I am so lost.. [Fallen into despair..]

[Kadaffi20]

I’ve been writing about my problem with lust, it’s been more than 2 years now and it’s worser than it was before… I’ve lost my faith,my knowledge,my hope, my love for God. Everything… In St. Alphonsus Liguori’s book “Hell’s Widest Gate - Lust” it says that when someone commits mortal sins over and over and over again God will/can take away their repentance, and when I commit this sin I do not even feel repentance, so how could I get pardon if I do not even regret this sin… I am so very lost, I feel I am in Hell already… When I read about God and saints I feel like Ok…Now what? I feel indifferent, I’ve even scandalized a person 3-5 times… I feel that I get blashpemy thoughts and hatred etc… I am so tired, please… Someone with knowledge of this, Please help me! I am in great danger! Even when I go to confession I am back in this sin maybe 1-3 days after!

 

[ready]

Make frequent Acts of Faith, Hope and Love. Here they are:

ACT OF FAITH:

O MY GOD, I firmly believe that Thou art one God in Three Divine Persons, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. I believe that Thy Divine Son became Man and died for our sins, and that He will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe these and all the truths which the Holy Catholic Church teaches, because Thou hast revealed them, Who canst neither deceive nor be deceived.

ACT OF HOPE:

O MY GOD, relying on Thy almighty power and infinite mercy and promises, I hope to obtain the pardon of my sins, the help of Thy grace, and life everlasting, through the merits of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Redeemer.

ACT OF LOVE:

O MY GOD, I love Thee above all things, with my whole heart and soul, because Thou art all-good and worthy of all my love. I love my neighbor as myself for the love of Thee. I forgive all who have injured me, and I ask pardon of all whom I have injured.

Also make Acts of Contrition whenever you have sinned.

You should definitely read The Devotion to the Sacred Heart, by Fr. John Croiset, S.J… If you have a strong devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and follow the spiritual instruction found in this book you will be very happy.

Find a holy traditional priest to speak with and do good spiritual reading. Avoid all near occasions of sin and work on not committing the least deliberate venial sin. Pray the Rosary daily and pray at least 10 min. of mental prayer daily. Never give up and don’t get discouraged by your falling repeatedly into certain sins – work on the cause of these sins and ask Our Lord for His help in uprooting these sins. Pray, do penance, and have confidence in God and patiently await His help. God bless you.

 

[kamiller1972]

I will not go into detail, but I can sure relate to your situation. What has been very helpful to me is surrounding myself with Christ and Christ centered activities-music, internet, TV, books-make sure all these are Christ centered and Christian related…, going outside and just feeling His presence all around you…I have engulfed myself in His presence in any way I can.

This may not be for you or perhaps you have already tried something similar, but if so, why not give this route another shot? Trust me…it has been work and a lot of times, I have to force myself…but in the end, it is soooo worth it

I will be praying for you!

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Cut off your access to the sin, to whatever degree possible. If this means cut off your access to the internet, do so. You need to DETOX. Then, later, we can worry about getting to meaningful repentance.

What have you done to avoid the near occasion of sin?

 

[Least]

You need to DETOX.

I agree with Prodigal (on this one ).

<------- CHECK YOUR VECTORS -------->

Don’t let your thought meander to any chain of sin in your existence without examining your daily life. Do you use excessive alcohol, prescription or illicit drugs, do you surround your self with avenues that reduce the threshhold for sin? Do you surround yourself with others who do?

Praise GOD anyway.

 

[Ophelia23]

I’ve been writing about my problem with lust, it’s been more than 2 years now and it’s worser than it was before… I’ve lost my faith,my knowledge,my hope, my love for God. Everything… In St. Alphonsus Liguori’s book “Hell’s Widest Gate - Lust” it says that when someone commits mortal sins over and over and over again God will/can take away their repentance, and when I commit this sin I do not even feel repentance, so how could I get pardon if I do not even regret this sin… I am so very lost, I feel I am in Hell already… When I read about God and saints I feel like Ok…Now what? I feel indifferent, I’ve even scandalized a person 3-5 times… I feel that I get blashpemy thoughts and hatred etc… I am so tired, please… Someone with knowledge of this, Please help me! I am in great danger! Even when I go to confession I am back in this sin maybe 1-3 days after!

The responses thus far have been great–pay attention to them. I simply wanted to add that it is ok to tell God exactly what you are feeling. I know that feeling of committing a sin and not feeling remorse for it. It is a crummy feeling. You feel like you should feel guilty, but don’t necessarily feel that guilt. I get it.

There is no shame in praying the following: Lord, I have sinned. I know I have sinned. I know I should feel sorrow and remorse, but I don’t. Teach me sorrow for my sins, Lord. Show me how to truly love you deeply, and how to despise my sin. I want to love you more, and I am struggling to do so. Be with me.

Your prayers will be answered. Stay strong, and remember that the difference between a Saint and the rest of us is, Saints fell down but continually got back up. We can all be saints. If you fall, get back up. Every. Single. Time.

Praying for you.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

I simply wanted to add that it is ok to tell God exactly what you are feeling.

Amen to that! And if you’re upset with God that He made these things feel good even though they’re wrong, tell Him that. Casting yourself upon His mercy sometimes means daring to speak bluntly with Him. And then listen to what He says.

 

[pollylodges]

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular Kadaffi20, and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.

 

[englishredrose]

You say you go to confession?

Can you not book a time with the priest through the confession if you prefer but a seperate time to the public time, where you can say exactly what you have said in the opening post? Really say it how it is?

I know, it taken me a good 25 year to be able to say it how it is to my priest out of confession (anglican) and am glad I have because am being guided much more than before. It took awhile for the advice to hit home in my own thoughts but being open with the priest will hopefully help you find a way forward that you don’t feel stuck in the circular trap. I am not Catholic so it be wrong for me to say what I would like to say and it would cause too much ill feeling but instead I simply strongly recommend you to say what you have said in the opening post to your priest be it in a seperate confession and really tell it as it is. Listen to how he is guiding you. Trust Him.

 

[Kadaffi20]

Thank all of you beautiful souls! I am very thankful and happy for all your answers.

1. The occasions of sin is i.e looking at immodest pictures with the though “nah, I won’t fall into mortal sin…” And talking to a female which I like much, I’ve made her fall into mortal sins many times… I feel terrible.
2. I’ve tried to say how it is in my confessions, I don’t really think that they’ve understood the danger I am in, it might have sounded for them that I am in control of the situation, I don’t know… Gotta speak more clearly to them.

I want to pray the rosary eveyday, which I do (almost every single day), I want to ‘use’ mental prayer too, like all the time. But it’s hard… When I get tempted like for 1 hour ago, I felt like i could fall, scary thought I know it is wrong but It’s like I don’t care for the moment…

Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do?

Thank you guys, too much help is better than too little help…

God bless!

 

[Pablopedro]

Thank all of you beautiful souls! I am very thankful and happy for all your answers.

1. The occasions of sin is i.e looking at immodest pictures with the though “nah, I won’t fall into mortal sin…” And talking to a female which I like much, I’ve made her fall into mortal sins many times… I feel terrible.
2. I’ve tried to say how it is in my confessions, I don’t really think that they’ve understood the danger I am in, it might have sounded for them that I am in control of the situation, I don’t know… Gotta speak more clearly to them.

I want to pray the rosary eveyday, which I do (almost every single day), I want to ‘use’ mental prayer too, like all the time. But it’s hard… When I get tempted like for 1 hour ago, I felt like i could fall, scary thought I know it is wrong but It’s like I don’t care for the moment…

Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do?

Thank you guys, too much help is better than too little help…

God bless!

What worked for me is having an action plan in place for when tempted. Make a plan ahead of time…if I start watching something I’m not supposed to, or starting thinking about things I shouldn’t, I am going to immediately stand up, walk outside, and say a Hail Mary.

As far as occasions of sin go, you’re just going to have to bite the bullet and admit you are an addict. That is to say alcoholics can’t just have one drink, people who’ve quit smoking can’t have just one cigarette, and you can’t just innocently look at one immodest picture, or video, or show.

Be sure to tell your confessor that this is something you struggle with habitually, and that you are having a hard time breaking the habit.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Thank all of you beautiful souls! I am very thankful and happy for all your answers.

1. The occasions of sin is i.e looking at immodest pictures with the though “nah, I won’t fall into mortal sin…” And talking to a female which I like much, I’ve made her fall into mortal sins many times… I feel terrible.

First of all, you can’t make someone fall into mortal sin (since it must be voluntary on their part). Either you do something which is against their will, in which case they do not sin, or you simply are the occasion of them falling into mortal sin. Needless to say, either of these things are seriously wrong, so you’re right to feel bad about them. Whenever you feel guilty, you need to repent of the very thing you feel guilty about, and cast it on Jesus.

But some concrete questions here: where do you see these immodest pictures? Can you avoid them? More importantly, I think you should avoid this woman, until you have more self-discipline. And perhaps even then, unless there is some important reason to spend time with her. Do not be alone with her. (I could give better advice here if you were more specific: what mortal sins are we talking about?)

1. I’ve tried to say how it is in my confessions, I don’t really think that they’ve understood the danger I am in, it might have sounded for them that I am in control of the situation, I don’t know… Gotta speak more clearly to them.

Yes. You try and tone things down in confession, and you probably don’t speak directly about how you sinned. “I fell into the sin of lust” doesn’t cut it. “I looked at pornography and masturbated” is more honest (if this is the sin you committed). And you need to present yourself as a person dealing with addiction, most likely.

I want to pray the rosary eveyday, which I do (almost every single day), I want to ‘use’ mental prayer too, like all the time. But it’s hard… When I get tempted like for 1 hour ago, I felt like i could fall, scary thought I know it is wrong but It’s like I don’t care for the moment…

That’s called concupiscence. Your will is submissive to the sin, and this makes you feel powerless. **You **do not have the power to resist this, bro. Only **Christ in you **can resist this. So surrender everything in your life to Him, and beg Him to strengthen you and protect you.

 

[Zekariya]

There is no shame in praying the following: Lord, I have sinned. I know I have sinned. I know I should feel sorrow and remorse, but I don’t. Teach me sorrow for my sins, Lord. Show me how to truly love you deeply, and how to despise my sin. I want to love you more, and I am struggling to do so. Be with me.

Makes me think of a prayer by Doctor of the Church, St John Chrysostom:

“O Lord, whether I will [desire] it or not, save me. As a filthy lover of material things I desire sinful defilement, but as You are good and all-powerful, You can hold me back. For if You have mercy on a righteous man, it is no great thing; if You save a pure man, it is nothing wonderful, since they are deserving of Your mercy. Rather, make known the wonder of Your mercy in me, who am wretched, sinful and defiled, and show Your compassion. Poor in all good works, I am a pauper, abandoned to You. O Lord, save me for Your mercy’s sake: For blessed are You unto the ages. Amen.”