I am so overwelmed!

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bayoubutterfly

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I have so much going on in my life right now and I have no idea what to do next! Here is a list of all the things I have going on:

-going through a divorce
-trying to sell my house, but have no place to live after because I have no job and my credit stinks
-I was working on my teaching degree, but now I need to get a job right now, I can’t work right now because of my classes.
-I was going to instead graduate with my Associates degree in May, I need 3 more classes which I am taking, but I am almost failing 2 of them
-I’m still grieving from a miscarriage from a relationship with a man that I should have never been with and treated me worse than my soon-to-be ex-husband ever did
-both of my kids are failing school, and I can’t afford tutoring so I am having to do it myself.

I know people say that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but it’s getting pretty close. I have no idea where to go from this point. I am SO overwhelmed that I want to drop this semester and just get a job, but I am SO close to graduating, but if I can’t pass my classes (and I have almost a 3.5 GPA) then I can’t graduate anyway! Would it be ridiculous to drop this semester and just work for a while and then next semester try to schedule classes around my work schedule or online. I will also be losing out on the money I spent in tuition this semester also. I just have no idea how to handle it all. CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!
 
If I were you I’d drop the classes, take them again when you are through with the sale of the house, and take one class at a time.
 
Hello

Umm… you are overwelmed! But you have to take one day at a time. If you don’t have a place to live and no job. I think that you should take time from school and get fiancially stable first for yourself and your kids. You degree will always be there to go back to, your kids will need food and shelter. That is more important. I will pray for you.

God Bless,

Gladys

:crossrc:
 
I can see why you are totally overwhelmed. I’ve been close to being there myself at times over the last couple of years in going through a divorce, starting working after being a SAHM, and dealing with my children who were traumatized and upset by all of the things that their dad told them.

Here is the thing that I do. I pray. I tell God that I am totally at that point where I can’t handle it anymore. I tell him that I appreciate all of the confidence that he has in me, but that is it I just don’t think I can handle it anymore. Then always things ease up just enough and I find new solutions to the problems.

Here is what I would do in your situation. Talk to your instructors, your advisor, the department chair, or whoever is there on campus who can help you. Explain that you have serious and compelling reasons to do a late drop. Usually at this point that would require dropping all of your classes. Explain your economic hardship. You might also want to see what employment options are available on campus. Oftentimes there are jobs with decent salaries and good benefits including free or reduced price tuition. Many colleges will even let full time staff take one of their classes during their work hours. I work at a college and get 6 units per semester free (3 of which can be taken during my work day) plus my health insurance for my whole family is only $8/month. That’s hard to beat.

Find out what assistance there is out there. See if you can get on the list for some low cost housing. Catholic Charities would be a great place to go to find out about any government funded or private funded housing for those with low incomes. They can also help you with your utility bills and give you a referral to your local food bank. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Call your children’s school. See what help is available. Even just being able to talk to a counselor about what they are going through might be helpful for your children.

If I remember correctly your ex is an alcoholic. Perhaps you can find some emotional support by attending al-anon meetings. I don’t know if you are also a victim of domestic violence, but there are support groups out there for that too.

Just remember that you are not in this alone. Don’t be afraid to ask God for extra help, and don’t be afraid to ask for whatever help is available in your community. Praying for you to find peace and strength, bayoubutterfly.
 
I’m worried that if I drop out now, that I won’t be able to go back, but I just having trouble keeping up with my work this semester. I have until Friday to drop classes.
 
I feel I have to tell you a little bit about my story. I had 3 kids and a husband that worked about 3.5 yrs out of our 13 yr marriage. He decided to walk out the door and empty our bank account. We had just bought a house and moved 500 miles. I gave up my career for the possibility of his graduate school. I had put him through college. So about a year after we move he decides to leave. We had $5000 in the bank and he took $4500 of it. It turns out he didn’t graduate… so he couldn’t go to graduate school (so I gave up my career for nothing). I also gave up my medical benefits, a nice home and stable life for this???

Anyway, 6 months after he left, I got laid off my job. I tried to find work but nothing that paid well… so I looked into college. It turned out that the unemployment office has programs for displaced workers and single moms… I qualified! About this time I transferred my kids to Catholic School (public was terrible) and got grants for their tuition. I sat the kids down and told them we were going to be poor for a long time but I really needed to go to school to get a better job. I ended up on food stamps, grants, and veteran benefits… things were tight but we were ok… I worked part time at my kids school and they actually did better because I was there and I had a relationship with their teachers. We had no extra money for anything we didn’t absolutely need… and even some of our needs.

The only thing I had were my kids and my faith. I prayed alot and did odd jobs for things like shampoo and toilet paper (can’t get those on food stamps). When the kids didn’t have school, I had to take them to classes with me because I couldn’t afford a babysitter. So the kids and I would pray together… and things started to happen… like the insurance bill for $300… the week before it was due… I got my deposit back from the phone company… $320. There was one time when I went into walmart with $10, a prescription and 3 hungry kids… I came out with the medicine, fed kids and $17.00 in my pocket. I had just bought a few things and they were still in the trunk of the car… well they went clearance and walmart has a policy of refunding the difference if it is within 10 days… I went to my car, took the stuff back, and rebought it for $21 less than the day before!

When I couldn’t seem to manage… money would magically appear… at Easter another parishoner left a card with $200 in it for Easter… or Christmas presents were brought to my house and put under the tree when I wasn’t home…

Just as I was going under totally… I applied for a college loan. They messed up the paperwork so bad and it kept taking longer and longer…I prayed and cried and prayed some more… the college decided to give me a scholarship for $3000 (I applied for a $2000 loan) because they were the cause of the paperwork problem…

Now… I ended up having to quit college with 3 classes left (1 I just knew I couldn’t pass) because I hurt my back and had to have back surgery. I ended up being able to retake one of my classes and I got an A… but those other 2 classes… well I had to get a job. So I worked, then I got another job and was working about 70 hours a week…but was too exhausted to cook… so we ate out every night… working i full time and 1 almost full time job was too much! So the week I quit the part time job, my full time job cut all over time… and my income got cut in half!!!

We struggled… we went into a bit of debt, but we survived. That was 10 yrs ago. My ex does not pay child support, but we still made it. I did meet a wonderful man and remarry but I am still paying off debts from that time… but we made it. We have food and shelter (I was supposed to sell the house but I didn’t… figuring that if he actually paid child support he would have a case to make me sell). Anyway… the point is… have perfect faith that God will provide and it will happen!
 
If you fail your classes,you will have lost the tuition money anyway. You can take classes many ways now. It’s never too late. That’s the only thing I can see that ca be dropped for a while.
Do you know anyone who can take the kids for a few months, until you are on your feet? Someone you can trust?
 
bayoubutterfly said:
I know people say that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but it’s getting pretty close.
Click to expand...
Sit down and talk to God… think for a moment -read the Scripture that is often misquoted (1 Cor 10:13)

**No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it. **

Sometimes I need to sit down and give God back the broken pieces of the mess that has been made. Do what is the best thing for your kids, seek out the help of your friends and family, of those at your Parish. God never designed us to live life alone, He means us to help each other.

There may be a tutor at your Parish who would be thrilled to help. Talk to the people at your school, see what solutions they can come up with.

Through it all, keep praying!
 
well it seems I was wrong about the drop date. It was this past Friday, so I guess I am stuck. Well, I guess I will just have to take whatever grades I get, which is hard for me because I wanted to graduate with honors very badly for my own personal reasons, and I was so close. I need a 3.5 GPA, and I had a 3.48 as of last semester. I will just e-mail all of my teachers and let them know that I’m not slacking on purpose, them all seem very understanding since they all know I have kids, etc.
 
I’ll pray for you right now to have strength to get through this time.:gopray:
 
Statistics, which I am HORRIBLE at math
Public Speaking, which I way behind on,
and Parenting, which is the only one I’m doing ok in
 
about school… this was really long ago, 25+ years, but one semester I was taking a lot of time off school when my father was dying. I was falling further and further behind in my classes. I knew that one of them was hopeless, and the time that I spent spitting into the wind on that one was time I could have spent trying to salvage the others.

So I spoke to the professor and he made me a deal. He would give me an Incomplete in the class, with my promise that I would retake the class the next semester off the record. Whatever grade I got he would change the Incomplete to. If I didn’t come back, the Incomplete would either stand or change to an F, I don’t really remember. Since the class was off the record I didn’t have to pay for those units and didn’t lose the money I had already paid out for the class.

Maybe there is a way you can postpone the classes for now. You have so much on your plate…Yes, the degree will help you get a better job but right now your immediate need is food and shelter.

My children go to a small Christian school (not Catholic). Although they do prefer to have degreed teachers, technically it is not a requirement. Since they can’t pay very well they look more to good Christian role models and ability to work with children and how well they teach, rather than the piece of paper they possess. Some schools give reduced or free tuition to teachers. Usually the non degreed teachers are working on their degrees and go to school at night. You might look into that. Having your children at school with you might help them as well as you.

I will keep you in my prayers. I know things are really hard for you right now. But do reach out to see what type of help is available to you. There have been some really good ideas. Yes, God helps us, but sometimes he uses other people as the mechanism. So be open to God using others to help you.

Arlene
 
bayoubutterfly said:
Statistics, which I am HORRIBLE at math
Public Speaking, which I way behind on,
and Parenting, which is the only one I’m doing ok in
Click to expand...
I would be horrible at statistics too. Does your college offer tutoring? Mine offers free tutoring. You might also see if anyone else in your class would like to study together. Although, Arlene’s idea about inquiring about an incomplete is a good one. I’ve processed the paperwork for an awful lot of those, so don’t consider that to be out of the question.

Glad to hear though that you are doing well with the really important class. 🙂 What are your plans when you are finished with school?
 
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