I am starting to hate confession

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dove51

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Sort of. I believe in it as a sacrament wholeheartedly and I am not one of those people who thinks that mentally confessing to God is sufficient. I love the happy, walking-on-a-cloud feeling I get afterwards (usually). I love saying acts of contrition, and penance, and doing examinations of conscience–these really help me. I love being in a state of grace.

But those feelings aren’t there anymore when I go to confession. I always feel like I did a shoddy job and God isn’t pleased with me. I seem to make my priests cross when I go to confession, and I am not sure entirely why. I am confessing everything the way I was taught, and I still seem to irritate them. And I get the sense that God is annoyed with me too. I left in tears today because the sense of failure at ticking off such a usually friendly priest seemed to just emanate through the screen and it hasn’t lifted off yet.

Above all, I don’t feel worthy enough to take the Eucharist. I suppose I am not since none of us really is, but still. It’s been about a month since I have, which doesn’t break the Easter rule, but being afraid is not a good reason to refuse. The thought of being at Mass tomorrow is terrifying me (for other reasons too, but mainly this) even though I’m supposedly in a state of grace now.

I just plain feel worthless right now. Like I will always be annoying other people and taking up their time, especially God’s. And confession seems to exacerbate it, because it is the outward manifestation of all my fears about myself.

What the heck is my deal? Does anyone else feel this way sometimes? What is the solution? Prayer? Yeah, I suppose that would be one of the prescriptions. But what do you do when you feel like God hates to listen to your prayers?
 
Please, don’t give up. God’s mercy is sufficient. We are all sinners and we need Him. He does not tire of us, He only knows how to love, since He is love.

You keep on picking yourself up and doing the best that you can. When you fall , you ask forgiveness , and receive His mercy. God our Father is there to pick us up, calm us and help us go again. He knows our faults and our hearts. He loves you and knows you need Him.

I will pray that you have peace and healing.

Blessings
 
Remember that you are primarily confessing to God, and He is NOT cross with you. He loves you very much and forgives you.

As to why your priest was cross with you, there are a few possibilities. Perhaps he was having a bad day. Not to excuse it, but priests are human and sinners, too. (You can offer up patience with him and forgiveness of his behavior as part of your penance.)

A few things that do tend to annoy priests in confession:
  • Confessing other people’s sins instead of (or in addition to) our own. For example, instead of simply confessing that I argued with my spouse, if I were to tell all the things that my spouse said and did to upset me.
  • Being too long-winded, taking too much time. Priests’ time is a rare commodity these days, and we also need to consider whether others are waiting behind us. We should confess our sins concisely, giving just enough information for the priest to know what the sin was, not giving a lot of extra background information. If he needs to know more, he will ask.
  • Bringing up things in the confessional that are not matter for confession. If we have other things to discuss, we can ask to make an appointment.
 
People just don’t want to be bothered. In other words, they’re lazy and apathetic. He’s irritated with you because you’re making him work and he apparently couldn’t care less. You have to see past the sinner in priestly robes to the real source of confession namely Christ. He uses this very imperfect vessel to grant you unconditional love and forgiveness. Remember it is Christ who forgives in the sacrament. It seems like a big part of penance regarding this sacrament is tolerating the priest granting absolution. 😦 Stick in there. God loves you. 🙂
 
I am reminded of Mother Angelica’s story about the time she walked along the pier and a great wave came up and splashed her. She looked down and saw a tiny little silvery drop of water sitting on her hand. Mother thought this droplet too beautiful to keep, so she threw it back into the sea. Then she heard a little voice say “That drop of water was your sins, and the ocean is my mercy. Can you find that drop now?”

We have to remember that God’s love for us is infinite, and his mercy is infinite - ask and ye shall receive.

As for your priest, as others have suggested - pray for him, but also maybe next time you’re in confession, let him know that if you offended him, then you are sorry and wish to confess that also. Even if it was his sin and not yours, he will think about the affect his mood has on his flock and (God willing) he will make amends.

God bless you, and I’ll keep you in my prayers,
Sam.
 
Hi, I don’t know if this will be helpful to you but I’m having a similiar problem as you have just explained and I made an appointment to speak with a good confessor. I

He told me that this too is a form of spiritual dryness and that God is calling us to a higher level of holiness at this time. He talked about the different levels of holiness and said that in the beginning many consolations are bestowed upon us so that we may experience all the joys of God’s love for us; but at some point in order for us to grow He removes these consolations so that we don’t act only merely on what we’re “feeling” but we must now use the act of our WILL (even when it seems we and everything else are repulsive to us and to God.) This is very difficult for us to experience but it is very pleasing to God and in time this difficulty will pass.

He also told me to absolutely receive the Eucharist (it’s the devil who doesn’t want you to receive it if you’re in a state of grace.He sees your difficulties and wants to use this opportunity to destroy your relationship with Our Lord)

I was also told that this most likely means that God is getting ready to call us to do something specific so perservere and it will be revealed.

I hope this helps and I hope soon you can find peace with your situation.
 
dove51 said:
But those feelings aren’t there anymore when I go to confession. I always feel like I did a shoddy job and God isn’t pleased with me. I seem to make my priests cross when I go to confession, and I am not sure entirely why. I am confessing everything the way I was taught, and I still seem to irritate them. And I get the sense that God is annoyed with me too. I left in tears today because the sense of failure at ticking off such a usually friendly priest seemed to just emanate through the screen and it hasn’t lifted off yet.

Above all, I don’t feel worthy enough to take the Eucharist. I suppose I am not since none of us really is, but still. It’s been about a month since I have, which doesn’t break the Easter rule, but being afraid is not a good reason to refuse. The thought of being at Mass tomorrow is terrifying me (for other reasons too, but mainly this) even though I’m supposedly in a state of grace now.

I just plain feel worthless right now. Like I will always be annoying other people and taking up their time, especially God’s. And confession seems to exacerbate it, because it is the outward manifestation of all my fears about myself.

What the heck is my deal? Does anyone else feel this way sometimes? What is the solution? Prayer? Yeah, I suppose that would be one of the prescriptions. But what do you do when you feel like God hates to listen to your prayers?
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Whenever you confess your sins, God is pleased with you. He loves you so much, and there is a celebration in Heaven whenever a sinner repents. You’re feeling this dryness as a form of spiritual warfare. God will give you the graces to overcome this! Please keep up with your prayers and devotions (and perhaps add a few extra minutes of prayer too). Just a few minutes, 3-5. As a previous poster said, God is calling you to a higher level of holiness. It is difficult, because the good feelings are no longer there, and we must proceed by an act of the will alone, but it will deepen your relationship with the Lord.

Your priests may be a little cross because of the heat maybe? You know, little room, no windows, July… Do you habitually pray for your confessor? That prayer could fill those extra minutes I suggested.

After your confession, please receive our Lord in the Eucharist! The Blessed Sacrament is a source of intense graces! As with prayer, you must proceed by an act of the will alone. In the state of grace, you are as worthy as any of us can be to receive Him.

One more thing; you can never take up God’s time. He is outside of it, and holds all time in His hand.
 
Mark_Robert said:
People just don’t want to be bothered. In other words, they’re lazy and apathetic. He’s irritated with you because you’re making him work and he apparently couldn’t care less. You have to see past the sinner in priestly robes to the real source of confession namely Christ. He uses this very imperfect vessel to grant you unconditional love and forgiveness. Remember it is Christ who forgives in the sacrament. It seems like a big part of penance regarding this sacrament is tolerating the priest granting absolution. 😦 Stick in there. God loves you. 🙂
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Mark Robert, that is a whole lot of presumption and rash judgment. We do not know the entire circumstances of her confession, and it is not our business to know nor to judge the priest for his reaction.
 
Crepusculum said:
I am reminded of Mother Angelica’s story about the time she walked along the pier and a great wave came up and splashed her. She looked down and saw a tiny little silvery drop of water sitting on her hand. Mother thought this droplet too beautiful to keep, so she threw it back into the sea. Then she heard a little voice say “That drop of water was your sins, and the ocean is my mercy. Can you find that drop now?”
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That’s awesome!! 😃 👍

I agree with what many posters have said regarding the priest (maybe having a bad day, also a sinner, etc.) and the fact that our feelings don’t determine whether we are in a state of grace or not. That is the wonderful thing about this (and other sacraments) – their validity is not dependent on our feelings, but on the love and mercy of our Lord! We can be confident that even if we don’t get that “on a cloud” feeling after going to confession (I know what you mean there) we are still forgiven, still in a state of grace, and still just had a very personal encounter with Jesus, even if it didn’t feel like it.

The following is from The Diary of St. Faustina (see my signature for a link to the Divine Mercy website if you’re interested – I HIGHLY recommend reading it, it’s wonderful!) – I hope it helps:
In Saint Faustina’s diary, she recorded that Jesus also indicated that He Himself is there in the confessional. He told her, “When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I Myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Tell souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity." (1602)
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Jesus knew that people would need to hear these words today, so He went on to say “Come with faith to the feet of My representative…and make your confession before Me. The person of the priest is, for Me, only a screen. Never analyze what sort of a priest that I am making use of; open your soul in confession as you would to Me, and I will fill it with My light." (1725) "Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy.” (1602)
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source: divinemercysunday.com/message.htm
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I just found this on the EWTN website under today’s Mass readings (bolding mine):

"Have you sinned? Go into church and wipe out your sin. As often as you might fall down in the marketplace, you pick yourself up again. So too, as often as you sin, repent and confess your sin. Do not despair as the devil wants you to."
~ St. John Chrysostom

😉 :hug1:
 
dove51,
There are many great postings above…many better than mine I am sure…the quote from St Faustinas Diary might be most helpful.

Above all don’t stop going to mass and receiving the Eucharist
[One assumes that since you have gone to confession that of course the normal requirements are met…ie not in grave or mortal sin… etc]

As for the priest…perhaps he was having a bad day???
Please pray for him.
I would also suggest maybe you make an appt with him? Mention your fears and also how you felt… Maybe by discussing why you are feeling like you are getting less from confession these days [my words]…He might have some suggestions to help you see how loved in Gods eyes you are and worthy to receive Him in the Holy Eucharist… [perhaps you might be experiencing a bit of scruples also??? … ]You seem quite devout and apparantly receive the sacrements frequently… Talk to your parish priest or a priest at a retreat center or your spiritual director…

Remember God loves you! You seem to be doing all the right things… Blessings :angel1:

I agree with what many posters have said regarding the priest (maybe having a bad day, also a sinner, etc.) and the fact that our feelings don’t determine whether we are in a state of grace or not. That is the wonderful thing about this (and other sacraments) – their validity is not dependent on our feelings, but on the love and mercy of our Lord! We can be confident that even if we don’t get that “on a cloud” feeling after going to confession (I know what you mean there) we are still forgiven, still in a state of grace, and still just had a very personal encounter with Jesus, even if it didn’t feel like it.

The following is from The Diary of St. Faustina (see my signature for a link to the Divine Mercy website if you’re interested – I HIGHLY recommend reading it, it’s wonderful!) – I hope it helps:Quote:
In Saint Faustina’s diary, she recorded that Jesus also indicated that He Himself is there in the confessional. He told her, “When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I Myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Tell souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity." (1602)

Jesus knew that people would need to hear these words today, so He went on to say “Come with faith to the feet of My representative…and make your confession before Me. The person of the priest is, for Me, only a screen. Never analyze what sort of a priest that I am making use of; open your soul in confession as you would to Me, and I will fill it with My light." (1725) "Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy.” (1602)

source: divinemercysunday.com/message.htm
 
Imagine a glass that is completely full of sludge and filth in the bottom 3 inches.

Now, imagine pouring pristine, pure water into that glass, and keep filling it and keep filling it. What happens to that gunk at the bottom? It stirs up, and gushes out of the glass, eventually leaving nothing but clean, sparkling water.

That’s what happens to your soul every time you go to Confession. God pours His grace into you, filling you with His life, and causing the gunk of your sins to leave. Sometimes that process of purification can lead to some pretty unpleasant emotions and thoughts as the old filth comes out.
 
Here’s what I teach second-graders about the sacrament of Penance: What would happen if you never washed your hands? Your hands would smell bad, you could eventually become ill or infected, you would spread your dirt, and probably infect and/or sicken others. Kids picked up on this quickly, especially when I correlated cleanliness with confession.

Why do we take care of the dirt that is seen, but neglect what can harm or sicken our souls?

Don’t analyze by feelings - they are notoriously unreliable. Pray for a confessor who can help you; don’t be afraid to ask for help when confessing. Perhaps your priest can aid you in how you approach the sacrament.

Spend time in prayer to the Holy Spirit before you confess - He’s never let me down.

And pray for your priests. I can’t hit this one hard enough.
 
dove51 said:
… I love the happy, walking-on-a-cloud feeling I get afterwards (usually). I love saying acts of contrition, and penance, and doing examinations of conscience–these really help me. I love being in a state of grace.
… But what do you do when you feel like God hates to listen to your prayers?
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Just try to remember that the sacrament is not about feelings. Sometimes you will have good feelings. Sometimes not.

But the thing about the sacrament of confession is this: it works. Your sins are forgiven, all of them, no matter how you feel, no matter how pleasant or rude the priest was, no matter if the experience was uplifting or depressing.

There is a Latin phrase that applies to the sacraments: ex opere operato. What that means is: they work. They do what they are intended to do. They work through the power of Jesus, no matter how we feel or how the priest feels. And they always give grace, even if we’re unaware of it and don’t feel a thing.

God listens to your prayers every time. He listens more closely than your friends or relatives. So even when you don’t feel like he hears you, keep in mind that he does hear you, and wants what’s best for you.
 
We all go through a period of darkness when we think God is there anymore because we have lost that warm good felling we did before…don’t worry this might be a test
Are you going to pass?

If you do those good felling will come back and in a greater abundance!
 
dove51 said:
Sort of. I believe in it as a sacrament wholeheartedly and I am not one of those people who thinks that mentally confessing to God is sufficient. I love the happy, walking-on-a-cloud feeling I get afterwards (usually). I love saying acts of contrition, and penance, and doing examinations of conscience–these really help me. I love being in a state of grace.

But those feelings aren’t there anymore when I go to confession. I always feel like I did a shoddy job and God isn’t pleased with me. I seem to make my priests cross when I go to confession, and I am not sure entirely why. I am confessing everything the way I was taught, and I still seem to irritate them. And I get the sense that God is annoyed with me too. I left in tears today because the sense of failure at ticking off such a usually friendly priest seemed to just emanate through the screen and it hasn’t lifted off yet.

Above all, I don’t feel worthy enough to take the Eucharist. I suppose I am not since none of us really is, but still. It’s been about a month since I have, which doesn’t break the Easter rule, but being afraid is not a good reason to refuse. The thought of being at Mass tomorrow is terrifying me (for other reasons too, but mainly this) even though I’m supposedly in a state of grace now.

I just plain feel worthless right now. Like I will always be annoying other people and taking up their time, especially God’s. And confession seems to exacerbate it, because it is the outward manifestation of all my fears about myself.

What the heck is my deal? Does anyone else feel this way sometimes? What is the solution? Prayer? Yeah, I suppose that would be one of the prescriptions. But what do you do when you feel like God hates to listen to your prayers?
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Dove51,

Read slowly. It is not that God hates your confession; it is not that the priest is annoyed at your confession…it is none of those things.

Confession is one of those sacraments in which there is a renewable source of grace! It makes us stronger and “arms” us to fight the wickedness and snares of Lucifer and his demons.

That is what is happening to you. Lucifer does not want you to go to confession because he knows the power of this sacrament!

I confess weekly. The priest sometimes tells me that temptation is something that will stop only after we are dead. When I feel or percieve that he is getting annoyed at my weekly visits to the confessional, I tell him, " father, I am seeking the grace and power of the sacrament". He understands.

Don’t let anyone deter you from the sacrament of confession. The moment in which we feel that we are without sin…we have already sinned of pride.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.
 
dove51 said:
Sort of. I believe in it as a sacrament wholeheartedly and I am not one of those people who thinks that mentally confessing to God is sufficient. I love the happy, walking-on-a-cloud feeling I get afterwards (usually). I love saying acts of contrition, and penance, and doing examinations of conscience–these really help me. I love being in a state of grace.

But those feelings aren’t there anymore when I go to confession. I always feel like I did a shoddy job and God isn’t pleased with me. I seem to make my priests cross when I go to confession, and I am not sure entirely why. I am confessing everything the way I was taught, and I still seem to irritate them. And I get the sense that God is annoyed with me too. I left in tears today because the sense of failure at ticking off such a usually friendly priest seemed to just emanate through the screen and it hasn’t lifted off yet.

Above all, I don’t feel worthy enough to take the Eucharist. I suppose I am not since none of us really is, but still. It’s been about a month since I have, which doesn’t break the Easter rule, but being afraid is not a good reason to refuse. The thought of being at Mass tomorrow is terrifying me (for other reasons too, but mainly this) even though I’m supposedly in a state of grace now.

I just plain feel worthless right now. Like I will always be annoying other people and taking up their time, especially God’s. And confession seems to exacerbate it, because it is the outward manifestation of all my fears about myself.

What the heck is my deal? Does anyone else feel this way sometimes? What is the solution? Prayer? Yeah, I suppose that would be one of the prescriptions. But what do you do when you feel like God hates to listen to your prayers?
Click to expand...
Hey don’t despair. Have you ever thought that there might be another reason why you are felling this way?
I’ll tell you one, and it isn’t bad at all, ok!
  1. It seem,s like you could be at a point where all the beauty and grace of God related to confessing is at a point of saturation, at a place where you are not able to gain more grace as you are. So God prunes you and ouch! it hurts you don’t feel the same as before, it seems that others are picking on you, this pruning makes you feel that it’s no good any more. Well it is not bad at all.
Think of Job, what happened to him? what did his wife say, his friends, he couldn’t understand. He had all taken from him and yet in this pruning he never sinned (as you have not) this pruning is like God taking the old skin off you that you are used to having on and in HIS time and HIS new skin He is getting you ready for another new skin that will take you into being ready anew to do the new works and experience the new understanding of confession God has and wants for you.

Don’t be sad it is good, the bible tells us that Jesus told the people that God prunes those He loves. What a blessing. It will not take long and you will feel so new in God’s love.

Godbless
 
A good confession takes tons of the weight of sin off our backs. It brings us back to grace.
 
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