I am struggling. I need help. (Any advice appreciated)

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GoDodgers19

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I feel troubled. I have a mindset before I respond to someone’s question, I have to repeat in my mind, “I need the father, I reject the mark of the beast!” I have to say it or else I feel like I commit a mortal sin. I have to remind myself that it is not a sin to not say it but my mind just body feels like I have. It takes me quite a few seconds to respond. If my mom ask me something, she’ll wait there for a few seconds for a response and she has to remind me of he question. I mean…what I can I do? I don’t want to feel like I have to do this. Side notes: this has really affected my behavior. My mom notices that I get a little more grouchy and quiet. At school people aren’t talking a lot. I also feel that I have to do out of the box stuff to keep friends. Is this normal? What can I do? Also do I have to ALWAYS say this? I do need the father and I reject the mark of the beast but does it have to be in my mind 24/7?

Also my school situation kinda gets worst. People at my school are constantly talking about s–, or they make s–ual jokes. I heard it is a sin to listen to an impure conversation. During role call, I hear this kids next to me talking about that stuff. There is fights going on at my school over girls. I hear the kids making jokes about having s–. Really, they talk about what goes on in a p–nographic skit. I get a little angry.
Also what gets me angry is god’s name being used in vain. It is nails on a chackboard! It makes me sad to hear my friend “Jesus Christ!” In such a wrathful manner. My friend doesn’t think it is a sin. I have heard the Bible passage to not eat with sinners. Am I sinning by sitting at their lunch table?
It is very hard to find someone pure these days 😦
MY dad says I have been acting different lately, mainly because of my struggle. He just came into my room and ask, “you’ve been acting strange lately.” I really need help! Also my dad said that I need to start thinking like a kid and worry about mortal sin when I am older. I want to come home play video games. I don’t want to come home and just sleep. I want to come home and give my mom a million kisses, not disrespectfully say hi to her. I want to go ride my bike and not be slouch on my bed worrying and playing a game.
I just went to confession! I want to come to Christ so badly and I don’t want to become like the sexually immoral!
You’re advice is greatly appreciated! God bless and go in peace

*i think I may have OCD
Go Dodgers
 
I’m simply going to address your last line. If you think you have a mental illness ask your parents if you can see a professional about it. Starting there may change this whole conversation.
 
xYes, you seem to be suffering unduly. i second the suggestion that you explain to your parents that you have been behaving oddly because of this compulsion to say this phrase, and any other problems you may be having.

However, I think you should also talk with a good priest about the Faith. You seem to want to be holy, and have no idea how to accomplish that.

Here is a note you might find helpful:

Quadrupani note

St Francis;14344559 said:
God is not trying to trick you. Think of the teachings of the Church as an owner’s manual rather than an IRS tax code 😉

Here is an article which talks about temptation pretty thoroughly. He mentions but doe not emphasize as much as I once would have needed, that if we do not give in to the temptations, we have not sinned. No matter how strong the temptation is, no matter how long it lingers, how many times it returns to us, if we do not give in, we have not sinned. The quote I was actually looking for when I found this. . .

Which I have finally found!
The more persistent the temptation, the clearer it is that you have not given consent to it. “It is a good sign,” says St. Francis de Sales, “when the tempter makes so much noise and commotion outside of the will, for it shows that he is not within.” An enemy does not besiege a fortress that is already in his power, and the more obstinate the attack, the more certain We may be that our resistance continues.
  1. Your fears lead you to believe you are defeated at the very moment you are gaining the victory. This comes from the fact that you confound feeling with consent, and, mistaking a passive condition of the imagination for an act of the will, you consider that you have yielded to the temptation because you felt it keenly.

  1. From Light and Peace by Fr. Quadrupani
This is a great book and pretty short! And can also be found in audio at Librivox.
Click to expand...

Hpefully it will still come out as it is from the old board.
 
You need to show your post to your parents, and talk to them about it further. You need help from your parents, not CAF posters.
 
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Consider the words of St. Thomas Aquinas, known as the Angelic Doctor - he provided meaning to the three gifts given to the baby Jesus by the wise men:
He wrote,

For wisdom can be indicated through gold; “if you . . . will dig for her as for a treasure: then you will understand the fear of the Lord” (Prov 2:4). Through frankincense, devoted prayer; “let my prayer be directed as incense in thy sight; the lifting up of my hands, as evening sacrifice” (Ps 140:2). Through myrrh, the mortification of the body: “mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth” (Col 3:5); “my hands dropped with myrrh” (Song 5:5)." (Commentary on the Gospel of Matthew, Ch. 2, L. 3, 201)

Learn to turn your struggle into your love for God, through dialogue with the “public officials” (STh Sup., q. 31, a. 1, Rep. 1), that is the priests in your life with the Catholic Church. As a lay person, a “private individual” (ibid.) make many quiet visits to the Blessed Sacrament as a wise man and in silence recall your life in his presence. And do not keep your life to yourself, give it unconditionally to Jesus - particularly the three gifts which will greatly edify holy families around the world (through the mediation of Jesus). The gifts are not your own - they came from the Father.
 
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You did well by going to confession. Pray continually. There is a theory that the mind can’t do two things at once. The way I got rid of immoral thoughts was to pray short prayers continually. They are called “aspirations”.

Here’s a sample:
Jesus, Mary, I love you. Save souls!

Jesus I trust in you.

Jesus, I love you.

Jesus, have mercy on me.


I still pray the Hail Mary all day long.

You can also practice the devotion known as the Presence of God. When you do this, you acknowledge that God is always with you. You can speak to God the Father, God the Son, or God the Holy Spirit, whichever Divine Person you want.

Or, you can simply pray to God. So, what you do is that you address God all day long. So, you might start your morning by saying, “Thank you, Lord, for waking me up!” Then, “Lord, have you seen my sneakers?” Etc. etc. All day long. You can end by telling God all about your day and what you look forward to, tomorrow.

Also, does your Parish offer a healing Mass where you can receive the Sacrament of Healing (i.e. Anointing)? Have people pray for you.

I hope these suggestions help.
 
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Hi, GoDodgers. I am not a medical professional, but what you describe is not spiritually healthy. It sounds as if you have severe scrupulosity and OCD, though I recommend getting a medical professional to help you with this and get their professional opinion as opposed to some random person on the internet. You should also bring this to the attention of your confessor and/or priest and let him know you think you have scrupulosity and if there is anyone he can direct you to for help.
 
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Please show this thread to your parents they know something is troubling you. Just let them read your words
 
You said in your last line just what I was thinking, you sound as though you have OCD. It is not uncommon among teens. Do you have a physician, school counselor, etc… whom you can trust?
 
Josiah, I find it really inspirational the extent that you are working on being holy. Mother Teresa said:"“Saints are only sinners who keep trying.” I thought of this quote while I read your post 🙂 I think you are a good person, and are being called to great things. Keep trying, never give up.
I understand how hard it is for us young people at school, so much impure conversation goes on… I do not think it is a sin to hear the impure conversation, just do not participate in it. I find saying a prayer to Our Lady (the most Holy, pure role model we have!) helps me if I hear/see anything unpure. Trying saying something like: “By thine Immaculate Conception, O Mary, make my body pure, my mind pure, and my soul holy.” or “My Mother, keep me this day from mortal sin!” followed by a Hail Mary. Also, pray for the person who says the impure words, offer that person to Our Lady.
I liked how De_Maria spoke of praying continually. Those are beautiful mantras! Your prayer about rejecting the mark of the beast is an important one, especially in our times, but you should not feel constantly agitated. Be at peace. God is in control. He loves you and will look after you. Ask Him for peace when you feel this way.
You said that it is very hard to find pure people these days, and I agree. Pray that God will send you some true friends, some good company.
You are in my thoughts and my prayers Josiah! God Bless you!
 
PS: I found these prayers for you! I think they will help you feel at peace. God bless xx

O Jesus, I know very little about You, but please help me to open my heart to allow You to come into my soul, so that You can heal me, comfort me, and fill me with Your Peace. Help me to feel joy, to conquer all negative thoughts, and to learn the way to make me understand how to please You, so that I can enter Your New Paradise, where I can live a life of love, joy and wonder with You, forever and ever.
Jesus, I trust in You. Help me to love You more. Fill me with the confidence to surrender in full and final union with You. Help me to grow my trust in You during difficult times. Fill me with Your Peace. I come to You, dear Jesus, as a child, free of all worldly ties; free of all conditions and I hand You over my will to do with it as You see fit for the sake of my own and that of other souls.
O dearest Jesus, my beloved Saviour, fill me with Your Love. Fill me with Your Strength. Fill me with Your Wisdom. Fill me with Your Perseverance. Fill me with Your Humility. Fill me with Your Courage. Fill me with Your Passion. Amen.
 
I suffer from compulsive thoughts. I have gone through some of what you describe. It sounds like you have it too. It’s best to get these things sorted out early as they can seriously harm your ability to function in society later on. Go to the doctors and explain your experiences.

Personally I take citalopram and that helps with my intrusive thoughts.
 
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GoDodgers19 said:
I have to say it or else I feel like I commit a mortal sin.
Click to expand...
This sort of thing is beyond the cyber-chatter of an internet forum. You need to seek the council of a Priest who is able to guide you on a one-on-one, human basis.
 
Professional guidance is called for here. You could…
…show this post to your parents and ask them to help you get professional mental health assistance.
…consult your school counselor who might also be able help get you professional assistance.
…talk with your doctor directly, show him/her this post, and proceed from there.

You’ll be in my prayers. Be at peace.
 
GoDodgers19,

Like people have suggested, it would be important to ask the right people for help, especially your parents.

The book “Psychc Wholeness and Healing” by the Catholic psychiatrists Baars and Terruwe might helpful to you. It helped me.

As with any problem, I encourage everyone to do what a little child would do: go to your Mother for help. Mary is always with you, caring for you. She wants to help.
 
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