I am the worst Catholic in the world!

[CatholicSam]

RyanL’s Wife, I’m just laying all of they options down. If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. And if a civil marriage is causing Michael-Peter to be in a state of mortal sin, he should either have it convalidated or terminated. And yes, he said he **was ** in love with his wife when he married her. That’s past tense. The fact is that he’s not really married as far as the Church goes, and it would be perfectly acceptable either way. There are many problems here, including the fact that the wife refuses to let the future children be raised Catholic. This is an impediment to convalidation. If you really want to know why I said what I said, you can read my whole posts, as I believe I am rather clear with what I am saying. As for the sign of the cross thing, I still think it would be funny to see someone do that (mostly for the minister’s reaction), but I mainly wrote it to give Michael-Peter a smile. I didn’t think he would actually do that I’m sorry that this offended you so much, but I was addressing Michael-Peter and had no intention of offending anyone in the least. Thank you for your concern.

 

[Ana]

Michael-Peter:

You see, I’m married to a wonderful woman and I love her very much.

Love is being used in the present tense here.

Michael-Peter:

… and I’m angry with myself most of all, because I don’t know how to bridge this gap and reach out to the woman I love!

… and here.

Don’t abandon her Michael, it is not the Catholic way. Not that you gave ANY indication that you would. Look to St. Monica. She was married to an unbeliever. She tirelessly prayed for her husband (who eventually converted), and for her son who became SAINT Augustine.

You sound like a wonderful man and you have said that your wife is a wonderful woman. God will bring you both through this. Pray for perseverance and patience, and look towards the good things in your marriage as you wait for change.

What part of the cross is Christ asking you to carry?

What weaknesses are being highlighted in your own soul through this trial? Where has God used this already to purify and strengthen your faith, to help you be made ready for Heaven? What is Christ teaching you?

 

[RyanL_s_Wife]

Catholic Sam,

I debated on whether or not it was appropriate to respond, However, I realize your utmost concern is for Michael. and you seem to have some misinformation, so I thought it better to respond. I will try to keep it brief.

You said:

he said he **was ** in love with his wife when he married her. That’s past tense.

Michael said:

I’m married to a wonderful woman and I love her very much.

So, I read this to mean he is still in love with his wife, present tense.
You said:

the wife refuses to let the future children be raised Catholic. This is an impediment to convalidation.

Michael said:

She doesn’t want our children raised “just” Catholic. She wants them raised as both, so when they’re older they can make the choice.

So, while this isn’t the best arrange, she isn’t refusing to allow him to bring them up in the Church. However, even if she was,
his wife doesn’t need to agree for the sanatio (which is what he could get to make the marriage valid without her participation), There only needs to be a “reasonable expectation” Meaning, as Michael quoted earlier:

to do everything I can to see that our children are raised in the Church

So, even if the wife refused to allow the children to attend Mass, which she isn’t, he could still convalidate the marriage by agreeing to do the best he could to raise the children Catholic. Do your best, does not always mean success. Of course, I am sure everyone here hopes and prays that he will be successful. As I said, I am sure you have to best intention for Michael, we can both just pray for him and hope he does as God intends him to do.

Michael, I am sorry if Catholic Sam and I got sidetracked from You and your issues. I wish the best for you, and I hope you will consider annulment only as a last resort.

But as everyone knows, God should come first in your life, and you must do everything you can to get your life right with Him. I personally, just hope and pray you can take your wife with you on your journey.

God Bless,

RyanL’s Wife

 

[CatholicSam]

Ryan L’s Wife and Ana, thank you for correcting me on the issue of Michael-Peter’s love of his wife. I can’t believe I missed that I will be praying for his wife’s conversion (whether it be to Catholicism or to a deeper love of God in her Baptist tradition with understanding of Michael’s faith) and for their marriage–for them to grow closer to God together.

 

[Ana]

Ana, Michael cannot maintain marital relations and partake in the Sacraments at the same time as this would constitue mortal sin.!

This is something he needs to consult a priest about. We can judge whether or not a particular sin is mortal, but not whether the person is “in mortal sin”, this should be left to discuss between him and a qualified confessor/spiritual director.

He can go to confession to maintain and take advantadges of the graces that ARE available to him, and the graces available through a spiritual communion have been expounded by many of the Saints.

CatholicSam:

He is not married as far as the Catholic Church is concerned, and any so-called “marital relations” at this time would be the same as fornication/premarital sex. Here are some moral solutions:

1. Have the marriage convalidated (or “blessed”) in the Catholic Church.
2. Abstain from sex until the marriage is convalidated.
3. Divorce and seek annulment (which will be granted in his case–it will be one of the easiest cases, actually).
4. Formally leave the Catholic Church (although this is an intrisically evil act and sinful in itself, it will make the marriage valid). I guess I can’t really put this on the list of moral options.

Well, since Michael is on fire for his faith, #4 is out of the question. And his wife refuses to have the marriage blessed, so #1 and #2 are severely hindered (although I believe there is a way for some people to have their marriage convalidated without their spouse’s cooperation). But if Michael went behind his wife’s back and against her wishes, this would probably do more harm than good for their marriage. So this leaves #3, civil divorce and Catholic annulment.
!

There are instances that it is permissable to have marital relations when it seems to be otherwise (as in the case where one or the other has been sterilized without the consent of the spouse). Again this is something that needs to be discussed with a qualified confessor/spiritual director.

cont.

 

[Ana]

Scott and Kimberly did not abstain. In fact, Christ used the birth of one their children to help Kimberly on her journey TOWARDS the Catholic Church. End result … God’s victory, as well as a tremendous blessing towards the ecumenical movement of our Church…

Not from a “holier than thou, you are not good enough to be married to me, so I am leaving you” but through prayer and a Godly commitment to his wife and his marriage.

In my own experience, it is through the example of Christ’s patient, faithful, and UNCONDITIONAL love that healing was accomplished in our marriage.

Bring your heart into the rule books with you, or there will be unbalance.

Just because he CAN get an annullment doesn’t mean he should.

He has no good reason to divorce her. She did not make a commitment to be Catholic when they were married. She did not mislead him … actually it is she who was shocked by his revelation and could be the one to claim the “bait and switch”

Option 1 does not happen overnight. It took Kimberly five years, and my husband six. But before his conversion God made it clear to me that I was to love my husband, whether he was Catholic or not. It was only when I was able to “let go” of that “condition” and love him unconditionally, did God see fit to bless us with a unity of Faith.

And they ARE married in the eyes of the Church, their marriage has yet to be convalidated and raised to the level of Sacrament, but he is not free to marry anyone else and would be considered in adultery if he did, “in the eyes of the Church.”

I certainly understand your perspective, but I do respectfully disagree. I think that part of the problems with the high number of broken families has to do with a rush to divorce court and an unwillingness to persevere throught the hard times. (Thank God, Christ did not act this way!)

The Church places much emphasis on the family unit, and advising divorce and annulments too hastily can be extremely destructive, not only to the family in question, but also to our society. We are called to edify and build up one another, and also to proclaim God’s love and VICTORY. I am surprised to hear of such a legalistic and secular mindset from a Catholic. It gives the impression that his wife is not worth suffering for (Jesus certainly thinks she was), and that there is little if any hope for his marriage when nothing could be FURTHER from the truth!! Nothing is impossible with God!! I could see if the OP brought it up as an option, but he no where gave ANY indication that he was considering leaving his wife , why would you want to plant that seed of doubt!! As for me, I will be the bearer of the “Good News”

Micahel, God can heal the wounds of your marriage, He desires to bring you and your spouse into the fullness of His love. Trust in Him, and allow him to teach you and purify you, so that you may be an ever more beautiful reflection of Him. This cross, is custom made for you and he will bring all to His glory and YOUR BENEFIT!! Do not run from your crosses … it is only through them that you can experience His VICTORY!! You are included in God’s plan for your wife, and she is included in His plan for you!! Pray and trust!!

 

[Ana]

CatholicSam:

Ryan L’s Wife and Ana, thank you for correcting me on the issue of Michael-Peter’s love of his wife. I can’t believe I missed that I will be praying for his wife’s conversion (whether it be to Catholicism or to a deeper love of God in her Baptist tradition with understanding of Michael’s faith) and for their marriage–for them to grow closer to God together.

We must have crossed posts, I hope I didn’t come off too strong.

It’s easy to miss things in posts, especially when they are long. I’ve done the same thing many … many times.

That sounds like a wonderful prayer, I will be adding mine to yours. Now is the time for Michael to learn about the power of prayer and his place as our brother. Strengh in numbers, right?

 

[dulcissima]

Ana:

Scott and Kimberly did not abstain. In fact, Christ used the birth of one their children to help Kimberly on her journey TOWARDS the Catholic Church. End result … God’s victory, as well as a tremendous blessing towards the ecumenical movement of our Church…

Not from a “holier than thou, you are not good enough to be married to me, so I am leaving you” but through prayer and a Godly commitment to his wife and his marriage.

Ana, while I agree with nearly all that you have posted, I want to point out that their situation is not like that of Scott and Kimberly Hahn. Because the Hahn’s were not Catholics at the time of their marriage, their marriage was considered valid by the church.

This issue has been answered by the apologists on this site in the past. In this situation, where a Catholic has married someone outside of the church, their marriage is not considered valid, and in order to participate in the sacraments, they would need to refrain from marital relations until such time as they had their marriage convalidated.

 

[Michael-Peter]

To all: “Thank you… sincerely.”

I don’t think I can express how much it means to me that you cared enough to share some time out of your days to communicate with me and each other. Thank you.

I attended Mass this afternoon; it was a simple celebration… I think it’s mainly for people on their lunch breaks who work downtown. And I reflected on a reoccurring theme from many of your posts… that I need to PRAY! So, I came in early, sat as close as I could to the Blessed Sacrament, and prayed. That, coupled with your prayers, I think has helped to make me feel much better – so, “thank you” again.

I have spoken with a Priest on more than one occasion – but I’ve never heard of “radical sanation” before. I’m very surprised… and very glad to hear about this. It is something I will look into immediately. If this is a possibility for me, I will definitely pursue it… though it is not my first choice. I would much prefer to have our marriage (which I hold extremely dear) blessed by the Church – with my wife’s approval and support. But, if I look into this option (radical sanation)… and present it to her just to let her know where I am coming from… maybe she will consider discussing a convalidation.

I was not offended by the suggestion of an annulment, it has regrettably (I can’t tell you how heartbreakingly) come across my mind more than once – though I’ve never mentioned it to my wife. In each case though, thinking about it (for even a moment) only strengthened my resolve that an annulment or “divorce” is not an option for me… ever. I understand why someone might suggest I consider it – but, I love my wife more than anything (in this world. ) and have every intention of honoring my vows.

My wife does not object to having our children receive the sacrament of Baptism, this gives me a lot of hope. She (very) strongly objects to the idea that our children might “call” themselves “Catholic” though. Which is a feeling I can not relate to well… but I am trying to understand. Also, she has gone to Mass with me a few times… though I know she is very uncomfortable (which I can relate to, as I’m becoming more and more uncomfortable going to the Baptist services with her)… but, this also gives me hope. I do not wish to “convert” her, but I would love it if she did come home! I am not actively making an effort with that being my primary goal though. But, I agree with another point many of you have mentioned and am (not a little) ashamed to admit that I am not as good of a witness as I should be. I do not practice my faith NEARLY as well as I would like… very far from it. I believe you are right that I should begin there.

The biggest things on my mind and weighing me down are that I have so much to confess, so much to work on, and an (truly) painful desire for the Blessed Sacrament. But, maybe there is hope…

Thank you all very much for your advice. Thank you very much… every one of you. Sincerely. Truly.

God Bless you.

MPD

 

[Ana]

dulcissima:

Ana, while I agree with nearly all that you have posted, I want to point out that their situation is not like that of Scott and Kimberly Hahn. Because the Hahn’s were not Catholics at the time of their marriage, their marriage was considered valid by the church.

This issue has been answered by the apologists on this site in the past. In this situation, where a Catholic has married someone outside of the church, their marriage is not considered valid, and in order to participate in the sacraments, they would need to refrain from marital relations until such time as they had their marriage convalidated.

Thanks for the correction, dulcissima.

Well Michael, good luck with all, and don’t delay in getting that radical sanato thing. Our Church thinks of everything doesn’t she!

 

[RyanL]

Michael-Peter:

But, if I look into this option (radical sanation)… and present it to her just to let her know where I am coming from… maybe she will consider discussing a convalidation.

I have no idea what approach you want to try when discussing this with her, but here is some info:

If you want to received the Eucharist before you have a validated marriage, you must abstain from sexual relations and go to confession.

A convalidation takes about 5 minutes and can be done (basically) whenever.
A sanatio takes about a month, sometimes more, sometimes less.

(This is why people always talk about a convalidation and almost never talk about a sanatio.)

You should abstain until you have a valid marriage (you should talk to your priest about this, but mine said to abstain).

A convalidation is simply a renewing of your vows, after which point your marriage will become sacramental (valid). It’s an “I do” / “I do” kind of thing, which she’s already done once before (so it shouldn’t be a big deal, but she may take the “what, mine wasn’t good enough?” approach). Bring a marriage license, photo ID, (possibly a birth certificate?) and a baptismal certificate. The priest will tell you what he needs if you call for an appointment.

A sanatio means that you have always been sacramentally (validly) married by means of an ipso facto declaration (it’s good to have “the keys”). If she’s “heels in the dirt” against the convalidation, you should pursue this avenue.

God Bless,
RyanL

 

[Peace-bwu]

Michael,

First, Welcome to Catholic Answers! You will learn alot here and be able to chat and ask questions which will help you to find the Catholic Companionship you wish you could share with your wife.

You probably feel very alone and are regretting alot of things. You are not alone. There are many people here who are going through similar circumstances.

You are going through an adult conversion. Although it may feel like a burden, rejoice because that means you are being called by the Holy Spirit to grow in and understand your faith. Guilt is hightly underrated in our culture, we are taught that it is not an acceptable or productive feeling. There is such a thing as healthy guilt, if we allow it to be a catylist for change. It is a sense of longing to have a good relationship with God. Unhealthy guilt would be to take the guilt and say to yourself "God would never forgive me, God could never forgive me. I may as well give up I will never repair my relationship with God (you get the picture.) The forgiveness is already there, God is just wanting that response from you, the acceptance of His forgiveness, The desire you have for the sacraments is a huge spiritual gift. Jesus loves you so much and wants so much for you to partake of His love and life that he has found his wandering sheep and is already taking you into His loving arms. Know this, that God isn’t punishing you, you are simply seeing the result of your choices in life. We don’t realize when we are spiritually immature that every choice we make will bring us closer or further away from Christ.

You have already responded to God’s call. Many people hear the call and block it out. You don’t have a hardened heart. You have taken the first step to repair your relationship with God. God knows your every thought, He knows your struggle and the more pain and struggle you go through, the more you show your love for God, your desire for the sacraments.

Concentrate on strengthening your prayer life. If you don’t have a rosary or know how to pray it, get one and a booklet and start praying the rosary and going to perpetual adoration. When Jesus was dying on the cross he gave His Mother to us. Her only desire is to guide us to her Son. Jesus knew that we needed a mother. Ask her to wrap you in her mantle and lead you closer to her son. Ask her to pray with you for Grace in your marriage.

Your wife is probably frighteneed and frustrated. She has been taught lies about the Catholic Church and so try to put yourself in her shoes and be patient. If she sees a man who is in love with Jesus and serious about being in full Communion with the Catholic Church, who treats her just as Jesus would, she may soften her heart. Rather than push discussions, get some books on apologetics and read them. Perhaps when you are not around curiosity will get the better of her and she will take a peek and learn answers to questions she may have.

I am in support of marriage. If she should never come to terms with this and decides that she doestn’ want to deal with it, adn wants to end the marriage, know that you would be able to get an annulment. I am not saying to give up on your marriage, but a marriage take two living with Christ as the center. You can’t make others do what you want them to do or even what they should.

You sound very concerned about having Children. Pray about this and consider being abstinate for awhile, until you are at peace with having children. I am guessing that you should remain abstinate and go to confession, explain everything to the priest and ask about validation. Pray and ask God to give you an answer about your marriage and future children. You already know the sad reality of what it would be like trying to raise them as both Catholic and Baptist. It would not be a good situation.

Hopefully there is a nice priest you can talk to, and keep chatting with us here. If you talk to a priest and his advice doesn’t seem to be inline with Cathoic teachings, ask us what we think, and seek another priest.

 

[Peace-bwu]

I am glad to hear that you have a strong resolve to keep your marriage strong and healthy and not consider divorce an “option.”

I would like to recommend a book for you that you and your wife can read together so that you can prepare for the future Baptism of your children. It is very well written yet an easy read.

Sacraments In Scripture *Salvation History Made Present *by Tim Gray. It will help her to see that the Sacraments are not against Biblical teaching and can be found there. It gives all the Biblical references for the Sacraments.

I had the inspiration that you could have a discussion with her about finding your common ground and sharing in daily prayer and some scripture reading daily if possible. Look up the daily Mass readings and read them together. Find what you have in common and if you can get a few question /answer books such as Where is that in the Bible by Patrick Madrid or other similar Catholic Apologetics Book so that as she has questions or concerns she can look them up at her leisure it may really help her come to terms with some of the beliefs, finding Biblical explanations rather than fearing that it is simply “man made” … even if she doesn’t agree with the answer she may at least find some validity and not be worried about your soul, etc. Continue to help her understand how hurtful and angry it makes you feel when the preacher at her church makes false accusations and is disrespectful about the Catholic Church, so that she understands that you are trying to be fair to her, but that his behavior is difficult for you to endure.

God Bless you… He already has and will continue to God knows your heart and must be very pleased that you are willing to endure discomfort to follow His Will.

It might also help you both to know that when a Christian enters the Catholic Church it is not so much of a “conversion” as it is coming to the fullness of Truth, the completeness of the Christian faith that Jesus gave to us, especially when it comes to the Sacraments. We are all in a constant state of conversion toward Christ, whether we are Catholic or not. I hope that makes sense.

 

[KatieD]

Michael,

I truly understand the difficulty you are going through. I am currently awaiting the convalidation of my marriage (I married outside the Church to a divorced Mormon, so my case is a bit different than yours). Hopefully, my wait won’t be too much longer! I am experiencing the pain that you are of not being able to receive the Eucharist - prayer is the only thing that can help you cope with this. It sounds like your case would be resolved much more quickly than mine.

My inlaws are now fundamentalists, and they have very negative opinions about the Catholic Church - the comments have caused some very hurt feelings, especially since they are so misinformed. And you’re right, listening to attacks on the Church, especially from a preacher, is a terrible experience. My husband used to share some of those opinions because that’s what he was taught. The two of us had many arguments about religion. (He was good enough to agree that we could raise the kids Catholic, and they are now college aged and practicing Catholics.) When I decided I needed to learn more about my Catholic faith, somehow his opinions began to change! As he saw me studying, watching EWTN and listening to Relevant Radio, he really took it seriously and told me that he was very happy that I wanted this to become an important part of our lives. He even agreed to meet with our priest to discuss a convalidation.

I’d learn something and sometimes discuss it with him. He is not at the point where he is ready to convert, however, he and I are watching a series on the Catechism (which he purchased) and he actually enjoys it and says he hasn’t yet heard anything with which he disagrees. I have been praying that God will lead us in the direction He wants, and I believe that He is doing so.

I believe praying about this and really trying to live the faith the best you can will help more than arguing. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Lillith]

You are not alone! The only difference in our situation is that I determined that my children would be raised Catholic, and my DH was a lukewarm Baptist.

Back off with the fighting…but buy books and leave them lying around innocently…pray a lot too…continue on these boards and your wife might get curious…

As hard as it might be, because I have experienced the fire that newfound faith puts in your heart…concentrate on your wife and your relationship while you are together…what has happened is that you have made religion your “trigger argument”. Every couple has a trigger argument…something that when brought up automatically produces hostility, from the last argument…and the conversation gets heated quickly…starting off where the last fight ended. Stop that cycle a.s.a.p.

I got my husband involved in things that he loves to do…food pantry…working at the picnic (he is very social)…social issues that protestants and Catholics both hate such as abortion are good topics of discussion…

Anyway…six years later and my husband has made up a new word for what he says when people ask what religion he is…he says he is

BATHOLIC

Have patience most of all…pray for patience. I go to church with a couple that have been married twenty years. The husband is the “batholic”…It is a long process

God Bless You!!!

 

[the-3rd-parent]

You aren’t a bad Catholic. Here is my advice. Find a good priest to talk to about figuring out how to get around these issues and to get you back united to the Church.

A lot of people go through this. Dr. Scott Hahn converted to Catholicism and when he was going through the process, his protestant friends were advicing his wife to divorce him, that it was a just reason. When he was received into the Church, he had a great experience with tears of joy as he was about to receive the Eucharist for the first time, and while his wife loved going through the bible at Mass when it was time for communion, she felt as if he were leaving Christianity for some pagan faith.

Pray for your wife on a daily basis and ask for God’s assistance.

 

[jebojora]

Hi Michael

I know how discouraging this can be. I am a convert to Catholicism. I was raised Methodist, but stopped going to church shortly after being married.

I divorced 10 years and 2 kids later.

I met and married a man in a civil ceremony.

Two years later I came into the Catholic Church. The most wonderful day of my life! My husband is not on the same page…he’s not even in the same book! He is close to an athiest…although he’ll stop short of saying he doesn’t believe in God. I ask him to come to Mass sometimes…I don’t push…I just offer. I pray for him constantly.

We had our marriage blessed by the Catholic Church just this past May! My husband did that for me, but said it meant nothing to him.

It’s true that at least your wife is a Christian. Instead of focusing on your differences, focus on the things that you agree on. There are many.

By the way, if you were married in a Christian ceremony…I think (I could be wrong) that the Catholic Church recognizes your marriage. It does not recognize the civil ceremony but it does recognize a Christian marriage by a pastor, as a sacrament. Which would mean as long as you go to confession, you should be able to receive. Check with a “good” Priest on that.

Pray and pray and pray! God Bless you and your wife!

 

[Ana]

Lillith:

Back off with the fighting…but buy books and leave them lying around innocently…pray a lot too…continue on these boards and your wife might get curious…

!

I cleared out all the books from the bathroom, and placed a Catholic Church Has the Answer booklet on the back of the potty. Out of sheer desperation for SOMETHING to read at that important “thinking time,” he picked it up. I also said a Rosary for him, placed a Green Scapular under his side of the bed, and did a novena to St. Joseph (for six months!). Mind you, I never said a word to my husband. One day, he came out of the potty while I was washing dishes and said, “Just so you know I will NEVER be Catholic!!”
“Fine” I said, and continued with the dishes. Then his eyes filled with tears and he said, “But if I ever did, St. Joseph would be my patron Saint,” and walked out of the room.

It is now five years later … He IS Catholic, his patron Saint is Saint Joseph, and we are expecting our fourth and are naming him … JOSEPH!!

Pray … pray … and be very very quiet!

 

[LSK]

You are not the worst Catholic in the world…no no no. You are just like so many of us…you are on a journey Home to Rome, and that can only mean good things for you.

The toughest part for me on my journey home was learning to trust that even the bumps in the road were there for a reason. You have to start building up your ‘faith muscles’ so to speak, and the advice you have been given to pray, pray, pray is the best advice to facillitate your journey.

Start with yourself. Become more knowledgeable and deepen your prayer life. Ask Our Lady to intercede for you on your behalf, that the grace you received at baptism be strengthenned and the love your wife has for Jesus continue to grow.

You are in my prayers!

 

[Island_Oak]

I’m no perfect Catholic, nor do I try and play one on these boards, but if you’re willing, I have a few blunt observations to share.

First, you sound as if you are taking out some personal frustrations with your own practice of the faith on your wife. Frankly, no human being is capable of coming between you and your God. You have every opportunity to pursue the practice of your faith as fully as you are willing to commit. The fact that she does not embrace it as you do, join in or accompany you is not a roadblock to developing your own mature spirituality. Study, read, pray, attend mass and find a spiritual advisor with whom you can wrestle through the issues of faith that trouble you. Gracefully accept the fact that your wife is not the person for this job.

The anger, resentment and frustration you reference are all emotions of powerlessness. You need to probe why you feel you need your wife’s approval, support, permission or validation in order to pursue your faith. While I can certainly see why it is desireable and preferable to do this in concert, it is not necessary for her to participate or even support your pursuit of your faith. Even if you were both pactitioners of the same faith, no two individuals–married or not–will ever have exactly the same level of commitment, obedience and spirituality in their faith and inevitably experience ebbs and flows in their practice and reliance on faith in their daily lives. You need to develop a firm foundation on your own.

Finally, your new found zeal for the faith and its practice sound as if it’s become a vehicle for badgering, nagging and criticizing your wife instead of uniting you. Your vocation and sacred vow is to be a devoted, loving husband who is committed to lead his wife to eternal life with God. This is best accomplished by modeling the love Christ had for his Church–which means fulfilling your daily obligations in an exemplary, loving way. It also means making allowances, having patience and not getting derailed when the practice of your faith gets an imperfect reception from others . Not everyone is capable of the great zeal, active practice or reverent obedience that the Catholic faith requires. Let your wife oberve and really feel how the practice of your faith transforms you into the most loving, joyful, peaceful, calm, self-assured man she knows. It may just inspire some curiosity in her to learn more.

Best wishes…you are dealing with some valid frustrations. Perhaps God is calling you now more than ever before in your life because He knows you are capable of not only reforming your life, but leading your wife and children to Him.