I am worried about confession

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JesusIsMySavior3

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Hi everyone. I am about to take confession and it’s my first one. I am scared about penance because what if he tells me to do something that I can’t do. For example, lets say I stole a cookie from my mom then he tells me to go buy her a new one. What if I don’t have enough money… That was an example. But My point is when he gives me the act of penance is it something like community service or is it like something different. Please help me on this I am really worried about confession and I feel like the priest will judge me.
 
JesusIsMySavior3 said:
Hi everyone. I am about to take confession and it’s my first one. I am scared about penance because what if he tells me to do something that I can’t do. For example, lets say I stole a cookie from my mom then he tells me to go buy her a new one. What if I don’t have enough money… That was an example. But My point is when he gives me the act of penance is it something like community service or is it like something different. Please help me on this I am really worried about confession and I feel like the priest will judge me.
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Every penance I have been given were prayers to say.
 
As a convert, I am very much accustomed to confession anxiety.
In my experience, the penance is almost always prayers to say-- a certain number of Hail Marys, a decade of the rosary, or maybe the Angelus. Or, once I got as a penance to read Psalm 23.
My advice is to take a print out with the exact ritual on it, so you don’t freeze up…
And, as with all things, the more you do it, the easier it gets!
 
The penance is usually prayers. On the off chance that the priest gives you a penance that you do not feel you can complete, it is perfectly acceptable to tell him that and ask for a different penance.
 
“Father, I cannot afford to buy cookies” would be the reply (although your priest would not tell you to buy your mom a cookie as that might reveal your sin to her).

Priests are so filled with joy when people come to confession, what I hear most from priests is how they are so humbled to have the honor of being a confessor.

Your penance will likely be reading Scripture, prayers, etc.
 
I was once asked to recite a prayer I didn’t know - Father understood and had me say just the Our Father and two Hail Marys instead. Penances generally involve prayer or reading Scripture, but I suppose it varies from priest to priest.
 
First thing we tell our RCIA candidates when they go for their first confession is to tell Father that this is your first confession. They are overjoyed when they have someone who is discerning becoming a Catholic and going through their first confession. They will help you. Trust in the Holy Spirit that you will be guided and given help.

Many times a priest will do exactly what others have suggested here. Some other times I have been asked to do something charitable for another. This can be anything and you will be able to discern this. It might simply be while in traffic, you pause and let someone pull out onto a busy street. It might be holding a door open for someone, etc.

Just remember, you penance has nothing to do with forgiveness. Once he absolves you of your sins you are forgiven. If, for some reason or another, you find that you just cant do the penance the priest has given you, just bring that back to confession next time and let the Father know that you were unable to do the penance and why. He will work with you and guide you.

God bless!
 
Try not to worry, these worries are temptations. Ask God to help you and strengthen you.
The priest won’t judge you he’s heard it all before and he also goes to confession. You can tell him it’s your first time and you are nervous. It’s also extremely unlikely he’ll give you a penance like the one you suggest. Just be honest with him. Its Jesus you are talking to really. God bless you
 
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From my experience, all of my penances have been either prayer (if you don’t know one of the prayers you can always search the Catholic internet for it) or something that anyone can do no matter how old or young, no matter how wealthy or poor one might be. Confession anxiety is very normal. No need to worry, there is a 99.9% chance that the priest has heard all your sins before. The priest won’t judge and cannot tell anyone else of anyone’s sins.
 
The penance, as others have indicted, are reasonable. Once, I was told to tell my mother and wife how much I love them - to show them true appreciation. I was once asked to read part of scripture. Another time, it was a prayer. Never has it been something I cannot reasonably complete. As others have also indicated, if you cannot do it, let your priest know. He will certainly work with you.
 
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God gives us all the graces necessary for us. Thank God! And the priest accordingly is working through Christ for our benefit and salvation. He is there to assist us on our path to sanctity. He will not give you an impossible penance. And as others have said, if he gives you a penance you cannot do, you simply tell him. I was told to say a particular prayer, I told him I didn’t know it, as either he could give me a copy, or sign me something different, which he did. You should do your penance as soon as possible, ideally in the church as soon as you come out. In my case, I did the alternative prayer, but later looked up and printed off the original prayer so I knew it.

I saß once assigned a difficult penance that I had to do for 6 days straight. It was so hard, I do it for 4 days, mess up, and have to start from scratch. I nearly went back to confession and admit I couldn’t do it, but then I thought, I really ought to be able to do this, and if I want half a chance of heaven I’d better be able to! It literally took me weeks, and was very humbling! But I’m ancient and this is the one penance that wasn’t just a few prayers. It was good for me. That priest knew which buttons to press! I still try to do this now. In fact, I guess it should be my daily rule of life and the fact it isn’t shows how much I still need to grow in charity. 😔

Finally, I love the sacrament of reconciliation /penance /confession so so much. It is an incredible blessing and will really help you grow. Go without fear and enjoy our Good Lord’s superabundant mercy and forgiveness! 🙂
 
I just completed my first reconciliation, which went well. Honestly, I was so worried about the confession part, I completely forgot I would be assigned penance at the end. I was assigned a good deed to do for someone, perhaps an older person. Also, the priest was very kind and helped me through the process and did not seem judgemental or surprised by anything I said. He also shared some great insights on several things. I’m glad I went and I wish I hadn’t put it off for so long.
 
Hello

I was very worried about confession when I went for the first time in a long period…but it is a wonderful experience, and the freedom one feels being absolved from sin is astounding.

If you don’t have enough money then tell Father and he’ll give you another penance. There’s no shame in saying so, as you’ll be behind a screen and he almost certainly will never know who you are.

Most of the time the penance is a few recitations of the Our Father or the Hail Mary.

Sometimes, my penance is to light a votive candle, which usually costs $1. Because it is a penance, Father always says I don’t have to pay for it (although it is nice to do so anyway).

A priest would never give you a penance if he understood that you could not reasonably complete it.

May the Lord be with you,

catholic03.

IC XC NIKA.
 
Just to mirror some of the above answers - my Priest has always given me a penance which is “just right” for my confessed sin. Many times/most, it is along the line to pray for the person who I’ve had trouble with. I’ve never had any penance other than prayer and they suggested doing the penance right after confession, otherwise it’s easy to forget. After three years, I still take my little pamphlet in with me as a cheat sheet. The Priest is there to help you - not make you nervous or to judge.
 
If the penance is something you cannot do or don’t understand you can say so. Remember that the priest is a person trying to help you. If you forget what to say or do, just say “father, I have forgotten what to do next” and he will help you.
 
Most of the time penance is a prayer or two. A little while ago (my priest has one hour of confession and adoration on a Saturday) I was given the penance of just telling God my worries in front of the tabernacle.
 
Most priests give very obvious penances like: Pray 3 Hail Mary´s, pray 1 Our Father, pray a decade of the rosary, etc.

I´ve been to so many confessions during my years as a Catholic and only a few times have I been given different penances than the once I mentioned.
 
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The absolute worst penance I was given was to build a model (think plastic model airplane or ship). I was struggling with patience at the time… well, I still do.

So, I went to the hobby shop and looked at all the models that they had there. Would I settle on a simple airplane, ship, car, etc? Heck no… I had to buy a ship in a bottle. After about a week of that, I finally lost it and used some not so nice words, and threw the thing out of frustration. I went back to the same priest and told him what happened, and I’ll never forget what he said. “Oh brother… I didn’t tell you to build a ship in a bottle… just something simple. Now go say 3 hail Mary’s and 3 Our Fathers!”.

Moral of the story… don’t make this harder than it needs to be. Jesus loves you!
 
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