I asked a 5 or 6 year old boy to be quiet during mass

[ELROD]

And an 8 year old girl. They were being very loud and bratty and the mother was just sitting there doing absolutely nothing. I think I tried to speak to them in a nice way, but, I doubt if it came off that way. It seemed to have little to no positive effect. I felt bad after I said anything and I feel bad now, but, it was just ridiculous. I just thought, at the time, if the mother won’t even try to get them to behave, maybe if I speak to them, that would do it. I am not intolerant of crying babies or whatever, but, this was so blatant and well, maybe you guys will tell me how great it was that I spoke up. Just kidding

 

[adamhovey1988]

At that age, they should know. But, when I had my (at the time) two year old niece with me and the guy in front of me told me to “take her outside”, that was a little messed up. How is she going to get used to it if I do that? She’s six now, and is fine at church.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It’s unfortunate that a lot of parents just act oblivious to what their kid is doing. A mom was at the Mass last night with her kid of about 4 or 5 who was yelling out during the homily and climbing on the pews. Mom didn’t seem concerned. I noticed the lady sitting in front of the kid waited for the homily to finish, then moved herself to a pew some distance away on the other side of the church.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

And an 8 year old girl. They were being very loud and bratty and the mother was just sitting there doing absolutely nothing. I think I tried to speak to them in a nice way, but, I doubt if it came off that way. It seemed to have little to no positive effect. I felt bad after I said anything and I feel bad now, but, it was just ridiculous. I just thought, at the time, if the mother won’t even try to get them to behave, maybe if I speak to them, that would do it. I am not intolerant of crying babies or whatever, but, this was so blatant and well, maybe you guys will tell me how great it was that I spoke up. Just kidding

This is complicated.

Parents don’t parent. It is an issue.

However, people ARE very cruel. My infant fussed–not even cried—just made a little mewing sound common in newborns and I was told by a gaggle of biddies that she belonged in the church’s daycare. Disgusting.

My 11yo niece is mildly autistic. She looks normal. She has even helped alter serve. For some reason that seemed to keep her focus. But she has no sense of time…literally. If she’s sitting next to me at Mass and thinks of something she feels is urgent–or out of place–she needs to tell me. There have been bad masses where she’s talked nonstop. I try and coach her, try and help her, but NOTHING. She is suffering from a mental process she cannot control. Her best friend has diagnosed OCD. Going to Mass with the two of them is an exercise in sanctity. They have both been called out by strangers for behavior they have no control over. One elderly woman tried to rip the hand sanitizer out of my niece’s friends hands.

It’s hard to judge…and it’s devistating to be judged.

In this case, being that you had no children, I would have whispered to the parent, “Looks like the kids are having a hard time today. That must be frustrating. Anything I can do?”

 

[tomarin]

I guess the only worse thing would be no kids coming to mass.

 

[nodito]

I have 12-year-old sister-in-law with developmental issues. She appears normal and can speaks eloquently, but she behaves like the typical five year old. She knows Mass is important to her mom and so often uses it as an opportunity to act out. I know it has been a constant source of stress and embarrassment for my MIL.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I have 12-year-old sister-in-law with developmental issues. She appears normal and can speaks eloquently, but she behaves like the typical five year old. She knows Mass is important to her mom and so often uses it as an opportunity to act out. I know it has been a constant source of stress and embarrassment for my MIL.

I wish I could give your sister in law a hug. How terrible that her MIL is stressed and embarassed and not as supportive as she could be.

 

[misstherese]

Kind of off topic, but I have serious anxiety when I take my niece to mass because sometimes she cannot be quiet (which is pretty common in 4 year olds) and I really wish the parish I go to had a cry room so that she can get acquainted with the mass (learning to be quiet, when to kneel, when to sit, what to say, etc.) without disrupting it.

Anyway, perhaps the children don’t go to mass often and don’t know the rules very well? I think you did the right thing by speaking to them. Though it might not have had a positive outcome, you still did your part.

I think all parents should try their best to teach their children the appropriate way to act at mass; I think it can help them to have a certain respect for what’s taking place.

 

[daverod]

You trying to keep ‘order’ in The Church is a good thing. You should not feel bad for doing a good thing. The Apostle tells to keep order in the gatherings and also to keep order within the home. Because if we can’t keep good order in our own home, how will be think of keeping good order in a public gathering, or Ecclesia? So don’t feel bad if the Ecclesia you attend does not want to keep to what The Apostle of Christ has written for the benefit and safety of The Gathering/Assembling. But maybe you can ‘warn’ the Preacher that if such things are not corrected immediately, that worse sorts of ‘persons’ might creep in seeking whom to completely devour… Just as The Apostles warned of ‘false teachers’, they also warned about false ‘sheep’. Those who disguise themselves as ‘sheep’ but inwardly they are as ravening wolves seeking to completely devour. So be on guard and if possible help your other brothers and sisters in Christ also have the security of ‘guarding’ themselves, IF the Leader of the Church isn’t going to guard…

The head of the Congregation or Pastor or Leader, is to keep the sheep, Christ’s disciples. If they fail to keep the sheep that Christ has put under their care and supervision, they will be held in greater Judgment. And if certain ‘sheep’ should have fallen away due to the insincerity of the Pastor, one who ‘pastors’ the pasture, then all they would need to do is ask The Good Shepherd, Christ Jesus, to lead them to the proper place and to keep them in HIS pasture which is Sure and True and where you can have Assurance.

Do not let any person tell you that keeping order in the Ecclesia is a ‘bad’ thing… In fact, IT IS NEEDED.

Also, if you should encounter one of these ‘false sheeps’, do not be afraid of any ‘demonic’ - like powers you think they might have. There are no Powers of demonism. Demons and Devils are all man made ideas that arose out of the hearts of men… Men who were made upright but have followed after their many inventions.

Ecclesiastes 7:29
“Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions.”

Putting any worth to ‘demonic and devilish’ possibilities, such as supernatural powers and doings, is ADDING to your fear and to YOUR downfall. Don’t believe in those things which are not true and those things which can bring you down to your fall. Such are the wolves in sheeps’ clothing… The only way they can do is devour you with their lies and assumptions of The Holy Bible and with their ‘interpretation’ of The Holy Bible… And if they want to be really stupid, they might physically ‘prove’ themselves, to themselves, as a threat. The Holy Bible by itself cannot be brought down… It is only through man’s inventions that The Holy Bible begins to get smeared and begins to become questioned.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

You trying to keep ‘order’ in The Church is a good thing. You should not feel bad for doing a good thing. The Apostle tells to keep order in the gatherings and also to keep order within the home. Because if we can’t keep good order in our own home, how will be think of keeping good order in a public gathering, or Ecclesia? So don’t feel bad if the Ecclesia you attend does not want to keep to what The Apostle of Christ has written for the benefit and safety of The Gathering/Assembling. But maybe you can ‘warn’ the Preacher that if such things are not corrected immediately, that worse sorts of ‘persons’ might creep in seeking whom to completely devour… Just as The Apostles warned of ‘false teachers’, they also warned about false ‘sheep’. Those who disguise themselves as ‘sheep’ but inwardly they are as ravening wolves seeking to completely devour. So be on guard and if possible help your other brothers and sisters in Christ also have the security of ‘guarding’ themselves, IF the Leader of the Church isn’t going to guard…

The head of the Congregation or Pastor or Leader, is to keep the sheep, Christ’s disciples. If they fail to keep the sheep that Christ has put under their care and supervision, they will be held in greater Judgment. And if certain ‘sheep’ should have fallen away due to the insincerity of the Pastor, one who ‘pastors’ the pasture, then all they would need to do is ask The Good Shepherd, Christ Jesus, to lead them to the proper place and to keep them in HIS pasture which is Sure and True and where you can have Assurance.

The mistake, I think, was talking to the children, rather than offering a supportive hint to the adult about the children’s behavior.

 

[daverod]

When a person goes into a Church and does some physical dangerous thing to the other lives and claims that the ‘devil’ made them do it, or they ‘serve the devil’, they are doing nothing but lying to themselves, just as any Father of Lies would teach. They do those harmful things all out of THEIR OWN DESIRES. Not because someone or something made them do it but because they want to prove themselves loyal to some idea of ‘The Devil’, that they want to be just as ‘bad’ as.

These persons are not completely mentally there. They are not secure… And that is ONE benefit and blessings True Christians in Christ have… Their minds and mental faculties are made more ‘sure and complete’ and more full of Goodness…

Many ‘normal’ everyday persons, who do not believe or have Christ in their lives, will not have those ‘good’ mental traits as the believers do. They do not appreciate punctuality. They do not appreciate order. They do not appreciate being loyal to family. Their minds are becoming ‘debilitated’ and brought down lower and lower into ‘hell’ which is ‘below’…

Proverbs 15:24
" The way of life is above to the wise, that he may depart from hell beneath."

Good things are above, Christ/God/Heaven, and the wise acknowledge these and so they depart from the ‘hell’ they were in before they came to this realization.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

When a person goes into a Church and does some physical dangerous thing to the other lives and claims that the ‘devil’ made them do it, or they ‘serve the devil’, they are doing nothing but lying to themselves, just as any Father of Lies would teach. They do those harmful things all out of THEIR OWN DESIRES. Not because someone or something made them do it or not because they want to prove themselves loyal to some idea of ‘The Devil’, that they want to be just as ‘bad’ as.

One address disruptive children, I’m not arguing that at all. What I’m saying is that it would be MUCH better to address the parent in a kind and considerate way, especially when the children are considered below the age of reason.

Ther are many legitimate “disruptive” things in Mass. Like some inordinately loud oxygen nasal tubes or someone with a verbal tic or hiccups.

 

[RandomAlias]

The pastor at my parish has said he loves to hear kids at any Mass.

 

[ELROD]

Well, what’s done is done and I am not happy with myself for speaking to them or a lot of other things for that matter. They were just literally right under my nose, as I was kneeling, and actually they are plenty old enough to be doing the same. It was not something I thought about, or at least, not at that particular time. This wasn’t a one time incident. And, God forgive me,
the woman acts practically brain dead when she is at Mass. I have observed them, unfortunately, long enough to know that the children do not pay one bit of attention to her, even on the rare occasion when she lamely tried to get them to mind. For sure, I will never speak up again as I only make myself miserable. And, so it goes.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

YES! My former parish had a nursery and the priest basically all but said pre-first communion children belong there.

No, they have a baptismal right to be at Mass.

My current pastor is a wonderful man. He said that if any child escapes from the pew, so long as Mass allows, he (or the decon or the altar servers) will pick them up and give them back to their parent so they will not come to any harm should they run onto the altar. He said he can never forget the priest who did this when his very lively niece was a toddler sandwiched between a couple (not much) older kids and twin infants.

 

[RandomAlias]

maybe you guys will tell me how great it was that I spoke up.

You did all right. You know, another approach would be to draw the child’s attention to what’s going on in the sanctuary, whether it is the Scripture reading, or the Eucharistic Prayer, or just the Crucifix. It probably wont work right then, but it will plant a seed.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I think a school aged child is different to a baby or toddler, their teachers would correct them if they behaved like that at school so it’s not an unreasonable thing to do.

Not that I would ever dare say anything myself though. I once went to a parish where these two school age boys would talk and play loudly throughout the mass while their parents did nothing.

 

[nodito]

I wish I could give your sister in law a hug. How terrible that her MIL is stressed and embarassed and not as supportive as she could be.

My MIL is working incredibly hard to take care of and teach and show love to a difficult adopted child. She is not the problem.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Xanthippe_Voorhees:

I wish I could give your sister in law a hug. How terrible that her MIL is stressed and embarassed and not as supportive as she could be.

My MIL is working incredibly hard to take care of and teach and show love to a difficult adopted child. She is not the problem.

It’s still too bad that she is embarrassed by the behavior of a child who has little to no control of their behavior. Hard on her, hard on the child.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You did all right.

Yeah, as long as you weren’t mean or nasty, if kids are invading your personal space you have a right to say something.

As for offering to help the mom, I have mixed feelings about that. If she’s momentarily overwhelmed with a crying baby and active little ones, it might help. If she just comes to church week after week and let’s her kids run rampant, nobody really wants to be responsible for that. Especially since as several have pointed out, in this day and age the kids might have special needs that the helper isn’t familiar with.