I asked a 5 or 6 year old boy to be quiet during mass

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Tis_Bearself said:
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RandomAlias:
You did all right.
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Yeah, as long as you weren’t mean or nasty, if kids are invading your personal space you have a right to say something.

As for offering to help the mom, I have mixed feelings about that. If she’s momentarily overwhelmed with a crying baby and active little ones, it might help. If she just comes to church week after week and let’s her kids run rampant, nobody really wants to be responsible for that. Especially since as several have pointed out, in this day and age the kids might have special needs that the helper isn’t familiar with.
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One would still do better speaking to a parent than to a child who is below the age of reason…a kind word to a parent will carry more weight than a frustrated word to a little child.

Once you get over the age of reason…9 or 10…if the child is really being disruptive it would best to give a “redirect” or word of. “Wow, isn’t the reading/gospel/homily great?” Or, “Oh it’s the elevation, look at Jesus.” Rather than a “Be Quiet!”
 
ELROD said:
I am pretty sure I will just “grin and bear it”.
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Consider it a mortification and offer it up. But I’m with you. I am continually flabbergasted at the number of parents who seem to have no idea of the existence of the thing known as the “cry room”.
 
WHAT you did was in charity and the RIGHT thing to do

God Bless you

Patrick
 
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Everybody’s a critic.
 
I don’t care what they say some of you Catholics are pretty darn alright! Thank you for all the help!
 
That girl… cover those bare arms in church!

(Just kidding, but there is another thread on that…)
 
Everybody has a different tolerance level towards what they consider appropriate or inappropriate, so I’m not sure what’s to be said about the original post without being there. One person’s “over the the top” isn’t another person’s over the top. Kid’s behavior is usually white noise for me, but worst case scenario I would just discretely scoot away.

I’ve been an elementary teacher so it takes quite a bit to rub me the wrong way. I’ve been in public situations where a child is simply being sweet and lovable, and the parent feels the need to quiet them; maybe because they’ve had… individuals… in the past criticize them and so they’ve become defensive.
 
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To be completely honest it’s kind of silly to ask a little kid to be quite because they don’t really understand what’s going on. Leave them home until they understand what reverance means.
 
Haha, you had every right to talk to them.
I don’t know their mother’s situation, but I know a few mothers that are just so exhausted that they don’t know what to do about their kid’s behavior anymore. Which I personally understand… kids can be really exhausting to try and look after…

And it’s not like you were trying to be mean to them.
 
garegin_asatrya said:
To be completely honest it’s kind of silly to ask a little kid to be quite because they don’t really understand what’s going on. Leave them home until they understand what reverance means.
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Uggg NO!

This is the kind of attitude my former priest has.

My child is baptized. She has a RIGHT to be at Mass. She is still a toddler but has started to get the hang of things. She does an adorable “Luuu lahhhh luuuu luuuu” during the Allelulia. Yes, she misbehaves and yes, I have to sometimes remove her. But other people’s desire for a child-free Mass does not change her Baptismal RIGHT.
 
Just keep in mind that any kind of criticism of this parent from you, no matter how well-intentioned, might be enough to get her to just stay home next Sunday.
 
Well, Robert, that is one result that I will not be feeling guilty about, Thank you Jesus. This was not a recent incident. Many weeks have passed with, at first, somewhat an escalation in bad behavior, but, with guilt and remorse heavy on my heart, I kept the old pie hole zipped up. The escalation I mentioned first began by them choosing to sit in our beloved pew for about 3 or 4 weeks. We just sat in the next available pew. When that failed to get the desired response from us, the 8 year old girl started sitting by herself in that location. We remained stoic and by the always way, offered them the “sign of peace” if we were close enough. After 3 or 4 weeks of that I guess they got bored and drifted off to who knows where, but, they haven’t been at Mass for a month or so, I have lost track of exactly how long, but, time flies when we are sitting in our beloved location.😍
 
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ELROD said:
somewhat an escalation in bad behavior, but, with guilt and remorse heavy on my heart, I kept the old pie hole zipped up. The escalation I mentioned first began by them choosing to sit in our beloved pew for about 3 or 4 weeks. We just sat in the next available pew. When that failed to get the desired response from us, the 8 year old girl started sitting by herself in that location. We remained stoic and by the always way, offered them the “sign of peace”
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😣

Uggg what kind of parent lets an 8yo sit by themselves? Even in a nearby pew? I get a teenager who wants freedom…but an 8yo? This should have been addressed kindly by the ushers.

Those poor children. They sound like they weren’t very well wanted.
 
adamhovey1988 said:
But, when I had my (at the time) two year old niece with me and the guy in front of me told me to “take her outside”, that was a little messed up. How is she going to get used to it if I do that? She’s six now, and is fine at church.
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Yes. Children belong in church. I take my four-year-old and my one-year-old. Sometimes the baby cries. Sometimes the older girl fidgets, although she’s getting better as she grows.

Certainly a church that forbids the use of birth control should be welcoming to children. Of course parents must do their best to ensure that their children are well-behaved, but the congregation, not to mention the celebrant, should be understanding of the short attention spans of small children. Especially babies, who have no understanding of what’s going on around them.
 
Our church has a lot of old people, rarely any kids. The embarrassing thing I found is when a kid who is old enough to know better just likes showing off with her friends. My daughter was guilty of that once. (She also pulled the ignition switch out of my car so the car would start without a key.) She was a little devil.

We don’t have a cry room in the church, although I wish we did. I would go in there and have a good cry.
 
Certainly. But parents should also be mindful of when it’s time to take the child out for a little breather. It should be a two way street. At least I think so.
 
I think if the parents are trying to keep their children quiet and teach then how to behave others are a lot more sympathetic.
 
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