I betrayed Christ

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John_of_Woking

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Help,

So there I was at work with my gay friend and another close friend and gay friend announced she is engaged. Other friend acts all joyful and then attention turned to me

Immediately i could feel myself going red. They could see I was flustered and I mumbled something like ‘Where is the ring?’?!

Then I heard the cock crow. Ok I didn’t hear the cock crow but i realised I had missed my opportunity to defend the truth and had cowed due to my immense COWARDICE.

In my rationalisation I have consoled myself by them knowing that I am a Catholic and they know where my Church stands (she does).

Now what? Help do I need to make reparation. Oh my yikes I am such a wuss.
 
How do you think you were supposed to “defend the truth?” I’m not sure I understand.
 
A casual social interaction with other people present is not the time to make some big point about your beliefs, in my view. She knows where you stand and she didn’t introduce the legislation that has allowed her to get married.

You could say ’ I expect you’re very excited’ or something bland like that. It’s stating the obvious, but not being offensive to her in public - which wouldn’t be a very Christian thing to do.
 
I don’t think you did anything wrong.

If they asked you your belief on gay marriage, then you would have had an obligation to defend the faith.

But to be in a social situation where two gay people announce their engagement- I think it would have been inappropriate at that point to start in on the religious ramifications.
 
I’m sorry; that is a really awkward situation to be in! Obviously you don’t want to say something like “congratulations,” but then you don’t want to start a fight, either. Honestly, I’m impressed that you came up with something as neutral as “Where is the ring?” on the spot!

Now that you’ve had some time to think about it, can you think of what you would rather have said? I’m curious, too–it’s good to be prepared, just in case!
 
John_of_Woking said:
Help,

So there I was at work with my gay friend and another close friend and gay friend announced she is engaged. Other friend acts all joyful and then attention turned to me

Immediately i could feel myself going red. They could see I was flustered and I mumbled something like ‘Where is the ring?’?!

Then I heard the cock crow. Ok I didn’t hear the cock crow but i realised I had missed my opportunity to defend the truth and had cowed due to my immense COWARDICE.

In my rationalisation I have consoled myself by them knowing that I am a Catholic and they know where my Church stands (she does).

Now what? Help do I need to make reparation. Oh my yikes I am such a wuss.
Click to expand...
You draw on great imagery: Peter’s betrayal of Our Lord after the last supper. I believe we can all identify with one or more of the Apostles, disciples, and characters in the Bible because it is a story of our human condition and how God creates and enters into covenant with us despite our faults and frailties. Each and every one of us is in covenant love with God so we feel embarrassed or inadequate when we let Him down by our actions. Christ knows this; He knows what’s in our hearts.

Did you withhold voicing the Catholic churches position about homosexuals living in sin out of love for your friend who happens to be homosexual? Did you remain silent for fear of the social castigation you might have received by those hostile to God’s laws? Did you hold your tongue because you value your friends more than you value speaking God’s truth? This is between you and God.

Peter was anguished over his betrayal and became the leader of the early church. He carried his guilt with him to his cross where, as tradition has it, he requested to be crucified upside down. We all carry our crosses in our daily lives; some are really heavy and others surprisingly light. Some days we make more progress and stay truer to the path that Christ walked and other days we need more guidance from the Holy Spirit to remain on the path.

You may feel a bit unsure now but have faith and keep praying for your homosexual friend and all your friends who embrace their sins. We are all sinners but we don’t have to love our sins more than God. God Bless you. 👍
 
John_of_Woking said:
Help,

So there I was at work with my gay friend and another close friend and gay friend announced she is engaged. Other friend acts all joyful and then attention turned to me

Immediately i could feel myself going red. They could see I was flustered and I mumbled something like ‘Where is the ring?’?!

Then I heard the cock crow. Ok I didn’t hear the cock crow but i realised I had missed my opportunity to defend the truth and had cowed due to my immense COWARDICE.

In my rationalisation I have consoled myself by them knowing that I am a Catholic and they know where my Church stands (she does).

Now what? Help do I need to make reparation. Oh my yikes I am such a wuss.
Click to expand...
Well the office isn’t the place to put people on the spot, either, like this “friend” did you. All such matters ought to be off topic at the office, IMHO. They all turned to you because they know where you stand, yes? So what did they expect you to say when confronted like that? Everyone is acting all happy about this impending disaster of a feigned marriage and what are you supposed to do in an office setting? I smell an ambush.

I’m afraid this sort of thing is going to happen more and more. Christians are going to be put on the spot, in a game of “Gotcha! Now say something against it while we’re all ganged up on you, disapproving of anything you might say with minds and hearts firmly shut.” Don’t throw your pearls before swine or be intimidated. Simply say, “I see” and walk away. You’re not obliged to approve or disapprove. And if you are harrassed for not being “thrilled” at such a travesty, you can always appeal to HR. Indeed, I think businesss should have a policy of not discussing personal matters on the job–it’s the only way to keep people from being confronted and bullied.
 
nothing wrong with just wishing someone well. causing a big upset wouldnt help anybody.
 
tower_of_babel said:
nothing wrong with just wishing someone well. causing a big upset wouldnt help anybody.
Click to expand...
Indeed.

OP, you could always say ‘I wish you all the very best’. for isn’t the knowledge of God and His plan for us the very best for us? You don’t have to put it into words, and far less do you need to cause an upset by criticising them.

Just know what YOU mean by ‘all the very best’, and pray for them to come to a similar understanding.
 
John_of_Woking said:
Help,

So there I was at work with my gay friend and another close friend and gay friend announced she is engaged. Other friend acts all joyful and then attention turned to me

Immediately i could feel myself going red. They could see I was flustered and I mumbled something like ‘Where is the ring?’?!

Then I heard the cock crow. Ok I didn’t hear the cock crow but i realised I had missed my opportunity to defend the truth and had cowed due to my immense COWARDICE.

In my rationalisation I have consoled myself by them knowing that I am a Catholic and they know where my Church stands (she does).

Now what? Help do I need to make reparation. Oh my yikes I am such a wuss.
Click to expand...
No need to. These are friends of yours and you say they know where the Church stands and I presume they know where you stand on the issue right? So they intentionally put you on the spot? Nice friends…

As to what to say in a situation like that…you could say I will keep you in my prayers knowing that your prayer is that your friend comes to know Jesus and His Church.
 
paperwight66 said:
Indeed.

OP, you could always say ‘I wish you all the very best’. for isn’t the knowledge of God and His plan for us the very best for us? You don’t have to put it into words, and far less do you need to cause an upset by criticising them.

Just know what YOU mean by ‘all the very best’, and pray for them to come to a similar understanding.
Click to expand...
Question: If the OP had said “I wish you all the very best” or another neutral something to the gay person who got married, wouldn’t that be like her stating that she supports same-sex couples getting married?

Lord, help me to not offend anyone in my words or deeds.
 
AnotherPenitent said:
I’m sorry; that is a really awkward situation to be in! Obviously you don’t want to say something like “congratulations,” but then you don’t want to start a fight, either. Honestly, I’m impressed that you came up with something as neutral as “Where is the ring?” on the spot!

Now that you’ve had some time to think about it, can you think of what you would rather have said? I’m curious, too–it’s good to be prepared, just in case!
Click to expand...
Yeah to be honest I am finding it hard to know what to say. Maybe I should have said"catch you later and wandered off to a fake impromptu meeting!
 
808Catholic said:
You draw on great imagery: Peter’s betrayal of Our Lord after the last supper. I believe we can all identify with one or more of the Apostles, disciples, and characters in the Bible because it is a story of our human condition and how God creates and enters into covenant with us despite our faults and frailties. Each and every one of us is in covenant love with God so we feel embarrassed or inadequate when we let Him down by our actions. Christ knows this; He knows what’s in our hearts.

Did you withhold voicing the Catholic churches position about homosexuals living in sin out of love for your friend who happens to be homosexual? Did you remain silent for fear of the social castigation you might have received by those hostile to God’s laws? Did you hold your tongue because you value your friends more than you value speaking God’s truth? This is between you and God.

Peter was anguished over his betrayal and became the leader of the early church. He carried his guilt with him to his cross where, as tradition has it, he requested to be crucified upside down. We all carry our crosses in our daily lives; some are really heavy and others surprisingly light. Some days we make more progress and stay truer to the path that Christ walked and other days we need more guidance from the Holy Spirit to remain on the path.

You may feel a bit unsure now but have faith and keep praying for your homosexual friend and all your friends who embrace their sins. We are all sinners but we don’t have to love our sins more than God. God Bless you. 👍
Click to expand...
Thank you what a powerful post. I have been to confession and will continue to pray for this situation
 
AKDee said:
I don’t think you did anything wrong.

If they asked you your belief on gay marriage, then you would have had an obligation to defend the faith.

But to be in a social situation where two gay people announce their engagement- I think it would have been inappropriate at that point to start in on the religious ramifications.
Click to expand...
Thanks I guess if someone asked I would point them to catholic answers and say “I am a son of the Church”. I hope I would not cower and say something relativist! Protect me Jesus from this World!
 
Isca said:
A casual social interaction with other people present is not the time to make some big point about your beliefs, in my view. She knows where you stand and she didn’t introduce the legislation that has allowed her to get married.

You could say ’ I expect you’re very excited’ or something bland like that. It’s stating the obvious, but not being offensive to her in public - which wouldn’t be a very Christian thing to do.
Click to expand...
Yes Charity is of paramount importance. I definitely care for this person
 
Della said:
Well the office isn’t the place to put people on the spot, either, like this “friend” did you. All such matters ought to be off topic at the office, IMHO. They all turned to you because they know where you stand, yes? So what did they expect you to say when confronted like that? Everyone is acting all happy about this impending disaster of a feigned marriage and what are you supposed to do in an office setting? I smell an ambush.

I’m afraid this sort of thing is going to happen more and more. Christians are going to be put on the spot, in a game of “Gotcha! Now say something against it while we’re all ganged up on you, disapproving of anything you might say with minds and hearts firmly shut.” Don’t throw your pearls before swine or be intimidated. Simply say, “I see” and walk away. You’re not obliged to approve or disapprove. And if you are harrassed for not being “thrilled” at such a travesty, you can always appeal to HR. Indeed, I think businesss should have a policy of not discussing personal matters on the job–it’s the only way to keep people from being confronted and bullied.
Click to expand...
Interesting angle. Hadn’t crossed my mind although thankfully I am pretty sure they aren’t those kind of people. You are right though I can see that happening more and more
 
It is good to be forewarned. I have never been able to play poker because my face will always betray me. The look that would come over me in that situation would have been pure confusion and dismay.

Thanking about it and knowing that it is possible these people may be setting me up. I will simply say, “I wish you happiness.” Because that would be the truth. It neither condones nor condemns. Then I would find something else to do and leave the subject there.
 
John_of_Woking said:
Help,

So there I was at work with my gay friend and another close friend and gay friend announced she is engaged. Other friend acts all joyful and then attention turned to me

Immediately i could feel myself going red. They could see I was flustered and I mumbled something like ‘Where is the ring?’?!

Then I heard the cock crow. Ok I didn’t hear the cock crow but i realised I had missed my opportunity to defend the truth and had cowed due to my immense COWARDICE.

In my rationalisation I have consoled myself by them knowing that I am a Catholic and they know where my Church stands (she does).

Now what? Help do I need to make reparation. Oh my yikes I am such a wuss.
Click to expand...
Cut yourself some slack. You were taken completely by surprise.

I’m glad you posted this, though, since it gives the rest of us here an opportunity to consider beforehand what we would do in a similar situation.

I think the suggestion to offer prayer for the couple is the best solution. It’s what we should be doing anyway.

I received an email from a cousin telling me that the wife of one of her other (female) cousins had died. Unlike you, I wasn’t in front of witnesses and had the chance to think carefully about how to respond. (I told my cousin I would pray for the repose of the soul of the woman who had died.)

We’re going to be running into this sort of situation more and more. Unfortunately, most think that when we hate the sin we also hate the sinner, while the truth is that because we love the sinner we hate the sin.
 
In this situation, I would have probably caved and “betrayed Christ” more than you did, OP. That being said, I think you did the best you could given the situation. Hindsight is a great teacher, am I right?

After having given this some contemplation, though, I think I would have said the truth - the full truth, including the emotional situation. Something I’m learning to do these days is rely on my emotions because people react very well to “I statements.” You were put in a bind on the spot, right? So say that. You didn’t know why they would gang up on you? Tell them! You don’t deserve to be treated this way, because you are a cherished child of God (well, you all are, but you’re the one being persecuted here).

I’m not quite sure what I would have done, but I’m pretty sure I could only make it worse for the female friend. The most likely targets to evangelize, then, would be your workmates - if they know you can stand up for your faith, they might take you more seriously and possibly even look into the Church. Don’t forget to pray for them too! I might give a closed-mouthed smile to the friend and if the situation got awkward, add, “What do you expect me to say?” Whatever you do, don’t give them what they want - that’s how bullies thrive. Help the bullies and yourself towards God by sticking to the Truth, and only the full Truth. That can’t lose.

I’ll be praying for you and your team. :byzsoc: Stay strong!
 
John_of_Woking said:
Interesting angle. Hadn’t crossed my mind although thankfully I am pretty sure they aren’t those kind of people. You are right though I can see that happening more and more
Click to expand...
Yes, it was on-the-hop situation and I overreacted to your description, but I hate it when people, who know where you stand, turn to you as if to say, “Well, what do you have to say about it?” Knowing full well you can’t give your approval. Even the “best” people will gang up on another person in a subtle effort to get them to conform to popular opinion or to shame them into silence. And indeed, we can expect this kind of thing to happen more and more, which is why public companies are going to have to implement a policy of not discussing personal matters in masse like that. It’s not fair to the person being bullied and it’s unproductive for the company to have employees disgruntled with each other over personal issues.
 
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