I can hardly stand my mother

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Belle777

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My family is having terrible terrible issues concerning my mother.
Here’s the problem…she has the symptoms of schizophrenia, SEVERELY at that, and refuses to get help!
She’s so delusional, that she thinks a celebrity is secretly going out with her through psychic powers or something…and that Jesus and Satan are one in the same AND are possessing her!
She’s an angry alcoholic who takes her anger out on my father and, if she can get a hold of her, my sister who disowns mom.
She’s a drug addict!
Severely depressed and even suicidal!
Mood swings like mad!

…
Okay, nuff of that yelling.
Point being, I’ve decided to not hang out with her until she gets help.
Last time I spoke to her, I said I wouldn’t take her mentally abusing my father any more (she screams cruel things at him) and that I won’t deal with her until she gets help!
Am I being too cruel?
Sometimes I think I need to be more compassionate, but at the same time, I can’t let her allow herself to act like this, as though there’s no problem…sighs
What should I be doing right now, as a daughter?
 
*Aw, Belle, I’m sorry. 😦 Your mom sounds like she has a lot of issues going on. Not making excuses for her, but if she has that many problems, she might not be in her ‘right’ mind to really know ‘how’ to stop her bad behaviors…is she on any type of medication at all? I wouldn’t stop coming to see her, I understand your frustration (although you might take a break now and again for your own peace of mind), but she needs so much help! 😦 I will pray for you to have strength right now…I know this is so hard, but keep being persistent with your mom, and recruit others to help you. My heart breaks for your situation. I lost my mom at a very young age, she too had a myriad of health issues, mainly emotional/chemical imbalances, and she hurt my family a lot. But, try to see your mom as Christ does, it might help to lessen the pain and frustration.

Please feel free to me if you ever want to just vent! :o God bless you.*
 
Belle777 said:
My family is having terrible terrible issues concerning my mother.
Here’s the problem…she has the symptoms of schizophrenia, SEVERELY at that, and refuses to get help!
She’s so delusional, that she thinks a celebrity is secretly going out with her through psychic powers or something…and that Jesus and Satan are one in the same AND are possessing her!
She’s an angry alcoholic who takes her anger out on my father and, if she can get a hold of her, my sister who disowns mom.
She’s a drug addict!
Severely depressed and even suicidal!
Mood swings like mad!

…
Okay, nuff of that yelling.
Point being, I’ve decided to not hang out with her until she gets help.
Last time I spoke to her, I said I wouldn’t take her mentally abusing my father any more (she screams cruel things at him) and that I won’t deal with her until she gets help!
Am I being too cruel?
Sometimes I think I need to be more compassionate, but at the same time, I can’t let her allow herself to act like this, as though there’s no problem…sighs
What should I be doing right now, as a daughter?
Click to expand...
If she is suicidal, there are legal channels that can force her to get a psychiatric evalutation and start treatment. I would encourage you to look into that. It might get your mother started receiving the help she needs.
 
My advice? Get to Al-Anon. Do not pass go…

Unfortunately, too many people think that Al-Anon is for trying to help the Alcoholic get sober. Sometimes that is the outcome, but it’s for getting help for yourself!

Praying here. Mental illness is never easy for the family or the one who is suffering.

in Christ
Steph
 
Belle777 said:
What should I be doing right now, as a daughter?
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First, protect yourself. Distance is good. It’s okay to break off contact with people who aren’t good for you, even if they are related to you.

Second, realize that you cannot live someone else’s life for them, nor make their decisions for them - not even your closest loved ones. Don’t be frustrated by this - it’s not even your job to do this. She is her own person; she has to make her own decisions.

Third, make sure she knows where to find help, should she choose to seek it out. But leave it up to her, what she does, and stay clear out of her way until she does.
 
Uh oh.
Mixed signals!
Stay away for my own health, or stay by her side?
Hmmm…
It might be risky, but I think I’m going to talk to her again.
I love her so much, and I know she’s suffering.
I can’t just leave her alone…
Darn darn darn…sniffles
Thanks for the support, guys.

Oh, and at one point, a clinic found out she was suicidal and attempted to make her get help, but when she went to where they sent her, they didn’t think it was a problem because she wasn’t suicidal AT THAT TIME.
frustration
 
Many schizophrenics become alcoholics because in the beginning the alcohol seems to calm the voices. Eventually, the body adjusts to the alcohol and alcohol makes the schizophrenic worse. It’s truly one of the most difficult illnesses to deal with. I’ll keep you in my prayers. (There have been several studies on alcohol and schizophrenia. One of them was done in Wales.)
 
Well, I just called her, so I could remind her that I love her and gently remind her that I want her to get help.
…
She still refuses to see anybody, and claims that she’s doing something that’ll help her but refuses to tell me what it is.
worry worry worry
 
Pray and ask her pastor to come and speak with her with your father and you present so you can all discuss her illness as a loving family under a loving priest.
 
She’s very close minded about churches now, so she won’t listen to a priest…my family’s rather mixed when it comes to religion.
Mom made up her own Christianity and Satanism of sorts, dad is a DEVOTED Catholic, my sister is atheist, and I’m Catholic for the most part.
 
Belle777 said:
She’s very close minded about churches now, so she won’t listen to a priest…my family’s rather mixed when it comes to religion.
Mom made up her own Christianity and Satanism of sorts, dad is a DEVOTED Catholic, my sister is atheist, and I’m Catholic for the most part.
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Then we’ll have to all pray extra hard for your mother. Try to give her all the charity you can. When she finds herself in serious crisis in a hospital she may then begin to realize she has a real problem and will begin to take medicine to help her and will begin seeking out God. Sometimes it takes something drastic to get things to turn around, I’m sorry to say. I assure you of my prayers for your mother and family. Peace!
 
You must set boundaries for yourself…as my priest told me about a family member. Seeing her does not help her or you. I think you should see about programs that must take her in and being she can be suicidal, then do not understate that when calling around for help.
So, 1, stay away
2. get her in an institution.
3. your dad needs your help too. Find him help.

God Loves you all,
Spirit
 
I’m gonna go with the ‘stay away’ thing now.
Alrighty, a mental institution…hmm…I’ve called about how to get her in one even though she doesn’t want the help…I’d have to go through court.
 
Whatever it takes to help your mom is what is needed. Court,etc;
Staying away for now is so important for your health.
How is your dad?

In my prayers…all of you,
Spirit
 
Dad says he’s not going to take her abuse anymore, but I don’t think he’s really doing anything to get her help.
I think I’m gonna try the court thing.
I got instructions from a mental hospital.
It starts by me calling my county’s prosecuting attorney.
gulp
Shall I?
 
Belle777 said:
Dad says he’s not going to take her abuse anymore, but I don’t think he’s really doing anything to get her help.
I think I’m gonna try the court thing.
I got instructions from a mental hospital.
It starts by me calling my county’s prosecuting attorney.
gulp
Shall I?
Click to expand...
Will it help her? If it will, then do it. 🙂
 
I have e-mailed the prosecuting attorney for my county.
Let’s see where that goes…meeps
 
So sorry you’re having to deal with this. It’s got to be terribly nerve wracking. But you’re doing the right thing. She needs help and seems like she’s hardly able to help herself. But no matter what happens, weather the court helps you or not, 'tis definately best to do this from as much of a distance as possible. Regular contact will not be helpful for you or her.
 
Belle777 said:
I have e-mailed the prosecuting attorney for my county.
Let’s see where that goes…meeps
Click to expand...
Sounds like a good plan to look into that. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you to have this situation with your mother. Prayers for you, your mom and your entire family.
 
Belle777 said:
What should I be doing right now, as a daughter?
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“Belle” Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m praying for you. I can relate, a little bit… because my 87 year old mother has Alzheimer’s and “behavioral issues” are becoming more frequent. (I’m her sole caregiver). It sure is scary when one of your parents changes like you’ve described. Hang in there, dear soul. :console:
 
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