I Can Rarely Recieve Communion Because of Sin

[Mark86]

I’ve gotten to a point where receiving communion is the highlight of my week. Literally, nothing else compares because I don’t do anything else but work and basically sit at home because of my hours (I work from 3pm to 11), including weekends. This is good because I can attend morning masses, so I can’t complain about that, but it also means that I can’t make it to confession in my parish (because confessions are heard at 3:30 on saturdays when I work). It also means I can’t make it to confession at the local shrine because they hear it from 1 to 4, and I have to leave at 2, and it’s kind of out of the way, and etc. etc.

Long story short, I’ve been asking the priest after mass on sunday every week, and I’ve been going every week, but that’s the problem, it’s after mass. Which means I always end up having to wait a whole other week before I could even receive communion again. And since I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I fall into mortal sin on a weekly basis, sometimes a daily basis, I usually have to skip communion once again the following week and go to confession instead, and then wait another week…etc. etc. and the cycle repeats week after week. I don’t even remember the last time I was in a church and worthy to receive communion.

Another thing is, I enjoy very much going to daily mass, but my parish has it only on thursdays and fridays. Because of my work schedule, I often attend, and they even do adoration after mass on thursdays, so I’m blessed with that as well… BUT I can’t seem to go three days from sunday to thursday without falling back into mortal sin, so that means I often can’t even receive communion on the closest day after the sunday I receive absolution. I can’t bug the priest after mass on thursdays because they’re doing adoration at that time. I can’t bug the priest on fridays either because they shut the place down, so I’m always left to waiting for sunday, because sunday is when the priest is actually there after mass… and when I call to make an appointment, the parish tells me to see him after mass on sundays anyways, which is what I’m already doing.

So I don’t know what to do… I find the whole thing humorous and perplexing. I know ultimately it’s my fault because it’s my sin that’s snagging me every week, but I would like to receive communion because I believe it would help.

 

[total_Catholic]

You sound scrupulous to a fault, but don’t worry, because so am I. Find a good priest and talk to them, regarding EVERYTHING. If what you’re doing is habitual, then yes, talk to a priest regarding culpability, and again, yes, I speak from experience.

You’re making your MASS commitment, better than I have been doing. God’s peace to you.

 

[Mark86]

Thank you for your advice and your positive attitude.

I should say, just to be clear, that the sin that snags me week after week is masturbation, so I know just from reading this forum how it’s one of those “no matter what way you slice it…” kinds of questions where you can’t avoid it being a mortal sin just because it’s habitual, and I’m one of those people who wouldn’t receive communion if I so much as stepped on a crack beforehand, never mind something as grave and intentional as masturbation (even if the desires are overwhelming). As far as I’m concerned, habitual masturbation just means it’s habitually mortal.

So that’s why I don’t receive.

 

[twf]

Mark,
I feel your pain. At times in my life I have been in a similar position where, due to struggles with masturbation, I simply would have to abstain from holy communion Sunday after Sunday. It is truly painful…but it is also a powerful motivation to amend one’s life. Contrary to what so many people in the modern Church seem to think, we have absolutely no obligation to receive holy communion at every mass…only to be present. The only obligation to receive is once during the Easter season each year. There are still great graces available to us simply by being present and uniting oneself to the holy sacrifice as best as one can. It is far better to abstain from holy communion than risk sacrilege. Pray the Rosary daily if you are able to…pray the divine office (choose one or two of the offices and pray it consistently)…get to confession as often as you possibly can, and when you can’t, attempt a perfect act of contrition. When I fall, I tend to immediately stop what I’m doing and pray Psalm 51 as my act of contrition asking the Holy Spirit for the grace of making a good confession as soon as possible. While in a state of sin I will constantly pray to the Lord “Give me the grace, clarity of mind, and opportunity to make a good confession as soon as possible”.

 

[maryjk]

I’ve gotten to a point where receiving communion is the highlight of my week. **Literally, nothing else compares because I don’t do anything else but work and basically sit at home because of my hours (I work from 3pm to 11), including weekends. **This is good because I can attend morning masses, so I can’t complain about that, but it also means that I can’t make it to confession in my parish (because confessions are heard at 3:30 on saturdays when I work). It also means I can’t make it to confession at the local shrine because they hear it from 1 to 4, and I have to leave at 2, and it’s kind of out of the way, and etc. etc.

Thank you for your advice and your positive attitude.

I should say, just to be clear, that the sin that snags me week after week is masturbation, so I know just from reading this forum how it’s one of those “no matter what way you slice it…” kinds of questions where you can’t avoid it being a mortal sin just because it’s habitual, and I’m one of those people who wouldn’t receive communion if I so much as stepped on a crack beforehand, never mind something as grave and intentional as masturbation (even if the desires are overwhelming). As far as I’m concerned, habitual masturbation just means it’s habitually mortal.

So that’s why I don’t receive.

You spend every waking hour, either at work or at home? Sounds like you need to get out.

You also need to discuss this with your confessor. Let him know that you have received Communion in (weeks, months, whatever). And explain why. *Take his advice. *

 

[SuperLuigi]

Thank you for your advice and your positive attitude.

I should say, just to be clear, that the sin that snags me week after week is masturbation, so I know just from reading this forum how it’s one of those “no matter what way you slice it…” kinds of questions where you can’t avoid it being a mortal sin just because it’s habitual, and I’m one of those people who wouldn’t receive communion if I so much as stepped on a crack beforehand, never mind something as grave and intentional as masturbation (even if the desires are overwhelming). As far as I’m concerned, habitual masturbation just means it’s habitually mortal.

So that’s why I don’t receive.

You need to find a priest (maybe a different one than at your parish if he’s not around much) for spiritual direction, namely, when and if masturbation is a mortal sin in your case.

 

[Mark86]

Contrary to what so many people in the modern Church seem to think, we have absolutely no obligation to receive holy communion at every mass…only to be present. The only obligation to receive is once during the Easter season each year. There are still great graces available to us simply by being present and uniting oneself to the holy sacrifice as best as one can. It is far better to abstain from holy communion than risk sacrilege.

I couldn’t agree with you more. I often feel exposed like the “good thief” while everyone else is going up for communion. Christ was exposed and humiliated for things he didn’t do… how much more appropriate that, like the “good thief,” I should be exposed for things I did do, and I try to focus my “spiritual communion” on that meditation while I’m feeling the embarrassment of staying behind. Usually at that point I’m given the strength and the courage to bug father for confession after mass, and it’s like there’s two choices… I could either receive unworthily and attempt to “climb up another way” (which would only result in sacrilege)… or I could meet Christ in reconciliation and actually BE absolved. Some of my disappointment about not receiving Christ in the Eucharist is met with the expectation of at least being able to meet Christ in Reconciliation.

My priest has assured me he has no problem hearing my confessions after mass (except on the last sundays because he does infant baptisms after mass, and I understand he’s tied up with that), but he’s always been wonderfully accommodating and I pray for him. Perhaps I just need to explain the situation and see what he can do for me. Maybe he could stick around for a couple minutes on friday mornings after mass. That’s about the only thing I can think.

But thank you for your insight. I think sometimes we can desire the Eucharist apart from God, and get our priorities about it mixed up, and so I think sometimes God just wants to make sure I actually want to receive Him in the Eucharist and not just receive like a “weekly waifer.” Like Paul said, “Don’t you people have anything to eat at home?”

Pray the Rosary daily if you are able to…pray the divine office (choose one or two of the offices and pray it consistently)…get to confession as often as you possibly can, and when you can’t, attempt a perfect act of contrition. When I fall, I tend to immediately stop what I’m doing and pray Psalm 51 as my act of contrition asking the Holy Spirit for the grace of making a good confession as soon as possible. While in a state of sin I will constantly pray to the Lord “Give me the grace, clarity of mind, and opportunity to make a good confession as soon as possible”.

May God bless you. I love the morning Lauds, and I do them as often as I can, I used to do them every morning. I even bought the whole set! One of the reasons I tend to “stay in the house” on my days off is because I’m constantly engaging in these spiritual exercises like daily scripture readings and the liturgy of the hours, and various litanies and rosaries…etc.

You spend every waking hour, either at work or at home? Sounds like you need to get out.

I do that when I go to church.

But yeah, I’ll see if I can take this to a deeper level with the priest.

You need to find a priest (maybe a different one than at your parish if he’s not around much) for spiritual direction, namely, when and if masturbation is a mortal sin in your case.

I wasn’t aware it was possible for it not to be a mortal sin for a person unless one does it in their sleep or doesn’t know it’s mortal.

 

[OraLabora]

Thank you for your advice and your positive attitude.

I should say, just to be clear, that the sin that snags me week after week is masturbation, so I know just from reading this forum how it’s one of those “no matter what way you slice it…” kinds of questions where you can’t avoid it being a mortal sin just because it’s habitual, and I’m one of those people who wouldn’t receive communion if I so much as stepped on a crack beforehand, never mind something as grave and intentional as masturbation (even if the desires are overwhelming). As far as I’m concerned, habitual masturbation just means it’s habitually mortal.

So that’s why I don’t receive.

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability.

(my bold)

Don’t beat yourself up over this. Discuss it with your priest. Masturbation is natural. Left to one’s own devices, I suspect just about everyone will do it. It’s almost a universal struggle. Animals do it too.

The thing is we are, as Catholics, called to rise above our natures and not misuse the gifts that God gave us. But the Church recognizes that this is a struggle for many of us, and many have diminished culpability as a result. Also remember that God rewards efforts, rather than results, as one confessor told me. A perfect result is almost meaningless if one doesn’t suffer the temptation. But overcoming the temptation just once for someone who struggles with it, counts more in God’s eyes than the person who isn’t tempted by it and never falls into it.

Discuss it honestly with your priest in the confessional, then follow his advice, and trust in God’s mercy. If he says culpability isn’t mortal in your case, and that God forgives you, then believe him and follow his advice.

The devil is using your scrupulosity to deprive you of the graces flowing from Our Lord’s most beautiful sacrament, the Eucharist. If you let him, he will wear you down and discourage you and you’ll risk losing your soul to him.

 

[maryjk]

I do that when I go to church.

But yeah, I’ll see if I can take this to a deeper level with the priest.\

Um, yes. Once or twice a week.

Your sin is a sin that is committed in private. Something that you wouldn’t do while you were out a about town.

In addition to speaking to your priest about it, you need to avoid the situation. That is what I mean about getting out. Instead of spending all day, of most days inside; go out. Walk, exercise, meet people. In other words, get out of the house.

 

[ajecphotos]

Why dont you ask your priest to hear your confession before mass? You could always go a bit earlier? My priest is very accommodating indeed.

 

[InNomineDomini]

Your sin is a sin that is committed in private. Something that you wouldn’t do while you were out a about town.

For someone struggling against self-abuse and the viewing of pornography, being out in town can be a near occasion of sin, as well as a very serious temptation to engage in those sins once one returns home.

I would put forward that someone who cannot control their desires past a couple of days most certainly would have great issue being exposed to others who are immodestly dressed. Let’s face it, it’s quite easy to spend a couple of hours running errands and to be exposed to several dozen such people during these hotter months. Seeing someone for merely a few seconds could lead to hours of temptation, especially in those who have been severely weakened by viewing days and days and days worth of pornography.

 

[maryjk]

For someone struggling against self-abuse and the viewing of pornography, being out in town can be a near occasion of sin, as well as a very serious temptation to engage in those sins once one returns home.

I would put forward that someone who cannot control their desires past a couple of days most certainly would have great issue being exposed to others who are immodestly dressed. Let’s face it, it’s quite easy to spend a couple of hours running errands and to be exposed to several dozen such people during these hotter months. Seeing someone for merely a few seconds could lead to hours of temptation, especially in those who have been severely weakened by viewing days and days and days worth of pornography.

The OP didn’t mention pornography. But, yes, if he also has a problem with pornography, that adds to his troubles.

But I can’t see where locking himself, alone, in his home is a good solution.

 

[InNomineDomini]

… and when I call to make an appointment, the parish tells me to see him after mass on sundays anyways, which is what I’m already doing.

I would do one of two things at this point:

(i) I would tell the receptionist I’m sorry, but in my case, that’s not possible. If they won’t schedule an appointment, I would schedule one with the priest myself. If this were absolutely not possible for some reason, then:

(ii) I would find another local parish to schedule confessions at.

Scheduling a confession time is a solution to much of your problem, and brother, I love ya, but I’m sure it’s not impossible to be able to do this in your situation.

 

[InNomineDomini]

The OP didn’t mention pornography.

That’s a good point.

If he indeed is able to exercise sincere custody of the eyes, and if he doesn’t have a pornography addiction, then keeping busy could be a great help.

 

[Mark86]

You guys have been very helpful and I think I know what needs to be done. All things are possible with God and as we ask, we receive, and God never just shuts doors in our faces if we’re seeking in earnest. I think I’ll be trying to make the trip out to the shrine before work if I need to. I’ll also ask the father about whether the moral guilt of some of this sin extends to my case, and I’ll see if there’s a better time for confession so that I don’t go without.

I know I also need to get out, but sometimes I feel like I don’t want to do anything that God hasn’t just come down and “told me to do,” because I get this feeling like I’m just “building in vain.” But I guess my unwillingness to live the life God gave me has something to do with the problem itself, so maybe I just need to go hang around somewhere and see what happens.

God bless you all.

 

[Arizona_Fat_Gir]

To lighten the subject a little, when I took two children to the zoo once, we visited the walruses. There was one walrus in particular that the kids liked. He was masturbating. I did not make a big deal out of it, except that the boy, (cousin to my daughter) said, gee, that walrus looks like Daddy! They were both quite young and did not mention what he was doing.

My sister sent me a video of a kangaroo who was doing it as well. If you don’t think it’s possible, it is. The kangaroo lies down in a case like this and uses one of his front paws.

Do they call them paws, or what. Anyway yes, even animals do it.

 

[benwizzin2]

Mark, i have suffered from sins of the flesh for years. God is all merciful but his acts of mercy are finite. From all is hidden the hour of our death. God said i will come like a theif in the night. Hes talking about your death!!! Therefore you need to be prepared to die today! NOW!!!

This may sound harsh, but when tempted, you need to say to yourself " if i entertain this thought i will go to hell. I will lose sanctifying grace and separate myslef from God. If i die with this thought, i will burn for all eternity."

Make a spiritual communion every day you cannot be at Mass!

Listen to father isaac mary relyea and his lentin mission sermons on youtube. That should have you crying. I cried for 3 days listening as my sins were thrown in my face.

Call the priest and tell him you need to set up an appointment for confession ASAP! If he tells you to come during scheduled times, leave that church and never go back!

Lastly, consecrate your life to the Blessed Virgin Mary and enroll in the brown scapular if you havent done so already. She is the mediatrix of ALL graces. She is purity. Constantly pray 3 Hail Marys asking her to intercede for you with God before you die.

 

[ccmcmg]

You guys have been very helpful and I think I know what needs to be done. All things are possible with God and as we ask, we receive, and God never just shuts doors in our faces if we’re seeking in earnest. I think I’ll be trying to make the trip out to the shrine before work if I need to. I’ll also ask the father about whether the moral guilt of some of this sin extends to my case, and I’ll see if there’s a better time for confession so that I don’t go without.

I know I also need to get out, but sometimes I feel like I don’t want to do anything that God hasn’t just come down and “told me to do,” because I get this feeling like I’m just “building in vain.” But I guess my unwillingness to live the life God gave me has something to do with the problem itself, so maybe I just need to go hang around somewhere and see what happens.

God bless you all.

It isn’t easy, but you can do it! My confessor often recommends turning to Mother Mary as my protector when I’m being tempted, especially by sins of the flesh.

As for not going out unless you get a command from God…**is God commanding you to sit at home? **If not, then why are you? Not every movement is written before us, as to what we should do (eat at Cracker Barrel or Red Lobster? Which one do you want me to do, God? Well, if I don’t get an ‘answer’, I’m going to RL because I love the biscuits…). Do you have Adoration available at your parish or another nearby? We have a chapel available 24/7; we are very blessed. Perhaps stop by there on your way home from work. Are there other things that weaken you to your temptations (alcohol, etc)? Avoid those. TV shows, music, etc? Again…avoid.

Perhaps put some Holy Water wherever you feel tempted to sin, as well as a crucifix. It may not be 100% helpful to you at all times, but it might help you avoid at least some of the times. Keep the Rosary near your pillow. Play Christian music wherever you are at, even Catholic hymns, wherever you are tempted.

That strong urge, the one that makes us think it will feel so good (and often does, temporarily) is even better and feels better when the urge is able to be resisted for the Lord. Give it to Him. Let Him fight your battle for you. Let St. Michael fight the battle for you. They are much more experienced at it than we are!

Depending on when you find the most temptation, such as before sleeping, exercise or do something so that you are too tired even to entertain the thought. If it’s mornings, perhaps making a new habit, such as walking or praying would help.

I hope something here helps. God bless and keep you.

 

[total_Catholic]

I have struggled with this as well, but once I wrapped my hand with a Rosary once. It helped, well at lease that once.

 

[ProVobis]

I have struggled with this as well, but once I wrapped my hand with a Rosary once. It helped, well at lease that once.

Or pray for early male menopause.