I have been searching for the truth for years. I am a Christ follower and I have begun and stopped RCIA many times due to being taunted by demons. It scares me away from God’s One Church. People say I am either crazy or truly blessed. I am craving the Eucharist. I currently go to a Protestant church and I feel something missing. When I prayed about it, I got my sign when this church did a symbolic gesture of The Last Supper today. Just a symbol, IRK! I have to experience the body and blood of Christ! That is what is missing for me. But when I get closeto The Church, His Church, I put myself to sleep saying Hail Mary’s to fight against demons that scare me. They go away when I am not persuing the Catholic Faith. I have been seen by psychologists and therapists because I was afraid I was crazy. Well, I’m not. This is real. Any advice on how to fight this or anyone who has gone through thistoo please help.
I believe you, because I have gone through this also. Get back in the RCIA program ASAP! The events of this experiance you are going through can be turned against them IF you choose to follow Christ’s path. It will strengthen your faith in God and is a GREAT way to turn your suffering into graces for God.
I was born into thew Catholic Faith. I walked away from my faith when I was a teen and throughout the course of my life, committed major mortal sins. I was a miserable soul. Nothing made me happy and I felt as if I didn’t belong on this earth. The first occasion of my seeing demons, they took on form of people in my life and I didn’t know it was them. They told me things about future events and I thought it was all a joke. A joke between “Friends”. Until what they told me started to happen, word for word. Most of that (now I know, HELLISH conversation) revolved around pop culture, wars and events in my personal life. At the end of the “Conversation” the person I thought I was talking to, a co-worker told me that if I ever spoke of this, he would deny the conversation ever took place and people would think I was “Nuts”. This first happened to me in the spring of 1997. Because of this particular conversation, and my trying to enplane the events and everything that had happened to me that day, my friends and family believed I had a serious psychological problem. When events would happen that were told to me, I would remember it as it was happening. It caused me serious suffering because I couldn’t change the events. The more I tried, the more people thought I was insane. It was also at that time, when I would start to experience these things, that I would smell an extremely foul odor. The odor I KNEW in my heart was the evil one, because the smell alone was terrifying. I did not see who was there with me, but I knew he was there. I spent weeks in mental hospitals, spent most of my money on psychological drugs that I didn’t need throughout most of the late 90’s and confronted this co-worker in regards to this and he said he had NO CLUE what I was talking about. For a time I would be OK, but I KNEW that evel force was stalking me.
It was then, I returned to my faith to seek shelter. When I did, everything evil disappeared. I thought I was OK and stopped going to mass again because “MY THINKING” was so distorted I thought God would never forgive me and this torment was my punishment. This was in 2001that I stopped but still prayed. I was also re evaluated at this time by another Dr, who stated I was FINE and misdiagnosed. Events that were spoken about that day in 97, still continued (As they still do today) but I held on to my belief that God was watching over me and dealt with it as knowing I couldn’t change it. God was in my heart and was still calling me to attend mass. It was finally in 2005 that I returned to my faith once again and knew I had to stay! In attending mass, I finally learned there is NO SIN God will not forgive. For all the mortal sin on my soul I carried, God STILL wanted me to repent, change my life and “Come Home”. And I did as HE wanted from that point on, rather then thinking I had all the answers. I gave my sinful self away and took on what God has given to me. There has been only one other occasion that the “Foul Smelling Liar” has made his presence known to me very recently. On that occasion, I drenched myself in prayer, attended mass, visited the Blessed Sacrament and came to find out much more that our Lord was presenting to me in regards to “Self Deception” living in “Illusion” verses the “PERCEPTION” God has of us, and how distorted our own perception can be. DO NOT let the Foul Smelling Liar take you over! Know for a fact, God wins always and put on HIS Armor, the armor that can NOT be pierced.
I take these events as my cross to carry. With Christ at my side, I do not let them consume me. The suffering I have because of them has brought me closer to God then I could have ever dreamed. I offer the suffering I have had of the events up to God and know one day, God will reveal all. I also no longer ask why, but rather, what do you need me to do for you Lord.
God bless you! Stay on the Lords path!