I cannot confess ALL my sins

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buddycharlie

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I used to be a “good Catholic” who did his best to avoid sin, went to confession regularly and accepted all the teachings of the Catholic Church. I still believe everything the Church teaches is true. I’m over 60 years old and don’t have a job. So,in these bad economic times, I make up a story - told a lie - in order to receive a disability pension. I now receive this pension and need this money to support my family. I can’t confess this sin because I would have to give all the money back AND tell the agency I receive this pension from that I lied AND possibly even go to jail. So, I don’t know what to do.I can no longer go to confession at all because I would have to confess all my sins to be a valid confession. I guess I’m resigned to go to hell when I die because I don’t see any way out.
 
Sir, I highly recomend that you make an appointment to speak with a Priest and just be honest with him about the situation. I say make an appointment, because theres probably other issues he would want to help you with that might be difficult to get into in the confessional. (with 10 people in line behind you it might take too much time.) come back to the Church, your in my prayers…
 
buddycharlie said:
I used to be a “good Catholic” who did his best to avoid sin, went to confession regularly and accepted all the teachings of the Catholic Church. I still believe everything the Church teaches is true. I’m over 60 years old and don’t have a job. So,in these bad economic times, I make up a story - told a lie - in order to receive a disability pension. I now receive this pension and need this money to support my family. I can’t confess this sin because I would have to give all the money back AND tell the agency I receive this pension from that I lied AND possibly even go to jail. So, I don’t know what to do.I can no longer go to confession at all because I would have to confess all my sins to be a valid confession. I guess I’m resigned to go to hell when I die because I don’t see any way out.
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The priest does not have the power to force you to give the money back, tell the agency you lied, etc. :“Seal of the confessional” means he cannot speak of this to the authorities. Why not try talking to your priest and see what the options might be?

And. . .not to be alarmist. . .you can’t think that there is NO chance this couldn’t be found out unless you ‘confess’ right? I mean, somebody at the agency could find out you lied at any time. . .and then what? You’d face all the problems plus you wouldn’t have tried to make it ‘right’ by talking with the priest.
 
Tantum_ergo said:
The priest does not have the power to force you to give the money back, tell the agency you lied, etc. :“Seal of the confessional” means he cannot speak of this to the authorities. Why not try talking to your priest and see what the options might be?

And. . .not to be alarmist. . .you can’t think that there is NO chance this couldn’t be found out unless you ‘confess’ right? I mean, somebody at the agency could find out you lied at any time. . .and then what? You’d face all the problems plus you wouldn’t have tried to make it ‘right’ by talking with the priest.
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Of course the priest cannot force me to do anything. However for the confession to be valid, one must make reparation to correct the damage the sin has caused. Which means I would be obligated to return the money - many thousands of dollars - and confess this to the agency as well.
 
buddycharlie said:
Of course the priest cannot force me to do anything. However for the confession to be valid, one must make reparation to correct the damage the sin has caused. Which means I would be obligated to return the money - many thousands of dollars - and confess this to the agency as well.
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You really should talk to the priest.

I mean, you’ve basically stolen thousands of dollars up to now and who knows how much over the next years., . . are you thinking you’ll ‘never’ get caught? Never have to worry about reparation? That this will only happen if you confess, but not otherwise?
 
Tantum_ergo said:
You really should talk to the priest.

I mean, you’ve basically stolen thousands of dollars up to now and who knows how much over the next years., . . are you thinking you’ll ‘never’ get caught? Never have to worry about reparation? That this will only happen if you confess, but not otherwise?
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That’s correct.
 
Tantum_ergo said:
Then you DEFINITELY need to speak to a priest. You will need help when this all comes out. You’re in my prayers.
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But you see, this is where I’m stuck. I cannot support my family otherwise. Family members need special medical attention that I cannot afford any other way. I do not do this for myself. I myself live the most simple life. We need medical reform in our country but it hasn’t happened. I cannot see a way out of this. No one is going to come to my door to give my family members the medical attention they depend on if they don’t get paid. There really is no way out.
 
buddycharlie said:
But you see, this is where I’m stuck. I cannot support my family otherwise. Family members need special medical attention that I cannot afford any other way. I do not do this for myself. I myself live the most simple life. We need medical reform in our country but it hasn’t happened. I cannot see a way out of this. No one is going to come to my door to give my family members the medical attention they depend on if they don’t get paid. There really is no way out.
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Again you are in my prayers but not only are you doing something wrong, when --and it will be when–your crime is discovered you will not only have to pay back what you took, but your family members will be in the same situation as before you made this decision, and you may possibly be in jail with no way to help at all. Do you really think that stealing is the only way? You have totally explored every other source in your city, state, and the federal government? You have tried to set up fundraisers to help defray medical expenses? You’ve looked into experimental or paid treatments? You’ve asked help through your church and diocese? You did all that ‘before’ you decided to steal from the government?

Suppose that not just you, but hundreds of other ‘yous’ decided to steal money this way. Well, that’s money that your state or federal government no longer have to give to anybody else, right? And even though you claim you’re living simply and just taking the ‘minimum’ to get by, what if some or all of the other people are taking MORE than they need. . .which again, is money that now isn’t available for people who are in need but who are playing by the RULES. . .

I urge you to speak to your priest. Your family is indeed in my prayers.
 
It’s better to know where you stand with the Church, than to continue guessing and fearing the worst - perhaps unnecessarily. So, as others have suggested, I recommend that you speak to a priest about this. The very worst that can happen is that he will tell you that you can’t be absolved unless you intend to stop taking this disability pension - so, if you don’t intend to do that, then you remain in the same state of as before - but at least you know now where you stand.

I once had to confess a sin where some action of recompense might have been required by my priest. He recommended that I make the action. I told him that I wouldn’t (not in defiance, but in honesty), and explain why. He absolved me anyway. It’s the priests decision, in persona Christi, to make this decision.
 
buddycharlie said:
I used to be a “good Catholic” who did his best to avoid sin, went to confession regularly and accepted all the teachings of the Catholic Church. I still believe everything the Church teaches is true. I’m over 60 years old and don’t have a job. So,in these bad economic times, I make up a story - told a lie - in order to receive a disability pension. I now receive this pension and need this money to support my family. I can’t confess this sin because I would have to give all the money back AND tell the agency I receive this pension from that I lied AND possibly even go to jail. So, I don’t know what to do.I can no longer go to confession at all because I would have to confess all my sins to be a valid confession. I guess I’m resigned to go to hell when I die because I don’t see any way out.
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This is an opportunity for trust in God Who will not let you down. Remember that the reality is always less frightening than the fear. Pray a Rosary, and try this: Ask the pension program if there is some job program they can get you into. Tell them the truth, and trust that they will help you, and give you a chance. God can do some really amazing stuff if you just give Him the chance.

God bless!
-Dan Marcum
 
I think that you should go talk to your priest too. You might be surprised by what he tells you. While part of confession means making reparation it doesn’t mean quite what you are thinking. I once misrepresented myself in order to purchase something on a major discount, in effect, stealing from the company. When I confessed it, the priest told me that I didn’t need to send money to the company but could make amends in other ways like giving some to charity. He also didn’t say that I had to pay back exactly the same amount. Church teaching isn’t as black-and-white as you seem to perceive it.

I think the important thing is that you go talk to your priest with an open mind and heart, about confessing this particular sin as well as rectifying your financial/medical situation. God can provide a way for you to deal with your situation without resorting to immoral means, you just have to trust Him. Go to your priest about this instead this discussion board.
 
Tantum_ergo said:
Again you are in my prayers but not only are you doing something wrong, when --and it will be when–your crime is discovered you will not only have to pay back what you took, but your family members will be in the same situation as before you made this decision, and you may possibly be in jail with no way to help at all. Do you really think that stealing is the only way? You have totally explored every other source in your city, state, and the federal government? You have tried to set up fundraisers to help defray medical expenses? You’ve looked into experimental or paid treatments? You’ve asked help through your church and diocese? You did all that ‘before’ you decided to steal from the government?

Suppose that not just you, but hundreds of other ‘yous’ decided to steal money this way. Well, that’s money that your state or federal government no longer have to give to anybody else, right? And even though you claim you’re living simply and just taking the ‘minimum’ to get by, what if some or all of the other people are taking MORE than they need. . .which again, is money that now isn’t available for people who are in need but who are playing by the RULES. . .

I urge you to speak to your priest. Your family is indeed in my prayers.
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Well, I wont speak to MY priest about it because he respects me as a “pillar of the community” and would lose his respect which would hurt him. I will try to find another priest who doesn’t know me. However, my thievery is just a drip in the bucket compared to thieves in the big banks who’ve stolen billions of dollars even trillions from our government. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to the corporations who export all their manufacturing jobs overseas for their cheap labor and reap the profits. Which is worse, stealing a cookie or stealing a billion dollars in toxic loans? My sin is a mortal sin because it consists of grave matter, I understand it completely and I do it of my free will. Maybe my free will…I feel forced to do this to protect my family - so maybe not my free will. But even if it wasn’t mortal sin, which it probably is anyway knowing my luck, I should talk to a priest if I can find one who has the time.
 
your refusal to confess has blinded you to the mercy of the Lord. He provides for all our needs and we have to trust Him. If you don’t go to confession, you will need to stop going to mass or at least stop taking communion. You can’t receive communion living in a state of mortal sin.

Please, for the sake of your family and for your soul, bring this to a priest. Do you trust Jesus? He’s not just there for your soul, He’s here to supply our physical needs as well.

I will pray for you. Pray that God refreshes your faith. I can’t imagine the darkness you feel surrounded by and the depth of your agony. Remember two things–Satan likes to blind you to the light of truth and keep you in darkness and despair. Jesus is the Light of Truth and He defeated Satan at Calvary.

Eternal Father, we offer you the body, blood, soul and divinity of your dearly beloved Son our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

Brother, I pray for you.
 
Edmundus1581 said:
It’s better to know where you stand with the Church, than to continue guessing and fearing the worst - perhaps unnecessarily. So, as others have suggested, I recommend that you speak to a priest about this. The very worst that can happen is that he will tell you that you can’t be absolved unless you intend to stop taking this disability pension - so, if you don’t intend to do that, then you remain in the same state of as before - but at least you know now where you stand.

I once had to confess a sin where some action of recompense might have been required by my priest. He recommended that I make the action. I told him that I wouldn’t (not in defiance, but in honesty), and explain why. He absolved me anyway. It’s the priests decision, in persona Christi, to make this decision.
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Ditto.
Would like to add that my wife comes across a lot of scams working at FEMA/DHS and sends them to recoup. Some folks end up having to pay back tens of thousands. Don’t wait until it balloons up like that cause they will catch you eventually. Though goverment workers have a bad reputation, some are very diligent in their jobs. You don’t want that kind of heat.
 
Tantum_ergo said:
The priest does not have the power to force you to give the money back, tell the agency you lied, etc. :“Seal of the confessional” means he cannot speak of this to the authorities. Why not try talking to your priest and see what the options might be?

And. . .not to be alarmist. . .you can’t think that there is NO chance this couldn’t be found out unless you ‘confess’ right? I mean, somebody at the agency could find out you lied at any time. . .and then what? You’d face all the problems plus you wouldn’t have tried to make it ‘right’ by talking with the priest.
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Ah but if one is unrepentant and refuses to avoid committing a sin then the priest may withhold absolution. I am pretty sure he would have to withhold it.
 
buddycharlie said:
Of course the priest cannot force me to do anything. However for the confession to be valid, one must make reparation to correct the damage the sin has caused. Which means I would be obligated to return the money - many thousands of dollars - and confess this to the agency as well.
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If you would be obligated to do so, you are already obligated to do so whether you go to confession or not.

But the priest cannot set as a condition of absolution that you turn yourself in. You never know, he may even have some advice about how to get out of the situation without harming your family. The Church is used to helping people.

And even if rectifying the situation does cause you some discomfort, it would be for the best. I cannot, of course, make any comment about your state of salvation, but if it is as you say, then continuing as you are would be trading a relatively small amount of time in comfort for an eternity. (Any amount of time is relatively small compared to eternity.)

Of course, it may be that you are seeing things as more serious than they are, but the best person to advise you about that would be your priest.
 
As others have mentioned, the problem is not so much that you would be forced to make reparations or confess to the authorities about what you did; a priest cannot make you do this as part of a penance. The problem is that you appear to be willing to continue this sin and continue to steal from the government.

A priest cannot absolve you from a sin which you have no intention of stopping because you aren’t really sorry and hypothetically, even if you were to be absolved, the minute you walk out of the confessional you would be right back in a state of mortal sin because you are still committing the same sin.

The only defense I can think of is I have heard St. Thomas Aquinas stated it is not a sin to steal to eat if it is absolutely necessary for survivial but only if there is absolutey no other way. This is a very rare situaton. From what you describe it does not appear you have exhausted your options. You have not asked for help from your diocese or others or sought fundraising. Even if it is humbling and humiliating, it is my understanding that you must take all possible courses of action before resorting to stealing, and I may have even misunderstood what Aquinas stated and therefore this may be no defense at all.
 
Speaking with a priest is a good idea. I feel for you. I can relate to the pressure that you feel. You are not expected to repay with money that you don’t have. You will have to atone one way or the other.

On a personal note, I was in a similar circumstance, owing ill gotten money to a large entity. I was told that repaying my little money to the large entity would probably cost them more in accounting trouble than I was repaying. They are not set up to receive money “out of the blue.” Instead, I repaid in another way when I was able.

Please have faith. There is a way out of this. You really are going to want to return to the sacraments. You are missing out on the most important things in life - The body and blood of Christ.

How is your prayer life? Work on it.
 
Not only do you not want to wait til you get caught…

but you do not want to wait til death catches you.

One must find another way.

So you can return to the Sacraments…etc

In Christ is our* true life* You want to be living in him…such is the most important for you and your family. One must find other ways to support them…etc

Make an appointment with a priest…you may not yet be able to confess (one can not until one is resolved to avoid the mortal sins …and yes one would also intend to do reparation …you can discuss how with him…) but you can ask him for a confidential conversation etc
 
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