I can't be a godparent and I'm about to break canon law -- what should I do?

[Phemie]

Baptismal sponsors (Godparents) are to present such evidence that they are confirmed etc and living the Catholic Life. That is PART of the preparation.

I have to say that that all depends where you live. The priest never asked for anything from my sponsors when our children were baptized and I’ve been in my present parish 17 years and they never ask for anything here either. I am on the baptismal prep team and we were never instructed to ask for anything. Even the bishop told me to accept people at face value when I questioned him on the subject.

 

[Kaliaa]

So here you have various people giving you all different kinds of advice. Some of it wrong, some of it right. The point is YOU KNOW IT’S WRONG. You are now considering a whole plan to do something you know is wrong and then attempt to right it later? Don’t you think compounding the sin is the wrong way to go? Do you hear the people telling you it’s the wrong thing to do? Your conscience is right. The people who are telling you it’s wrong are correct.

The only viable answer, is to witness to your faith by talking to the priest. He is the one who can officially help you with this situation. If you do not do that, then the only faithful option is to bow out of being one of the official godparents. It’s as simple as that. It’s when we start trying to get around what we know is right that we just dig the hole deeper so to speak. Do you think you’ll really enjoy the moment of this baptism and be able to fully, joyfully participate when you know your part in it is a lie? I think it’s likely to ruin it for you and that would be worse than being honest. A clear conscience is always better.

GO to the priest.

I’ll be praying for you.

 

[Bookcat]

Here are the requirements in Canon Law:

SPONSORS

Can. 872 Insofar as possible, a person to be baptized is to be given a sponsor who assists an adult in Christian initiation or together with the parents presents an infant for baptism. A sponsor also helps the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it.

Can. 873 There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each.

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2Y.HTM

That is what is required for a person to be a Sponsor for Baptism.

 

[Phemie]

I never meant to imply that not mentioning it was correct. I just was responding to those who said that he must have had to provide proof that he was eligible to be a sponsor.

 

[Gorgias]

You seem to be talking about something that “might happen” or “could actually happen.”
I’m talking about something that does happen. Frequently. Commonly. All the time.

Sadly, you’re right. It does happen all the time. There are many priests who are tired of fighting the battles with parents and prospective godparents, and they just give up and let people do whatever they want.

However, that doesn’t mean that it’s right. Now, don’t get me wrong: the validity of the baptism isn’t in question here – if Saddam Hussein stepped up to the font as godfather, the baptism would still be valid; it’s just that Hussein would invalidly be presenting himself in that role.

What should have happened is that the parish should have asked the OP to produce documentation or sign a form which asks him to affirm that he’s been baptized, received First Communion and Confirmation, is a practicing Catholic in good standing in his parish, and (if married), then married in a ceremony recognized as valid by the Catholic Church. If they did this, and the OP signed, then it might not be a bad idea for him to go to the priest and let him know that he was not forthcoming and honest when he signed the form. On the other hand, it’s not unheard of that some priests ignore this requirement (or their staff does, and don’t let him in on that fact – (yes, Virginia, some people confuse ‘pastoral sensitivity’ with ‘letting people do whatever they want to do’)).

Perhaps the best course of action for Triflelfert is to go to the priest and let him know that, as much as he wants to be a godfather, he knows that he is not eligible at the moment. The priest will have some sort of reaction, but we don’t know what that is.

The sad truth is that he might be one of those priests who ignores Church discipline on this subject. :sad_yes:

If that’s the case, then Triflefert should make it a priority to enter into a program of preparation for confirmation (often, that will mean being lumped into an RCIA program). In that way, he’ll know that he’s not only done his best to do the right thing now, but he’ll also be confirmed well before his godson knows the details of the issue.

Here’s the real issue: godparents don’t exist in order for parents to honor their friends or family members; they don’t exist for the sake of identifying foster parents (should they die before their children are grown); they exist in order for the child to have a role model in living a Christian life. Godparents model the way that we should live as Catholic Christians. That means that they receive all the sacraments; that means that they practice their faith; that means that they enter into their vocation in the way that the Church teaches. That’s what a godparent really is.

 

[pianistclare]

At our parish, if the person in question is well known to the priest, not a lot of questions or documents are required.
Most of the time, they are not well know, being people from another parish or even another state.
We ask for proof of a Catholic marriage and a letter from their pastor stating they are practicing Catholics in good standing. Also, they must attend a class for Baptism prep to ensure that they know the gravity of what they are agreeing to.
Often, a family will want someone that clearly doesn’t have these things.
That person become the Christian witness and a member of the parish who is a close friend steps in to “godparent”. That person’s name is in the register, and the other person does not feel slighted and is able to take part in the Baptism proudly.

That’s why I asked is he was the SOLE sponsor for the child. It will make a difference. If the other person is in good standing, then, no fuss.
If he’s the ONLY one…then YES, he must run it by the Pastor. Even if he is not cleared, there is no reason to postpone the Baptism or festivities.
What’s more important here? That child should be Baptized in a timely fashion.
Anyone can be involved in a child’s life as a good Catholic influence.
Anyone can pray for this child’s soul each day of his life.
A suitable God-parent can be found. And this man can most likely be a positive influence in this child’s religious development, offering prayers and support.

SEE THE PRIEST. Don’t delay. HE will figure it out in the proper way for the child’s sacramental life.

 

[Vico]

I am a baptized Roman Catholic. And I am actually very serious about my beliefs. I’m just not confirmed yet. By the time I was supposed to get confirmed, I was an agnostic. I only converted afterwards, and unfortunately I still haven’t gotten confirmed.

The family (MY family, actually) knows I am not confirmed. But I don’t think they know that it’s a requirement for being a godfather. The problem is that they are not – I might say – as serious about the faith as I am. I am afraid that telling them that now will only result in their getting upset and insisting that I be the godfather. And then I don’t think I’ll be able to say no to them, because everything is all set already. If I don’t attend it as godfather, I’ll embarrass everyone, and in the end I really want the child to be baptized into the Catholic faith. And I am also scared that if I tell them about this situation, they’ll insist on going on with it (as I said) and, if it’s a mortal sin to break canon law under such circumstances, they’ll all get in mortal sin because they won’t be excused by ignorance anymore. And considering the fact that they’re lukewarm or “modern” catholics, they probably won’t confess it or won’t care about it. After all, they know that I am very serious about the Catholic faith and that I’m actually the best choice for godparent now.

I’m getting desperate.

CIC (Latin Canon Law)CHAPTER IV.
SPONSORS

Can. 872 Insofar as possible, a person to be baptized is to be given a sponsor who assists an adult in Christian initiation or together with the parents presents an infant for baptism. A sponsor also helps the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it.

Can. 873 There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each.

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;
2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;
3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;
4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;
5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.
§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.
​

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

I would say talk to the priest that is going to perform the baptism, and also contact the Bishop’s office of the Diocese where the baptism is taking place.

 

[Inquiringperson]

OP, I am going to be a blunt…
TALK TO YOUR PRIEST!!!
Do not look for answers to this on the internet- no one here is qualified to advise you.

dans0622 is a canon lawyer though. He can advise the OP

Look -you need to simply bring the matter to the Priest (and perhaps even the Chancery of the Diocese). I doubt it is something that can be dispensed. But I am not a canon lawyer or a Bishop!

Baptismal sponsors (Godparents) are to present such evidence that they are confirmed etc and living the Catholic Life. That is PART of the preparation.

So it will simply fall upon the Priest to now tell you “you cannot be”. Then it will be out of your hands…as it really is out of your hands.

This is a very very very serious role you have been asked to take on. You do not want to enter it in a way that is contrary to the very role your seeking to carry out. You are to be an example of Christian life to this little child. And it begins here by acting in truth. Even if it means you will not be able to be his formal Godparent. It will mean that you are ALREADY witnessing the to him how to live as a Christian - obedient.

(It it may be simply the case that if someone is not confirmed…they do not in fact even become the Godparent…so they then would be acting out further untruth as the child grows up…)

One does not have to be a Godparent to be an example and guide for this child.

You will DO MORE by being obedient and accepting that you cannot take on that role (unless it is something that can be dispensed by the Bishop) - by being truthful and manifesting to the Church the reality that you are not confirmed. Then live in joy and truth. And let the Priest tell those involved that you cannot be a sponsor due to not yet being confirmed. That is his job…and a normal thing that happens all the time. Tell him perhaps of the pastoral difficulties that may be involved.

On your side - simply be truthful and faithful and joyful and loving and peaceful and an example to all of Christian life.

And again…simply …personally bring the matter to the Priest.

Actually, I think the OP should bring this matter to the bishop, as Dan the Canon Lawyer believes this requirement can be dispensed.

Hello,

I admire your desire to follow the law, which you correctly understand in this case: a sponsor is to be confirmed (c. 874). In my opinion, you can be dispensed from this requirement by the diocesan bishop. I suggest you try to get in touch with him (via the diocesan chancery, I imagine) to lay out all the facts and see if he is willing to dispense you. This is a favor so it is not automatic.

If nothing happens and you are an “illicit” sponsor, you would cease to be illicit once you are confirmed.

As far as mortal sin and canon law, some laws concern grave matter and so their violation can indeed result in a mortal sin. But, for this issue, I don’t think it is grave matter and you are not wantonly, willingly breaking the law. So, I’d not worry about a possible sin.

Dan

Triflefirt, I think you should try calling the diocese chancery. Or you could try emailing someone in the diocese that you know will respond. (I’ve received replies from my diocese, the Diocese of Phoenix, when I emailed the general email from the contact us link. I’ve also received replies from the vocation director)

 

[Thomas_White]

I don’t think the priest knows it. My family knows I’m not confirmed, but I don’t think they know Canon Law forbids non-confirmed catholics form being godparents. I am scared. I don’t even know whether the parish priest knows Canon Law (really, it’s hard to find priests with that kind of knowledge here, unfortunately). Or perhaps he does, but then he doesn’t know that I’m not confirmed.

By “it’s all set” I mean that baptism is set to happen in that date, and the celebration is all set too, invites have been sent, a lot of people are already involved. I am terribly scared now.

Well, since your are terribly scared of course you should talk to the priest. I believe he could even arrange for your confirmation.