I Cant Confess

[MaryandJesus]

This has been eating me up. I am baptized and have recieved First Communion, but not First Reconciliation. I can’t reiceve that sacrament and Confirmation until high school, how can I feel better until then? My family doesn’t attend church often, I asked them to and we went a few times but stopped. I’d love to attend daily. I pray every single day.

 

[Monica4316]

This has been eating me up. I am baptized and have recieved First Communion, but not First Reconciliation. I can’t reiceve that sacrament and Confirmation until high school, how can I feel better until then? My family doesn’t attend church often, I asked them to and we went a few times but stopped. I’d love to attend daily. I pray every single day.

sorry I don’t know much about this because I converted to Catholicism as an adult so I am not sure what process people go through if they are younger…

is there a reason why you can not receive your first Reconciliation? My understanding was that you get baptized as a baby, then have your first Confession and Communion, and then get confirmed in high school. Is there a reason why this was different for you?

If you have any mortal sins you should definitely confess them before receiving the Eucharist.

That is great that you want to go to Church and pray daily

God bless

 

[MaryandJesus]

sorry I don’t know much about this because I converted to Catholicism as an adult so I am not sure what process people go through if they are younger…

is there a reason why you can not receive your first Reconciliation? My understanding was that you get baptized as a baby, then have your first Confession and Communion, and then get confirmed in high school. Is there a reason why this was different for you?

If you have any mortal sins you should definitely confess them before receiving the Eucharist.

That is great that you want to go to Church and pray daily

God bless

i cant get FR because I’m 13 and I cannot drive myself to church to get the sacrament. I cannot physically go. i hate it!

 

[Maureen1125]

You should not be receiving communion if you have not received reconciliation 1st. My son is 10 and received this sacrament in 2nd grade roughly 3mths before 1st communion.

When I was little, it was the opposite. I received 1st communion in 2nd grade but 1st reconciliation wasn’t until 4th grade as most 7-8yr olds really don’t have any sins to confess, but that was before kids started taking guns to school and shooting kids just because.

You need to talk to your parents as well as your Priest. It maybe that there is a faithful parishioner in your neighborhood that would love to ride you to mass with them. Your Priest would be a great resource in finding you an Adult to mentor you in your faith

 

[SonCatcher]

Just pray for your family for now. I understand that it is difficult to be raised in a nominal family. Just hang in there as best you can.

If you have a Catholic friend near you, maybe you can arrange to go to Mass with them, too.

 

[puzzleannie]

This has been eating me up. I am baptized and have recieved First Communion, but not First Reconciliation. I can’t reiceve that sacrament and Confirmation until high school, how can I feel better until then? My family doesn’t attend church often, I asked them to and we went a few times but stopped. I’d love to attend daily. I pray every single day.

the people who prepared you for first Communion were very wrong in not preparing you for first confession and seeing to it that you had the opportunity for confession before 1st Communion. That is not your fault. All you have to do is simply go to your priest, tell him they never told you about confession, and you want to confess now. He will guide you through it. No fear. No absolutely you do not have to wait for Confirmation, but when that time comes, you will certainly want to go to confession before that sacrament.

Remind your parents that you know it is a sin to miss Mass and ask them to take you, for your sake (not accusing them of sin of course). Ask every week until they get the message. Remember Jesus does not hold you accountable for the failure of your parents to take care of your religious formation. Don’t accuse, don’t blame, don’t judge, just ask them every week to take you to confession and Mass, not in a nagging way, but a way that lets them know how important it is to you. Until then, spend a little time before bed each night to think about your day, ask God to forgive you for anything you have done, forgive in your heart your parents and anyone else who has hurt you, thank him for the blessings of the day, and ask him to show you what he wants you to do tomorrow. Then say the Our Father and sleep in peace.

 

[TimothyH]

i cant get FR because I’m 13 and I cannot drive myself to church to get the sacrament. I cannot physically go. i hate it!

Something went screwy. As other’s have said, you should not have recieved communion until you made first reconcillation.

I’d call the Church and explain it to whomever answers the phone and ask for a priest to call you back. If your parents will permit, I’m sure there is someone who would be willing to pick you up and give you a ride to the church. Man, I’d jump at the chance to assist anyone who wants to make a first reconcillation.

The fact that you hate your current condition shows your contrition and love for God and tells us something about your character. Just continue to honory your mother and father and do not argue with them. Jesus was obedient and respectful to his parents so obey the fourth commandment and be respectful to your mom and dad. In the mean time, learn all you can about our Catholic faith and continue to pray.

The worst thing that can happen is you have to wait a few years until you get a car and can drive yourself. Then the problem will be solved.

-Tim-

 

[BKulash_eski]

Someone said to talk to your priest, this is good advice. I am guessing that it is too far to walk. Keep praying and I will pray for you. It is a difficult thing when your parents appear to be unsupportive of something so possitive, keep praying and God will answer your prayers.

 

[Maureen1125]

Check your Parish Website. My Parish publishes the weekly bulletin on-line and they post “ride share” opportunites and appeals. How far away is your parish from your home? Is there a closer parish you could get to? If it is too far to walk in a resonable amount of time, how about riding a bike, or taking the bus?

As a minor it is not your fault if your parents choose not to take you to mass. You could try talking to them a few day in advance…like on Thursday at dinner, you could mention that you would really like to go to mass this weekend and could they please take you. Give them the mass times for Saturday evening as well as Sunday so that they can see if a certain time works best.

I am in Baltimore, Maryland…if you are in my area, I would certainly help you out

 

[MaryandJesus]

Thank u everyone for your help…
it’s just my parents won’t go. I asked a couple months ago, and they took me a few times, but quit and won’t go anymore. i have no Catholic friends or relatives to take me. There is no church within walking distance. Sadly, I might have to wait until high school to drive myself or just go to Mass in my heart.

 

[SonCatcher]

It’s unfortunate that so many are quick to judge the order of sacraments.

There is nothing wrong with receiving First Communion before First Reconciliation.

First Communion requires only that the recipient be baptized. In the Eastern Catholic churches, this happens in the same liturgy as Baptism and Chrismation (Confirmation). The fact that we in the West withhold First Communion until later is a matter of discipline only.

Reconciliation, however, requires the penitent to have achieved the use of reason. There is no such requirement for receiving the Eucharist.

Even in the West, which is received first, Communion or Reconciliation, is largely a local issue. Certainly, it is preferable that children receiving Communion for the first time understand that their souls must be cleansed through Reconciliation. That doesn’t mean they have any sins to confess, however.

MaryandJesus, your desire to go to Mass and to confess both come to you through the Eucharist. Rejoice in that. Until you are able to attend Mass on your own, you can make an Act of Spiritual Communion to give you some of the grace you currently miss (Spiritual Communion does not require Confession but does not fully replace the Sacrament of Communion).

In the meantime, perhaps your family will be open to at least attending Easter, Christmas and perhaps the occasional Sunday in between, so don’t give up on them.

 

[puzzleannie]

It’s unfortunate that so many are quick to judge the order of sacraments.

There is nothing wrong with receiving First Communion before First Reconciliation.

First Communion requires only that the recipient be baptized. In the Eastern Catholic churches, this happens in the same liturgy as Baptism and Chrismation (Confirmation). The fact that we in the West withhold First Communion until later is a matter of discipline only.
.

the canon law in the Western rite however provides that the child must be given the opportunity for first confession before first communion. It is certainly not the child’s fault, or the parents, if the people in charge did not take care of this.

 

[5Loaves]

Thank u everyone for your help…
it’s just my parents won’t go. I asked a couple months ago, and they took me a few times, but quit and won’t go anymore. i have no Catholic friends or relatives to take me. There is no church within walking distance. Sadly, I might have to wait until high school to drive myself or just go to Mass in my heart.

If transportation is a problem contact the parish office and explain this to them. Often parishioners are specifically involved in assisting with transportation. That would be possible for getting to Confession/Reconciliation also. This is a nice way to come to know some other people in the parish. (There may be some issues about being alone with someone in a car so be sure they know your age. Anyone involved in such service should have been trained in the “Safe Environments” programs we all are required to receive now for the protection of minors and the vulnerable.)

 

[Maureen1125]

Do you have cable or satellite at home? You could watch mass on Sunday morning.

Also, tell your parents that they don’t have to stay with you, they just need to come back in 1 hour and pick you up. It might work out that your Mom can do her weekly grocery shopping while you are at mass.

 

[puzzleannie]

no parish staff and volunteers cannot transport minors without specific permission from parents, signed waivers, proper insurance and a lot of other caveats. The advice stands, pray for your parents, ask humbly but persistently each week for them to take you to confession and Mass. Confession is usually Saturday afternoon before the evening Mass, so that would be most convenient. You are chosen to evangelize your parents so offer up the suffering you are having now for their conversion, and above all be an obedient, humble, cheerful child to them at all times to demonstrate how deeply you are trying to live with Christ.

 

[mangy_dog]

Thank u everyone for your help…
it’s just my parents won’t go. I asked a couple months ago, and they took me a few times, but quit and won’t go anymore. i have no Catholic friends or relatives to take me. There is no church within walking distance. Sadly, I might have to wait until high school to drive myself or just go to Mass in my heart.

I’m truly sorry for the situation you find yourself in,

Pray for your parents and keep the faith alive by having a life of prayer and a life of the spirit - in joyful anticipation of the day you participate of the sacraments as it should be.

It will be that much sweeter when the day comes.

God bless you my child.

 

[5Loaves]

no parish staff and volunteers cannot transport minors without specific permission from parents, signed waivers, proper insurance and a lot of other caveats.

You’ve been more explicit than I was in my post. This can and is obtained all the time for various situations in a parish. I suggested it is an option. There are many problems that come up “when the Chrism has dried”. People disappear after coming into full communion, or after being Baptized Catholic. The parish who did their original catechesis and sacraments does have some place in continuing their formation. It’s OPs choice if s/he wants to ask them for help.

 

[CB_Catholic]

If transportation is a problem contact the parish office and explain this to them. Often parishioners are specifically involved in assisting with transportation. That would be possible for getting to Confession/Reconciliation also. This is a nice way to come to know some other people in the parish. (There may be some issues about being alone with someone in a car so be sure they know your age. Anyone involved in such service should have been trained in the “Safe Environments” programs we all are required to receive now for the protection of minors and the vulnerable.)

This is all fine and good, but if I were the parents I certainly would not allow her to ride alone anywhere with a stranger, even if they were from the church. One cannot be too careful these days. The “Safe Environments” programs and others like it are great, but these adults are working with groups of children usually, or are working in an open environment where others are around. Having a stranger pick up your child and take them to church is another matter altogether.

 

[5Loaves]

This is all fine and good, but if I were the parents I certainly would not allow her to ride alone anywhere with a stranger, even if they were from the church. One cannot be too careful these days. The “Safe Environments” programs and others like it are great, but these adults are working with groups of children usually, or are working in an open environment where others are around. Having a stranger pick up your child and take them to church is another matter altogether.

Who said anything about riding alone? I don’t think that’s ever permitted. There’s more involved than simply going through the training and being cleared from the Megan’s list etc. I said s/he could ask the parish secretary who would be the conduit for any possible help. They are the ones who know the specific protocols.

 

[Bbigam]

It’s unfortunate that so many are quick to judge the order of sacraments.

There is nothing wrong with receiving First Communion before First Reconciliation.

First Communion requires only that the recipient be baptized. In the Eastern Catholic churches, this happens in the same liturgy as Baptism and Chrismation (Confirmation). The fact that we in the West withhold First Communion until later is a matter of discipline only.

Reconciliation, however, requires the penitent to have achieved the use of reason. There is no such requirement for receiving the Eucharist.

Even in the West, which is received first, Communion or Reconciliation, is largely a local issue. Certainly, it is preferable that children receiving Communion for the first time understand that their souls must be cleansed through Reconciliation. That doesn’t mean they have any sins to confess, however…

It’s entirely appropriate to be Baptized/Confirmed/receive First Communion all at once without Confession, because Baptism washes away all sins. This is the case with infants in the Eastern Churches as you note; it’s also the case with adults coming into the Church through Baptism in both Eastern and Western Rites.

But the Western, or at least Roman, tradition is Baptism as an infant and First Communion at the age of reason (Confirmation varies from just before First Communion to much later, such as high school). Since these kids are receiving First Communion at the age of reason, and have been Baptized years before, they must be prepared for Confession as part of the preparation for First Communion. I suppose a kid could go into the Confessional and have nothing to say; but if a kid is sent to First Communion without any opportunity for Confession, and good catechesis on the importance of Confession before Communion, then that’s teaching them that it’s okay to receive Communion regardless of the state of the soul. Not a good start for a kid’s catechesis!