I can't find a Catholic boyfriend…

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I am currently a female teenager and I am seeking a potential boyfriend. I like religion and reading about apologetics, I go to confession often, I try go to mass every Sunday, and my family is very traditional and strict on dating. I currently go to a very *un-catholic public school where I am mocked about my religion but I can’t find ANY good catholic boys. If I ever do they aren’t into religion and they are very liberal :(. My family is conservative and if I don’t find a good one soon, my family could probably say I’m not allowed to date since no one is available. My church has a youth group but it’s only 2 weeks old which doesn’t help since no one knows about it. Where can I find a good catholic boy?
 
Well, as soon as you go to college or turn 18 your parents don’t have much say in whether you date or not. So you could just wait.

I think most of the advice you are going to get here (at least from what I’ve seen) is that generally folks shouldn’t date while still teenagers. Because the reason for dating is to find a suitable person to marry. If you are dating just date or because everyone else is, then there is a problem. And as a teenager, you can’t really make that decision as easily. And you probably won’t be getting married anytime soon. Of course, I suppose it all depends on your age. If you’re 17-18, maybe. 15-16, probably not.

Don’t let the folks at school pressure you into dating or having a boyfriend either. How many of them will stick with their boyfriend after they graduate? Hardly any I’ll bet (there are exceptions but they are just that: exceptions). I’m not trying to dampen everything here. But having a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend should not be the goal.
 
Good for you for seeing the importance of dating at your age. It is good experience. Others will say you shouldn’t date unless you are ready for marriage. I couldn’t disagree more. Through dating you learn about other people and a lot about yourself. The experience of having dated (hopefully frequently) by the time you are ready to choose a spouse is going to help you decide what you are looking for, and what you are will to offer of yourself.

I don’t know much about your situation, so I will just offer a little advice that might help. Put out the word that you are open to meeting new people and making new friends. Don’t be afraid to let someone “fix you up” if they have your best interest at heart and know what values matter to you. At your age, the best thing would be a family dinner where you and your “blind date” are both invited. Low risk, and not awkward.

And lastly, remember you will probably have to date more than a few people before you find “the one”. There is nothing wrong with this. It is a good thing.
 
Yeah. How old are you?
Honestly, finding a date isn’t nearly as important as doing well in school and obeying your parents.
You have loads of time. I suspect when yo go to college the Newman Center (Catholic center) will be filled with nice young men who share your interests.
No rush.
Casual dating is just that. CASUAL, not finding a boyfriend. Go out in small groups and get to know how to interact with all kinds of people, social skills, just plain fun.
Finding “the one” is a very low priority at this stage of your life.
This is the time to work on YOURSELF not a relationship.
 
pianistclare said:
Casual dating is just that. CASUAL, not finding a boyfriend. Go out in small groups and get to know how to interact with all kinds of people, social skills, just plain fun.
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I agree with this. There is loads of time. Focus now on becoming the adult you want to be, and friendship. As you get older, one of these friendships may blossom into the kind of relationship that could be marriage. But you don’t need something super serious and exclusive yet.

It can be hard if you mature faster than your peers. This was the case for me. I found that once I went to college there was a much larger group of boys/men that I had something in common with. I began dating my husband just before I turned 19, after lamenting all through high school that there wasn’t anyone suitable. (I’m now 31, so this wasn’t ages and ages ago…though it’s starting to feel like it!) So you never know!
 
Traditional_Catholic said:
I am currently a female teenager and I am seeking a potential boyfriend. I like religion and reading about apologetics, I go to confession often, I try go to mass every Sunday, and my family is very traditional and strict on dating. I currently go to a very *un-catholic public school where I am mocked about my religion but I can’t find ANY good catholic boys. If I ever do they aren’t into religion and they are very liberal :(. My family is conservative and if I don’t find a good one soon, my family could probably say I’m not allowed to date since no one is available. My church has a youth group but it’s only 2 weeks old which doesn’t help since no one knows about it. Where can I find a good catholic boy?
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If you’re in high school, it’s very unlikely that you’re going to find a fantastic Catholic boyfriend, just because your freedom of movement and your social pool is small.

I agree with pianistclare that you’ll have a better shot in college, once you have a more concentrated pool of possibles. However, that said, dating is often delayed a lot in your generation, and it wouldn’t surprise me if you were heavily involved with Catholic stuff in college and still didn’t meet a nice boy who was interested in you. Again, dating is very delayed in your generation, and a lot of good people don’t work up the courage to start dating until their early or mid-20s. Once you’re that age, I would suggest a more aggressive approach, but for the moment, be a good kid and focus on school and friends.

You’re getting concerned much too early.
 
Also, let’s say you met an awesome Catholic boyfriend right now and that both of you are 15. That would mean a solid 7+ years of not being able to get married. That’s not really a recipe for chastity, I have to say.
 
On the other hand, let’s say you met somebody nice at 22, having finished college and started a good job.

You could be married within a year.
 
Traditional_Catholic said:
Where can I find a good catholic boy?
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You don’t need a boyfriend. You are a teenager. Focus on friendships, on doing things in groups.

You have many years ahead of you with school. Dating is for discernment of marriage. Most teens are not in such a position and won’t be for a few years.

You will finish high school and go to college, a trade school, or into work after high school. Your horizons will broaden and you will meet new people.

Many boys your age are not interested in the things you are interested in. You will meet a larger circle of people when you are older.

Don’t be in such a hurry to date.
 
It’s refreshing to see a girl who does not objectify boys. My son is hating that part of high school. Sadly, he’s socially awkward but has been blessed with nice looks and a nice personality. He’s discerning a religious vocation but would like girls as friends.

I agree with everyone who said that it depends on the age. With all the influence of social media, I think being friends with boys is a good first start.
 
Stick with youth group, give it time to grow. Offer to help with setting up some social media for the Youth Minister.

That is a place to find Catholic friends. They may not all be at the same place as you are in their spiritual life, they may have different political views, but that does not make them bad friends.

Do you attend your Diocesan Youth Convention?

Now is time for friends, both male and female.
 
Give it time. It can be hard to find a good Catholic boyfriend/girlfriend for a lot of people. Give this youth group time. I came into the church at 28 and I envied those in the very active youth group at my parish. Literally, dozens of teenages and folks in their early 20s. I would imagine the only reason it would be possible to not get a date there was from not wanting to date. It could be like that when your group takes off.

I did not even have my first girlfriend until I was 29 then my second when I was 32. You have so much time to get a boyfriend. I was very lonely and went through a lot of heart break and rejections trying to find a girlfriend for years. But it will most likely happen that you will get a boyfriend sooner or later. Boys your age are immature. You may not want to date anyone until later anyways. There are a lot of variables. It will always be harder to find someone outside of secular dating. It’s a price we pay as practicing Catholics. Don’t lose hope.

Also when you can afford it, catholicmatch.com can be a good way to find someone. It is how I met my current girlfriend and we have been together 1 year and 3 months now and the relationship is only getting stronger.

I also want to add I did not date at all when I was in high school. Not because I could not find someone but I was too embarrassed to ask any girl out because I was 300lbs when I was 16. It was hard seeing everyone else dating though. I did not go on my first date until I was 18 and lost 120 lbs and I did not go on a second date until I was 27 I believe. If anyone had a reason to be frustrated it was me. But years if patience did eventually pay off. Nobody really needs to date as a teenager. Hard enough to resist temptation as a adult.
 
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I’ve been to a Melkite Liturgy and it was awesome. It’s a shame that there aren’t more of the Eastern Churches in the States. I suppose you have to chalk it up to the lack of information about them. And it’s a shame because Catholicism is so diverse. In my dream world you would have one OF, one EF and at least on Eastern rite church in each diocese.
 
From my post:

“The experience of having dated (hopefully frequently) by the time you are ready to choose a spouse is going to help you decide what you are looking for, and what you are will to offer of yourself.”

Waiting to date until one is ready t o marry isn’t a “Catholic thing”, at least not in the United States. The big Catholic High Schools around me now, and where I grew up encourage dating (with chastity, of course) all the time. They have several formals during the year, as well as several activites that it is common practice to bring a date to, as a student.
 
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AdamP88 said:
If you’re a Catholic. Dating is for the purposes of finding a marriage partner. Simple as that.

What’s the point in “dating” just for fun?
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The risk is that delaying any dating until one is ready for marriage is likely to feed social anxieties.

You know how many of our younger CAFers are terrified of the opposite sex, as well as extremely unrealistic in their expectations…
 
But is dating the solution to the social anxiety? Why not just have girl friends [instead of girlfriends] if you are a guy? If you can only make friends while dating, you are in trouble.
 
Entwhistler said:
But is dating the solution to the social anxiety? Why not just have girl friends [instead of girlfriends] if you are a guy? If you can only make friends while dating, you are in trouble.
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No, but people who are anxious about dating only get more anxious about it the more time that goes by.
 
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