I cant find a catholic mate

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vstead said:
Gotcha. And im glad you mentioned premarital sex and contraception. Ive dated men some catholic who found my views on this ‘unbelieveable.’ I was a fashion model by trade. I was told that i was a lesbian, an oddball. As a model, i must enjoy being ‘a tease’ In your youth when you see everyone else doing ‘it’ and wanting to do it, you start to question whether you are ‘normal’ whether what mum and dad taught you was 'old fashioned. I mean, i knew no-one other than my family who was like-minded. Then as we all know, we reach an age when we know whats right and go from there.
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I’m always happy to hear a lady think like that (i.e. that it’s they who’ve got it wrong, not you).
 
vstead said:
Gotcha. And im glad you mentioned premarital sex and contraception. Ive dated men some catholic who found my views on this ‘unbelieveable.’ I was a fashion model by trade. I was told that i was a lesbian, an oddball. As a model, i must enjoy being ‘a tease’ In your youth when you see everyone else doing ‘it’ and wanting to do it, you start to question whether you are ‘normal’ whether what mum and dad taught you was 'old fashioned. I mean, i knew no-one other than my family who was like-minded. Then as we all know, we reach an age when we know whats right and go from there.
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That seems to be a sad trend among Catholic men, even here. I can not believe how many of them tell me they do not agree with my beliefs on waiting and contraception! :eek: And so when people ask me ( which happens quite often) “How are you still single?” I just explain that it is hard to find someone who still follows what are considered the “outdated” and “puritanical” beliefs of the Catholic church…:rolleyes:
 
LilyElain said:
That seems to be a sad trend among Catholic men, even here. I can not believe how many of them tell me they do not agree with my beliefs on waiting and contraception! :eek: And so when people ask me ( which happens quite often) “How are you still single?” I just explain that it is hard to find someone who still follows what are considered the “outdated” and “puritanical” beliefs of the Catholic church…:rolleyes:
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Ah, the old “5 out of 7”- CatholicMatch reference. I still haven’t met a Catholic man in person who is a 7 out of 7. Hee. 😃 I used to get asked while I’m still single, and I always think of some smart alex quip after they leave. D’oh.
Now people ask me when I’m getting married (my boyfriend (non-Catholic, but agrees on no sex until marriage and not using contraception) and I have been dating for about two weeks), and I say “I like to wait until the credit check clears”. 😃 👍
 
LilyElain said:
That seems to be a sad trend among Catholic men, even here. I can not believe how many of them tell me they do not agree with my beliefs on waiting and contraception! :eek: And so when people ask me ( which happens quite often) “How are you still single?” I just explain that it is hard to find someone who still follows what are considered the “outdated” and “puritanical” beliefs of the Catholic church…:rolleyes:
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Thank God there are women like you ladies here that have that attitude. Give’s me hope for future generations. My 18 year old shares your attitude also. Never “settle”.

God Bless.

CF
 
vstead said:
After answering a post with the words “My sisters husband is non practicing” I anticipated replies like ‘Why would she marry and have children with a lapsed catholic. It got me thinking again about how being roman catholic in some parts of the world, makes it harder to meet a future husband/wife.
As children, we were aware of the fact that there were no other catholics in our main area. Our friends laughed and made us feel a little embarrassed (as young children obviously). Then dating became another area where one felt different. Brought up to want to marry a fellow catholic, it would have been easier to find a needle in a haystack. I dated very nice men but not wanting to marry a non catholic, ended any future plans. So much so that my first serious relationship has occurred at age 37. And even he has been married before. (not in the church). For my sister also. At 33, she met a non practicing catholic and honestly felt she’d hit the jackpot.
Just to give you an idea of being catholic where i grew up and still live. In our catholic school, my mum was horrified that i didnt know what catechism was, had never seen a bible in school and learned about birth control. No one in my class went to church. No one i met at uni was religious.
My mum reminded me that England is not a catholic country(shes irish). But in fact in our county/state, no religion exists. To be called ’ the bible bashers’ as kids for simply going to church should give you an idea. I have travelled around the uk with jobs, and experienced exactly the same.
Just to finish. My dad used to joke that he could count in a second, how many people were at Sunday mass. We would all wait to see how long it would take him to mention the number at church this week. Somehow it doesnt seem funny anymore.
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Have you tried Catholic Singles?
 
I looked for many years as well but gave up. I learned to accept that God wants me to be single for some reason but I don’t feel called to the religious life. I just enjoy life and keep myself busy and try to find ways to do for others with the blessings God has given to me.
 
You’re not alone. I knew at a young age, I wanted to marry another Catholic. I was made to feel ashamed of this by peers. I even dated a non-Catholic in highschool who started talking about conversion. However, when he decided not to convert, I realized just how important it was for me to go to Mass as a family and how much rejecting my faith was rejecting a large portion of me. Then as I got older I began realizing I needed more than just another Catholic. I needed to marry a man who inspired my faith and led me closer to God. I didn’t want him to be competing with God at all. I wanted us supporting each other heading mutually toward God.

Everyone told me my standards were ridiculous. Meanwhile I was always felt I needed to pray for God’s will to be done in my life and to not make requests. I was afraid of hearing the answer “no.”

I ended up going to a Catholic University and while I didn’t go there in search of a spouse, I found that even being around tons of Catholic men didn’t mean you’d find your spouse. I felt the search was impossible and pretty much didn’t date. After I graduated, I joined some Catholic single’s sites on and off to try to get myself out there. I went on maybe a handful of dates but mostly it seemed fruitless.

Just before I met my husband, I found I had been lead spiritually to recognize that my heart lied in my desire to be married and that to give that portion of my heart to God meant entrusting that desire to Him. I thus just handed it over and found great peace after that. 2 months later I began corresponding with my husband on avemaria singles and we just got married this past April. I’m turning 30 on the 16th. The only boyfriend I had before him was the guy I dated in highschool, and now I look back and think of how blessed that time was of being single. That is not to say that I don’t feel blessed to have found such an amazing guy who is the answer to my prayers.

I think its important to learn to be content being single and to entrust your vocation to God. Live in the present patiently and make sure you’re serving Him now in whatever ways you can rather than waiting for life to begin after marriage.
 
vstead said:
After answering a post with the words “My sisters husband is non practicing” I anticipated replies like ‘Why would she marry and have children with a lapsed catholic. It got me thinking again about how being roman catholic in some parts of the world, makes it harder to meet a future husband/wife.
As children, we were aware of the fact that there were no other catholics in our main area. Our friends laughed and made us feel a little embarrassed (as young children obviously). Then dating became another area where one felt different. Brought up to want to marry a fellow catholic, it would have been easier to find a needle in a haystack. I dated very nice men but not wanting to marry a non catholic, ended any future plans. So much so that my first serious relationship has occurred at age 37. And even he has been married before. (not in the church). For my sister also. At 33, she met a non practicing catholic and honestly felt she’d hit the jackpot.
Just to give you an idea of being catholic where i grew up and still live. In our catholic school, my mum was horrified that i didnt know what catechism was, had never seen a bible in school and learned about birth control. No one in my class went to church. No one i met at uni was religious.
My mum reminded me that England is not a catholic country(shes irish). But in fact in our county/state, no religion exists. To be called ’ the bible bashers’ as kids for simply going to church should give you an idea. I have travelled around the uk with jobs, and experienced exactly the same.
Just to finish. My dad used to joke that he could count in a second, how many people were at Sunday mass. We would all wait to see how long it would take him to mention the number at church this week. Somehow it doesnt seem funny anymore.
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GOD BLESS VSTEAD! God Bless!!

COntrary to the whitewashing that can occur…many of us who are called to holy marriage find it a challenge to find a worthy mate of such a vocation…

GOD BLESS!!!
 
Marie5890 said:
GOD BLESS VSTEAD! God Bless!!

COntrary to the whitewashing that can occur…many of us who are called to holy marriage find it a challenge to find a worthy mate of such a vocation…

GOD BLESS!!!
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And you too 🙂
 
Neither did I. What I did find was a baptized Greek Orthodox whose parents were not very strict about it. He was open to whatever I wanted as he said that I practiced my faith more than he did. We married in the church, he attended Mass with me and we baptized our children in the Catholic church. When our youngest was about 1, he went through RCIA (of his own accord–I never asked him to) and is now in many ways more devout than me! Sometimes, just being open is enough. I wouldn’t advocate trying to change a spouse, but if you love someone of another faith and they have no objections to you practicing yours, sometimes they come along on the ride.
 
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