I can't find sorrow for this sin

[Charlotte12]

Prolifewife, I am so sorry for your heartache. I have struggled with anxiety before, and I understand how your brain can be your own worst enemy. Please try to remind yourself of this:

Jesus Christ LOVES YOU so very, very much. He LOVED YOU enough to die on the cross for you. He loves you just as much as he loves every other man, woman, and child on earth. He would never, ever do something to punish you. He doesn’t work like that.

And, because He loves you so much, He sent you the gift of a wonderful man who understands you and cares for you. He has forgiven your sins, and both you and your husband are clean and beautiful in His sight.

Rejoice, for you are the beloved daughter of the Lord!

 

[joandarc2008]

Prolifewife - here is a thought that might help - have you tried asking for the Annointing of the Sick with reference specifically to your OCD. Sometimes it can be easy to forget that it is a healing sacrament and sometimes it can be easy to forget that it can be used for psychiatric/psychological illness. BTW- your dh can also receive assuming he has had proper baptism in Trinitarian formula and it can be something you share.

I pulled this off the CAtholic Answers Website on this Sacrament - I believe it speaks to yuor situation - I have said it before - use this time in ministry to Him and not on what you have asked for:

The Value of Suffering

Sometimes God allows us to undergo sickness as a form of discipline and training in righteousness. God often permits these trials for our sanctification, as Paul himself learned when he prayed that God would remove from him an angel of Satan who was afflicting him: “And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger [Greek: angelos] of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me; but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:7–9).

Even though we must face a certain amount of suffering and affliction in this life, we know God’s grace is sufficient to sustain us. All of God’s graces, including physical health, are bestowed to lead to the salvation of our souls. The Catholic Church teaches that the sacrament brings “the restoration of health, if it is conducive to the salvation of his soul” (CCC 1532).

God also uses our suffering to help others. If Paul had not become ill while on his first missionary journey and been forced to stop traveling, he would not have preached to the Galatians, for he tells them, “You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first” (Gal. 4:13). If he had not preached to the Galatians, he would not have later written them the epistle that appears in our New Testament. God used Paul’s illness to bring salvation to the Galatians and to bring us a work of Scripture, through which we are still receiving benefits from God.

This is just one example of how God used suffering to bring about good. Therefore, if we suffer, we should look upon it as an opportunity for good, such as by offering up our sufferings for our own sanctification and for our departed brothers and sisters in Christ.

This applies also to the physical suffering of death, which will come for each of us one day. The Bible reminds us, “As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more” (Ps. 103:15–16).

 

[Ailina]

Okay, so I’m in a mixed marriage (he’s protestant, I’m catholic) and it took place in the catholic church by a catholic priest and all that.

Looking back, I realize that God probably wanted me to wait for a catholic man to marry. But I can’t seem to feel sorry that I married my protestant husband. I’m more sorry for our future children and what this might do to them, but I can’t seemingly feel sorrow for marrying my husband.

I think the reason is I really DO love him. He’s the only guy who’s ever accepted me for me. Mental and physical illnesses included. And still loved me even when he’s seen and gone through the worst of both! I talked to a small handful of catholic guys, about 5 or so, and none of them were ever interested in a long term relationship with me. Most people discover I have these illnesses and just abandon me all together. My husband has been the first person that hasn’t. He’s stuck with me through every stage of my illnesses. ER visits, hospital stays, surgeries, mental health therapy and all that entails (the good, bad, the ugly.)

But since we are supposed to marry Catholics, I can’t get this “sin” out of my mind. I really feel that God doesn’t want this and is mad at me for it. I think he’s mad at me for loving my husband more than doing his will of marrying a catholic.

And, yes, of course, I think my infertility is a sign that all this is truly God and not me.

I don’t think you are committing a sin if you were married in the Catholic Church; otherwise, the priest would never have permitted you to marry. I have plenty of non-Catholic Christian friends, and know they are sincere in their beliefs in our Lord and Savior. They also have children, so I don’t think God is punishing them for their lack of Catholicism, is he?

Besides, who knows? Maybe your husband will decide to become Catholic some day, because you have modeled the faith to him.

 

[Blenderx]

Oh Prolifewife, my heart breaks for you every time I read one of your posts. There isn’t anything laughable about your pain, nor is it obvious to anyone but yourself that you are being punished. You are so hard on yourself and you don’t deserve it one bit! We’re all sinners, many of us much worse than you, I promise. But God isn’t petty about it and that is what you are making Him out to be. Let your husband’s love and acceptance of you be a model to you for how God wishes to receive you. And how much more perfect is God’s love?

Forgive me for being so forward, but I think you would benefit from sort of behavior modification therapy to retrain your thinking away from the negative. This is a useful tool with ocd, I understand. Have you looked up the 10 commandments for the scrupulous? From the sound of it, you would benefit much from this as well. It especially isn’t good to repeat past confessions and indulge these doubts and fears. I am scrupulous too and following the rules has helped to break that cycle. Its hard, and though I still suffer many doubts, it is much better than it was.

 

[PatriceA]

Oh don’t worry I am. I know I can’t do this alone. It’s just it takes so much time to find good understanding therapists, let alone Christian ones. My therapist said she would try to help me, but being in the south, Catholics don’t abound. Catholic therapists? Needle in a haystack.

And you’d be surprised how many priests are uncomfortable around people who have mental illness and even more won’t take on such a person.

Mental illness is a long, lonely road. My husband is a saint for taking this on. I’m not sure I would have taken me on!

A good therapist doesn’t necessarily have to be Catholic. My past therapist was Jewish, I wouldn’t be where I am now without her. Honestly, I would look for a one that specializes in OCD.

A good spiritual director does not have to be a priest. Mine was a nun.

Don’t box yourself into a corner so much.

There are plenty of websites out there that specialize in OCD and/or fertility issues.

 

[monicatholic]

Thank you, Lord, for sending such a wonderful man to prolifewife.

And thank you for giving her the good sense to marry him

prolifewife, i second these beautiful prayers.

your husband*** is ***catholic. if he’s been baptized using water and the words “I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” he is.

“we believe in ONE baptism for the forgiveness of sins.” ProLW, a valid sacrament baptises the individual into the ONE body of Christ, which is fully manifested in the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church. your husband, and all our baptized separated brethern are Catholic-- they just don’t know it.

further,

believe in the mercy of God for you. it pleases HIM to be merciful to you.

you think that by agreeing to a dual religious raising for your future children you have sinned? ProLW, that’s what REPENTANCE is-- to turn around.

if God did not accept our repentance, HE would not have asked for it.

ProLW, your Heavenly Father loves you. You belong to HIM. HE accepts you. *** rest*** in HIS embrace. be still in HIS arms, and know that HE is God.

 

[monicatholic]

: :heartroLifeWife,
Your Heavenly Father loves you:heart:.
You belong to HIM.
HE accepts you.
Rest in HIS embrace.
Be still in HIS arms, and know that HE is God.