I can't get in the church!

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somepersonhere

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Would appreciate some advice. I’ve been Christian for a while and before last Easter God showed me the path back to the Catholic Church. Since then I have grown in faith and desperately want to be confirmed and receive the Eucharist.

However, I just can’t find a catholic group in my area. I just keep failing at finding real people to have fellowship with and when I have joined house groups etc. in the past I have just never bonded or found true acceptance in a Christian group.

To top it off the local priest who started catechising me is now being unresponsive so all in all it feels like I’ve been spending so much time practically begging to gain entry to the Church.

Why is it being so difficult? I am so isolated and of course keep praying for a resolution. I can’t do this on my own and need real human fellowship.

Thanks!
 
A couple details would help, are you in the US? There are different suggestions for men or women, teens or young adults, older adults, etc.
 
Thanks, everyone.

I’m in England. Major cultural issues when it comes to Catholicism over here. The Church just isn’t very strong here. Protestant groups and formation are way easier to find.

I live in a very small town and it’s hard for me to make it to the nearest city due to work and family so I really need my local church to be the first stop for me. Even so, I wouldn’t be so annoyed if my priest just said ‘sorry, I’m busy, go and join this group in the neighbouring parish’, but so far I’ve had ‘I’ll get in touch for the next session’ and I’m still waiting…

Most Catholics in general in England tend to be old and there just aren’t many young families around (again, Protestant churches are a completely different story!). Even when I struggle to get confirmed I’m still going to face the problem of simply not having any obvious place to get support.

The first Catholic church I went to in a neighbouring town also had the same issue, except the priest was completely uninterested in speaking to me or directing me to any kind of formation.

People in the Church complain how no one goes to church anymore, especially young people, but I’m at the point where I would literally beg to be let in! I’m genuinely starting to feel really desperate as my soul is crying out for full communion with the Church.
 
Sounds like there’s a case for an online/distance education format for RCIA.
 
That situation is just horrible. Makes me want to just hop on a plane and move down the street from you and journey with you until you are on your feet as a fully practicing Catholic!

All I can really do is say, contact your local priest again. And again. And again. Attend mass but do not receive the Eucharist. Come here often, let us know how you are doing. 🙂

Are you baptized? If yes, Catholic or other christian?
 
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I went through the same problem when I entered the church through RCIA. I didn’t have any Catholic friends nor relatives.

My parish offers small discussion groups, social gatherings, and retreats. You might see whether you can find groups in your parish. Check out the parish bulletin.

God bless you!
 
I think your age demographic has more to do with the rural area you’re in rather than it being a catholic thing. All our churches (I’m also in England) are full of young families too. But I live in a medium sized town. Don’t give up it’s really worth it. Get in touch with your diocesan office
 
Thank you, all!

Yes, I am intending to keep hounding people until I get in. If I die before getting a state of grace I can at least tell Jesus with honesty that I kept trying.

Originally it was foreseen that I could be confirmed at Easter and I have made clear already that I am serious about entering the Church.

I am already pretty well (self)catechised and was already christened into the Catholic Church so this should be an easy case, right?

I would love to find people and groups that are actually feasible for me to go to, but finding things to attend is like looking for unicorns where I live!
 
Literally nothing apart from a trip to Lourdes in the early summer that I can’t go to. Every week I desperately hope something will come up in the bulletins… but nothing ever does…
 
Yes, I was christened in a Catholic church as a child then grew as a Protestant later on.

So I can still go to confession? Just so I am better armed, do you have a source that I could investigate to find out more?

Thanks 🙂
 
Yes! You’re Already Catholic. You are so lucky you won’t have to sit thru weeks of PowerPoint After work like I did 😉.
 
Thanks for this, very useful!

I still find it a shame how unwelcoming I have found the Catholic Church compared to all other Protestant churches I have been to.

The first time you step foot into a Protestant church you get warmly welcomed, looked after, invited to a meal with the pastor, signed up to house groups, signed up to social groups, signed up to volunteering groups and are actively sought out by the pastoral team until they are happy you are happy. The main pastors always seem to have a gift of remembering everyone’s name, even in a congregation of 100s!

Every Catholic church I’ve been to? Cold receptions and cold responses to requests of joining in more.

I just feel it shouldn’t be such an ordeal to enter the Body of Christ and His one true Church that opens her doors to all souls in earth.
 
halogirl said:
I think your age demographic has more to do with the rural area you’re in rather than it being a catholic thing. All our churches (I’m also in England) are full of young families too. But I live in a medium sized town. Don’t give up it’s really worth it. Get in touch with your diocesan office
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I agree with this ( I am also in the UK) . Our church is absolutely packed with young families and a very vibrant youth group. At Christmas we have reps from the various groups bringing up a bauble to hang on the Christmas tree, and last year we had 60.

Mind you, there can be a downside to having a lot of young families, in that the parents are usually too busy to lend a hand in parish events. They will turn up to Garden Parties and so on, but shifting tables and making sandwiches is usually what the seniors do as someone has to, and very few young parents feel able to volunteer.
 
Where in England are you? I can recommend several parishes around the UK that will welcome you with open arms and give you, as well as education, a very warm welcome and fellowship. I don’t recognize the English catholic church that you’re describing. I grew up there and always felt a deep sense of faith and community, and still do when I return. Compared to the utter disaster here in Germany, I’d say you’ve been unlucky so far but you don’t know you’re born!
 
It’s great to hear that you and @paperwight have experienced the Church completely differently from me. It gives me hope that we may one day see a resurgence of the true faith in England once again.

I’m in the Nottingham/Derby area and have the same experience with somewhere else in the East Midlands. It’s sad that I simply cannot imagine a Catholic church full of warm, welcoming fellowship. As I said, the Protestant churches have definitely cornered that market whilst the Catholic Church has little no no public profile.
 
I’m in England too, though not in a rural area. I don’t see any cultural issues, what do you mean? Of course the church is strong here, it isn’t loud and brash though but it is strong. I’m so sorry you haven’t found it welcoming. I don’t agree one bit that most catholics are old. My church is a mixture of all…though I will say our traditional mass is the elder population as parts of it are in Latin but I love it. How funny you think most are old and that that’s bad!! But certain areas may attract certain age groups, young people don’t tend to stick around in small towns that’s true of many countries. I am not British and didn’t grow up here. I did grow up in a small town and left to go to university when I was 18. See my point? So you want to live there then deal with whatever age group is in your local parish. Older people are lovely, we can learn a lot from them. The parish will need new people too. Have you been to your local catholic church? Are they really all old or a mix? Met your priest? Been to mass? God bless you
 
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I completely agree that age isn’t an issue, I understand how that came across. What I’m trying to say is that I would love to be around people of my own age as well as this would be invaluable to me who doesn’t have any other Catholics to face the same modern life issues with. If that’s not possible I would of course be grateful to spend time with older people. The point is that I am finding it hard to integrate with ANYONE for various reasons and then I look to more modern churches that seem to have it all (apart from sound doctrine!) even in areas like mine.

It looks like I was wrong to assume that the issues I am facing are as a result of England not having a (modern) Catholic tradition and therefore a shallow pool of Catholic communities. Despite my struggles, I am happy that this is not actually the case nationally!

You are right: the parish will need new people too. That is what is upsetting me so much. Why am I finding it hard to get in? I desperately want to be known and make a contribution… I asked the priests in 2 different churches and they both said that there aren’t really any community groups I could join and then just left me to it. No opportunities to meet the community, no house groups… just mass and a mother’s group from time to time.
 
somepersonhere said:
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Being part of the Church does not require you to be part of a specific group. Unless a priest commanded you to be in one.
Private prayer, attending the Liturgy, doing what the priest advises you to do is the necessary means to come back to the Church.
Am I wrong here? St Peter said that the Liturgy is not for socialization.
And of course… expect the Enemy to oppose you all He can.
You can’t condition your return to the Church to being given enough social encouragement as you (think you) need. It has to be for God and your soul not for joining a cool party.
 
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