I can't get over my past

[AndyF]

Lutherans have a sacrament of penance don’t they?

Any baptized christian can go to confession. The prerequisites and attitude still apply.

AndyF

 

[a_priori]

I feel so horrible. My husband and I had an abortion about 7 years ago - we were married. Things weren’t good then. I was on the pill (I know that was wrong too) and just took a test for the heck of it - I wasn’t even late or anything. It was positive and I was completely shocked and scared. Like I said, we didn’t have a good marriage and we would argue and he would tell me to just go and get an abortion. He didn’t realy mean it but he was mad and would say whatever he could to hurt me. After what felt like the millionth time of him telling me that, I said fine I would. My mom was already pressuring me to have an abortion as soon as she found out.

I really just felt like I had no support and so I did make the appt. It was a really bad day and I even told my husband I didn’t want to do it. He didn’t really say anything so I just said fine if that’s how it is I will just do it.

THEN after it was done he got really upset and said we never should have done it. I was so mad at him - why couldn’t he tell me that an hour ago I thought - just one damn hour. If one person had supported me I could made it through the pregnancy. I was mad at myself too because I didn’t know symptoms I had meant the pill wasn’t working right and then I thought I was taking them right but I was taking them all wrong so I feel like it was all my fault in the first place that I was even pregnant and everyone was in the situation

I have two other kids now and I feel bad all the time. It’s always in my mind. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I can’t go to project rachel or anything like that really. I don’t have the money or time. We don’t ever really talk about it. Sometimes my husband will say that it was the worse mistake. I just don’t know anymore because a lot of the time I’m fine but I am so preoccupied by this still and it depresses me.

I understand. I would give up everything I own and cut off my legs if it would allow me to change the past. Don’t dwell on it, obsess about it, psychoanalyze yourself over it or allow it to consume you. It is done. Christ gave Himself up for you and your healing. Give it to Him. He is equipped to cleanse you and heal you. Jesus Christ loves you with a love you are incapable of understanding.

This woman is you. Even though I’m a man, this woman is me. This woman is all of us:

Luke 7:36-50 Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is-- that she is a sinner.” Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said. “Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-- for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

 

[Gloria1]

Abortion is like an amputation. The pain might go away but the scar will remain forever unless you confess your sins and become “born again”. You can confess your sins to God in prayers and ask Him to give you a new life and all these worries will go away. If by God’s grace you become financially sound in the near future, consider adopting a child in place of the one you lost.