I can't go to communion for a while, and I am scared

[ellam25]

Hi everyone, so my husband and I are tyring to get our marriage validated. I just recently came back after finding out I was pregnant. My baby is due in Novemeber. We just moved so the parish priest does not know us, so he gave me a plan that we would attend mass regularly for a couple of months to show we are devoted. Meanwhile, I cannot go to communion OR confession until the marriage is validated. Is this normal for a priest to put off the marriage? I’m just a little worried because I am not perfect and don’t want to die right now if I can’t get my sins absolved. I live everyday a little worried. I am just hoping God knows my heart and knows we are working towards a goal and will forgive my sins without confession for now.

 

[AllieT]

I would think that if you are following the priest’s recommendations, that if anything happened, God would understand that you were in the process of coming back into full Communion with the Church under a priest’s guidance, but I can’t speak for God and you may want to talk to your priest about it. It is a process, and doesn’t happen overnight. I am surprised that he didn’t offer you the option to live apart until the marriage is convalidated, or at least live in a “brother/sister” relationship, which my husband and I (married 12 years civilly) had to do while we were waiting for our convalidation (separate rooms, completely innocent relationship) - maybe it’s because he doesn’t know you yet. By doing that, and with the priest trusting that we were sincere, we were allowed Confession and Communion before convalidation. Even though you’ve been married outside the Church already, they still often have a waiting period before you can marry in the Church, and it’s much like the process unmarried couples go through. Once we had my husband’s previous marriage cleared up, we STILL had to wait several months and attend “Engaged Encounter,” which was hilarious after being married for so long. But we did what we had to do, and sometimes a priest needs to see how serious and dedicated you are to the faith. Best wishes to you - sounds like you are on the right track. If this continues to bother you, I’d make an appointment with the priest so he can address your concerns…

 

[Josie33]

I’m sorry to hear about your situation, but may God bless you for taking the proper steps to validate your marriage and come into full communion with the Church.

My advice is to be obedient to the priest and stick to the plan he devised. This reminds me of what St. Faustina wrote about obedience, although her duty differed as a religious, the principle is just the same. Jesus said to St. Faustina, “I have come to do my Father’s will. I obeyed my parents, I obeyed My tormentors and now I obey the priests. I understand, O Jesus, the spirit of obedience and in what it consists. It includes not only external performance, but also the reason, the will and judgment. Obeying our superiors, we obey God. It makes no difference whether it is an angel or a man who, acting in God’s stead, gives me orders; I must always obey.” (para. 535)

The principle that Jesus obeys priests later proved true. There came a point where St. Faustina was told by her confessor to no longer do anything that Jesus commanded her to do, for he feared that what she was experiencing was an illusion. St. Faustina relayed this to Jesus, who was quite pleased. Jesus said, “Always tell your confessor about everything I say to you and command you to do, and do only that for which you obtain permission. Do not be upset, and fear nothing; I am with you.” (para. 645)

So don’t worry, follow the plan outlined to the best of your ability, live each day in the freedom of Christ and most of all remain faithful. In this way your heart can be settled on the fact that you are fulfilling the will of God. It would be wise that for the next couple of months while proving your devotion, to make frequent examinations of conscience, followed by a perfect act of contrition. Then whenever this is settled and circumstances provide, make a proper confession. Also if your schedules allows, maybe you can attend Adoration and confess to Jesus directly in the Blessed Sacrament. Just a thought.

It’s a pity that you have recently moved and are new to the parish. I know the waiting must cause you much suffering, but know that your suffering has great merit. Daily unite them with Christs’ for your personal intentions, maybe even for those going through similar circumstances or for the conversion of sinners. Jesus accepted St. Faustina’s mere crochet stitches sealed with a stamp of obedience as great things since she was forbidden from performing great penances and mortifications. Think of what great value your sufferings (the inability to confess and receive Holy Communion) are before God, united with your obedience. (para. 961)

I hope this is of some consolation to you.

May God Bless you and your family,

Josie