I can't hardly take it anymore

[Gospel]

I don’t know what to do. Tonight for the second time in a matter of 2-3 months, my wife has threatened to leave me and take my 2 small children (6 & 8) with her. I am at the end of my rope. We had a small arguement that erupted into a large one and that is the result.

My wife has been depressed and to be honest, mentaly unstable for many years. Sometimes she is better than other times. We have not had an easy life. I have lost my job a number of times through company downsizing and it has been tough on her. Currently I am unemployed due to the problem in the mortgage market that has been on the news. The company that I did work for is almost out of business, therefore they cut way back on their employees. I think this is hitting her harder than me. Currently we are living in th Pittsburgh area, but I have a job interview Monday up in norther PA where we both are from. I am hoping that I can get the job and move from here and have a fresh start.

However I know that a change in location will not mean a change in the problems that my wife and I have. As I said I am at the end of my rope. I find myself getting more and more angry with her, and I am finding it harder and harder to be patient and kind. She was on medication and seeing a counselor, but I found out tonight that she stopped taking her meds 1 1/2 weeks ago and is saying that she will not go back to counseling anymore.

I have had enough of this. I cannot take having to tiptoe around her for the sake that she will leave me and take the kids with her. Just the thought enrages me that she would pull this again. But the thought of her leaving and taking my kids would be like a spear through my heart. What am I to do???/???

I think that I need to get some counseling myself to see if I can figure out how to deal with her. I do not know how to deal with her depression and attitude anymore. I love her with all my heart and want the best for her, but I am extreamly tired of the depression thing. I know that sounds harsh, but I am quite angry at the moment. She very much frightened the kids this evening, and all I can hear in my ears is my 8 year old daughter screaming that we promised never to break up.

What am I to do??? This is like a very bad dream, and I just want to wake up from it. I am angry and scared at the same time…Please help…

 

[TGBTG]

Gospel…I will pray for your very sad sitaution. Can you and she go to see a PRIEST counselor - or at least go to sit in front of the tabernacle while you both pray individually and together? It is very hard to break up when you both put yourselves in Jesus’ hands.

• And as a former long-time public school teacher of 8 year-olds, I completely understand the devastation your daughter is going through even considering that you may separate.
  PLEASE remind your wife that her serious threat is undermining her own flesh and blood’s entire future life in every way, and that if she does carry through, not only her children, but her grandchildren, and great grand-children and on down the line will be affected. I pray your marriage - and her mental state - will be healed, and that she can be reached.
  God bless you both.
  Go to Mass today - the feast of All Souls DAy -and ask the intercession of those ancestors of both of yours that have made it home to Heaven!

 

[Gospel]

Thank you for your comment. I myself have gone to a priest 3-4 times regarding this and other situations in the recent past-She has just made fun of me about of it. She claims that because I have not gone to a “real” counselor it does not count. I have been so understanding and patient, however it is getting old. I bought her a nice necklace and some earings about a week ago (even though I am unemployed at the moment) and gave them to her just because I love her and wanted to give her something nice. She accused me yesterday of trying to get on her good side by buying her a few “Trinkets” to pacify her. What am I to think of this comment and others like it? I am just so angry!!!

I will continue to pray for her, but I think I am going to have to go and get counseling myself in order to better deal with her. There are times when I just want to shake her and say “snap out of it!!!” I know that you cannot treat depression that way, but I am so very angry right now, that I do not know what to do.

I will continue to prayfor the both of us that our relationship will change and become stronger, but I am unable to see the way out at the moment…

 

[JCChick]

I am so sorry for you and all the pain your family is enduring. One thing we must remember is that we can never change the other person–the only person we can change is ourselves. I highly recommend seeing a counselor for yourself and your sanity. You need someone to help you through managing this situation. Focus on that for now–baby steps–and focus on getting that job and the possible relocation that follows.

ALSO, and most importantly, prayer is huge.

"For where two or three are gathered together in My Name, I am in the midst of them…" Matthew 18:20

I will pray for you–as Im sure others will when they read this–ask family and friends to pray for your situation. He hears you…

God Bless…

 

[awalt]

My prayers are with you and your family…instead of counseling on your own, what about Retrovaille? I have heard they are an awesome place to rebuild a marriage in a retreat atmosphere, and they are very Catholic. If your wife needs clinical treatment for depression that will still be an issue that needs to be addressed…