I can't stop falling into temptation!

  • Thread starter Thread starter TrueChurch
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

TrueChurch

Guest
No matter what I do I fall into the sin of masturbation almost everyday! I hate it and I want help so bad!

This started a little less than two years ago when I started getting addicted to pornography and masturbation. I don’t know how I started getting addicted again but it happened! And no matter what I do I can’t stop. I have been practicing mortification of the flesh daily, I confess every week, I ask God to deliver me from sin, I pray a the Rosary everyday, etc. And it almost always seems like the more stuff I do to try and help to stop this, the temptation only gets worse. It’s like the Devil knows that I’m trying to stop myself from this addiction and he is trying his hardest to keep me in this addiction. He tempts me and then accuses me afterwards. I can’t even think about God or look at the image of the cross for a little while after I do the sin because I’m ashamed and don’t feel like I’m worthy enough for it. The only good thing is is that my Priest understands my situation and is trying his best to help me out. But even in confession I feel like God will not forgive me. I know I’m going to do it again even though I want to stop. I have lost confidence in my own salvation. I know no one can be 100% assured of their salvation, but people can be confident about it and I don’t feel confident. For almost two years Satan tempts me and accuses me daily! Please! I need help! I need it so badly! Please help!
 
TrueChurch said:
No matter what I do I fall into the sin of masturbation almost everyday! I hate it and I want help so bad!

This started a little less than two years ago when I started getting addicted to pornography and masturbation. I don’t know how I started getting addicted again but it happened! And no matter what I do I can’t stop. I have been practicing mortification of the flesh daily, I confess every week, I ask God to deliver me from sin, I pray a the Rosary everyday, etc. And it almost always seems like the more stuff I do to try and help to stop this, the temptation only gets worse. It’s like the Devil knows that I’m trying to stop myself from this addiction and he is trying his hardest to keep me in this addiction. He tempts me and then accuses me afterwards. I can’t even think about God or look at the image of the cross for a little while after I do the sin because I’m ashamed and don’t feel like I’m worthy enough for it. The only good thing is is that my Priest understands my situation and is trying his best to help me out. But even in confession I feel like God will not forgive me. I know I’m going to do it again even though I want to stop. I have lost confidence in my own salvation. I know no one can be 100% assured of their salvation, but people can be confident about it and I don’t feel confident. For almost two years Satan tempts me and accuses me daily! Please! I need help! I need it so badly! Please help!
Click to expand...
Well, this could be an obsession. With obsessions, sometimes the way actually isn’t to resist, per se (which only makes them stronger) but to mainly just ignore them. The more you focus on them, even to punish yourself, the worse they may become.

However, I think it’d be a good idea for you to consider speaking to a counselor, in any case, to get professional counsel and not deal with this alone.

If you prefer, Catholic Social Services has its own Catholic counselors, and you could choose to work with one of them.
 
Would you like to be joyful?
St James (chpt 1) wrote: Consider it Joy (rejoice / be happy) when you are tested.
And how are you tested? He wrote: We are tested with the Luring that happens within us, the thoughts we have of how to fulfill our desires. Our desires are GOOD. But they are there for two reasons: First, to be a controlled testing ground for us so that we can grow in perseverance in rejecting the luring to fulfill the desires ourselves. Second, our desires are part of us because they are the place, the time, to remember that all good comes down from our Father from above. Adam and Eve did not remember God saying you may eat of all these other trees (fulfilling desire), but instead they listened to the luring of the thoughts “the fruit of this other tree seemed desirable to make one wise”. We do not have our desires so that we will fulfill them ourselves, but to prompt us to ask and receive fulfillment from our Lord.

So, when you find yourself desiring, it is time to stop, and say, “Father, I desire (the actual thing you desire, not the solution you imagined to satisfy the desire) - I am awaiting the good you will send to me”. Then rejoice at this momentary success that he gives you.

I said, “The actual thing you desire, not the solution you imagined to satisfy your desire” - some people pray to win the lottery, but that is a solution they imagined for a desire. What was the actual desire? Probably a desire to live without anxiety. or even prior to that. The idea of the lottery came about in the luring and enticing we all get in our imaginations when we desire something. Your desires have to do with sexual longing and aloneness, so your prayer would be, “Father, I desire sexual satisfaction and not being alone.” (if I am seeing it correctly). St. James is calling us, you and me, to stop look and listen - stop imagining you are in the pornographic scenes, when you realize you are doing it, look at what you really desire, and then pray for that to your Father, from whom all good comes, and listen for him.

All the “sins” happen when you carry out the imaginations for fulfilling the actual desires, because your desires were not put in you for you to fulfill yourself, but for you to turn to your Provider and to rejoice in His provisions.

St. Paul wrote, "Clothe yourself in the Lord Jesus Christ, and in your desires do not do the flesh’s imagining (forethought) of how to fulfill them. (Rom. 13: 14) He is saying, “Stop and think who you are, stop the visualizations”, then turn to Jesus, who is with you, and ask him for what you desire, then look for his real provision for your desire, where you will be happy without regret. We all pretend scenes in our heads, but they rarely, if ever, are any good compared to what God gives us.

John Martin
 
TrueChurch said:
No matter what I do I fall into the sin of masturbation almost everyday! I hate it and I want help so bad!

This started a little less than two years ago when I started getting addicted to pornography and masturbation. I don’t know how I started getting addicted again but it happened! And no matter what I do I can’t stop. I have been practicing mortification of the flesh daily, I confess every week, I ask God to deliver me from sin, I pray a the Rosary everyday, etc. And it almost always seems like the more stuff I do to try and help to stop this, the temptation only gets worse. It’s like the Devil knows that I’m trying to stop myself from this addiction and he is trying his hardest to keep me in this addiction. He tempts me and then accuses me afterwards. I can’t even think about God or look at the image of the cross for a little while after I do the sin because I’m ashamed and don’t feel like I’m worthy enough for it. The only good thing is is that my Priest understands my situation and is trying his best to help me out. But even in confession I feel like God will not forgive me. I know I’m going to do it again even though I want to stop. I have lost confidence in my own salvation. I know no one can be 100% assured of their salvation, but people can be confident about it and I don’t feel confident. For almost two years Satan tempts me and accuses me daily! Please! I need help! I need it so badly! Please help!
Click to expand...
I’ve also been in the same position as you - except I’ve had it for six years and it’s only this year that I’ve decided to stop.I also felt the same way as you do back then about God in that every time I would prepare for Mass I had this gut feeling that I don’t want to go even though I wanted to because I wasn’t worthy of Him, having sinned compulsively so many times. That’s what masturbation does to you - it’s so compulsive and in the end you feel wasted afterwards, like you’ve thrown away your dignity.

But I keep on reminding myself that God is not, and will not, be mad at me for sinning so many times. Even though I’ve lapsed a few times after I confessed my sin I always remind myself that God always gives second chances through His mercy. Remind yourself that too. Remember that God will forgive you and His grace will give you the strength to stop this habit. Trust in His grace.

I myself had a hard time trying to avoid temptation in the days after I’ve decided to stop. Even now, actually, I still have those temptations. I had a close call earlier this week, but I prayed hard to the Lord and asked the Virgin Mary to pray for me. There are times when we fall down and feel that we want to give up. But we should have the strength to get back up again, just as how Jesus got the strength to bear His cross on his way to Calvary when He fell down several times. Pray for God to protect you from Satan and to help you have the strength in carrying this cross.
 
Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom to overcome your temptations.
 
Three quotes from St. Josemaría Escrivá come to mind and may help you:

Many live like angels in the middle of the world. You,… why not you? (The Way, 122)

To defend his purity, St Francis of Assisi rolled in the snow, St Benedict threw himself into a thornbush, St Bernard plunged into an icy pond…
You… what have you done? (The Way, 143)

You’ve done well, even though you have fallen so low. You’ve done well, because you humbled yourself, because you straightened yourself out, because you filled yourself with hope - hope that brought you back again to his Love. Don’t look so amazed: you’ve done well! You rose up from the ground. “Surge” - “arise” - cried anew the mighty voice - “et ambula” - “and walk!” Now - to work. (The Way, 264)
 
For almost two years Satan tempts me and accuses me daily! Please! I need help! I need it so badly! Please help!
Click to expand...
My advice:

1.) Unplug yourself from electronics. That means unplugging your computer, TV, radio, cell phone, etc. Cold turkey. Try it for a week, then a month.

No radio in the car. If you have to listen to something in the car, play some Gregorian Chant from the Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo de Silos for starters, or listen to the Into Great Silence CD from the Carthusian Monks at the Grand Chartreuse in France.

People have survived on this planet for thousands of years without all the electronic gizmos. Commit to unplugging from the electronic world for the next week. You might just get your life back.

Unplugging from the electronic gizmos will force you to do something else with your time. You might find an old pastime, like reading, playing chess, or collecting coins, that will occupy your mind and get you doing something different for a change. It will also give you more peace of mind, solitude, and quiet time for reflection.

2.) Go to Mass daily. Not just any Mass. Find a Latin Rite Tridentine Mass if you can, and attend every day for a year straight. Buy a Roman Missal in English and Latin to follow along with the Mass.

If you cannot find a Latin Mass, find a local Mass that is done in as traditional, conservative, and respectful manner. No guitar Masses, no clown Masses. You want an authentic Mass that keeps your mind and spirit engaged and active.

Continue to go to Confession, and saying a Rosary daily. Wear a scapular, and keep a Rosary, St. Benedict Medal, and a Miraculous Medal on your person at all times. It wouldn’t hurt to carry a small Bible on your person at all times as well.

3.) Volunteer. Find a local soup kitchen and volunteer twice a week.

4.) Join the local YMCA. There you will find plenty to do for exercise - swimming, basketball, weightlifting equipment.

The goal is to find more balance in your life - spiritually, socially, mentally, and physically.

If you follow these ideas to the utmost, you will start to break old habits. You need to fill your mind and spirit with a new approach.
 
TrueChurch said:
No matter what I do I fall into the sin of masturbation almost everyday! I hate it and I want help so bad!

This started a little less than two years ago when I started getting addicted to pornography and masturbation. I don’t know how I started getting addicted again but it happened! And no matter what I do I can’t stop. I have been practicing mortification of the flesh daily, I confess every week, I ask God to deliver me from sin, I pray a the Rosary everyday, etc. And it almost always seems like the more stuff I do to try and help to stop this, the temptation only gets worse. It’s like the Devil knows that I’m trying to stop myself from this addiction and he is trying his hardest to keep me in this addiction. He tempts me and then accuses me afterwards. I can’t even think about God or look at the image of the cross for a little while after I do the sin because I’m ashamed and don’t feel like I’m worthy enough for it. The only good thing is is that my Priest understands my situation and is trying his best to help me out. But even in confession I feel like God will not forgive me. I know I’m going to do it again even though I want to stop. I have lost confidence in my own salvation. I know no one can be 100% assured of their salvation, but people can be confident about it and I don’t feel confident. For almost two years Satan tempts me and accuses me daily! Please! I need help! I need it so badly! Please help!
Click to expand...
**Some people will offer advice that they think will work for you and it may. A Catholic Priest/Counselor may be able to help too. You may want to ask yourself what it is that you get from this practice. Be honest but don’t beat yourself up emotionally. There may be other things you can do to satisfy your urges other than looking at porno. IOW perhaps you go to this well of “forbidden candy” when your “needs” could be met in other ways. (What do you get from this habit other than the obvious?) By meeting with others who share similar temptations, you will realize that you are not so alone or exclusive. (Group Therapy).

An active prayer life is important but addiction may need to be addressed through a 12 step program with unconditional support available 24/7 by others in recovery. Also, if you look up the web site “Audio Sancto. Org” which is an online archive of many topics of Homilies given by priests. On the home page find the category named PURITY. CLick on that and you will see sub-categories. The first one which will help you immensely is called “Sounding the Trumpet Against Pornography” Listen to this homily and then others under this category of PURITY. I promise that by listening to these sermons (perhaps over and over) will be the right step in the direction of freedom from this self-deprecating habit. Know this. There is hope. A more active social life (without sin) can help too. Sometimes when we isolate we are in “bad” company because satan will always tempt us when and where we are weak. Getting free from this behavior does not happen overnight, but don’t give up. Demonic influence will want you to believe it is hopeless. but it is NOT. You can learn to overcome this practice by learning more about it from solid Catholic counseling, and a desire to quit which you already have.

You are not alone in your frustration for many reading your post share the same problem. Fortunately you had the courage to seek help. You may not realize it now, but you may be of great help to others just by bringing it up, and in the future you could share your “experience, strength and hope” with others and be a very powerful influence for good in their lives. Hang in there. I will pray for you and I am sure if you ask others will too. Freedom from this sin is on the horizon for you.**
 
TrueChurch said:
No matter what I do I fall into the sin of masturbation almost everyday! I hate it and I want help so bad!

This started a little less than two years ago when I started getting addicted to pornography and masturbation. I don’t know how I started getting addicted again but it happened! And no matter what I do I can’t stop. I have been practicing mortification of the flesh daily, I confess every week, I ask God to deliver me from sin, I pray a the Rosary everyday, etc. And it almost always seems like the more stuff I do to try and help to stop this, the temptation only gets worse. It’s like the Devil knows that I’m trying to stop myself from this addiction and he is trying his hardest to keep me in this addiction. He tempts me and then accuses me afterwards. I can’t even think about God or look at the image of the cross for a little while after I do the sin because I’m ashamed and don’t feel like I’m worthy enough for it. The only good thing is is that my Priest understands my situation and is trying his best to help me out. But even in confession I feel like God will not forgive me. I know I’m going to do it again even though I want to stop. I have lost confidence in my own salvation. I know no one can be 100% assured of their salvation, but people can be confident about it and I don’t feel confident. For almost two years Satan tempts me and accuses me daily! Please! I need help! I need it so badly! Please help!
Click to expand...
Keep yourself very busy so that you also don’t have as much time to sin.

I think this particular sin can be one where one feels incomplete.

If I may offer a suggestion, I’d just ask that you consider trying more ways to develop a healthy social life. Try to get out more, meet people, talk to new people, join groups and clubs, especially of like minded people to help give you positive options and outlets.

Make friends and talk and go out with friends of both genders.
 
Work on your hobbies and interests.

Volunteer.

Learn something new or maybe even take a class.
 
TrueChurch said:
No matter what I do I fall into the sin of masturbation almost everyday! I hate it and I want help so bad!

This started a little less than two years ago when I started getting addicted to pornography and masturbation. I don’t know how I started getting addicted again but it happened! And no matter what I do I can’t stop. I have been practicing mortification of the flesh daily, I confess every week, I ask God to deliver me from sin, I pray a the Rosary everyday, etc. And it almost always seems like the more stuff I do to try and help to stop this, the temptation only gets worse. It’s like the Devil knows that I’m trying to stop myself from this addiction and he is trying his hardest to keep me in this addiction. He tempts me and then accuses me afterwards. I can’t even think about God or look at the image of the cross for a little while after I do the sin because I’m ashamed and don’t feel like I’m worthy enough for it. The only good thing is is that my Priest understands my situation and is trying his best to help me out. But even in confession I feel like God will not forgive me. I know I’m going to do it again even though I want to stop. I have lost confidence in my own salvation. I know no one can be 100% assured of their salvation, but people can be confident about it and I don’t feel confident. For almost two years Satan tempts me and accuses me daily! Please! I need help! I need it so badly! Please help!
Click to expand...
Don’t despair. God is not some stern, unyielding judge setting impossible tasks for us waiting for us to make one little mistake so He can send us to hell. For some of us being chaste is just constitutionally more difficult than for others. That’s ok. God is your Father and He understands your difficulties and struggles far better than you do. I think sometimes we make the mistake of looking at things too juridically. The purpose of our Christian life, our salvation, is not just getting to heaven. It’s to constantly work to repent, to change our hearts and to constantly grow in communion with God right here, right now. So when you do fall do not for one second think you are somehow a bad person or think that God won’t forgive you. That is a slander of the devil. I’ll leave you with a quote from a fairly well known letter from a nun to a trouble lay person who despaired of his salvation.

Do not be tricked into believing the demons who tell you that you are “committing a blasphemy even at Mass, because you do not ever seem to get better.” It is they who are locked in their hatred of God and man, and who blaspheme, full of rage because they know they will never change, and hatred for us because we can. First of all, it is not our task to judge whether we are ever “getting any better.” That is the Lord’s business, not ours, nor yet the devil’s. Secondly, you are a beloved child of the living God, Who died and rose that you might also die and rise, and live forever in joy with Him. The Lord Who broke the bars of death and harrowed the pit of hell is quite capable of bringing you safe home to Heaven, if you will get out of the way and let Him in. “Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
 
TrueChurch said:
No matter what I do I fall into the sin of masturbation almost everyday! I hate it and I want help so bad!

This started a little less than two years ago when I started getting addicted to pornography and masturbation. I don’t know how I started getting addicted again but it happened! And no matter what I do I can’t stop. I have been practicing mortification of the flesh daily, I confess every week, I ask God to deliver me from sin, I pray a the Rosary everyday, etc. And it almost always seems like the more stuff I do to try and help to stop this, the temptation only gets worse. It’s like the Devil knows that I’m trying to stop myself from this addiction and he is trying his hardest to keep me in this addiction. He tempts me and then accuses me afterwards. I can’t even think about God or look at the image of the cross for a little while after I do the sin because I’m ashamed and don’t feel like I’m worthy enough for it. The only good thing is is that my Priest understands my situation and is trying his best to help me out. But even in confession I feel like God will not forgive me. I know I’m going to do it again even though I want to stop. I have lost confidence in my own salvation. I know no one can be 100% assured of their salvation, but people can be confident about it and I don’t feel confident. For almost two years Satan tempts me and accuses me daily! Please! I need help! I need it so badly! Please help!
Click to expand...
First off, BROTHER, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God knows the turmoil in you before you even go to Confession. He has mercy beyond our understanding and loves us with unlimited love. Whatever idea you have about being unworthy and God will never forgive you because you continually sin, offer that idea up to Him and be assured that God will forgive you.

Now, on to the more pragmatic issue at hand. Have you ever heard of Matt Fradd? He’s a Catholic apologetic and a recovering porn addict. What I’ve learned from him about pornography addiction and why porn is so addictive made my head explode. If the devil had to choose a single method to temp all of mankind (not just males but females and children as well), internet porn would be it. God created our minds and bodies and the devil knows how to use our minds and bodies against us. Search out his site and do some research. There’s also tons of audio files on Catholic Answers Live radio on the topic of porn addiction, how it literally rewires a human brain within seconds, creates a chemical reaction similar to human intimacy, and why it’s so hard to break.

This is not an addiction you can simply pray away although prayer and God’s assistance is critical to beating this addiction. First arm yourself with the scientific and physiological facts then commit yourself to breaking free from satan’s hold (and it is satan that is driving the entire porn industry.) I guarantee you will find out things that is invaluable to your desire to break your habit of this sin.

Good luck, brother, and please post later how you’re doing. There are many here who care about you and we all know what it is to be a sinner! God Bless you and keep you from harm.:gopray:
 
Thank you all so much for answering. It is really hard. Maybe in the moments you do it, it feels good, but afterwards I feel like a hypocritical fool. I know I offended God, and I know I keep doing it. I preach to others not to do this sin and then I do it… Saint Paul’s words can be encouraging to me though. “Why do I do the things I do?” he says in Romans chapter 7 verse 15. I really want to break from this. Just keep me in your prayers.
 
TrueChurch said:
Thank you all so much for answering. It is really hard. Maybe in the moments you do it, it feels good, but afterwards I feel like a hypocritical fool. I know I offended God, and I know I keep doing it. I preach to others not to do this sin and then I do it… Saint Paul’s words can be encouraging to me though. “Why do I do the things I do?” he says in Romans chapter 7 verse 15. I really want to break from this. Just keep me in your prayers.
Click to expand...
You would be a hypocrite if you continued to sin without trying to stop sinning and told other to not sin. Could a doctor have heart problems and still continue his medical practice? Could a bookstore owner sell books in foreign languages he cannot read? You get the point. If we had to stop telling others not to sin because we still sin (and we’re all sinners), the world would be a very quiet place. Keep up the fight, brother. Take your victories where you can and continue to pray to and praise God. God Bless you.👍
 
You sound like you are suffering from an addiction. Addictions are very hard to break but can be broken. Have recourse to Mary most pure with 100% confidence in her intercession, avoid all near occasions of sin, practice custody of the eyes and other senses, pray ceaselessly, pray your rosary fervently and daily, practice mortification for the love of God, want to die rather than commit another sin, read good pious books, pray for sorrow for your sins and for true repentance, meditate on our Lord’s Passion, etc… God bless you.
 
ClearWater said:
Well, this could be an obsession. With obsessions, sometimes the way actually isn’t to resist, per se (which only makes them stronger) but to mainly just ignore them. The more you focus on them, even to punish yourself, the worse they may become.
Click to expand...
As Clearwater has stated if this is something new, which you’re saying it is, then it’s an **obsession **and can be dealt with. It starts innocently then the big M becomes habitual.
Best way to deal with is, is one week at a time and as CW stated ignore the urges. Stay away from pornography in any form. You really don’t need it.

Stop M
then stop P
it may take weeks to months to recover. Cont. going to confession and** see it as a temporary thing **if you don’t then it will come harder to defeat because you will be defeated. Good Luck and Bod Bless you and protect you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top