I Can't Stop!

[catholicsouth08]

i need help. i am in my 20’s and i am struggleing with masturbation. i have done it since i was 14 but became catholic a few years ago and been trying to stop. i feel so guilty. i have asked God to forgive me and i will go to confession on saturday. but i feel like i shouldnt leave the house. i have a big ged math test tomorrow and i feel bad going because i masturbated. and i need to look for a job but feel to guilty. i fell like i need to lock myself in the house until saturday any advice?

 

[LilyM]

What on earth does your sin have to do with leaving the house, taking your test or doing anything else you need to do? Unless you’re planning on masturbating in the street, or in the exam room or something, I just don’t see the connection.

Sounds like you may be suffering from despair - thinking that your sins are somehow unworthy of forgiveness, even though about 90% of men and wo-thirds of women commit exactly the same one! Of course God can forgive them and you.

Fact is, failing to do essential tasks like taking your test, and do them as well as you reasonably can, would be sinful in itself. Probably as big a sin as your masturbation.

Just pray to God telling Him that you trust in His mercy - remember He doesn’t change His mind like humans, when He promises to have mercy on all who repent of their sins, when He talks about forgiving seventy times seven times, you can rely on His word.

Tell God that you trust in His power to help you conquer this sin - He wants you to be free of it, even more than you can possibly want it for yourself. Trust in that.

Remove yourself, as much as possible, from whatever tempts you to masturbation. Turn off the TV completely unless there’s something you literally need to watch like the news. Restrict internet to necessary emails or other necessary tasks. Take care with what you read or look at and the music you listen to. Fill your time with good things - spiritual reading, prayer, exercise - study!

 

[catholicsouth08]

What on earth does your sin have to do with leaving the house, taking your test or doing anything else you need to do?

Sounds like you may be suffering from the sin of despair - and that failing to do essential tasks like taking your test would be sinful in itself. Probably as big a sin as your masturbation.

Just pray to God telling Him that you trust in His mercy - remember He doesn’t change His mind like humans, when He promises to have mercy on all who repent of their sins, when He talks about forgiving seventy times seven times, you can rely on His word.

I am just scared that if i was to get in a car crash or something before i can get to confession on saturday that ide be doomed to hell.

 

[LilyM]

I am just scared that if i was to get in a car crash or something before i can get to confession on saturday that ide be doomed to hell.

Look, God knows you’re sorry for your sin and want to confess. He’s not an unreasonably harsh judge, but a merciful one, and will surely take it into account in your favour that you ARE sorry and DO intend to go as soon as you can, if for whatever reason you weren’t to make it to confession.

If it will help, call your priest and ask if you can see him privately for confession, earlier. If you want to stay anonymous you can, ask him to meet you in the confessional at an agreed-upon time.

 

[jwashu]

i need help. i am in my 20’s and i am struggleing with masturbation. i have done it since i was 14 but became catholic a few years ago and been trying to stop. i feel so guilty. i have asked God to forgive me and i will go to confession on saturday. but i feel like i shouldnt leave the house. i have a big ged math test tomorrow and i feel bad going because i masturbated. and i need to look for a job but feel to guilty. i fell like i need to lock myself in the house until saturday any advice?

Look I’m not going to go against the Church on this but I will say that there can be a number of mitigating factors on whether or not Masturbation is a mortal sin.

You have been doing it since 14 on a regular basis, that’s a habit and possibly an addition. You say you are trying to not do so often… you are trying. Ask for forgiveness, keep working on it but move on. Don’t despair or worry about it, the more you worry the worse it will be. Know that God will forgive you and wants you to grow… that’s the whole point. He doesn’t expect you to be prefect just because you found the Truth of His Church. Everyone has their issues and sometimes it takes years to get to where we want to be. I’m certain that God doesn’t want you to let go of everything else just because you may or may not have sinned.

Focus on Him and move on!

Joe

 

[LilyM]

Look I’m not going to go against the Church on this but I will say that there can be a number of mitigating factors on whether or not Masturbation is a mortal sin.

You have been doing it since 14 on a regular basis, that’s a habit and possibly an addition. You say you are trying to not do so often… you are trying. Ask for forgiveness, keep working on it but move on. Don’t despair or worry about it, the more you worry the worse it will be. Know that God will forgive you and wants you to grow… that’s the whole point. He doesn’t expect you to be prefect just because you found the Truth of His Church. Everyone has their issues and sometimes it takes years to get to where we want to be. I’m certain that God doesn’t want you to let go of everything else just because you may or may not have sinned.

Focus on Him and move on!

Joe

You’re correct - in the end it’s something to discuss with your confessor as to whether, in your circumstances, it’s a mortal sin or not. It very well may not be.

 

[TLM08]

i need help. i am in my 20’s and i am struggleing with masturbation. i have done it since i was 14 but became catholic a few years ago and been trying to stop. i feel so guilty. i have asked God to forgive me and i will go to confession on saturday. but i feel like i shouldnt leave the house. i have a big ged math test tomorrow and i feel bad going because i masturbated. and i need to look for a job but feel to guilty. i fell like i need to lock myself in the house until saturday any advice?

If you start to live a G-Rated life, your mind will begin to purify itself. Conduct your social life as if small children were present at all times. Get rid of friends who are a bad influence. Clean up your speech too. Confine your masturbating to the daytime hours and NOT in your bedroom. From now on, your bedroom is reserved for prayer and sleep… got it? Later on when you get married, your bedroom will be the place for sharing the marital gift of intimacy. Why pollute it?

If you can stop all at once… great! But if you keep falling and are masturbating every day, start skipping days here and there. It won’t kill you! Progress is always good. When you sin in this way, immediately say an Act of Contrition and thank God for giving you the strength to skip days. Never masturbate while viewing ANY images… Using even the underwear ads out of the newspaper is a gateway to using even worse stuff that rots your mind and soul… I’m not kidding.

Get yourself to weekly confession and increase your prayer life. Be patient with yourself. Many great saints have said that Holiness is a process. It takes time. God knows your struggles.
Again, if you can stop all at once that is even better, but keep fighting and never give up. You’re going to find that this habit will fade away and even stop as your mind purifys itself. Pray for God’s grace and he will help you every step of the way!

Again… PRAYER… CONFESSION…G-RATED LIVING!


.

 

[LilyM]

If you start to live a G-Rated life, your mind will begin to purify itself. Conduct your social life as if small children were present at all times. Get rid of friends who are a bad influence. Clean up your speech too. Confine your masturbating to the daytime hours and NOT in your bedroom. From now on, your bedroom is reserved for prayer and sleep… got it? Later on when you get married, your bedroom will be the place for sharing the marital gift of intimacy. Why pollute it?

If you can stop all at once… great! But if you keep falling and are masturbating every day, start skipping days here and there. It won’t kill you! Progress is always good. When you sin in this way, immediately say an Act of Contrition and thank God for giving you the strength to skip days. Never masturbate while viewing ANY images… Using even the underwear ads out of the newspaper is a gateway to using even worse stuff that rots your mind and soul… I’m not kidding.

Get yourself to weekly confession and increase your prayer life. Be patient with yourself. Many great saints have said that Holiness is a process. It takes time. God knows your struggles.
Again, if you can stop all at once that is even better, but keep fighting and never give up. You’re going to find that this habit will fade away and even stop as your mind purifys itself. Pray for God’s grace and he will help you every step of the way!

Again… PRAYER… CONFESSION…G-RATED LIVING!


.

I forgot to suggest something similar - make your first aim to go for the rest of today without masturbating. Then to go a whole day, midnight to midnight or more. Then thirty-six hours (if you find a day really difficult) or two days (if you don’t), and so on, adding an extra twelve hours or day at a time.

 

[Belgarion]

Jason Evert says this Good luck!

 

[Magicsilence]

I am just scared that if i was to get in a car crash or something before i can get to confession on saturday that ide be doomed to hell.

Remember that God wants everyone to be saved.

He doesn’t sit in the sky thinking ‘YES, now catholicsouth08 has sinned, I can condemn him to hell!’. No way, he sent his Son to die on a cross to save you, do you think he would now abandon you when you turn to Him asking for forgiveness and help?

More importantly though, I think you need to re-evaluate your own understanding of what masturbation is, and why it is wrong.

You gave this thread the title ‘I Cant stop’, when the truth is you obviously would be able to stop if your parents were about to enter the room (for example). You just need to retrain your mind to learn how to stop for the love of God.

You have already taken the first step, understanding that what you are doing is a sin that needs to be stopped permanently.

Now, you need to work on carrying out that realisation. Find out what is causing you to do it and cut it out of your life. Wear a cross/crucifix around your neck to look at every time you are tempted, and remember that every saint is/was a sinner first , they just never stop(ed) looking to God for a hand up.

God Bless,

 

[Lone_Catholic]

Jason Evert is a great place to start for help. Also check out www.christopherwest.com. He has a cd pack for men, and it is fantastic-- he addresses masturbation in it. Please check it out!

 

[kage_ar]

Yes, you can stop.

You have a bad habit. You will need courage and fortitide to stop, but, you CAN stop.

You are created in the image of likness of God, you can stop.

Millions of people do not masturbate. You can be one of them.

Go to confession, pray, and say “I CAN STOP”.

 

[thomfra]

i need help. i am in my 20’s and i am struggleing with masturbation. i have done it since i was 14 but became catholic a few years ago and been trying to stop. i feel so guilty. i have asked God to forgive me and i will go to confession on saturday. but i feel like i shouldnt leave the house. i have a big ged math test tomorrow and i feel bad going because i masturbated. and i need to look for a job but feel to guilty. i fell like i need to lock myself in the house until saturday any advice?

I belive the church has it completely wrong on this issue. I believe occasional masturbation is a normal and healthy human behavior, especially for those who do not have a spouse/sexual partner.

 

[TLM08]

Yes, you can stop.

You have a bad habit. You will need courage and fortitide to stop, but, you CAN stop.

You are created in the image of likness of God, you can stop.

Millions of people do not masturbate. You can be one of them.

Go to confession, pray, and say “I CAN STOP”.

Yes, millions do not masturbate. However there are BILLIONS who do! It’s a lot easier for a fifty year-old man to resist this temptation than a sixteen year-old boy. Breaking this habit can be extremely difficult for some people, especially the young.

My other posts tell how I (with God’s grace of course) have been able to kill this sin in my own life.

 

[TLM08]

I belive the church has it completely wrong on this issue. I believe occasional masturbation is a normal and healthy human behavior, especially for those who do not have a spouse/sexual partner.

Our secretary at work, who is married happens to be extremely attractive. It’s nothing “unnatural” about certain thoughts that can easily come mind when she enters a room. Just because something is normal doesn’t mean it is morally okay.

Just because we WANT something to be okay… doesn’t make it so!

 

[Magicsilence]

I belive the church has it completely wrong on this issue.

aaand stop right there.

The OP has come here for help, not further confusion from people like yourself who reject the authority of the Church.

 

[RitaM]

I have that same sinful habit, and I’ve been struggling for a longer time than you have. It’s not easy, even for a woman! I’ve realized that as shameful and ugly as masturbation seems to be, it’s probably not the worst sin you could be doing. What’s worse in God’s eyes is probably your despair and mistrust of His mercy. How much influence Satan can have over us if we think that we cannot do anything good until next Saturday when we go to confession! I know that if I could easily give up masturbating, my heart would be full of pride which is probably a worse sinful attitude than the struggle with sexual impurity. Keep following the good advice given here, but if you fail, don’t be too proud to approach Christ right away and ask for mercy. Don’t wait until you go to confession, keep praying and don’t despair. Jesus of course wants you to be pure, but He is not disgusted with you.

 

[kage_ar]

Yes, millions do not masturbate. However there are BILLIONS who do! It’s a lot easier for a fifty year-old man to resist this temptation than a sixteen year-old boy. Breaking this habit can be extremely difficult for some people, especially the young.

My other posts tell how I (with God’s grace of course) have been able to kill this sin in my own life.

We need to stop feeding the lie that everyone does it.

We need to give hope and encouragment that you CAN stop. That God created you and that you do not have to give in to Satan.

Every hour of every day, tell yourself I CAN STOP THIS and work with your confessor. That is the message that needs to be shouted from the rooftops!

 

[thomfra]

aaand stop right there.

The OP has come here for help, not further confusion from people like yourself who reject the authority of the Church.

Well actually Magicsilence you have misunderstood the purpose of this forum. This is an **open **forum where all beliefs and opions can be challanged.

If the boy needs spiritual advice, he should talk to a priest. This is the *last *place I would recommend.

Masturbation is **normal **and healthy part of growing up.

What is *not *healthy is that people grow up with feelings of shame about this.

 

[thomfra]

We need to stop feeding the lie that everyone does it.

Everbody does it.