I can't take communion?

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newangela

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Hi all-
I am a Candidate in the RCIA, and am joining the Church at the Easter vigil. I am married to a non-Catholic, non-believer. We are agreed to raise our children ( we have 2) Catholic. I just read somewhere that because we were not married in the Church, we are not technically married in the eyes of the Church, and therefore I’m committing a mortal sin by having sex with my husband and need to confess it before I receive Communion. Is this the case??? Do I need to have my marriage “blessed,” and what does that entail? Does it require anything of my husband?
Very confused,
Angela
 
You’d need to discuss your situation with your priest.

It seems that neither you nor your husband were Catholic at the time of your marriage - is this correct? Are either of you baptised Catholic? Are either of you baptised in any other Christian denomination? Did you marry in a ceremony within a Christian denomination or was it a civil marriage only? These things would all affect whether or not your marriage would be recognised as valid by the Church.

If your marriage isn’t valid, then it would indeed be a mortal sin for you to have marital relations - sex belongs within valid marriages only.

If you are indeed required to convalidate your marriage, this basically means both of you going through a Catholic marriage service in front of a Catholic priest or deacon. Note that you don’t need gowns, flowers, music, admiring crowds and whatnot to make a valid marriage, so you can take 20 minutes on a weekday, if you like, to go over to the church (perhaps with a witness or two) and have your marriage quietly blessed.

If your husband seriously objects to taking part in a convalidation of your marriage, you can apply for what is called ‘radical sanation’, which has the effect of making your marriage sacramentally valid but only requires the participation of the Catholic party. I don’t know exactly what it involves, though.
 
No way to answer, not enough info, but the person who needs that info is your priest. Make an appointment with him, give him all the details of your marriage background, circumstances surrounding your marriage, previous unions etc, and as well baptismal status of you and your husband. This should have been done when you first started the RCIA process so the pastor and director would know enough to care for all your pastoral needs, but it is not to late. Once the relevant facts are established your pastor can advise you. Each situation is unique so something you read here about another couple may not apply to you.

Welcome Home!
 
newangela said:
Hi all-
I am a Candidate in the RCIA, and am joining the Church at the Easter vigil. I am married to a non-Catholic, non-believer. We are agreed to raise our children ( we have 2) Catholic. I just read somewhere that because we were not married in the Church, we are not technically married in the eyes of the Church, and therefore I’m committing a mortal sin by having sex with my husband and need to confess it before I receive Communion. Is this the case??? Do I need to have my marriage “blessed,” and what does that entail? Does it require anything of my husband?
Very confused,
Angela
Click to expand...
Angela, since you “read somewhere” it would seem that you aren’t hearing you need to do something about your marriage from your parish. If you have concerns you should ask. You say you are a candidate? If you were baptized in a non-Catholic Christian Church then you are not bound to the Catholic form of marriage. And since your husband is not Catholic then he is not bound to the Catholic form of marriage either. So assuming neither of you was married before or has some other impediment to marriage your current marriage is already valid.

Since you say your husband is a non-believer then I’m guessing that means he was never baptized. If that is the case then you have valid natural marriage. If your husband was baptized then you have a valid sacramental marriage.

The people that need to have their marriage “blessed” (convalidated is the actual term) usually fall in to one (or both) of two categories. The first case involves people who had a prior marriage, divorced, and remarried while the first spouse is still alive. Should that first marriage be ruled null then the couple can convalidate the second marriage. The second case involves Catholics (and this includes those who were baptized Catholic but at some point stopped practicing Catholicism) who married outside of the Catholic form without (a) proper dispensation(s).
 
newangela said:
Hi all-
I am a Candidate in the RCIA, and am joining the Church at the Easter vigil. I am married to a non-Catholic, non-believer. We are agreed to raise our children ( we have 2) Catholic. I just read somewhere that because we were not married in the Church, we are not technically married in the eyes of the Church, and therefore I’m committing a mortal sin by having sex with my husband and need to confess it before I receive Communion. Is this the case??? Do I need to have my marriage “blessed,” and what does that entail? Does it require anything of my husband?
Very confused,
Angela
Click to expand...
were either of you married before? were either of you baptized Catholic or received into the Church Catholic Church prior?

If no to both of these questions…then the Church Presumes your marriage is VALID. if it was the ordinary marriage as a normal person understands marriage…legal and all.

so if it is a valid marriage there would be no sin…but rather a good thing to have marital relations (so long as they are open to life…no contraception…though if you have a serious reason to avoid more children…then one can use natural family planning …nfp. Which is not contraception but knowing how the body works and charting the cycle and abstaining during fertile times)
 
Sorry, I guess I should have provided more info.
I was baptized in a non-Catholic Christian church when I was 11.
My husband was baptized in the Anglo-Catholic Church when he was an infant.
When we married, we were both agnostic. We were married by a judge, outdoors.
I am now converting, my husband is not.
What do you think?
Angela
 
Angela,

You must be careful of the details of any discussion on validity of marriage. In many cases, websites and posts on this forum dealing with invalid marriages are in reference to **Catholics ** (those baptized Catholic, whether practicing currently or not) who married outside Catholic form.

Non-Catholics are not bound by Catholic form.

The two most pertinent questions would be were either of you baptized Catholic or received into the Catholic Church prior to the marriage? Were either of you baptized into one of the Orthodox Churches? Have either of you been previously married and divorced with that spouse still living?

This all should have been covered in an interview or questionnaire early in the RCIA process. Perhaps you don’t remember these conversations. If there were any issues witih you joining the Church they would have been dealt with at the beginning.

Hopefuly this puts your mind at ease. But, if you still have concerns just talk to your priest.
 
newangela said:
Sorry, I guess I should have provided more info.
I was baptized in a non-Catholic Christian church when I was 11.
My husband was baptized in the Anglo-Catholic Church when he was an infant.
When we married, we were both agnostic. We were married by a judge, outdoors.
I am now converting, my husband is not.
What do you think?
Angela
Click to expand...
by anglo-catholic you mean Anglican? as in not a Catholic but a member of the Anglican communion?

or was he baptized in an English Catholic Church???

and never married before ?
 
Anglican communion, I think.
I was told early on that since we weren’t involved with the Catholic Church, were non-Catholics, and had never been married before, all was well, but I just came across the info and wanted to see what the details were.
Thanks!
Angela
 
newangela said:
Anglican communion, I think.
I was told early on that since we weren’t involved with the Catholic Church, were non-Catholics, and had never been married before, all was well, but I just came across the info and wanted to see what the details were.
Thanks!
Angela
Click to expand...
There you go. This is the interview/questionnaire I was referring to.

Seems the determination was made that your marriage is valid.
 
newangela said:
Anglican communion, I think.
I was told early on that since we weren’t involved with the Catholic Church, were non-Catholics, and had never been married before, all was well, but I just came across the info and wanted to see what the details were.
Thanks!
Angela
Click to expand...
that info had only to do with the those who are members of the Catholic Church…

so if neither of you were married…and neither of you were baptized Catholic or had become Catholic…then the Church presumes you are validly married.
 
newangela said:
Anglican communion, I think.
I was told early on that since we weren’t involved with the Catholic Church, were non-Catholics, and had never been married before, all was well, but I just came across the info and wanted to see what the details were.
Thanks!
Angela
Click to expand...
Your marriage will be valid from all the info you have given here.

Welcome home 🙂
 
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