I can't trust God

[WildCatholic]

I not only need prayers but I need some advice. How do I begin to trust God when it seems like he could care less about what’s going on in my life?

First of all let me begin with that I have a ton of struggles in my life which i’ve mentioned previously. My biggest fear though is that I will be unsuccessful in life and that I will end up being some loser working a low wage job and be stuck living at home until God knows when (i’m 25 now) and that my life will end up being me basically taking care of my brother with aspergers (and by take care of him, I mean financially, he is very able of taking care of himself except in that his social skills prevent him from having most jobs) and that i’ll just be poor and miserable and unable to have a wife and family which I’m almost sure is my vocation.

Anyway, what bugs me is that when I tell people my struggles they say things like “You are not your family’s savior, God is” and that “he won’t allow your greatest fears to happen” and most of all the whole idea that God will provide for my needs (the whole idea from Luke 12 about not worrying). This seems like such bull though. Sure there are people who put their trust in God and their lives had a fairytale ending but what about those that didn’t How many Catholics during World War Two prayed a ton of rosaries and other prayers but ended up dying in battle or in a concentration camp? How many people prayed and lived good lives so a loved one would live but God let them die? Did God just not feel they needed to live?

Anyway in my own life I feel like I can’t trust God. While my life is far from terrible, it feels like he is doing nothing to alleviate my fears. I feel like God is just going to allow the worst to happen to me and that my life on earth doesn’t matter and that even if i’m some poor bum God doesn’t care because it’s more important have faith.

 

[fred_conty]

I not only need prayers but I need some advice. How do I begin to trust God when it seems like he could care less about what’s going on in my life?

First of all let me begin with that I have a ton of struggles in my life which i’ve mentioned previously. My biggest fear though is that I will be unsuccessful in life and that I will end up being some loser working a low wage job and be stuck living at home until God knows when (i’m 25 now) and that my life will end up being me basically taking care of my brother with aspergers (and by take care of him, I mean financially, he is very able of taking care of himself except in that his social skills prevent him from having most jobs) and that i’ll just be poor and miserable and unable to have a wife and family which I’m almost sure is my vocation.

Anyway, what bugs me is that when I tell people my struggles they say things like “You are not your family’s savior, God is” and that “he won’t allow your greatest fears to happen” and most of all the whole idea that God will provide for my needs (the whole idea from Luke 12 about not worrying). This seems like such bull though. Sure there are people who put their trust in God and their lives had a fairytale ending but what about those that didn’t How many Catholics during World War Two prayed a ton of rosaries and other prayers but ended up dying in battle or in a concentration camp? How many people prayed and lived good lives so a loved one would live but God let them die? Did God just not feel they needed to live?

Anyway in my own life I feel like I can’t trust God. While my life is far from terrible, it feels like he is doing nothing to alleviate my fears. I feel like God is just going to allow the worst to happen to me and that my life on earth doesn’t matter and that even if i’m some poor bum God doesn’t care because it’s more important have faith.

You are 25 and that is young. With what you are faced with that is scary and I don’t know of any way to handle such a situation except one. You have to eventually thank God for your situation and know that if this is what he wants of you, then it must be a blessing from him even tho on the outside of things it may not appear to be such. So if it were me, I would thank Jesus and tell him I love him, and then just tell him that you know he has your best interest in his heart. Then I would thank him again for his kindness.

I’m not telling you that you must do this, but I am saying if it were me that is what I would do. Because I know he then will find ways to make things happen to give me peace and love. And I can live with that and by that.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

 

[WildCatholic]

You are 25 and that is young. With what you are faced with that is scary and I don’t know of any way to handle such a situation except one. You have to eventually thank God for your situation and know that if this is what he wants of you, then it must be a blessing from him even tho on the outside of things it may not appear to be such. So if it were me, I would thank Jesus and tell him I love him, and then just tell him that you know he has your best interest in his heart. Then I would thank him again for his kindness.

I’m not telling you that you must do this, but I am saying if it were me that is what I would do. Because I know he then will find ways to make things happen to give me peace and love. And I can live with that and by that.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

But how is it a blessing to be unable to get a better job and better life? I feel like i’m getting slapped in the junk and all I can say to not anger God is “thank you lord may I have another”. I am thankful for my family but honestly I feel like God just isn’t caring enough and I’m to the point where I just don’t want to do anything Even praying seems futile because God has made up his mind already. I must not deserve a decent job or family

 

[ClearWater]

I not only need prayers but I need some advice. How do I begin to trust God when it seems like he could care less about what’s going on in my life?

First of all let me begin with that I have a ton of struggles in my life which i’ve mentioned previously. My biggest fear though is that I will be unsuccessful in life and that I will end up being some loser working a low wage job and be stuck living at home until God knows when (i’m 25 now) and that my life will end up being me basically taking care of my brother with aspergers (and by take care of him, I mean financially, he is very able of taking care of himself except in that his social skills prevent him from having most jobs) and that i’ll just be poor and miserable and unable to have a wife and family which I’m almost sure is my vocation.

Anyway, what bugs me is that when I tell people my struggles they say things like “You are not your family’s savior, God is” and that “he won’t allow your greatest fears to happen” and most of all the whole idea that God will provide for my needs (the whole idea from Luke 12 about not worrying). This seems like such bull though. Sure there are people who put their trust in God and their lives had a fairytale ending but what about those that didn’t How many Catholics during World War Two prayed a ton of rosaries and other prayers but ended up dying in battle or in a concentration camp? How many people prayed and lived good lives so a loved one would live but God let them die? Did God just not feel they needed to live?

Anyway in my own life I feel like I can’t trust God. While my life is far from terrible, it feels like he is doing nothing to alleviate my fears. I feel like God is just going to allow the worst to happen to me and that my life on earth doesn’t matter and that even if i’m some poor bum God doesn’t care because it’s more important have faith.

There are several levels of your post. It’s hard for me to address them all right now, so I will take on just one.

You said your brother had Aspberger’s. Had you ever gone to Goodwill to see if they could find, or create, work for him? Sometimes, they can have sheltered workshops for people of various mental illnesses. They are typically more accommodating and understanding, because they work with all kinds of mental and physical disabilities. The Goodwill I used to live near worked with people with Aspberger’s. I think some of them worked there.

goodwill.org/ See “Jobs and services”.

What about Vocational Rehabilitation?

Would he qualify for Disability?

 

[tawny]

I not only need prayers but I need some advice. How do I begin to trust God when it seems like he could care less about what’s going on in my life?

First of all let me begin with that I have a ton of struggles in my life which i’ve mentioned previously. My biggest fear though is that I will be unsuccessful in life and that I will end up being some loser working a low wage job and be stuck living at home until God knows when (i’m 25 now) and that my life will end up being me basically taking care of my brother with aspergers (and by take care of him, I mean financially, he is very able of taking care of himself except in that his social skills prevent him from having most jobs) and that i’ll just be poor and miserable and unable to have a wife and family which I’m almost sure is my vocation.

Anyway, what bugs me is that when I tell people my struggles they say things like “You are not your family’s savior, God is” and that “he won’t allow your greatest fears to happen” and most of all the whole idea that God will provide for my needs (the whole idea from Luke 12 about not worrying). This seems like such bull though. Sure there are people who put their trust in God and their lives had a fairytale ending but what about those that didn’t How many Catholics during World War Two prayed a ton of rosaries and other prayers but ended up dying in battle or in a concentration camp? How many people prayed and lived good lives so a loved one would live but God let them die? Did God just not feel they needed to live?

Anyway in my own life I feel like I can’t trust God. While my life is far from terrible, it feels like he is doing nothing to alleviate my fears. I feel like God is just going to allow the worst to happen to me and that my life on earth doesn’t matter and that even if i’m some poor bum God doesn’t care because it’s more important have faith.

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength & fortitude to keep the faith. Put on the Armour of Christ.

 

[the_phoenix]

You do have a point, that your life in Heaven means more to God than your life on Earth.

Two examples come to mind:

1. St. Joan of Arc … Her worst fear was that she would die of fire. Well, her worst fear happened … She was burned at the stake. And is now in Heaven.
2. Blessed Jacinta Marto … one of the three shepherd children of Fatima who saw Mary … Her worst fear was that she would die alone. And she did in fact die alone … in a hospital, from the flu. And Mary said she would go to Heaven.

You know, I used to read the Lives of the Saints to try and pick out a patron saint who hadn’t suffered much in life. Guess what? Couldn’t find one. They all suffered.

That said. God is worth it.

And I do pray He will bless you.

~~ the phoenix

 

[ClearWater]

I not only need prayers but I need some advice. How do I begin to trust God when it seems like he could care less about what’s going on in my life?

First of all let me begin with that I have a ton of struggles in my life which i’ve mentioned previously. My biggest fear though is that I will be unsuccessful in life and that I will end up being some loser working a low wage job and be stuck living at home until God knows when (i’m 25 now) and that my life will end up being me basically taking care of my brother with aspergers (and by take care of him, I mean financially, he is very able of taking care of himself except in that his social skills prevent him from having most jobs) and that i’ll just be poor and miserable and unable to have a wife and family which I’m almost sure is my vocation.

Anyway, what bugs me is that when I tell people my struggles they say things like “You are not your family’s savior, God is” and that “he won’t allow your greatest fears to happen” and most of all the whole idea that God will provide for my needs (the whole idea from Luke 12 about not worrying). This seems like such bull though. Sure there are people who put their trust in God and their lives had a fairytale ending but what about those that didn’t How many Catholics during World War Two prayed a ton of rosaries and other prayers but ended up dying in battle or in a concentration camp? How many people prayed and lived good lives so a loved one would live but God let them die? Did God just not feel they needed to live?

Anyway in my own life I feel like I can’t trust God. While my life is far from terrible, it feels like he is doing nothing to alleviate my fears. I feel like God is just going to allow the worst to happen to me and that my life on earth doesn’t matter and that even if i’m some poor bum God doesn’t care because it’s more important have faith.

What would you consider “successful”?

I have seen some people through my volunteer work at a blind organization here in Mexico. We have one man here, who is not totally blind but almost. He works in some capacity at a rehabilitation center. In addition, he is in charge of the blind organization, which just celebrated its 20th anniversary.

In addition, he is married, has 2 adult children, both of whom are blind. I suspect he cares for them.

Also, on the side, he is in a musical group, performs with a mixture of blind and sighted people. He is on a CD. He plays a bunch of musical instruments.

He teaches us Braille, abacus. A week or two ago, he was helping some people practice church music.

Now, my Braille teacher’s son, one of them, is to graduate from the University, Fine Arts. I’ve heard him play piano, and it’s amazing! Also, he’s learning violin.

Try to approach this from a different angle, see the possibilities.

Sometimes, God gives us challenges and obstacles to see what we will do with them.

 

[ClearWater]

What about career counseling?

Maybe your brother could be, say, a projectionist, or some other profession that works more or less in isolation.

 

[fred_conty]

But how is it a blessing to be unable to get a better job and better life? I feel like i’m getting slapped in the junk and all I can say to not anger God is “thank you lord may I have another”. I am thankful for my family but honestly I feel like God just isn’t caring enough and I’m to the point where I just don’t want to do anything Even praying seems futile because God has made up his mind already. I must not deserve a decent job or family

Yes that is one way to look at your life, but then has that been good for you? God is sweet, loving, kind, good, understanding, patient, caring, and interested. Not for one second has he changed. He has always been that way and will be that way always. So maybe we should look for a more reasonable way.

God loves the lowly, the down and out, those that noone else is interested in, the poor, the destitute, and lonely.

Let’s take the lowly. He promised to lift them up, and to do the opposite to those who are looked up to. But we don’t believe him because everyone worldly obvisiously looks up to those who are rich and famous. And so we too, infuenced by our own society around us, begin to think that way as well.

No, God does look with caring on the poor and lowly. And he does lift them up, because they know he is their hope.

One remarkable feature about the saints is that no matter what sad experiences they were subjected to, they always said, “blessed be God”. Because they saw God working in a variety of ways, even in what appeared to be bad ways. But the saints knew better, that God has his own ways that we don’t always understand, but his ways are always for our own good. And so they would say in their worst moments, “thanks be to God” trusting him to be good even tho they were blind to it.

The one ingredient in our lives that is most important is to love him with all our hearts, all our soul, and all our strength, which means at every moment whether we experience it as good or bad.
The saints all knew this and always, always, thanked God for whatever he determined for them.

When we truely love someone, we trust them. There are no questions, we trust them. Jesus will never let you down ever. Just trust him and love him with all your heart, soul, mind, and body.
And always thank him.

What you are doing right now, is that working? He is waiting for you lovingly and patiently.

May Mary’s strength and love be with you.

 

[Cricket2]

First, change your thinking, which is possible but takes work.

There are plenty of programs to help people like your brother, and he should start being involved in those asap. If he does not get disability now, that would be something to check on. Then, get your parents involved in finding a way for your brother to be as independent as possible under the care of organizations that care for those with disabilities.

If you do that now, while everyone is healthy enough to help him adjust to this kind of assistance you will fare better in the long run.

Next, don’t use his issues as a reason to stay home. You are old enough to get out on your own. I don’t know enough about your education, but I will tell you this: It is more common for people to have at least 7 -10 different careers in a life time now, than not. Get used to the idea and start somewhere of interest if you can. Also, the vast majority of people will never make more than 40-50 K a year. That is the average wage in the USA. Only 2 % make 250K or more a year. All this means is you have to plan better, work a second job sometimes and bust your fanny to keep what you have…Don’t go around expecting God to make it easy on you. That is not how it works.

Heck my sister made more money than I did being a server. I had the degrees, she had the money. Trust God, not your ideas that you should be financially well off or promised an easy road. There is no such thing. Work hard, work two jobs if you have too and move out on your own sooner than later. If you have need of counseling go get some, on your own time and money. And if I sound tough, I have been there and done it all. Now I am 55 with two degrees, no job and taking care of a dying sister.

But I moved out, held down more than one job and made it on my own. I was poor and happy with that. Money is not everything. It helps, but it can also destroy. If you want steady work, then think of being a servant the rest of your life, such as a nurse, a server, a cop, a teacher. And please get over the idea that you will never have to work a second job to go with the full-time one you get. It is just a frequent fact of life. I had a friend who was a CEO and landed up having to work three jobs to keep her house.

 

[ClearWater]

If you would like, you can get counseling as to what to do about your brother. A psychologist should know about some area community resources and might be able to suggest some alternatives you may have not considered or be aware of.

Do you have health insurance? Depending on your insurance, it might even cover a few visits. Additionally, it’d give you an opportunity to vent, talk to a neutral person, get some emotional support. If you are fortunate, you might get a counselor with a lot of experience and many ideas, possible solutions.

 

[Arizona_Fat_Gir]

Ironically, I know of a man who took care of his wife for a long time after she was diagnosed with cancer. I know getting married seems to be a way to have a good, fulfilling life, it doesn’t always work the way you want it. This man took care of his wife until she died. He was single for a while after, but then he met a nice lady whom he thought could be the one to have a wonderful marriage with. He considered her a good match and they had plans to travel and enjoy life.

Shortly after the wedding, she fell and hurt her head. She was in a coma for weeks, and when she finally was able to leave the hospital, she was never right since. The impact of the fall caused a little brain damage. She doesn’t care to do anything or go anywhere, so again, he is a caregiver to her now.

It seems everyone thinks getting married and having the American dream will be idyllic and wonderful. Sometimes it doesn’t work that way. Apparently God wants him to serve these women he had married. Somebody had to do it, and that somebody was him.

It’s kind of strange how life is.

 

[WildCatholic]

Next, don’t use his issues as a reason to stay home. You are old enough to get out on your own. I don’t know enough about your education, but I will tell you this: It is more common for people to have at least 7 -10 different careers in a life time now, than not. Get used to the idea and start somewhere of interest if you can. Also, the vast majority of people will never make more than 40-50 K a year. That is the average wage in the USA. Only 2 % make 250K or more a year. All this means is you have to plan better, work a second job sometimes and bust your fanny to keep what you have…Don’t go around expecting God to make it easy on you. That is not how it works.

.

Let me tell you about my education. I have a teaching degree to teach social studies but I could not find work. So I substitute taught (still do btw) and also found a job at a grocery store where I work for just above minimum wage. I’m also getting my masters in Special Education and volunteering in a special needs classroom so its not like i’m sitting on my butt just waiting for something. If I could support myself I would but anymore I feel like it will never happen because for some reason it’s my destiny to be stuck at home no matter how hard i try.

And also I realize that I don’t need to make a lot of money. All I want is security. I could care less if I make only $25000 a year, but I want to be able to have a steady income. I could care less about being rich. It’s being secure and being able to afford food and shelter that I worry about. Why can’t God provide that for me. I’m not some selfish brat wanting to be a millionaire. Just a nice steady job that supports a family and puts food on the table is all I want. Anymore though it feels like that is not what i will ever achieve.

I will admit though that you are right about the whole thing about people having 7 or 8 jobs in their lifetime. I guess i just wish I lived back in the 50’s when you could put 40 years at an auto parts plant and have a decent life. Thats all I want. Just enough to live on and support myself. Is that too much. Or should I just accept God wants me to be a poor slacker living with my parents?

 

[PennyinCanada]

You are 25 and that is young. With what you are faced with that is scary and I don’t know of any way to handle such a situation except one. You have to eventually thank God for your situation and know that if this is what he wants of you, then it must be a blessing from him even tho on the outside of things it may not appear to be such. So if it were me, I would thank Jesus and tell him I love him, and then just tell him that you know he has your best interest in his heart. Then I would thank him again for his kindness.

I’m not telling you that you must do this, but I am saying if it were me that is what I would do. Because I know he then will find ways to make things happen to give me peace and love. And I can live with that and by that.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

I know you didn’t care for this answer, but I must agree with this reply. We have gone through many ups and downs in our life (hubby and myself) and every time there was a job loss, we praised and thanked God, confirming that He was good and loving, that we could hardly wait to see what he had in store for us. We set our eyes on you oh Lord, not on men, or kings or princes! You alone open and close doors and we wait on you. When we lost a family member to cancer and I could hardly get out of bed, I forced myself to consider that I had vision and many others were blind today, that I could swing my legs around out of bed and put them on the floor and many were in wheel chairs today, and so on. It was an act of the will to find something to be grateful for because I could get lost in grief. Many years ago, when I would stub my toe, I would jump up and down and say bad words. Then I made an act of the will that I would say Praise God instead. Even that small thing took effort but I know God saw my efforts. It’s still an effort today to not complain but praise God. I still complain, but I know for the big ticket items, no one helps like God who is indeed kind and generous upon those who wait on him and set their eyes on him.

How do you want to go forward? Do you want to plug into the power of God? Do you want to bring down blessings, on yourself, on your family, on the world? On your future? Make an act of the will today, again tomorrow before you get out of bed, and the next day and the next. If you haven’t gone to confession in a while, start planning on making a good confession and take care of it. We all need the power of God in our lives. May you come back on CA and give us a testimony to what God has done for you, so you might encourage others who are struggling. This is the grace I wish for you.

 

[BrethrenBoy]

When you feel like God doesn’t love you or care about you take a look at a crucifix. God loves you so much he became man and went through that for you. If you were the only person in the whole world he would’ve done it for you.

Do you have a priest you trust that you can discuss this with? Sometimes I feel that these kinds of issues are best worked out talking with someone face-to-face rather then looking at a computer screen.

 

[WildCatholic]

I know you didn’t care for this answer, but I must agree with this reply. We have gone through many ups and downs in our life (hubby and myself) and every time there was a job loss, we praised and thanked God, confirming that He was good and loving, that we could hardly wait to see what he had in store for us. We set our eyes on you oh Lord, not on men, or kings or princes! You alone open and close doors and we wait on you. When we lost a family member to cancer and I could hardly get out of bed, I forced myself to consider that I had vision and many others were blind today, that I could swing my legs around out of bed and put them on the floor and many were in wheel chairs today, and so on. It was an act of the will to find something to be grateful for because I could get lost in grief. Many years ago, when I would stub my toe, I would jump up and down and say bad words. Then I made an act of the will that I would say Praise God instead. Even that small thing took effort but I know God saw my efforts. It’s still an effort today to not complain but praise God. I still complain, but I know for the big ticket items, no one helps like God who is indeed kind and generous upon those who wait on him and set their eyes on him.

How do you want to go forward? Do you want to plug into the power of God? Do you want to bring down blessings, on yourself, on your family, on the world? On your future? Make an act of the will today, again tomorrow before you get out of bed, and the next day and the next. If you haven’t gone to confession in a while, start planning on making a good confession and take care of it. We all need the power of God in our lives. May you come back on CA and give us a testimony to what God has done for you, so you might encourage others who are struggling. This is the grace I wish for you.

That’s the thing I go to confession every week. I go to mass and lector at my church and volunteer with kids with severe disorders. What more do I have to do to show God that I care and deserve blessings. I make a lot of efforts. I used to like you be very vocal when I’d get frustrated but thanks to having a job working with the public I suppress my feelings even when I’m so mad I could punch someone. Yet does God reward me? Its not like I want God to be my vending machine, but at least give me something to work with. I fear that even with my masters and my renewed passion for my work that people will just reject me. Anymore thats the only reason I still believe in God. At least he’ll never reject me as a person even if he doesn’t answer my prayers

 

[WildCatholic]

When you feel like God doesn’t love you or care about you take a look at a crucifix. God loves you so much he became man and went through that for you. If you were the only person in the whole world he would’ve done it for you.

Do you have a priest you trust that you can discuss this with? Sometimes I feel that these kinds of issues are best worked out talking with someone face-to-face rather then looking at a computer screen.

I had a spiritual director but driving 160 miles for that just seems kind of silly. Locally though I don’t. My now priest is alright but he just keeps saying “it’ll get better” of course for him they do. he’s in a parish where he’s close to his hometown and doesn’t have to do a lot of work because it’s small and the people take care of a lot of things.

 

[St_Francis]

WildCatholic,
You are worried about many things… which are not even yet happening. How old is your brother? How old are your parents?

Right now, you are doing the right things. You have one degree for the field you want to go into and are expanding your abilities in the same field.

I do know that there are programs to bring teachers to out of the way places, and other places that have a hard time getting teachers. This may be a good starting point for you. My friend had a teaching degree and was only able to get a job in a rural setting, bit after she had gotten a few years’s experience there, she was able to get a job in a large suburban/urban system near her family, where she had applied to no avail before.

Maybe you could get back in touch with your previous SD and arrange to do some of your conversations by email and/or phone or Skype so that you wouldn’t have to travel so much. There is a great deal in Catholic life which could help you focus on what is happening today instead of worrying so much about the future, which seems to be the main basis of your problem.

I started learning about this in The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis–your library should have it or be able to get it for you. One of the chapters particularly discusses how the devil plays on our fears of the future, and he puts it very well.

 

[powerofk]

WildCatholic, there’s really only one thing you can do. I’ve had quite the struggle in my life, as well, for the last 9+ years. I’m a certified teacher, but due to struggles in my profession in the past, I’ve been working as an educational assistant. Until recently, I could barely pay my rent or bills. However, God’s main mission for me during that time has been different, though I have only now really recognized it. The children I’ve worked with as an EA have been students with severe disabilities - quite often treated as the least of all people in our society. It has been through working with them that God has taught me to love. In addition, God has needed me to help transform the life of my beautiful wife, who I helped through school and gain a career of her own. God LOVES you, but the only thing you can do is ask the Lord, “What do you need me to do?” Scream it if you need to. And be open to whatever path He takes you on. Let Him be the driver and take you for the ride of a lifetime.

Just remember what Jesus Himself said, “Do not worrry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Suffice for a day is its own evil”.

 

[CathConvert602]

I would like to extend my sympathies; I know how unfair life seems sometimes. I would also like to point out that God has blessed you. You have a roof over your head, family, even access to the web (since you’re on this forum)

Of course, sometimes it’s hard to see that there are blessings around when we focus on where we are lacking. When we focus on creatures instead of focussing on God we naturally desire that which we focus upon.

For good inspiration check your Catechism, paragraphs 520, 531-533; In scripture look towards the beatitudes (Mt 5:1-12) and pray to the holy spirit to work within you to increase your faith.

I am praying for you.