I continue to struggle with the church's teachings on salvation. part xvi

[captainmike]

three years ago, at age 40, i became catholic. i had been episcopalian for 22 years before that, and southern baptist for 18 years before that.

one unrepented mortal sin will send me to hell? really? one sin takes me out of a state of grace and, if i die before i repent, i go to hell for all eternity. hard to accept.

it’s especially hard to accept given that the church doesn’t precisely define what a mortal sin is. if i look at a woman for ten seconds and have a lustful thought, is that a mortal sin? what if i look at her for a minute and think about her the rest of the day? mortal sin? it seems impossible to know whether you are in a state of mortal sin.

i know, i know, “if in doubt, confess.” with that as the standard, we’d all be in confession every day, and that’s obviously impractical. the frustrating thing is, we all have to decide for ourselves whether a sin we’ve committed is serious enough to be a mortal sin. given the possible eternal consequences of making the wrong call and not confessing the sin to a priest before we die, that’s very frustrating.

but here’s my biggest problem: i can’t conceive of a christian failing to repent a sin. do i sin? of course. am i capable of not repenting? no. i really don’t think i have free will not to repent. thus, the whole concept of failing to repent a mortal sin doesn’t make sense to me. i don’t believe it is possible for a christian not to repent.

help, please.

 

[DOShea]

one unrepented mortal sin will send me to hell? really? one sin takes me out of a state of grace and, if i die before i repent, i go to hell for all eternity. hard to accept.

What is the difficulty accepting it? Read Genesis 3. God says “Don’t,” man says “I’m going to.” It’s an offense against God, the giver of life. We get the same choice(s) Adam and Eve got. God says “Thou shalt not…” and when we say “I’m going to anyway,” it’s sin. If the gravity of the sin is serious enough, the offense against God deep enough, and we don’t repent, we’re toast. Forever.

it’s especially hard to accept given that the church doesn’t precisely define what a mortal sin is.

In all seriousness, how could the Church do that and cover every possible instance of sin? Sin is a problem from the heart of man, and each heart is different and uniquely susceptible to certain sins. That’s why it’s so hard to avoid, because you let your guard down for two seconds and you’re circling Saturday on the calendar for Reconciliation. It’s hard, but it’s hard for everyone. At the end of his life, St. Paul says “I fought the good fight” and “I persevered to the end.” What was he fighting, and what did he persevere against? Sin, which would have broken his relationship with God, and ultimately caused him to stray from the faith.

if i look at a woman for ten seconds and have a lustful thought, is that a mortal sin? what if i look at her for a minute and think about her the rest of the day? mortal sin? it seems impossible to know whether you are in a state of mortal sin.

No one except God can see into your heart, so only the two of you really know. One thing that helped me is to imagine being in among the group of Jesus disciples and as your walking along you say out loud what you were thinking in your heart. Would Jesus, in your opinion, stop short, turn around and rebuke you, or would He just keep on walking? This is pretty simplistic I know, it’s really just another version of what I taught my kids about what they type on the internet. If they wouldn’t be comfortable reading it along in front of their grandmother, they shouldn’t type it. But simple tools like that help make it easy so you aren’t spending the day trying to decide if you’ve lost sanctifying grace or not.

This is a good reason for frequent confession. If you go every 6 months or every year, you end up dumping a big bucket of sins and you don’t remember what was in your bucket last year. Go every month or two and you’ll pick right up on the issues that you’re confessing again and again and again. Then you can know better where to focus your efforts on avoiding the situations or circumstances that draw you close to sin.

… the frustrating thing is, we all have to decide for ourselves whether a sin we’ve committed is serious enough to be a mortal sin. given the possible eternal consequences of making the wrong call and not confessing the sin to a priest before we die, that’s very frustrating.

Yes, it is. All the more reason to go frequently and let your confessor help you figure out these situations and help you to avoid them. Also a good thing to keep in the forefront of your daily prayers - asking for the help (grace) to avoid those sins.

but here’s my biggest problem: i can’t conceive of a christian failing to repent a sin. do i sin? of course. am i capable of not repenting? no. i really don’t think i have free will not to repent. thus, the whole concept of failing to repent a mortal sin doesn’t make sense to me. i don’t believe it is possible for a christian not to repent.

help, please.

Well, they do. People justify their actions all the time to different degrees and as a result they have a tendency to downplay the seriousness of the sin and its effect on their relationship with God. Unlike one of those dog collar things with the shocking device in it, when we sin we don’t feel any immediate effects. I guess that’s part of our free wills. Imagine what it would be like if we were knocked off our feet every time we sinned? Then people would take it much more seriously, but our relationship with God would not be out of genuine love, but only coercion to avoid getting knocked down all the time.

I wish I could give you better words of encouragement, but all I can tell you is you are not alone. We all sin, we all struggle, we all have to put effort into discerning if our sins are grave or not. All we can do is what St. Paul did, fight against it our whole life, and persevere to the end.

 

[diggerdomer]

three years ago, at age 40, i became catholic. i had been episcopalian for 22 years before that, and southern baptist for 18 years before that.

one unrepented mortal sin will send me to hell? really? one sin takes me out of a state of grace and, if i die before i repent, i go to hell for all eternity. hard to accept.

it’s especially hard to accept given that the church doesn’t precisely define what a mortal sin is. if i look at a woman for ten seconds and have a lustful thought, is that a mortal sin? what if i look at her for a minute and think about her the rest of the day? mortal sin? it seems impossible to know whether you are in a state of mortal sin.

i know, i know, “if in doubt, confess.” with that as the standard, we’d all be in confession every day, and that’s obviously impractical. the frustrating thing is, we all have to decide for ourselves whether a sin we’ve committed is serious enough to be a mortal sin. given the possible eternal consequences of making the wrong call and not confessing the sin to a priest before we die, that’s very frustrating.

but here’s my biggest problem: i can’t conceive of a christian failing to repent a sin. do i sin? of course. am i capable of not repenting? no. i really don’t think i have free will not to repent. thus, the whole concept of failing to repent a mortal sin doesn’t make sense to me. i don’t believe it is possible for a christian not to repent.

help, please.

Don’t be overscrupulous. If you are aware of mortal sin and repent or intend to repent of it sincerely then you shouldn’t worry.