I converted 5 months ago and I need help

[Mystrx]

Pretty sure I can say that Jesus is happy you converted to the Catholic faith. Welcome home.

If you’re 18 years old and unmarried, don’t worry about random married converts trying to receive sacraments. That’s not your issue in front of you. I think if I were you I would focus on discerning God’s will for YOUR life. And also if I really were you, I would spend time and Adoration at my parish. Also, I would get involved in Parish life–find out about their “young adults” group so you increase the odds of meeting a faithful Catholic man to marry.

There’s an expression that “you become like the five people you are surrounded with the most.” I think that’s very true. Try to list the five people you interact with the most hours of each day. If you have positive coworkers you are usually more positive. If you have a sarcastic, cynical family members-you’re most likely sarcastic too. If you have negative, cranky friends you’re usually more negative and cranky. If you have holy friends it will help you become more holy. Find really excellent Catholic friends.

God bless!

This is all good advice. Go talk to your priest also and talk about your concerns.

 

[Lucretius]

So I became Catholic in May and I’ve had some struggles during these five months. I hope you guys could help me.

First up is the Church’s teaching on marriage. I have** very** negative feelings about the fact that those converts who have remarried (or married someone who’s divorced) can’t receive sacraments and that the Church doesn’t fully welcome them into the family and treats them as “2nd class Catholics”. Just to make it clear, I myself am not in this situation because I’m not married (and haven’t ever been) but I feel very bad for those who would like to follow Jesus but get rejected by the Church. For a little while I even thought that I probably wouldn’t had joined the Church at all if I was in that situation but I changed my mind. Now I think I would have joined the Church but I would had kept it a secret from everyone… And if I was in that situation I’d most likely attend Mass in secresy in a Parish where nobody knew me and never attend prayer meetings, youth clubs etc. and stay far away from other Catholics… So in short: I’ve struggled with this a lot.

The other thing is that I’m very worried about my future (I’m 18). I think it’s nearly impossible to find a good Catholic (or even a Christian) husband in this very secular and Protestant country where Catholics are a very small minority. Finding a man who accepts the Church’s teachings on premarital sex, cohabitating and contraception and doesn’t have a problem with me raising the children to follow the Catholic faith is going to be so so so hard and it depresses me. Maybe I’m just going to stay single for the rest of my life because at the end of the day Jesus is the only man I need.

Despite all this, I still feel like becoming Catholic was the right thing to do and I strongly believe that Jesus is happy I did it. I just need a bit help.

Hello chasingcars!

I think you might need to reframe the issue a bit. First of all, the Church hasn’t made divorce a sin, like it once made eating meat on Fridays one, but rather Christ “did.” But even saying this misses the nature of sin: sin isn’t a rejection of an arbitrary command of God, rather it is a objective perversion of yourself and others. Sins have consequences built into their nature. Divorce in particular destroys the family and harms Children. The Church isn’t in the wrong here; divorce is.

Furthermore, divorce is a sin, but those who get divorce can receive absolution and continue to receive communion. The more controversial sin is “remarriage,” because it is not a sin, but rather a perpetual habit of sins. A “remarried” couple, at the very least, commit adultery every time they have sex. If a remarried person wanted to have communion again, they would have to stop having sex with the person who isn’t his/her spouse, until they could get married.

Does that make more sense?

Christi pax,

Lucretius

 

[Casilda]

divorce is a sin

2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.

Divorce is not a sin.

 

[Lucretius]

2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.

Divorce is not a sin.

Excuse me, you are correct. If scum leaves his wife for another woman, it is not her fault.

However, the Catechism clearly is referring to civil marriage, not Sacramental marriage. A divorce in a Sacramental marriage is a sin, period.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

 

[chasingcars]

Thank you guys for answers, I think I have a bit better understanding now (though I’m not happy with it at all).