Hi Sarah,
First, may the peace and love of Jesus be with you always. The Holy Spirit will guide you to the truth eventually but you have to keep searching.
Here is my take on the opinions you expressed. Christ made Peter the head of his Church and sent the Holy Spirit to guide Her after his resurrection. Let us not forget that Peter was a sinner, so was/is any Pope or priest or nun, so am I and so are you. Let us also not forget that the Pope is not the Church, but the head of the Church just like Peter. Can you imagine what Christianity will be like if there was no authoritative body (the Catholic Church) to protect and spread the message of Christ. Who would have put together and protected the Bible as we know it for 1500 years before the Church started to splinter if not an authoritative Catholic Church. Jesus promised that he will be with his Church until the end of time. If we are Christians, we are confident that Jesus was with his Church within the first 1500 years and is still with his Church today. There is only one church, the CATHOLIC CHURCH, which existed (and still exists) within the first 1500 years. If Jesus promised that he will be with his church always till the end of time, we can be sure that He was with the Catholic Church all the time, regardless of the morality of the person (Pope) occupying the Chair of Peter. As I mentioned earlier, the Pope is not the Church. Furthermore, Jesus gave the power to the Catholic Church to bind and unbind things here on earth knowing that She will be guided by the Holy Spirit. Therefore Her teachings regarding faith or morals are binding to we Catholics even if they are not popular (abortion, presence of Jesus in the Eucharist).
Look at the thousands of different Christian denominations, each one doing its own thing, exactly what Jesus prayed against. Members of a family quarrel but the quarrel should not lead to the disintegration of the family. I wonder how Jesus feels.
I am not saying that none catholics go to hell. If we consider the thief that was crucified with Jesus, any body can make it to heaven, even at the last minute. However, there is no denying that modern christianity leaves a lot to be desired. “Men and women of god” set up shop everywhere, preach falsehoods, heresy and make money and simultaeneously claim they are guided by the Holy Spirit. Very sad.
I am convinced the Holy Spirit has not left the Catholic Church and so will remain a Catholic until I die.