I could use some saint suggestions

[Baho]

Hey folks, it’s me again. Thank you so much for your help and for being here in general. This is a great community and I truly do appreciate it and you.

So my wife and I are being confirmed next month and our two young children are being baptized right after. I chose St Joseph as my confirmation saint and my wife chose St Anne. The thing is, I don’t know how to choose saints for my kids as they’re 2 and 4. If we had been Catholic when they were born we would have named them after saints and used those saints for their baptism, but we weren’t Catholic and so they have secular names. Now that they’re older I figure I should choose saints that line up with their own personalities or personal struggles but, since they’re so young, it seems hard to know what those are. If we can’t find saints that really stand out to us, I think we will not choose saints for them at their baptism and they can choose saints when they’re older and being confirmed.

So I was hoping that I could share some defining characteristics about them and that maybe you could suggest saints based on that? Here’s the info:

My son is quiet and enjoys alone time but he’s very smart. The most special thing about him I think is his extreme sense empathy. As a baby he would cry just because another child was, and when my wife got scared once and cried he just cried along with her. If he feels that he has done something wrong, he’ll put himself and timeout and break down into tears. Sometimes I feel really bad that he’s so emotional, but I also think that its really sweet that he cares so much about others and has such a conscience. He’s also very goofy and loves to tell jokes.

My daughter is beautiful and also extremely intelligent/articulate for her age. She speaks at least as well as my son who is twice her age. She LOVES music and art. Her whole life she has loved anything that has music, loved singing (she’s actually really good), and enjoyed dancing. She draws a lot too. The defining characteristic about her I think is how maternal she is. She has been extremely drawn to babies and baby dolls since she could crawl, walk and talk. She carries them around and shushes them to sleep, sings to them, feeds them. She can be really feisty and sassy too though. She doesn’t have the same natural guilt that my son does at all (but a lot of times I think her sass is just putting on a show or checking boundaries).

Can you think of any good suggestions based on any of that? What advice would you give me about this matter in general?

Thank you for your time!
Baho

 

[fredystairs]

For your daughter I would suggest St Cecilia who is the patron saint of music, and St. Catherine of Bologna who is patron saint of art since she likes music and art.

You could also check to see who the patron saint is on the day they were born. Many have been named after the saint whose feast day they were born on.

I think it’s good that your doing this.

Pax

 

[Baho]

Is there some expectation for me to change my child’s name if I have them baptized in the name of a saint if they’re already several years old? Also, thank you so much! Awesome suggestion that fits so well and I really appreciate it.

 

[otjm]

It has been my experience that children are already named by their parents before they are baptized, and they are baptized with those names. As your children are already named, there is no particular reason to be looking for other names.

Another name - a saint’s name - is normally chosen when they children are confirmed.

 

[Baho]

@otjm that’s what we figured and how we have been viewing it. Our kids are 2 and 4. It’s not that we don’t want them to have saints praying for them or anything, its that it seems weird to baptize them in the name of a saint they won’t ever be named after.

 

[Dovekin]

St Cecilia is who I thought of as well.

There is a story of St Dominic when he was a student in the middle ages. He saw people being sold as slaves and he sold his books to free them. He felt it was not right for him to value the animal skins (parchment) above the human skins of the enslaved.

You can probably find other stories of compassion from many saints, that is just what I thought of.

Your children do not have to use their baptismal names. When children are baptized just after their birth, the baptismal name is generally the name used. But if they already have another name, the baptismal name can just be an extra middle name. Or you can have them baptized with their original name, depending on what it is.

 

[Baho]

@Dovekin St Dominic is a really good idea. About the middle name thing, isn’t their confirmation name also an additional middle name? I really think it’s neat to choose a saint for them but I’m really not about toying with their name in any way. Its like with arguing about whether or not my wife and I would have to be remarried. I know that my wife IS my wife, there’s no question in my mind and its so central to my life and my identity that I kind of took great offense at the idea that my marriage might be viewed as invalid by someone. I kind of feel the same way with my kids. They’ve got secular Scottish names. I wasn’t baptized when they were born and it was a family heritage thing. But those names have been with my kids since months before they were born. That’s who they are to me. So when my deacon was like “oh those are fine names but you could always choose different ones now” I was so taken aback.

Hopefully you get that I’m sharing my feelings about this matter generally and that I’m not in any way, shape or form unhappy with you. I really appreciate your response and it helps me understand the implications of choosing a saint for baptism. Your suggestion is great too. I’m just kind of ranting haha. Thank you, again.

 

[InThePew]

Our kids are 2 and 4. It’s not that we don’t want them to have saints praying for them or anything, its that it seems weird to baptize them in the name of a saint they won’t ever be named after.

There’s no obligation to baptise them in the name of a saint (we are all saints in the making after all) so I would suggest that you park this issue for now and come back to it when they’re being confirmed and then let them choose their own saints’ names.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I’ve never heard of very young children being baptized in the name of a saint. Is this some local custom?
I was not baptized in the name of any saint afaik.
When I was 13 I was confirmed and at that point I was able to choose my own confirmation saint.

 

[Baho]

@InThePew @Tis_Bearself

Based on your comments and the feeling I already had about it being weird, I’m going to choose not to have them baptized in the name of any saints. They can find their own saints for confirmation when they’re older. I’ll definitely being suggesting Cecilia and Dominic, though. Also Maximilian Kolbe for my boy.

Thanks folks!

 

[Elf01]

I was not baptized in the name of any saint afaik.
When I was 13 I was confirmed and at that point I was able to choose my own confirmation saint.

As far as I know there is no Saint with my first name. I have a middle name though and that is a Saints name.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

You’ve received good advice here already; I’m just chiming in to say since my children were about the age of your oldest (5-6 maybe), they’ve really enjoyed learning about “their” special saint that shares our children’s birthdays as their feast days. My daughter knows her birthday Saint well and has a particularly nice devotion to her for a child of her age. When confirmation comes in a year or two, who knows…? Maybe she’ll stick with this one, maybe she’ll add another.