I don,t know what to do

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johnthebaptist1

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I,am having a problem,and don,t know how to handle it.
See ,my wife gets mad at me because ,I take so long in saying the Rosary,She said,s it only takes her a short time, I told her I ,like too say the Rosary devotely,medating on each
Mystery,first,than I being the decade. I also like praying my pray card,s to Jesus,Mary
andSaints. But my wife said,s,that I don,t have to pray so much. I told her that I love to pray, because it keeps me close to GOD.I also Love saying the Rosary,because, It also
helps for the Salvation of the world and the Salvation of our Soul.
OUR LADY, Loves us the more ,when we devote ourselfs to the ROSARY,.this shows we are truly devote to her “IMMACULATE HEART’”
And 99 percent of the time, I Say my Rosary and pray cards, when everyone is Sleeping,
because I can concerate better. But I still got to her from my wife, you pray too much. She has told me many of times, may be you should of be a monk,since you like praying so much.I LOVE praying the Rosary,because ,OUR LADY has gotten me threw many
dificultie times. in my life. She,takes my prays to her son “JESUS”,who helps me. For Jesus is my strenght.He is also my GOD,my LORD,MY SAVOR,and my Brother,who
came too save me a sinner. I just wish my wife would understand,why I love praying so much,and not say what she said,s about my praying. So no matter what she said,s, I will
pray till GOD calls me HOME. I also told her, that when you say the Rosary,that the TV
should be off,so you can concerate better ,also that ,there should be no talking to others
while praying the Rosary. That your mine should be concerateing on the mysterys of the Rosary only.,but she said,s I,ll say the Rosary, the way I feel like saying it.
I some times say the Rosary, three times a day,because I,am devote to THE HOLY
ROSARY,which OUR LADY gave us to say.I also lead the Rosary at the Latin Mass,
it makes me feel so good,because I never lead the Rosary before, until, some one at the Latin Mass,ask if I would like too lead us,saying the Rosary. Now they look to see if I,am there too lead them.
Code: 
       May God help my wife understand,and help her to want to pray more offen,
      like I do.
 
St Paul tells us to pray without ceasing. That’s not a suggestion merely for monks and priests, but for each and every one of us. Given that, there’s hardly such a thing as ‘too much prayer’.

Especially if you’re mostly praying while others are asleep - I presume you’re getting all your daily duties done, as well as making plenty of time for your family as well? Does your wife perhaps feel left out because you don’t confide your problems in her or something?

It is important for those of us who are ‘in the world’ not to let worldly things crowd out and suffocate our prayer life - see the parable of the sower, where some of the seeds are choked by weeds and thorns which are ‘the cares of this world’.

So keep praying, I say! I only wish I had enough self-discipline to make plenty of time for prayer.
 
try telling her what you just told us. maybe she will understand such a wonderful explanation of prayer.

God Bless
 
Such sincere devotion to Our Lady. Ask her for help here. She is the Queen of Peace and Queen of the Family.

One additional idea is to greet her Guardian Angel when you begin praying with her. Ask the Guardian for “some tips and ideas.”

And then ask Mary if she’d mind if you moved more at your wife’s pace every now and then.
 
Helllo johnthebaptist1,

Of course it is very nice that you want to pray the rosary and that you do so. You write that you pray the rosary three times per day (and much slower than your wife) plus your prayer cards, are there other prayers that you pray? This may sound extraordinary but here it goes…you don’t want to forget your duties to your wife. You may want to speak with a priest regarding this matter. It may not be fair to your wife for you to spend a lot of time praying, she may need attention. You don’t want your wife getting upset and feeling disturbed. It is something to consider.

I was under a similar predicament a couple of years ago and I was shocked by the advice of my priest. There I was attending daily Mass and experiencing infused prayer before Mass when I kneeled and prayed in front of the altar (not even in front of the Blessed Sacrament) it was glorious and I even experienced my soul perfumed with an aroma that was like lilac not sure how to describe it. Glorious! Of course, I thought everything was fine as God was giving me this gift and obviously wanted me to go to Mass - with such encouragement - who wouldn’t? The problem I was encountering at the time was complying with all my duties and obligations as I attended daily Mass and prayed for half an hour in front of the altar before it began. I consulted a priest as I was also wondering God’s will for me and why these things were happening. The priest told me that Heaven is very nice but we are still here on earth and that I could only go to Mass if I comply with all my duties and responsibilites. Again, I was shocked, afterall, God was my accomplice. But, I was obedient. It was not easy the first weeks but, as time when on it was not so difficult. I also realized how correct the priest was even though his recommendation did not make a lot of sense at the time and it was a great sacrifice for me.

Now, I go to daily Mass when I can and after making sure that it’s okay.

Peace,

Abba
 
My aunt and uncle were probably similar to you and your wife. It is noticeable to others that there is a difference in temperament. You are who you are, and, that is why she loved you! You tell her that! My uncle wanted his grandson to be a priest, and, he did not. He was more peaceful, less temperamental. A male cousin of mine seems monkish!

Here is the answer: Become more involved with parish activities, find support with a men’s group in the parish, or ask to start one! Your wife might join another group! I truly believe that you will find the strength to stand up to your wife, to be a prayerful person if you can find a group of men with the same needs!

Also, as another poster said, Adoration is a good time to pray. Of course, sometimes a husband and wife will come together.

The last thought would be these marriage weekends, not necessarily retrouvaille, some are for married couples from a few parishes who go on a weekend retreat together, and, discovering their love for each other!

My cousin is getting involved, and, also with a civic group, and, he seems less monkish to me than before! He is not married though, div.

I do have a cousin who IS a monk at St. Meinrad, and, I believe that he has many friends and family. You might go on a retreat there! I woukd if I were you!

Happy Valentine’s Day!
 
sacrifice some of your personal prayer time to pray with your wife, at her speed and comfort level, and with your children esp. at bedtime, and family prayers. Leave off looking for your own comfort and consolations in prayer for the time being and make your prayer for them, even if it means adapting how and when you pray to do it as a couple, and as a family.
 
puzzleannie said:
sacrifice some of your personal prayer time to pray with your wife, at her speed and comfort level, and with your children esp. at bedtime, and family prayers. Leave off looking for your own comfort and consolations in prayer for the time being and make your prayer for them, even if it means adapting how and when you pray to do it as a couple, and as a family.
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What a great answer. We need to be self-less, and other oriented, especially in our prayer. Thank you for the reminder.
 
My God bless you and your wife abundantly. I think the situation is endearing, although I can see the pressure. I pray the rosary a little slower than others too. When I watch it on EWTN I am amazed at how fast they do it. Maybe your wife can be a little more patient with you. It’s not a competition to the finish line.

We can live a holy life in the world and in the state of life that God has called us. Even when I am washing dishes or taking care of my elderly father - I am praying because I offer my work to the Lord. We can embrace our life in the world, I am not a nun and you are not a monk. I don’t think that Jesus was not praying when he cured the lepers.

May the Peace of Our Lord Jesus Christ be with you and your wife,

God bless,

Abba
 
Just tell her what you told us, and continue to pray, but since you are married and I assume you have a family? Don’t forget that you also have duties toward your family, somehting that my dad forgets. Another thing, don’t impose your style of prayer on anyone, just because you feel the TV should be off and no one should be talking does not mean that others should do the same. When I pray the rosary once in a while I will have music like meditation, Gregorian, or even Eastern Orthodox chanting. No one if required to pray the Rosary, and there is no official way of saying it. It’s a great prayer, but some of us just pray it differently.
 
Please recognize that your wife is spiritualy at a different place than you. When she criticizes - just smile and say “sorry, you know how I get carried away”.

Also - don’t be afraid to interrupt God for God. By that, I mean if you are praying to God and someone interrupts and requires an act of charity. That too is a gift to God. So stop the prayers and perform the act of charity. Your wife needs you, your children need you. A stranger on the street may need you. These acts of charity are more pleasing to God than prayers. You can always finish your rosary later, and if you can’t - ask your guardian angel to finish it for you.

Peace,
John Marie Philomena
 
johnthebaptist1 said:
I,am having a problem,and don,t know how to handle it.
See ,my wife gets mad at me because ,I take so long in saying the Rosary,She said,s it only takes her a short time… May God help my wife understand,and help her to want to pray more offen,
like I do.
Click to expand...
It sounds like she is jealous of the time and attention she is not getting.
 
Sometimes people’s prayer habits go through different stages and people who have prayed together may find that their ways of praying, or length, intensity and so on don’t match up. This has happened to me with friends from time to time.

Like maybe someone “gets carried away” in praying out loud, and I get fidgety because I thought that the party(ies) were done praying! 🤷 This can happen in prayer groups too. It doesn’t mean I’m against the idea of praying; I’m just done, or maybe getting tired at the end of an evening, and the other(s) still has/have plenty of energy! 😉

I’ve finally come to the conclusion - just be patient. And charitable - which sometimes I’ve failed at. :o Trying to make up for it. If I need to explain that I’m getting tired, I try to do so in a low-key way and not sound critical. Maybe your wife just doesn’t know how to communicate this in a way that is easier to take. Give her time, don’t pressure her, and ask God to help you both find balance and harmony in the area of prayer. :gopray: :gopray:
 
There are obligations according to one’s status, and to keep this obligations are primary for one’s Catholic life.

When one marries, with the contracts either the man and the woman gives his body to his spouse, and together with this his time. He and she have the moral obligation to please the other party, and no party can say that Corban

Mark 7:11-12 But you say: If a man shall say to his father or mother, Corban, (which is a gift,) whatsoever is from me, shall profit thee. And further you suffer him not to do any thing for his father or mother,

This is true to the wife too.
 
People, why all the criticism?

There’s no indication here at all that the poster is doing anything at all out of the ordinary other than praying while the other people in the household are asleep (which itself isn’t exactly out of the ordinary for many people).

Three rosaries a day would take a bit over an hour total at average speed - hardly a massive amount of time. People waste far more time in front of the idiot box and on other similarly useless pursuits every day.

There’s no hint in the slightest that he’s neglecting his family or other duties in any fashion, no indication that he’s praying with his wife but going faster than her, or praying aloud and distracting anyone for that reason. No hint of any valid reason for his wife to be upset at all, in fact.
 
LilyM said:
People, why all the criticism?

There’s no indication here at all that the poster is doing anything at all out of the ordinary other than praying while the other people in the household are asleep (which itself isn’t exactly out of the ordinary for many people).
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My understanding is that the original poster want this group to endorse him in a family dispute: is he allowed to pray Rosary if his wife is complaining about it.

We do not knpw any further details. Is he praying in the same room where his wife is sleeping on he has a separate room? Does he provides enough cuddling to his wife or she is complaining because she feels the lack of cuddling?

The Christian principle is that that his body belongs to the wife, he shall please his wife. We shall not endorse him, that claiming Corban (gift to God) gives relief from this obligation.
 
Sounds like a give more and take less situation. But your right there are many unknowns.

You know time management considered, it takes 15-minutes or so to pray the Rosary, that 3X is 45-minutes. Even to double the time taken is 1-1/2hrs.

Now I’d be the first to tell you its easier said than done. But for the soul that is seriously seeking this goal and direction, it would seem one would be able to find the time, no?

Good to see you still stopping by though John, hope it works out. I’m sure it will.
 
LilyM said:
People, why all the criticism?

There’s no indication here at all that the poster is doing anything at all out of the ordinary other than praying while the other people in the household are asleep (which itself isn’t exactly out of the ordinary for many people).

Three rosaries a day would take a bit over an hour total at average speed - hardly a massive amount of time. People waste far more time in front of the idiot box and on other similarly useless pursuits every day.

There’s no hint in the slightest that he’s neglecting his family or other duties in any fashion, no indication that he’s praying with his wife but going faster than her, or praying aloud and distracting anyone for that reason. No hint of any valid reason for his wife to be upset at all, in fact.
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I agree. I was not trying to say there is a rational source for her upset. However, whether it is irrational or not, she is upset, which is not his intention. I think people are just trying to shed some light on why she might be taking his prayer life so hard.

One must also keep in mind that the devil does not want us to pray, especially in this meditative fashion. Such prayers have the effect of storming the gates of hell, so if there are any detrimental spiritual forces at work in this house then they are going to thrash and scream when the Rosary is brought to bear. It may be that the source of the problem is the spiritual warfare.
 
“One must also keep in mind that the devil does not want us to pray, especially in this meditative fashion. Such prayers have the effect of storming the gates of hell, so if there are any detrimental spiritual forces at work in this house then they are going to thrash and scream when the Rosary is brought to bear. It may be that the source of the problem is the spiritual warfare.”

Certainly a thought.🙂
 
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