I have been catholic all my life and almost allways went to church. But in my teens and 20’s I did alot of searching and questioning.
I started hanging out with many pagan,atheists,and same sex attracted people. Since I came back to my faith, I have had to let all my friends know I could not be with them any longer, because they lived a wrong lifestyle. They don’t understand.
I tried to join christian singles, theology on tap, our local young adult group, I just don’t seem to fit in. I don’t know how to talk to people. I normaly just stay home. I am very lonely. I hide behind my work.
how can I find christian friends?
I’m kind of the same way, although I can’t identify with the same sex attraction. I just prefer to be alone, and I don’t get along with people very well. I’m happily married and I communicate just fine with my husband, but other than him, I really don’t have any friends. And that’s OK with me.
I think it’s a family thing, the way our family is. We just keep to ourselves a great deal of the time.
I don’t know if this suggestion will help you or not, but it helps me. I write novels.
I love the sport of figure skating, especially the discipline of synchronized skating, and I actually do enjoy hanging out with skating people (moms and skaters, coaches, other fans, etc.)
So I wrote novels about synchronized skating. It really helps me to have this imaginary world where I can make people say,do, and think what I want them to say, do, and think. I’ve published two of the novels–they mainly have appeal to skaters and their families.
I also write novels and screenplays about other topics, although skating seems to find its way into a lot of these stories. Many of my efforts fizzle after several chapters or scenes, but I just keep starting over again.
I enjoy it. Maybe it’ll work for you, too.
One other suggestion I would make is to attend artistic events and get involved with these people. Theater, music, and visual arts–the people that are involved with these are often a little lonely and very empathetic with others who are also lonely. You don’t have to be an artist yourself; you can volunteer to be an usher for your local community theater, or there are other volunteer jobs that you can help with.
Finally, there is a probably a place in your city where the functioning mentally-ill live. I have a friend who lives in one of these places. She has an apartment with another woman, and all the residents in the building have a Site Manager who is there 24 hours a day to help the residents. They get their meds from a medical person, and have their activities organized by a staff person.
I visit my friend once a week and take her out to dinner. She is paranoid schizophrenic and clinically depressed and has been since we first met back when we were in college.
I usually sit around on the deck with her after dinner and chat while she enjoys a smoke. Lots of the other residents sit out there, too, and they love seeing people from the community, as they call it. They say hi and ask me how my foot is (I had surgery last year) and they’re often a whole lot nicer than some of the “normal” people.
If you can handle it, I would suggest getting involved with the people in the residence in your city. You should talk to the organization that runs the residence and make sure that they know and you know what you’re doing.
These people are so lonely. No one comes to see them. Their relatives would often rather forget that they are still alive, although some relatives show up a few times a year. Girl Scout troops don’t come to sing Christmas carols for these people.
My friend told me once that the major joy of their lives is smoking.
Every week she tells me that she is glad that I came and that she had a lot of fun. Some weeks when her meds aren’t right, she is rather “strange.” (Rambles in the conversation, isn’t sure what year it is and how old she is, afraid that everyone is out to get her, etc.). But when her meds are OK, she is very sweet.
If you could befriend someone in one of these residences, maybe take them to McDonalds or bring in a pizza, they would be so thrilled. And it would help you, too, although I will say that at times, it makes me sad.
One more thing–just a heads up. Our hospital will NOT allow anyone who is not immediate family, to visit the nursery, even to stand outside the window. The floor has limited access and a guard. Even other hospital staff members can’t go to Nursery or Pediatrics without clearance.
I think a lot of hospitals do this for the safety and privacy of the babies and their mommies.
Best wishes to you. I truly identify. You are not alone.
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