L
LuciaPacifici
Guest
Well it isn’t perfect. But while I go to work and do my job, and see my boyfriend and do ministry, and pray and go to mass, I feel like I’m just kind of doing it, rather than feeling like I’m living the ultimate call God has for me.
I don’t need it to be a glamorous calling, I just want to feel like “yes, this is what I’m supposed to be doing.” Sometimes that happens when I am creative, but work makes me too tired to do that much.
I also feel it strongly when I see mom’s with kids, but I’m not even married and I’m working on healing from my parents divorce to move on from my fear of marriage.
I just wish I could be saying yes, I feel I’m doing God’s vocation for me. Instead of “well this is eating my soul sometimes, but I’ll just offer it up.” I want my life to be more than just “well at least I have a job” or whatever.
I have discussed at length with more than one priest and with more than one community that I’m not called to religious life.
I’m entering a Third Order but a lot of the religious I know in the order don’t even like me and rejected me for spiritual direction. It is the one part of my life I feel yes, I’m called to, but people in it don’t even like me.
Well, I would really love some prayers.
I don’t need it to be a glamorous calling, I just want to feel like “yes, this is what I’m supposed to be doing.” Sometimes that happens when I am creative, but work makes me too tired to do that much.
I also feel it strongly when I see mom’s with kids, but I’m not even married and I’m working on healing from my parents divorce to move on from my fear of marriage.
I just wish I could be saying yes, I feel I’m doing God’s vocation for me. Instead of “well this is eating my soul sometimes, but I’ll just offer it up.” I want my life to be more than just “well at least I have a job” or whatever.
I have discussed at length with more than one priest and with more than one community that I’m not called to religious life.
I’m entering a Third Order but a lot of the religious I know in the order don’t even like me and rejected me for spiritual direction. It is the one part of my life I feel yes, I’m called to, but people in it don’t even like me.
Well, I would really love some prayers.

