I don't get this calling thing

[Blackbog]

In the next couple of years, after my student loans are paid off and I have saved up some money, it’s very likely that I’ll want to come to a decision whether I should get engaged or go to seminary. I could easily see myself doing both.

I honestly think I could pray about it all day and all night and never get any kind of divinely inspired inkling as to what I should do. Maybe it’s just the way I am… my head has always been two steps ahead of my heart.

On the one hand, I know that the Church needs priests. It needs people willing to give up their lives in service of Christ. I know Paul’s partial opinion about his vocation expressed in Corinthians. I know that Christ is the most important, period.

Then again, I know that the Church needs new Catholics and good Catholic parents to bring them into the world and raise them in the Faith.

I have heard some agree with Paul and other Church Fathers that a religious vocation is superior to the marriage vocation, and still others say that, no, they are actually equally worthy. And further, that one does not choose one’s calling; God does.

This makes no sense to me, because God is not sending me his opinion in my email inbox, nor do I hear his voice when I’m praying throughout the day or before the Tabernacle. (Not that I need to, my Faith is strong without blatantly hearing God’s voice.) And it stresses me because if I wait around for an explicit calling from God, I may end up doing nothing with my life. My girlfriend will get tired of waiting and find someone else to marry. I will grow too weak and senile to go through seminary. All because I couldn’t wrap my head around this thing people call a “calling.”

Does one have to be called to do something? I mean, I wake up every day and make decisions that affect my life in big ways and I don’t feel called to do them. I just make decisions about where I’d like to see myself or how best I can serve God. Can’t I do that with my vocation?

 

[Rachele_Ann]

I understand completely. In fact I could have written that post myself. I have always felt called in two directions. I don’t know how long you have been discerning, but if you are just starting… its a long road. Discernment is sort of the rest of your life. You say you are already able to make good decisions in other areas of your life which is wonderful, I had to work on that for several years.

My recommendation to you would be to seek out your diocesan vocation director, and get a spiritual director if you don’t already have one. I’ve been working through this for six years now and I depend on the sound advice of my spiritual director and his encouragement. The other thing to think of is that if you are supposed to get married there is a woman for you. If you are supposed to be a priest there is a diocese or order for you. In that way you can discern by exception a bit, for example a wonderful woman comes your way and you can’t think of anything other than marrying her… the priesthood is probably not for you.

Finally, I would avoid getting too excited about any one path. Just be open and go with the flow in regards to your spiritual life. At times I pray ardently for a husband, and I have prayed just as hard about a religious vocation. Its very easy to say at one time or another, “I love praying too much and its just not congruent with family life I should join the monastery”. Or to enjoy my family and the company of cousins or children and think that nothing in the world could compare to the happiness of family life. Allow yourself to think those things but don’t read into them too much.

It is worth remembering that a vocation is the means of fulfilling our deepest desires. Despite all the pros and cons your vocation is what will make you happiest on earth.

Peace In Him,
Rachele

 

[Andy_K]

You sound like me throughout the first 3/4 (and even a little beyond) my years in high school seminary.

I kept waiting for some sort of undeniable evidence that God was calling me to the priesthood - some sort of “little voice”, a visible sign - some sort of personal revelation that would leave no doubt as to my calling to the priesthood.

A calling transcends this. It calls for a personal evaluation of your talents/gifts and personal desires, a deep prayer life (precisely what I need to work on at the moment ), and a willingness to forego all pride as you discern. It is not something that is accomplished within a day.

Finally, I agree with Rachele Ann’s post about happiness in regards to your vocation. Although that word is tossed around quite a bit (perhaps “fulfillment” is the better word, which in retrospect is precisely what she originally stated, too), I firmly believe that to be true. It isn’t a guarantee of a life without suffering (au contraire, it could very well be the reverse), but fullfillment is assured.

 

[LaSalle]

It is not strange that you find it hard to decide whether to go into religious life or not, the discernment process is not easy and it WILL take months and years sometimes. A lot of people go into the seminary and leave after a few years of discernment (usually 2 years in Novitiate I believe).

If I’m not mistaken CA’s Tim Staples did this, as did the host Jerry Usher and former host Johnny Hohgraefe.

 

[Dave]

You mention that you don’t sense a definitive call, but I think just the fact that you’re thinking about priesthood is perhaps a very real sign.

I know you’re torn between religious life and married life, but I’m willing to bet that is a struggle that EVERY priest has gone through while discerning. For myself anyway, the biggest hurdle is coming to grips with not being able to raise my own family, however I know that the fruits of religious life will be every bit as fulfilling, and probably more so.

It’s just a matter of trusting God - and remember - seminary is a time of discernment, so entering doesn’t mean you’re automatically going to become a priest - that comes 6 or 7 years later, which is a pretty good chunk of time to discern.