I don't know how to handle these classes

[mackk]

So, If you have seen me on here before you know that I am attempting to convert. I say attempting because it isn’t going smoothly at all. I heard my proverbial knock at the door a couple weeks after classes had started. so I started attending mass and showing up to the RCIA classes . Where I am not managing to blend well at all. having been raised as a “pagan witch” (don’t read wiccan there please it’s not the same. i still worship god wiccans believe in duality meaning a god and a goddess and sometimes only a goddess.) . I am fundamentally different from the other rcia class ppl . I haven’t a clue how to relate to any of them and they obviously don’t find me palatable. When any of the staff or “students” speak to me they do it with that …well you know when some one stubs their toe and they are trying not to hollar at you so they are bearing their teeth in a grimace smile . that is the painful distant look that they wear when they speak to me.
I willingly admit I am different . I’m out spoken and more than a bit eccentric BUT i make a purposeful effort to censure every word that comes out of my mouth and to be honest short of total and complete silence …as it is I try not to speak unless i’m spoken too cuz they don’t seem to want to hear me talk.

I’m what five weeks into classes and I don’t have a sponsor. I don’t get invited to anything or ANYTHING . I’ve had to separate myself from my normal friends and they are all fairly understanding about the matter some of them have even offered to come to meetings with me … i said no cuz they wouldn’t be going to learn they would be going to "defend"me …

anyhow my interview finally happened I got a whole ten minutes with a deacon who seemed very cross because i wanted to talk about me and why i was there.
it’s getting pitiful … i have satanists and wiccans asking me if i’ll teach them to pray the rosary just so they will have an excuse to spend time with me and and Catholics who walk away from me in the middle of a sentence. SERIOUSLY the scene plays out …
me " hi, (insert name) hows your day…" i stop at that point cuz they have already left my immediate surroundings and i don’t feel i should be shouting after them.

I just don’t get it my whole life protestants ,Mormons, even Jews have courted me now i wanna be a catholic and they don’t seem to want me .
I cried to my one of my pagan friends over it and after she stopped screaming about them making me cry (i don’t cry really it seems kind of useless to me) her solution was “F** them come back to us they aren’t smart enough to love you then to h** with them” I told her i was serious and i wanted to be a catholic so she said “go to a different church ?” but i don’t know that i agree with just quitting them you know.

i’ll stop whining now.
//mackk

 

[sistermouse]

Talk to a priest. In some cases, they will do private lessons… Welcome aboard!! Things will work out, just pray!!
mouse

 

[Rachel_1]

mackk,
Welcome! I can assure you that not all Catholics are like this. I began my journey as a pagan/witch also but because of a nde when I had my heart attack I started searching for what I was supposed to believe. After some supernatural type events when I knew God was doing stuff in my life (and dreams where I was being told I was supposed to be Catholic) I like randomly showed up at my local parish and told them my story.
Everyone at my parish was nice to me regardless of my past. I did notice something though, that they didn’t really understand my old beliefs at all. So maybe that’s the issue with the parish you’re at, maybe they just don’t know how to take you?
Have you brought up your feelings to the RCIA director?
Don’t lose hope, there are a lot of Catholics out there that are willing to help you out!
Remember too, that you’re doing this for God, not people. God loves you.

 

[MarianD]

I’m so sorry for how these people are treating you. They are ignoring the most basic and important of Jesus’ commands: Love one another.

I’ll pray for you. I also think you should contact the priest to do private lessons OR find another parish (if this is possible). Most Catholics are definitely NOT like those you are having these experiences with. I don’t know what’s wrong with them, but they need prayers as well.

God bless you, and I hope you join the Church and enter a parish where people are kind to you like they’re supposed to be.

 

[m134e5]

Maybe you need to find another (Catholic) church. Sometimes, it’s just hard to find a group of people you fit in with. It took me a few years to find friends in the Church (and none of the people from my RCIA class are my friends). I would stay where you are until you finish RCIA, but go somewhere else eventually- to a place you feel more welcome.

 

[HAnne]

First off, I’ll be praying for you. This is awful but I know completely how you feel.

Secondly, is there another parish in your area you could “transfer” to for RCIA? Perhaps one that has had Pagans before and would be more open and accepting? I would call around to local parishes and see what can be done.

Pray the Rosary with your Pagan friends! There’s nothing wrong with that!!! Believe it or not, I actually learned how to pray the Rosary (properly, I might add) from a Pagan. He was fascinated with them and prayed one on a daily basis! He helped me learn how the first time I was looking at conversion!!!

Last, but certainly not least don’t let one batch of unsympathetic people with their lack of understanding discourage you from the faith. You are taking a HUGE step in your spiritual life and the LAST place you should be encountering discrimination is among the Catholics you are trying so hard to be accepted by.

 

[mackk]

I appreciate all of your kind words. I am not leaving my plans to convert BUT i am tempted to go find another church. only I am not sure that it is right to just go church shopping … perhaps i’m just being stubborn but i started with these ppl and i feel like i have to make it work.
There are SEVERAL alternatives in fact there is another parish just a couple miles in the other direction that has a more promising RCIA web page. it talks about planned outings and group functions … they seem like a nice idea but i couldn’t really afford them…

i mean i “chastised” another post here on this forum for advising that some one go shopping for a church that could meet their needs in a time table that pleased her.
I really don’t think that it is right to just go hopping around from parish to parish … but i don’t have a relationship with this church I haven’t been attending for a year or more , i’ve been there for 6 maybe 7 weeks … so …
i don’t know
see …
i feel if i start it i should finish it but i don’t know if i can keep up in a church where no one seems to want me .

i think i’ll just sleep on it and see if mass tomorrow seems better

thank you again

//mackk

 

[Drew0426]

Praying for you!

It’s always nice to see another person joining the faith

How do RCIA meetings go for you typically? It’s okay to ask questions, but try to avoid looking like you’re arguing with the leader of the meeting. Make sure that everybody knows you are giving up your old ways, and fully embracing Catholicism; that should shape them up. If anybody is condescending because of your past, then it’s their loss!

If you lose connections with old friends, then I’m sorry, but look on the bright side; you’re gaining some wonderful new friends. God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, Mary, the saints, the angels…

The situation will brighten up. Just be persistent in your efforts to learn!

 

[mackk]

Praying for you!

It’s always nice to see another person joining the faith

How do RCIA meetings go for you typically? It’s okay to ask questions, but try to avoid looking like you’re arguing with the leader of the meeting. Make sure that everybody knows you are giving up your old ways, and fully embracing Catholicism; that should shape them up. If anybody is condescending because of your past, then it’s their loss!

If you lose connections with old friends, then I’m sorry, but look on the bright side; you’re gaining some wonderful new friends. God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, Mary, the saints, the angels…

The situation will brighten up. Just be persistent in your efforts to learn!

i didn’t speak during class until this last one and only after three others offered their (name removed by moderator)ut. as i said i don’t really speak unless i’m spoken too.
and it is hard to let them know anything when they won’t talk to me.
as for my old friends i haven’t lost any of the ones that mattered they are mostly trying to help me… they worry about it… but they understand that while i’m learning this new way of living i can’t be tempted back into the old way of living .they are more supportive of my conversion than the Catholics are at my church.

 

[HAnne]

I appreciate all of your kind words. I am not leaving my plans to convert BUT i am tempted to go find another church. only I am not sure that it is right to just go church shopping … perhaps i’m just being stubborn but i started with these ppl and i feel like i have to make it work.
There are SEVERAL alternatives in fact there is another parish just a couple miles in the other direction that has a more promising RCIA web page. it talks about planned outings and group functions … they seem like a nice idea but i couldn’t really afford them…

i mean i “chastised” another post here on this forum for advising that some one go shopping for a church that could meet their needs in a time table that pleased her.
I really don’t think that it is right to just go hopping around from parish to parish … but i don’t have a relationship with this church I haven’t been attending for a year or more , i’ve been there for 6 maybe 7 weeks … so …
i don’t know
see …
i feel if i start it i should finish it but i don’t know if i can keep up in a church where no one seems to want me .

i think i’ll just sleep on it and see if mass tomorrow seems better

thank you again

//mackk

There is a HUGE difference between church shopping because you can’t make the time between bridge and canasta to attend Mass vs. being treated terribly by people in your RCIA class.

One question - how are you being treated in the Church overall? Are you being welcomed with open arms by the parishioners or are you being shunned by them as well? If you are being shunned, do you HONESTLY think they will stop shunning you once you have converted? Or will you always be “the one that used to be a pagan witch”?

Been there - done that. T-Shirt was burned in a firepit because I didn’t want to look at it any longer.

Try attending a Mass or two at another parish or two. Ask if the one with the great RCIA program has financial assistance for the “extras” for those in need. A few phone calls and a few extra runs to Mass never hurt anyone and it may give you a MUCH clearer picture of the overall. At the VERY least, if you don’t find acceptance after RCIA in your current parish and people aren’t helping you continue to grow, I’d HIGHLY suggest that you start looking around.

Don’t chain yourself to only one parish because “church shopping is bad”. Yes, we need to pick a parish and support it…but you weren’t even there for 3 months before you made that choice. KUDOS to you - The Church called and YOU LISTENED!!! (Would only more Christians follow that example!!!) That said, God didn’t send you to the Catholic Church as a penance to feel like a renegade outlaw. He sent you there to find HIM.

for you.

 

[faithfully]

Hi… WOW! Big change!!! Good for you, and welcome!!!

I don’t know anything about being a Pagan… however, you mention that you worship god wiccans? Not sure exactly what that means. But more importantly, Do you mean currently? Or in the past? I’m sure it’s hard to let go, but if you’re serious about your conversion AND you meant currently. You’ve got to let it all go. Is this challenging to you?

First of all, I personally don’t think there is ANYTHING wrong with finding a church that you resonate with. And if you’re serious about converting, if you can find a place that doesn’t make you feel unwanted that’s ideal. It’s more important that you move forward, than you try to stick in one place because you think you have to. I would imagine that some things will just be uncomfortable as they are terribly unfamiliar. The last thing you need is to feel as though people are judging you.

Honestly, however, they probably don’t understand you. And well, it’s entirely possible, for lack of a good comprehension they might even be a bit frightened. They may well equate pagan for Satanic. And if they are also converting, that might make for a very odd mix, and lots of discomfort all around. But, I would imagine that most in the class are converting too. I’m sure EVERYONE has lots of questions, and perhaps fear of the unknown.

I would contact the priest. It might well be worth talking directly to him instead of the deacon. And further, PLEASE investigate the other Catholic Churches. You might be able to “transfer” and not lose out on any time.

Best wishes, and please let us know how we may support you!

 

[mackk]

There is a HUGE difference between church shopping because you can’t make the time between bridge and canasta to attend Mass vs. being treated terribly by people in your RCIA class.

One question - how are you being treated in the Church overall? Are you being welcomed with open arms by the parishioners or are you being shunned by them as well? If you are being shunned, do you HONESTLY think they will stop shunning you once you have converted? Or will you always be “the one that used to be a pagan witch”?

Been there - done that. T-Shirt was burned in a firepit because I didn’t want to look at it any longer.

Try attending a Mass or two at another parish or two. Ask if the one with the great RCIA program has financial assistance for the “extras” for those in need. A few phone calls and a few extra runs to Mass never hurt anyone and it may give you a MUCH clearer picture of the overall. At the VERY least, if you don’t find acceptance after RCIA in your current parish and people aren’t helping you continue to grow, I’d HIGHLY suggest that you start looking around.

Don’t chain yourself to only one parish because “church shopping is bad”. Yes, we need to pick a parish and support it…but you weren’t even there for 3 months before you made that choice. KUDOS to you - The Church called and YOU LISTENED!!! (Would only more Christians follow that example!!!) That said, God didn’t send you to the Catholic Church as a penance to feel like a renegade outlaw. He sent you there to find HIM.

for you.

 

[JM3]

I appreciate all of your kind words. I am not leaving my plans to convert BUT i am tempted to go find another church. only I am not sure that it is right to just go church shopping … perhaps i’m just being stubborn but i started with these ppl and i feel like i have to make it work.
There are SEVERAL alternatives in fact there is another parish just a couple miles in the other direction that has a more promising RCIA web page. it talks about planned outings and group functions … they seem like a nice idea but i couldn’t really afford them…

i mean i “chastised” another post here on this forum for advising that some one go shopping for a church that could meet their needs in a time table that pleased her.
I really don’t think that it is right to just go hopping around from parish to parish … but i don’t have a relationship with this church I haven’t been attending for a year or more , i’ve been there for 6 maybe 7 weeks … so …
i don’t know
see …
i feel if i start it i should finish it but i don’t know if i can keep up in a church where no one seems to want me .

i think i’ll just sleep on it and see if mass tomorrow seems better

thank you again

//mackk

You need to persevere at this parish and RCIA class. You are being tested and must not fail.

Whenever you are ignored or insulted, or if you just feel it, then say, in a low voice, ‘God bless you’ and mean it with all the love in your heart for that person.

Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for the parish every day (with your friends, if you like).

Every night, before you sleep, pray the Act of Contrition and the Litany of the Holy Spirit.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something.

Always persevere. You may be the saint this parish has been waiting for.

 

[Earnest_Bunbury]

Pagan witch is as far from the truth as you can get without purposely working at untruth, which I will take for granted you haven’t done up to this point. This has made you admittedly different by your own admission but I would suggest that it has affected you in ways you have no idea about, spiritual ways that others may pickup on even without you confirming it by talking.

The “god” pagans worship is not the God of Divine Revelation and Truth. It is the basic tenant of the faith that God cannot abide with sin and untruth and it is our obligation to be as free from sin as we can, called the “state of grace” so that He can lead us to Himself, called heaven.

Jesus said “Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of Me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls”. Disavow paganism, disavow witchery, or expect good people to disavow these errors you seem to continue to profess, which may be evident to others.

 

[HCC]

I think you need to ask yourself what is drawing you to the Catholic Church? This “call” sounds very new and may take a while to test. As your background is far removed from Christianity, give yourself time to learn how to think as a Christian, pray as a Christian, love as a Christian. Belief in Christ is more than mere ideology and a commitment to being a Catholic is life long and should encompass every area of your life. When you are baptized the old you “dies” and you become a new person in Him.

Spend some time privately before the Blessed Sacrament and meditate on what is drawing you to the Church. Focus on those things.

I’m a cradle Catholic and about as clean cut as they come and other Catholics aren’t always “nice” to me. If I based my faith or reason for staying in the Church on whether or not people are always nice to me or “get” me, believe me, I would have left a very long time ago.

 

[MarianD]

Going to a parish where they actually listen to Jesus and “Love one another” is not church shopping. You definitely should look for other parishes, and don’t worry about being hypocritical if you’re doing that because a parish should be a place where friends of Jesus go and worship, and Jesus defined His friends as “Those who listen to my commands”.

Also, I think it’s ridiculous that they’re offering RCIA programs for a fee. RCIA should always be free. There should never be a cost for entering God’s Church. But if that program is better, then join it. Try to find another free program though. Either way, get out of where you are now. If you want to try it some more to see if the people warm up, then do it. But if they don’t warm up after a month or so, I’d definitely say switch parishes.

 

[mackk]

Going to a parish where they actually listen to Jesus and “Love one another” is not church shopping. You definitely should look for other parishes, and don’t worry about being hypocritical if you’re doing that because a parish should be a place where friends of Jesus go and worship, and Jesus defined His friends as “Those who listen to my commands”.

Also, I think it’s ridiculous that they’re offering RCIA programs for a fee. RCIA should always be free. There should never be a cost for entering God’s Church. But if that program is better, then join it. Try to find another free program though. Either way, get out of where you are now. If you want to try it some more to see if the people warm up, then do it. But if they don’t warm up after a month or so, I’d definitely say switch parishes.

Oh i’m sorry if i made it seem like the RCIA classes cost they don’t but outings end up costing money you know . gas to get to and from a drink to have in front of me while others are eating so i don’t make them uncomfortable… the extras are what cost…

//mackk

 

[mackk]

You need to persevere at this parish and RCIA class. You are being tested and must not fail.

Whenever you are ignored or insulted, or if you just feel it, then say, in a low voice, ‘God bless you’ and mean it with all the love in your heart for that person.

Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for the parish every day (with your friends, if you like).

Every night, before you sleep, pray the Act of Contrition and the Litany of the Holy Spirit.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something.

Always persevere. You may be the saint this parish has been waiting for.

i can’t ask questions of thin air …well i could but then they would hall me off to the psych ward.lol . I don’t want to be a saint i want to be a catholic. this isn’t a church social … i need these ppl to teach me how to behave and function as a catholic … and to be very honest if this is what it means god can knock on some one elses door.

Pagan witch is as far from the truth as you can get without purposely working at untruth, which I will take for granted you haven’t done up to this point. This has made you admittedly different by your own admission but I would suggest that it has affected you in ways you have no idea about, spiritual ways that others may pickup on even without you confirming it by talking.

The “god” pagans worship is not the God of Divine Revelation and Truth. It is the basic tenant of the faith that God cannot abide with sin and untruth and it is our obligation to be as free from sin as we can, called the “state of grace” so that He can lead us to Himself, called heaven.

Jesus said “Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of Me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls”. Disavow paganism, disavow witchery, or expect good people to disavow these errors you seem to continue to profess, which may be evident to others.

this is your response? d*m those dirty pagans ?
Try reading and charity you may find your self it a better state as well.

I think you need to ask yourself what is drawing you to the Catholic Church? This “call” sounds very new and may take a while to test. As your background is far removed from Christianity, give yourself time to learn how to think as a Christian, pray as a Christian, love as a Christian. Belief in Christ is more than mere ideology and a commitment to being a Catholic is life long and should encompass every area of your life. When you are baptized the old you “dies” and you become a new person in Him.

Spend some time privately before the Blessed Sacrament and meditate on what is drawing you to the Church. Focus on those things.

I’m a cradle Catholic and about as clean cut as they come and other Catholics aren’t always “nice” to me. If I based my faith or reason for staying in the Church on whether or not people are always nice to me or “get” me, believe me, I would have left a very long time ago.

It’s not about them being nice it’s about them being available … you were raised catholic so you had time to learn … without examples i won’t be able to learn

again thank you all for taking time to try to help me through this …

//mackk

 

[JM3]

i can’t ask questions of thin air …well i could but then they would hall me off to the psych ward.lol . I don’t want to be a saint i want to be a catholic. this isn’t a church social … i need these ppl to teach me how to behave and function as a catholic … and to be very honest if this is what it means god can knock on some one elses door.

1. You will not learn if you don’t ask questions.
2. To be Catholic is to become a saint. Why do you want to be Catholic?
3. I did ‘teach you how to behave and function as a catholic’.
4. The point of RCIA is to teach the basics of Catholicism and to discern whether a conversion has happened. Again, why do you want to be Catholic?

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Hi Mackk,

I’m really sorry you’re having a hard time. It’s difficult to understand why people are behaving in this way without actually being there so I’m only guessing that maybe they are intimidated by your past. Or maybe it’s just a personality clash. Talking to a priest could be helpful and it would maybe clarify what is going wrong.

In any case, please don’t give up and don’t let people put you off converting. I’ve spent several years in a parish without knowing anyone and it was tough. I felt very lonely and isolated. Things changed eventually. Think of RCIA as the first step. It has to be done and you will move on next year, meet new people, get involved with church activities if you so desire, etc.

As for learning how to be Catholic, I suggest you read about the faith, about the saints, devotions, history of the church, etc. I’m a convert too and what really helped me was the sacraments that led me to a deeper understanding of things and increased faith, which then translated into the way I live my everyday life. This probably sounds a bit vague but conversion is a long process and it might take several years to feel at home in the church. But it is so worth it.

God bless.