I don't know how to handle these classes

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I guess I don’t understand how this happened. I am on the RCIA team in my parish, and we never, in the actual classes themselves, make the candidates or catechumens tell their religious backgrounds to the class. Most mention it in their introductions on the first day of class, but they do not have to. I think the most I would say is that I am from a non-Christian background and leave it at that. The rest is none of their business, only for the priest, deacon, or RCIA director to know.

And the rest of the questions that we discuss usually center on the topic on hand and what the Catholic Church teaches about it. If the Deacon perceives any tension, he does his best to smooth it out and bring things back to topic, but that is very rarely that he has to do that, and he allows no critcism of people’s former churches to take place. We are not about that. We don’t have outings or social events, except for a brunch after Mass to welcome the candidates and catechumens the first week, and then we ask them, if they can, to participate in some service projects.

I have never heard of anything like this going on in RCIA. I think I’d find another class somewhere.
 
mackk said:
I don’t want to be a saint i want to be a catholic.
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Dear mackk,

I just want to make one thing clear, in becoming a Catholic, your sole job is to become a saint. That is your will be called to live a life of holiness and live out all that entails and with God’s help, reach Heaven. That IS your ultimate goal as a Catholic. It doesn’t mean you’ll be canonized, but who knows…

Read some of the lives of the 1st Century Christians who converted from Pagan religions. You might find a saint who you could call on, who will understand where you’re coming from and help you through this time.
 
Hi Mackk,

I resonated with the situation you describe very strongly. I have what many consider to be an unusual religious background and I went through an RCIA where I felt like I did not fit in at all. (There were other problems with it as well.) In hindsight, I think I would have been much better off with private instruction from a good priest. Don’t feel bad about seeking out the best environment for learning about your new faith. That is not church shopping in a bad way. If anything, you have a duty to do it. Feel free to pm me if you want a more personal discussion of this. I would be privileged to help you.
 
mackk said:
So, If you have seen me on here before you know that I am attempting to convert. I say attempting because it isn’t going smoothly at all.
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There is an FSSP Church is Tulsa. Try to contact them

fssp-tulsa.org/

Also for conversion I recommend you Huysmans En Route. He visited a Catholic Cathedral for years, just to talk to God.

Here is in electronic form free download

gutenberg.org/ebooks/24096

or you can by it from Amazon.com

amazon.com/En-Route-J–K-Huysmans/dp/1153780496/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1289164193&sr=8-1
 
One thing to keep in mind: if you do stay with this particular RCIA class and do convert, when you “graduate”, you’ll be able to leave your current awkward situation behind you. For better or worse, most of the parish is probably completely oblivious to what is going on in RCIA.

Unfortunately, the loneliness may continue to be a problem even after RCIA. I don’t think most parishes are very good at bringing new people into the Church or at getting most of the parishioners to do anything more than just show up on Sundays. Maybe you haven’t been invited to anything because there wasn’t anything to invite you to?

I don’t know why someone would walk away from you while you are in the middle of a friendly greeting, but we are a Church of flawed people. I have a suspicion that such a person has an argument with you, but does not want to say anything for fear of being offensive or otherwise out of line. Who knows whether they have anything to say that you should hear? Not me.

I hope you make it into the Catholic Church. If you were in the Chicago area, I’d volunteer to be your sponsor, but from one of your posts, it looks like you live in Oklahoma. I imagine that later on, the people running RCIA will ask someone to volunteer to be your sponsor. If you need someone to talk to now, they may not realize it yet.
 
This sounds so crazy … but i went to mass at another church. the one that i mentioned having such a great RCIA web page … they were all super nice and polite and it was very genuine … but it wasn’t mine. it was like driving in some one elses car.
The great parts were that I wasn’t nearly as lost during mass cuz the people around me were actually responding and not mumbling … watching them interact with each other was really nice they seemed like a big huge family, and they only collected once.
:confused:
somehow though i just didn’t even feel like i had been to mass. there wasn’t anything wrong with the homily or anything but…

I think i am going to try to pin down my priest and talk to him about it …

the other “students” have sponsors and come to classes talking about outings and things so i know they have them …​

I realize that you all of you ultimately hope to become a saint.
I just have to set smaller goals for myself. I’d be happy just to understand and be able to apply the teachings …
I’m doing alright with the theories really … i mean not AMAZING. i am new to it all you know.
it’s the actions that i’m having issues with. I NEED to be able to watch someone else taking the steps. I need to be able to hear and see them respond in mass.

my daughter and i were laughing today about how i need to put out a personals add . 😃

SWF seeks Good Catholic for educational purposes LOL​

BTW i still don’t really understand scapulars … i mean a priest blesses them and you just wear them? you pray on a rosary. you read the bible . those things you do something with. …

also why bless yourself with the holy water? it seems demanding and presumptuous to me … but maybe i don’t understand.

the whole idea of praying to God to ask for things for yourself is very foreign to me as well. in my old life it was utterly taboo to attempt to request things for yourself from the Divine.
in that life it is presumed that God gave you all that you needed to make your way. so asking for more was … illicit.
where as asking for more for some one elses life and benefit was noble.

it’s just that inside of me i fee all :extrahappy: to be converting
and outside of me everything else seems to be :hypno: to which i respond :bigyikes::banghead:

i’ll shut up now …
thank you to all of you for talking back to me. it made me feel a great deal better … much like the unpopular kid in the leper colony…

😊
 
mackk said:
BTW i still don’t really understand scapulars … i mean a priest blesses them and you just wear them? you pray on a rosary. you read the bible . those things you do something with. …

also why bless yourself with the holy water? it seems demanding and presumptuous to me … but maybe i don’t understand.

the whole idea of praying to God to ask for things for yourself is very foreign to me as well. in my old life it was utterly taboo to attempt to request things for yourself from the Divine.
in that life it is presumed that God gave you all that you needed to make your way. so asking for more was … illicit.
where as asking for more for some one elses life and benefit was noble.
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Scapulars developed as a micro-mini religious habit. Religious wear habits and take vows. Lay people would wear a scapular and make a commitment to a certain prayer or devotion. I think most scapulars still have prayers associated with them.

Blessing oneself with holy water is a sort of re-enactment of one’s baptism (or looking forward to it, in cases like yours). It reminds us that we belong to God.

Prayers are supposed to have, either explicitly or implicitly, an “if it is your will” clause tacked on. We are asking things from God for ourselves that He wants us to have. It is a form of cooperating with grace. This is an important concept in Catholic thought. Perhaps you recall the story of Zaccheus from a recent Sunday Gospel reading. Zaccheus had to climb a tree to put himself into position to receive the invitation to come to Jesus. Even though we are totally dependent on God, we still make the decision to “put ourselves into position.”
 
I think the simplest reason we ask God for the things we need is because He told us to. Jesus taught us the “Our Father” in which we ask for our daily bread, the necessities of life, and He also told us “Ask and you shall receive”. However, when we pray for something, it should always be if it is within God’s Will. We should always seek to submit to God’s Will.

Now, since God Himself told us to ask for what we need, it obviously is His will that we do so.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church covers prayer extensively and uses the Our Father as the model prayer. I think if you take the time to read the section on prayer, you will gain a greater understanding of it. It is well worth the time to do so.
 
I somewhat understand your struggle. I had a little rough time feeling like I belonged in my RCIA class as well but for different reasons.

It is very admirable that you are still going through with this regardless of your struggles. I know many people would have given up by now. I really admire you for your convictions!!

The Catholic faith can be a little daunting at first. I’ve been practicing for 3 yrs and offically in the church for over two. I’m still learning and I still get confused!!

I don’t think I can ever be a Saint, like those we learn about in Church that did all these great things like St. Faustina or St. Therese of Lisieux. I hope to be a saint someday, meaning I will be in heaven. That is what you can aspire to be. You are on the right path.

If you have any trouble you can PM me if you like. I have many books to recommend and I have recommended this about a dozen times on these forums but if you like podcasts

Dr. James Dobbins

has an apologetics class at his church every week and you can can access all of them for free on itunes or on the internet by googling his name. He explains it in ways you can understand and has helped me immensely in my journey.

Also read any book by Scott Hahn! He explains everything nicely too.

I hope you can find a place you feel comfortable soon! Best wishes.
 
Well tomorrow is RCIA class.
Today I spoke with one of the other participants and he says they are having a shortage of sponsors and that is why he thinks i haven’t got one. … … .
I told him how unwanted i felt and how i didn’t feel like i could get any answers off of anyone.
He has made some friends there so maybe it will make a difference.
I wanted to check out the FSSP but the priests are away until the twelfth …
patients is really not my strong suit. 😦
In the mean time thank you for answering my questions.
I prayed and prayed over it for weeks and I’ve come to the conclusion that they will have to just accept or not accept me in all my oddness. I want to be a catholic but I don’t want to pretend to be some one i am not .
not that any of you will be holding your breath but i will definitely let you know how it goes tomorrow night.
//mackk
 
mackk said:
I prayed and prayed over it for weeks and I’ve come to the conclusion that they will have to just accept or not accept me in all my oddness. I want to be a catholic but I don’t want to pretend to be some one i am not .
not that any of you will be holding your breath but i will definitely let you know how it goes tomorrow night.
//mackk
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You should not pretend to be someone you are not. And they SHOULD accept you for who you are. One parish does NOT represent the entire Catholic community. You are bound to run into people that you will never see eye to eye with, and others that you wish were in your class right now… Hang tight. Study, study, study… but just keep at it.

It’s really spendy, but I hear the Father Corapi’s DVD’s are excellent. That would likely answer lots of questions for you.

May I also recommend a book called. Why do Catholics do that Full of awesome little tidbits…
 
things were so much better tonight … 😃
YAY
it was relief I think saying something to that guy helped cuz all of the sudden most of the staf wasn’t just walking away from me when i spoke … and i felt allot better because i wasn’t walking on egg shells.
i cornered the director about a sponsor but she couldn’t give me a set answer … which is scary cuz Rite of acceptance is on the 21st . i’m starting to try to teach myself latin… i like it 😃
 
mackk said:
things were so much better tonight … 😃
YAY
it was relief I think saying something to that guy helped cuz all of the sudden most of the staf wasn’t just walking away from me when i spoke … and i felt allot better because i wasn’t walking on egg shells.
i cornered the director about a sponsor but she couldn’t give me a set answer … which is scary cuz Rite of acceptance is on the 21st . i’m starting to try to teach myself latin… i like it 😃
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Well I wasn’t quite holding my breath, but it is a relief to receive this report. 🙂
Please keep us updated and remember you can always ask questions here if you don’t get a chance to at class.
 
Welcome, mackk!

RCIA can be a daunting task, undoubtedly. I was never given the opportunity to complete my sacraments as a child (I was baptized only) . . . long and boring story there . . . but anyhow, I did attend RCIA in my very small parish with NO classes. I was given a bible, the cathechism, and a bunch of folders with worksheets. :eek: Imagine how lost I was!! But I had my priest available to call or email, my Catholic hubby and a number of friends to help me when I got confused. I went to Mass, didn’t know when to kneel or sit 😊 so I felt like the big dodo in the room! Eventually, I started to “get it.” Stick with it – you will too. I now am involved in my church to a level that most would consider excessive 😉 even fellow parishoners :rolleyes:

That all being said, I think there are some churches that make me feel comfortable, and some that do not 🤷 and I don’t know why. Some churches seem very big and cold and non-personal. I don’t attend those regularly. I started going to my church on a holiday and liked the people so much that I became a member. I think you will figure out where you belong, just like you figured out you want to convert to Catholicism. Sometimes the Lord’s voice is soft and you have to be very still and quiet to hear Him. Just trust that you will! I will pray for you and I wish you very good luck!

Peace,
Trinity
 
I’m also a convert from an unusual religious background and also I was from a different culture from everyone else in my RCIA class except the priest. So I never really felt like I fit in. However, I will say that everyone there was kind to me. Too bad I haven’t seen any of them at church since the Easter Vigil. 😦

Anyway, I’m glad it’s going better for you. May God bless you on this journey! Don’t expect it to be trial-free, but in the end it will be worth it. 😉
 
I have just read this thread and mackk, I want you to know that I will be praying for you.:gopray2: :gopray2:
Yes, I really am the Friendly Neighborhood Methodist. And this Methodist lady is so happy that you are turning to Our Lord, that I want to:bounce: dance, or:hug1: you, or something.
God bless you, my friend. What a:extrahappy: :extrahappy:wonderful thing to see someone come to Christ!!:extrahappy: :extrahappy:
 
So glad to hear that things are getting better Mackk. I was beginning to think the devil was giving you a hard time because of your conversion.

Oh, and I would recommend the FSSP parish, I go to one and it’s wonderful. God bless you.
 
Hi sweetie. Honey, in any church or social organization there are kind people and not so kind people. Be strong, don’t let the unkind diminish what you want for yourself. I have felt like that as well. Remember, we don’t need Jesus because we are all perfect examples of human beings, Jesus loved all, that is what Catholicism and Christianity in general is all about. Sometimes I have found depending on the area, some churches may have different types of people because of where they are located. Stay strong, how they are acting isn’t indicative of the Catholic faith, it reflects on their own prejudices and hold ups, and that in no way reflects on you. I hope this helped, and welcome 🙂
 
Greetings macck,

I just wanted to let you know you are in my prayers and offer you some encouragement to hang in there. The Lord will guide you into all truth if you cooperate with the Graces He is giving you, and He already has granted you many by bringing you this far.

Keep in mind that we are all sinners and we all need the Lord’s forgiveness just as much as you or anyone else. We all sin and fall short, and of course personality differences can play a factor as well.

If you have any questions about anything faith related feel free to fire them away to us. We are all here to help and if we don’t have the answer we’ll help you find it or send you to a good source who does.

Never be afraid to seek out your Parish Priest to speak with either, but you may need to make an appointment to see him as I am sure he is a busy man. He is your pastor and is there to serve God and serve his parishioners.

Also don’t be afraid to go to another Catholic Parish if you feel like God is drawing you there. Always seek Him to guide you where you need to be. He will lead you to the right place.

Welcome Home! and keep us updated when you can 🙂
your testimony I’m sure will be encouraging to many.
 
To the OP, I know that RCIA is can be tough at times (I’m going through it now as well!) but I think your problem may be what mine was. I didn’t get a sponsor until last week. However, after speaking with the staff, this was because they were really putting a lot of time into trying to find someone who I could connect with and be open with. They did a great job! So I’m very glad you talked to them about it.

Also, I COMPLETELY share your frustration in trying to watch and learn all the customs and responses while at Mass. Each time I’m at Mass and start feeling frustrated, I just try to sit back and soak it in and just realize that I’m in the presence of something incredible and special, and eventually I will “get it”. I wish you luck in this journey, please PM me if you need another RCIA person to vent to and ask questions!
 
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