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OneMoreLife
Guest
I don’t know how to make peace with my siblings who are battling health issues. This is breaking my heart. I am guilty of saying terrible things out of anger. It’s been years…
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Anglewannabe
Guest
The only reason I know you are not my brother is because I am not battling health issues. He has been guilty of saying horrid things out of anger and I cut him out of my life years ago. And I will tell you why I haven’t accepted any of his attempts of reconciliation and what he (or possibly you) could do to change my mind
1-) Learned to control your anger and get over whatever it is that makes you so angry (I am not an advocate of therapy but if you can find some good ones, go for it)
2-) Turn your life over to God. I would have a lot more trust in my brother if he was letting Jesus drive the boat
3-) If you said those things in front of a third party, make sure the third party sees the apology. My father is dead and now the option for my brother apologizing for the bad things he said to me in front of him no longer exist. My brother no longer has the option of apologizing in front of my dad. His job to reconcile has just become bigger.
Hopefully I have given you some insight into how your siblings are thinking
Angie
1-) Learned to control your anger and get over whatever it is that makes you so angry (I am not an advocate of therapy but if you can find some good ones, go for it)
2-) Turn your life over to God. I would have a lot more trust in my brother if he was letting Jesus drive the boat
3-) If you said those things in front of a third party, make sure the third party sees the apology. My father is dead and now the option for my brother apologizing for the bad things he said to me in front of him no longer exist. My brother no longer has the option of apologizing in front of my dad. His job to reconcile has just become bigger.
Hopefully I have given you some insight into how your siblings are thinking
Angie
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OneMoreLife
Guest
Thank you for this reply. I have a lot of work ahead of me. I am not going to try to rationalize away my guilt in saying “well they did this or that.” I’m not saying you inferred that in your reply to me. I’m just trying to look at my life in light of the “examination of conscience” that is prayed during Good Friday.
Also, the Penitential Act is an eye opener for me: “I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done and in what I have failed to do,
through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault;”
I don’t know if the day will ever come for me to totally fix what I have done. One of my siblings did say “all is forgiven” via an email…
Like I said, my siblings are battling health issues… and I am a Holy Person as I once thought. It’s not easy trying to live a Holy Life. I can think about it all I want, but until I Holy Living into action I am only day dreaming.
Attempting to right the wrongs I have done is one aspect of a Godly life.
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As_for_my_House
Guest
What does make peace mean to you? Do you want to here the words “I forgive you” from your siblings? or do you want to have a relationship with them again?
It sounds like they are willing to forgive as one of your siblings has said in a message, but that is different from reconciliation. Reconciliation requires honest communication and the rebuilding of trust. This is hard work on both of your parts. Your siblings may not be up to that kind of hard work, given their health issues.
My father and I are estranged. I think he is sorry for what he did to our family and wants to have a relationship but he can’t or won’t stop his immoral ways. He has tried to get me to accept his life style. At times, I see he still uses people to achieve his own comfort and happiness. This causes me to keep my distance even though I do forgive him and feel very sorry that we are not close.
My father tries to build a relationship…cards, phone calls. gifts, visits but he always blows it with his sarcastic remarks and blatant disrespect for me and my boundaries. I guess what I am trying to say that you can’t force a relationship on your own terms. You can make gestures and see if they are accepted. You can also apologize more than once without excuses or expectations.
I hope that this helps.
It sounds like they are willing to forgive as one of your siblings has said in a message, but that is different from reconciliation. Reconciliation requires honest communication and the rebuilding of trust. This is hard work on both of your parts. Your siblings may not be up to that kind of hard work, given their health issues.
My father and I are estranged. I think he is sorry for what he did to our family and wants to have a relationship but he can’t or won’t stop his immoral ways. He has tried to get me to accept his life style. At times, I see he still uses people to achieve his own comfort and happiness. This causes me to keep my distance even though I do forgive him and feel very sorry that we are not close.
My father tries to build a relationship…cards, phone calls. gifts, visits but he always blows it with his sarcastic remarks and blatant disrespect for me and my boundaries. I guess what I am trying to say that you can’t force a relationship on your own terms. You can make gestures and see if they are accepted. You can also apologize more than once without excuses or expectations.
I hope that this helps.
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OneMoreLife
Guest
Thanks. Good post. I know that one family probably does NOT forgive me. I am not sure about the other. Trust has been broken. Hurtful words have been said. It’s amazing the number of burned bridges there are in my life.
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tawny
Guest
Praying for you to have family harmony.
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PassingSoul
Guest
You might consider to send them a " Pay it Forward " card with an attached note of sorrow. You might also send along a small meaningful gift.
payitforwardday.com/
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Catholic1954
Guest
Take a deep breath. Pick up the phone. Dial the number. Ask to speak to your sibling. When they come on the line, say, “Hi. It’s me. I hear you are having health issues and I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am.” Depending on the response, you will know what to do or say from there. The hardest part will be waiting for someone to answer the phone. It will be ok. 
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AClaire11
Guest
My husband and I are estranged from his sister. If she wanted to reconcile, I’d expect a genuine apology listing the ways she hurt us and expressing true remorse over each one and then, going forward, showing a real change in her behavior towards us. So a good start would be to write a letter to your siblings showing that you understand your words and behavior were wrong and hurtful and that you are committed to changing and hope they will give you the chance to repair the relationship. If you have airway done this, the ball is in their court. Continue to pray and work on improving yourself.
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fencersmother
Guest
AClaire, so many people who deeply hurt others, don’t even realize they’ve done hurt, or how badly they have hurt.
My sister, who I can not allow into my life, would say she never did a thing to me. And yet the hurt is very very deep. She might not even allow that she did anything, and if she did, why was I so hurt?
Relationships are hard sometimes. Especially sibling relationships. I have had six major surgeries in 15 months and my sister never bothered a call nor a text even. Does she care? Not likely.
Forgiveness can be so hard - but we are all called to it - how can we ask forgiveness when we can’t or won’t forgive?
May God soften all our hearts and heal us through Christ.
My sister, who I can not allow into my life, would say she never did a thing to me. And yet the hurt is very very deep. She might not even allow that she did anything, and if she did, why was I so hurt?
Relationships are hard sometimes. Especially sibling relationships. I have had six major surgeries in 15 months and my sister never bothered a call nor a text even. Does she care? Not likely.
Forgiveness can be so hard - but we are all called to it - how can we ask forgiveness when we can’t or won’t forgive?
May God soften all our hearts and heal us through Christ.
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OneMoreLife
Guest
Today I talked to my brother who is not in good health. Please pray for him. He told he all was already forgive and he asked forgiveness for his wrong doing. I told him I was not concerned about his wrong doing but about mine. It went well. I told him I was there for him if he needed my help getting around since he can’t drive anymore.
I just realized something while reading Catholic’s responses in this thread. I THINK Protestants (at least the one’s I knew years ago), would have been posting scriptures ect… in relation to this subject. I noticed everyone here is real about their feelings. I appreciate that.
I’m very sorry. That’s painful.
I just realized something while reading Catholic’s responses in this thread. I THINK Protestants (at least the one’s I knew years ago), would have been posting scriptures ect… in relation to this subject. I noticed everyone here is real about their feelings. I appreciate that.
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Anglewannabe
Guest
If his siblings are anything like me, this would just infuriate them more. It would com across as a trick
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AClaire11
Guest
I’m so happy that conversation went well! I pray the others will, too.
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Irishmom2
Guest
I am so happy to hear this. And to think, you would not have known this had you not reached out to him! Thanks be to God for your connection.
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OneMoreLife
Guest
I just got back from bringing my sibling food. He’s not feeling well at all.
It’ going to take a long time in prayer and humility to start repairing damage with other siblings…
It’ going to take a long time in prayer and humility to start repairing damage with other siblings…
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oldgraymare2
Guest
Hi One More Life,
I’m happy to see that you and your brother are back in touch in again.
I hope and pray for you that you can get back in touch with your other siblings, as well.
May God bless you and your siblings.
I’m happy to see that you and your brother are back in touch in again.
I hope and pray for you that you can get back in touch with your other siblings, as well.
May God bless you and your siblings.
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Irishmom2
Guest
One step at a time. Perhaps when they see that you and your sibling have been working on your relationship, they will have their hearts softened. Keep praying, and don’t lose hope.
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As_for_my_House
Guest
Yes this.
And I am very glad that your sibling has accepted your apology and offer to help. I hope that each future gesture will be graciously accepted and foster the rebuilding of you and your siblings relationship.
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