I don't know what to do

[hadassahjones]

I spoke with my priest this morning before Mass and we decided that I should bring my boyfriend after the Wed. night RCIA meeting so the three of us could talk. Well, when I told my bf, he got upset, and asked why I was trying to “con” him into meeting my priest. I told him we would talk about it later and left.

I don’t understand, and I don’t know what I should do. I came straight home and prayed the Rosary, then prayed for God to help me and my bf. Despite the fact that he has not gone to Church for several years, he has always seemed very supportive of the Catholic faith, and very supportive of my conversion. Suddenly, though, he is showing that he wants no part of it himself. I am fasting and praying for the rest of the day until he comes home tonight in hopes that God will intercede and change his mind and make him open to this. The priest wants to speak with him about our living situation, the fact that my bf has been out of church for so long, and the possibility of our marrying. I’m not trying to con anything, the priest asked me first, and has several times, to bring my bf to meet with him. I want this too, and I understand why the priest would want to speak with my bf as well, seeing as how he is a very important part of my life, and possibly a future husband for me. I thought this would all be so simple, and now it is terribly difficult, and I don’t know how to approach him tonight. Please, any advice would be helpful.

 

[skeyes]

Tell you bf that you are moving out until he is ready to make a commitment to marriage. This "living arrangement’ is unholy and will cause you untold amount of grief. Do you really want to marry a man who would live with you before marriage? Move out and then decide whether he is worth the effort, if so, then wait until he propses, then set a date. After the wedding, then you can move back in.
In His service,
Stan

 

[TLM08]

I spoke with my priest this morning before Mass and we decided that I should bring my boyfriend after the Wed. night RCIA meeting so the three of us could talk. Well, when I told my bf, he got upset, and asked why I was trying to “con” him into meeting my priest. I told him we would talk about it later and left.

I don’t understand, and I don’t know what I should do. I came straight home and prayed the Rosary, then prayed for God to help me and my bf. Despite the fact that he has not gone to Church for several years, he has always seemed very supportive of the Catholic faith, and very supportive of my conversion. Suddenly, though, he is showing that he wants no part of it himself. I am fasting and praying for the rest of the day until he comes home tonight in hopes that God will intercede and change his mind and make him open to this. The priest wants to speak with him about our living situation, the fact that my bf has been out of church for so long, and the possibility of our marrying. I’m not trying to con anything, the priest asked me first, and has several times, to bring my bf to meet with him. I want this too, and I understand why the priest would want to speak with my bf as well, seeing as how he is a very important part of my life, and possibly a future husband for me. I thought this would all be so simple, and now it is terribly difficult, and I don’t know how to approach him tonight. Please, any advice would be helpful.

You may have to make a decision between your boyfriend and being a fervent follower of the catholic faith. Living even a semi-devout life will not be easy if your marriage isn’t built around the faith.

The best approach is to back off on the issue for now and let him know that you might have to make a decision regarding the future of your relationship.

If you are having sex with him, you don’t need anyone to remind you that there is a moral issue as well. If you were my daughter, I’d tell you to dump the guy and find someone who takes their catholic faith as seriously as you do.

The man you marry will have a dramatic impact on your faith and the faith of any children you will have down the road.

 

[redrosetea]

You may have to make a decision between your boyfriend and being a fervent follower of the catholic faith. Living even a semi-devout life will not be easy if your marriage isn’t built around the faith.

The best approach is to back off on the issue for now and let him know that you might have to make a decision regarding the future of your relationship.

If you are having sex with him, you don’t need anyone to remind you that there is a moral issue as well. If you were my daughter, I’d tell you to dump the guy and find someone who takes their catholic faith as seriously as you do.

The man you marry will have a dramatic impact on your faith and the faith of any children you will have down the road.

I totally agree God bless

 

[nablaise]

I spoke with my priest this morning before Mass and we decided that I should bring my boyfriend after the Wed. night RCIA meeting so the three of us could talk. Well, when I told my bf, he got upset, and asked why I was trying to “con” him into meeting my priest. I told him we would talk about it later and left.

I don’t understand, and I don’t know what I should do. I came straight home and prayed the Rosary, then prayed for God to help me and my bf. Despite the fact that he has not gone to Church for several years, he has always seemed very supportive of the Catholic faith, and very supportive of my conversion. Suddenly, though, he is showing that he wants no part of it himself. I am fasting and praying for the rest of the day until he comes home tonight in hopes that God will intercede and change his mind and make him open to this. The priest wants to speak with him about our living situation, the fact that my bf has been out of church for so long, and the possibility of our marrying. I’m not trying to con anything, the priest asked me first, and has several times, to bring my bf to meet with him. I want this too, and I understand why the priest would want to speak with my bf as well, seeing as how he is a very important part of my life, and possibly a future husband for me. I thought this would all be so simple, and now it is terribly difficult, and I don’t know how to approach him tonight. Please, any advice would be helpful.

You probably know him and love him. And some of the advice above may seem so out of touch for you case. You probably can’t stand the idea of estranging him suddenly by giving him a kind of ultimatum to convert or loose you while God seem to have been patient with you. But the advice above do have a good point:

Our Faith is in a God who is almighty and who is love. He does not want to brake anything which is true in your love. So you can trust him and offer him your situation. Then you can find a kind way of explaining to him that it is easy for you to live separately why you both pray to know if you are called to be married or not. God will be gentle on your heart. But you have to take him seriously. It is a great thing that your bf is at least catholic. He can understand it. Just don’t ‘dump’ him. ‘Separate’ with him and pray God to show your heart what your destiny is with him.

God bless

 

[1ke]

You can only control what you do.

Your boyfriend and you are growing in different ways. It is sad and it hurts, but if it continues down this path then you should be glad it all happened BEFORE you married this person. Move on and find someone with whom you can share your faith.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

Years ago a Jewish friend became Catholic. His Catholic wife admitted that she felt some resistance to his conversion. As she studied it she found that she had felt a superiority to him because she was Catholic and he was not. She was feeling the loss of that superiority.

It wasn’t anything serious or intentional or wrong. She hadn’t even recognized the feeling previously. However, it is something to keep in mind when a spouse converts. It changes the dynamics of the relationship a bit.

 

[hadassahjones]

I talked to him last night and he said that while he has no problem going to Church, he simply doesn’t feel it necessary to sit down and have a meeting with a priest. He feels pushed.

I told him that it is fine. I went over with him myself what my priest wanted to speak with him about. He said that he is glad for and supportive of my conversion, that he is perfectly willing to become chaste with me until we are married.

He was not receptive to the idea of getting married now, for which I was disappointed, because I don’t really want to alter our situation and getting married would allow us to eliminate the sin aspect of what we are doing. I love him, and want to marry him, but he doesn’t feel it is the right time.

I did tell him that I would like him to start attending church with me whenever he feels ready.

I will drop the marriage subject, pray for him to be able to discern when it is the right time, and continue showing him what a good and faithful woman I can be to him.

 

[dianaballein]

You can only control what you do.

Your boyfriend and you are growing in different ways. It is sad and it hurts, but if it continues down this path then you should be glad it all happened BEFORE you married this person. Move on and find someone with whom you can share your faith.

I agree. I am in the middle of my conversion now and my spouse is treating it like a mid-life crisis. It is putting a terrible strain on us.