I dont know what to do

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Purplemango

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I dont know what to do.
I just dont know what to do. Its been so long since I felt God’s presence and I seem to be falling farther and farther apart from him due to my own stupid sinful nature. Like ever since I truly decided to become a Catholic, I just seem to backtrack and mess up. Its been about a year now and I feel like spiritually I have gotten anywhere. This year I was even planning to consecrate to Mother Mary, but on the 5th day i just went back to porn. Ever since I was a kid I always prayed for a true friend, and I still haven’t truly gotten one, and now that I cant feel god either because of my stupidity, loneliness is just consuming me… I’m a mediocre actor, singer, overweight, ugly, and have really bad grades.I have extreme trouble praying recently as I don’t know why, but it’s just so hard for me to get the words outta my mouth. I also have a dick that is only 4 and half inches which is smaller than the average dick size, so I guess I feel sexually incompetent as well. I feel like I have no future in anything and that I will just continue to disgrace God instead of glorifying him. I don/t feel like I’m meant for any vocation either as I feel as if I’ll fail as a priest, husband, and/or mentor. I’m starting to get suicidal thoughts once more that I thought I got over when I was a kid, and the way I see it, I’m going to hell whichever way I may die. Also, this is lame but all the girls I ever have fallen for seem to only view me as a simple acquaintance. I’m probably never gonna see any of them after I graduate high school. If I could I would go to confession every day, but I’m lucky if I can even go once in 2 months. I just don’t know how to conquer my sin as I feel that I win my battles in this war, eventually I will lose again and end up right back where I began in this race and not be any more closer to god as I thought i was. So yep, I just don’t see any hope for me and I just don’t know what to do anymore. Lol any advice?🤷
 
You are having a difficult time. I know lots of people that have felt the same as you do. I had some difficult times also. I am much older now, but when I was your age I also thought that I could not overcome some issues. I suggest a few things. First, and most important, no matter what happens, continue to love, pray, and ask God for both strength and forgiveness. He is a forgiving and ever loving God. He will NEVER abandon YOU. We tend to push Him away, but He is always there for you. Man is a sinful creature he must fight weaknesses and temptation his whole life. Even Saints had temptations and sinned, they were not perfect, but they never gave up, and eventually, they became closer to God.
There are fantastic books and cd’s at religious book stores that will give you strength and hope. You will enjoy them and they will help you, help yourself. Join a church youth group, they will show you love and kindness that you may not find elsewhere, and you will also have a good time. Self image is important to high school aged males. Exercise, I suggest
daily long walks, makes you feel good, and you may meet some other walkers. Do not hesitate to ask for help, I know its hard to do, BUT, WOW what a relief it will be for you.
Someone at home, Priest, teacher, even a doctor. You can do it, I know you can. Things
ALWAYS get better. I also bet your not ugly either. Buy new clothes, change your hair
style, look up and smile, be the best you can be. Try a little harder in school, ask for extra
help to improve your grades, you can do it. You are not alone, their are hundreds of thousands of people that feel just like you, so don’t feel so bad. I will pray for you and think of you, God is your best friend for life, He cares about you and will give you the power
to overcome how you feel now. Get on your knees, ask for help everyday and remember
that God made you, loves you, and wants you to be happy. Life does not have to be perfect to be great. Now go for it and NEVER GIVE UP.
 
I had trouble with pornography in the past so I know what it is like. The most important thing to do when tempted is to pray. Prayer will make the temptation a lot easier and thus you will “easily” (sort of) defeat it. However here is the catch, you will in times of temptation not want to pray because you will not want the temptation to go away, you will have a desire to fall. It sounds insane but that is the nature of an addiction, insanity.

When in times of temptation pray a Hail Mary, before you finish the pray you will notice the weight of the temptation becoming lighter. You will feel however that you are missing out by not engaging in immortality, which will be hard for you since nothing else seems to be bringing you happiness in this life. You must therefore offer up this suffering, which goes to Mary since you are consecrated to her. This will give you even more graces to fight the addiction.

A couple more things to keep in mind:
  1. God mercy is infinite. Confession absolves you from your sins, but trust in God’s mercy even when you are in a state of mortal sin. You can still get to Heaven if you have perfect contrition. However you must get to Confession as fast as you are able.
  2. Conditions for Perfect Contrition: Being sorry for your sins based on charity; or supernatural love of God, resolving never to sin again (just like we do at every Confession), and to seek out Confession as soon as possible.
  3. Unwanted thoughts are never sin.
I have had a pornography addiction for 6 years which ended 1 year and half ago. Lots of Confessions, Rosaries, Divine Mercy Chaplets, and other prayers were said to end the addiction. I will pray for you, God Bless.
 
OK. Never give up and Listen closely because I’m going to tell you a parable:

I know a doctor who treats children for phobias. Many of these kids have over 30 phobias and are overwhelmed by it all. They feel lost, frozen, stuck. He treats them for anxiety, does some behavioral therapy on one of the phobias and POOF!- all of the phobias are cured. Because THEY ALL STEM FROM THE SAME PROBLEM! Read this last sentence out loud to yourself.

The story for you is that the years of porn addiction affect all of those other problems you mentioned, right down to how women relate to you. Get help for this addiction. There are 12 step groups Porn Addicts Anonymous… Group support works for many people so they don’t isolate with their problem, they can see they are not alone, and they have available support at almost all hours. If you can find a therapist that specializes in the porn addiction problem, all the better.

There may be other problems underlying this problem (I am a Catholic, yes, and agree that you need to see this as a spiritual problem: find a good spiritual director to help you here, go to confession, attend rosaries, pray) and if you get good psychological help/treatment you will have a better chance at healing. We forget to treat our mental and emotional health as well as we would treat a physical illness like the flu.

A 12 step program will address the other issues you mentioned. You would be surprised how many people seek help for this problem and find out how many other areas of their lives are affected by this problem. Good luck. You are in other people’s prayers. Go get help and find your local 12 step.

PS: Take care of these problems when you are young; all of the rest: the friendships, the girls, the acting, singing, and other talents will also improve when you get out of this darkness. Hang on and have faith.
 
Purplemango said:
I dont know what to do.
I just dont know what to do. Its been so long since I felt God’s presence and I seem to be falling farther and farther apart from him due to my own stupid sinful nature. Like ever since I truly decided to become a Catholic, I just seem to backtrack and mess up. Its been about a year now and I feel like spiritually I have gotten anywhere. This year I was even planning to consecrate to Mother Mary, but on the 5th day i just went back to porn. Ever since I was a kid I always prayed for a true friend, and I still haven’t truly gotten one, and now that I cant feel god either because of my stupidity, loneliness is just consuming me… I’m a mediocre actor, singer, overweight, ugly, and have really bad grades.I have extreme trouble praying recently as I don’t know why, but it’s just so hard for me to get the words outta my mouth. I also have a dick that is only 4 and half inches which is smaller than the average dick size, so I guess I feel sexually incompetent as well. I feel like I have no future in anything and that I will just continue to disgrace God instead of glorifying him. I don/t feel like I’m meant for any vocation either as I feel as if I’ll fail as a priest, husband, and/or mentor. I’m starting to get suicidal thoughts once more that I thought I got over when I was a kid, and the way I see it, I’m going to hell whichever way I may die. Also, this is lame but all the girls I ever have fallen for seem to only view me as a simple acquaintance. I’m probably never gonna see any of them after I graduate high school. If I could I would go to confession every day, but I’m lucky if I can even go once in 2 months. I just don’t know how to conquer my sin as I feel that I win my battles in this war, eventually I will lose again and end up right back where I began in this race and not be any more closer to god as I thought i was. So yep, I just don’t see any hope for me and I just don’t know what to do anymore. Lol any advice?🤷
Click to expand...
google Nicholas Vujicic…then get back to me…by the way…everything else that my comrades share under this …ditto…Pray…frequent reception of the Sacraments…
 
Lol thank you so much everyone for the kind words, this seriously cheered me up haha
 
Dear friend,in addition to everything that has been said,read the word daily and you will surely get relief and consolation as you see what a loving and forgiving God we serve.You will see how lovingly He calls us to His mercy and how eager He is to reward us.You can start by just reading familliar stories and pray and ask for His Counsel.Will be praying earnestly for you.***pls note;Suicide will move you from a state of temporal suffering to one of eternal suffering.***The distance between you and the Lord is the distance between your knees and the ground and the words…“I am sorry…”
 
Porn is the plague of our generation. I don’t know any men except those in the monastery who are free from it’s curse. I think my confessor is, but access to the internet has it’s perils. It’s something that I fight with, complete with advances and retreats. The ONLY things that I have found that help me in the struggle are public use of computers, having an accountability partner and CONFESSION. The triumph and the sorrow of meeting my confessor once a week has done wonders for my purity. But it has to be consistent. I find that missing a week’s mass and confession is the surest way to fall back into bad habits.
 
Try again to consecrate this year to Mary. If you slip and fall, just get up and start again. Or pick up where you left off. We all have our falls at times. And we will as long as we are on this earth. My prayers go out for you, be strong in the faith and know that God loves you. :knight2:
 
I recommend you read this ~ ccel.org/ccel/lawrence/practice
You can read the whole thing in under 2 hours, I did and it was eye opening. As for the sin stuff, perhaps try weekly Confession to get it out. Confession provides us with the grace to overcome the sins we confess, though we must have the desire to repent though.
I would still encourage you to do the Marian consecration and try and stick to the program without stopping. Also praying a daily Rosary or Divine Mercy chaplet might be helpful for you also 🙂
Also there are several sites you can go to for help check out here~ google.com/search?q=catholic+pornography+help+online&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

I’ll keep you in my prayers,

God bless you +++
 
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