I don't know where else to turn

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zxc

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My life is a mess…

I’ve lost all my friends, I feel so lonely, I am so depressed, I don’t even know what love is anymore. Everything justs gets worse as the days go on by.

I feel like I don’t belong here anymore, there’s just no point in it all. Please don’t tell me to seek pro. help, because I won’t. Jesus did not tell the blind man on the street to go to an optician or the leaper to a doctor where they would be healed, no he healed them himself with his bare hands.

God is far gone. He has left me alone to wither away. When I call out to him, things worsen. When I cry to him, things worsen. The same goes for Mary.

I’m exhausted with it all, but there is no rest, there is no hope that it will all get better.
 
zxc I had a similar problem a few years ago. You are in my prayers.

Jesus never sent them to a doctor or an optician because there was no understanding in those days of those conditions. Now we do, so there is professional help available if you need it.

If you need to talk you can feel free to send me a pm any time.

Take care and God bless

Peter
 
God has not abandoned you. He sends gifted people to help us when we have medical and other problems, and gifted priests and religious to help us when we have spiritual problems. It is up to us to seek that help. The blind man called out to Jesus in faith. All that remains is for you to call out to Jesus in faith. He is right next to you in your suffering, hanging on the cross, carrying your burden with you. Turn to him.
 
Our Lord has not abandoned you. Please have courage. I too, have been through some very rough periods in my life… where I felt isolated and alone. I am still dealing with the issue of abandonment (my entire family, has abandoned me… with the care of our elderly mother). But I know now… that I am not alone. Nor are you.:hug1:

Please find a time, during your week… to go and sit in the Presence of the Blessed Sacrament. Put yourself in the Presence of Jesus… our Loving and Merciful Lord. He will help you. He knows your suffering… and He cares. Whatever you are suffering now… He has been there. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless.
 
MarieVeronica said:
Our Lord has not abandoned you. Please have courage. I too, have been through some very rough periods in my life… where I felt isolated and alone. I am still dealing with the issue of abandonment (my entire family, has abandoned me… with the care of our elderly mother). But I know now… that I am not alone. Nor are you.:hug1:

Please find a time, during your week… to go and sit in the Presence of the Blessed Sacrament. Put yourself in the Presence of Jesus… our Loving and Merciful Lord. He will help you. He knows your suffering… and He cares. Whatever you are suffering now… He has been there. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless.
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I just had a conversation with one of my customers about the same problem you have with you being the only one to take care of your mother, she is in the same boat as you are! I am sort of, though my mom is still living alone, she does not drive, so I am in charge of getting her groceries and meds and bringing her to the doctor hair cuts etc. I am praying for you and know that you will receive MANY graces for what you do for your mom. God BLess.👍
 
puzzleannie said:
God has not abandoned you. He sends gifted people to help us when we have medical and other problems, and gifted priests and religious to help us when we have spiritual problems. It is up to us to seek that help. The blind man called out to Jesus in faith. All that remains is for you to call out to Jesus in faith. He is right next to you in your suffering, hanging on the cross, carrying your burden with you. Turn to him.
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But surely you believe that it’s within God’s power to directly intervene and heal somebody. The medical world has its limitations, but God has no limits for everything is possible. It’s called a miracle. It is beyond human understanding when there is divine intervention.

I’m starting to think that God has too little power to help me. I’m starting to believe that the devil has more power.
 
God does not always hand out miracles.

All I can tell you is to pray as much as you can. Say your rosary every day, attend mass, ask for forgiveness, and God will do as he wishes. Maybe its not that God has abandoned you but that you have become farther from God.

Mother Theresa and other saints had long periods of spiritual dryness where they could not feel God’s presence.

If God wanted to he could perform miracles for everyone to see, and everyone would believe in and love him.

But thats not what he wants…He wants us to believe by our own free will and faith.
 
I can certainly relate to how you’re feeling. I’ve endured chronic illness issues for over 8 years now. While it’s hard to see others who are healed, I’ve come to believe that God has another plan for me.

Because of my illness, I have come to know Jesus much better, and have learned to join my sufferings with His for the salvation of souls. “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christs’ afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church.” (Colossians 1:24)

Because of my illness, I’ve experienced the wonderful generosity of God, coming through my brothers and sisters in Christ, in the way of helping with my kids, buying groceries, helping with medical bills, lifting me up in prayer, and countless other ways. “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” (1 Corinthians 12:26)

Because of my illness, my whole family is closer to God, and we have been able to help countless others in their own struggles with health, finances, and other hardships. “We know that in everything God works for good with those who love Him.” (Romans 8:28)

Because of my illness, I remain close to God, because I know it’s only through His strength that I can make it through another day. St. Paul realized this: “And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me; but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)

God has not abandoned you; He has a special purpose for you. Please reach out to Him and allow Him to work in your life.

As others have said, the majority of saints suffered in some way. This suffering, offered with love, helps us to understand Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice of love for us on the cross.

I will pray for you.
 
((zxc)),

I am sorry you are feeling lonely and depressed. You are not alone here, some of us at one time or another go through this. The saints went through it. I do believe we are allowed to go through it so we will cling to Jesus, to show him we need him. Everything has a purpose.

I find going to visit the Blessed Sacrament and praising God there and thanking Him for what I do have makes things better. I also find Jesus when I forget myself and go out and help someone else.

God is calling you to a new level and purpose, sometimes we need to be still and listen to what He is saying.

I will be saying prayers for you to have strength, and trust God in everything.
 
Pray to the Holy Spirit! This prayer has truly changed my life. I pray it evey day and it has truly helped. Keep your imagination quiet, shut your eyes to all the things of sense, and close your ears to all the sounds of earth, so as to be able to withdraw into the sanctuary of your baptized soul, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit, speaking there to that Holy Spirit saying:

“O Holy Spirit, soul of my soul, I adore You. Enlighten, guide, strengthen and console me. Tell me what I ought to do and command me to do it. I promise to be submissive in everything that You permit to happen to me, only show me what is Your will.”

Consolation will abound even in the midst of troubles. Grace will be given in proportion to the trial as well as strength to bear it, bringing you to the gates of paradise full merit.

Gifts of the Holy Spirit:

Wisdom
Understanding
Right Judgment
Courage
Knowledge
Reverence
Wonder and Awe
 
Hear is another one. Apply it to yourself and your situation.

Come Holy Spirit and fill the hearts of Your faithful people, enkindle in us the fire of Your love. Clothe our entire inner being with the stillness of your presence.

Calm the turmoil withing, with the gentleness of Your peace.
Quiet the anxiety within, with a deep trust in You.
Heal the wounds of sin within, with the joy Your forgiveness.
Strengthen the faith within, with the awareness of Your presence.
Confirm the hope within, with the knowledge of Your strength.
Give fullness to the love within, with an outpouring of Your Love.

O Holy Spirit, be to us a source of light, strength and courage so that we may hear Your voice ever more clearly, and follow it more generously. We ask this in the Name of Jesus, the gift of the Father’s Love, Who reighs with You and the Father forever.

Amen
 
Hey zxc!
Hello!
I want you to realise some salient facts about the situation u are in:
  1. You are clearly suffering in your relationship with God,and your peace is at stake because you cannot see remedy in anything,particularly in God,Who is the real Doctor as u have rightly insisted.
    A more important fact is that GOD IS ALLOWING YOU TO FEEL LOST.One would wonder why.
When I call out to him, things worsen. When I cry to him, things worsen.
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  1. The predicament u are in is in no way special or exclusive.If u have read the Book of Job (please read JOB 3,6 a.s.a.p.) u’ll realise that Job’s pain is an archetype: it is the same sense(probably worse) of hopelessness,the foreboding gloom,irritation,and finally,dismay that all of us have to face in varying degrees.
I’m exhausted with it all, but there is no rest, there is no hope that it will all get better.
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I’ve lost all my friends, I feel so lonely, I am so depressed, I don’t even know what love is anymore.
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  1. Your dismay is an outcome of life issues; now I don’t know what they are, but I’ll assume it doesn’t quite matter what kind they are of.
I suggest the following:
Read over what I have noted.

Try to understand that you are NOT ALONE IN YOUR STRUGGLE…*convince yourself *that your case is not exclusive and immedicable…even Job was absoluetly sure God hates…and He was kinda wrong.

Try to realise(& I cannot say how imp this is) that *the devil will try all sorts of false arguments and trials with u,and he’ll bring it all in the guise of reason,rationality,etc.DON’T LISTEN TO him-he’s the father of all lies.*OUR GOD IS ALL-WISE.

Since we know God appears to be silently watching,and that He LOVES us to folly,that He is Wisdom and He is Omnipotent,bear with Him. Tell Him,“I don’t know what U r up to,and why.I’m trying but can’t see help; BUT i don’t care-i’ll not make the mistake Job made: I’ll believe.”
The same goes for Mary.
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Let me assure you she couldn’t care more about you…praying for you on her knees,Queen though she is,her Heart pierced in sorrow for us,the woman weeps.Remember Cana.your wine is running out!!! RUN to her…she’ll help (u may not see it).

Try to realise that I am praying for u,like all our brothers & sisters at CAF are,& prayer does not go wasted.
St. Michael will help,but “pray unceasingly” for yourself.
Be showered in blessings.:gopray2:
 
If you feel that you are beyond your own ability to help yourself then you need to seek the help of others whether it be a psychiatrist/psychologist or a prayer team.

Any Catholic church can direct you to the nearest prayer group. Tell them that you wish to be prayed over for your depression. It’s very possible that in doing so you will also make some new friends with this group. If there is something demonic going on with you too causing the depression and so forth the prayer group will figure it out and work to deliver you.

You must also be open to the possibility that you might need some medical attention. I know this sucks from (personal experiance) because no one wants to have this kind of a problem. But for me, at one point in my life I got so low that I didn’t care what it meant I just wanted to feel better and I went to the emergency room. They ended up putting me into a psychiatric ward for a couple days where I learned that I was hypothyroid. All it took was a tiny thyroid pill and I was all better. I would’ve never figured that out unless I went to the ER and the psyc ward. If you’re so low already you shouldn’t care so much about going because you can’t possibly get any worse anyway.

Good luck!
Sarah
 
I’m sorry, but I fail to be moved by any of the OP’s testimony. His refusal to seek professional help and insistence that God intervene miraculously bespeaks the kind of arrogance that is borne out of a desire to put God to the test. He wishes God to work on his own terms and accuses God and Mary of abandoning him when he does not get his way. In the middle of this tempest of self-pity he has created for himself, he then lapses into despair and claims he has lost hope.

I would advise declining to be dragged into this pity party. I say that what is needed here is for the OP to grow a backbone, become resolute in the faith and bear whatever trials God sees fit to send his way with patience. It is towards this end that we should all direct our prayers for this confused soul.
 
Other Eric,

I realize you speak out of charity and compassion. I also know, having suffered from this same (or similar) arrogance and self-pity that it still hurts, alot.

zxc,

As you will see in Job 39, we don’t always (often) know what/why God is allowing certain sufferings. The only way I’ve sometimes been able to find Peace is in knowing that I don’t know. Sometimes I’m able to put down my pride enough to try to listen, truly listen to what He’s trying (and probably shouting!) to me by quieting my mind completely and also by listening to people that I know are holy (they may or may not have a message for me). Sometimes, these moments of ah hah! come when I’m babysitting my toddler grandchildren. I know how extremely I love them and I also know that what I need to do sometimes when they’re having a tantrum or whatever is seen by them as uncaring. Boy, does that make me feel foolish about my own actions/thoughts toward the Lord!
On this “side” all we can give Him is our full trust, love/praise/thanksgiving, humility, and obedience.

PS. The other day I heard a holy man and priest say that if we don’t use anti-depressants we can’t do as much good in the world. I don’t have any idea if medical help is one thing the Lord wants for you, however you might want to pray about it - especially in front of the Blessed Sacrament. :crossrc:
 
I’ve been going through similar trials recently, and I know how difficult it can be. I’m not sure if I’d recommend you see a doctor or therapist about it, as I don’t have a lot of insight into your situation. I would certainly suggest you speak to a priest or spiritual director though, and make yourself obedient to them; it’s very easy to fall victim to Satan if you’ve got nobody to guide you in the right path.

As many people have said, you are not alone. All the saints have endured these struggles, and countless numbers of your brothers and sisters continue to here on earth. It is in our acceptance and patient bearing of these struggles, though, that we are made stronger, and atonement is made in union with Christ’s sufferings for ours and for others’ sins.

Persevere in prayer, even if it does seem to make things worse. As Our Lord tells St. Faustina, “Do not be guided by feeling, because it is not always under your control; but all merit lies in the will.” Pray the Rosary every day, go before the Blessed Sacrament as often as you can, and recieve the Eucharist daily if possible. God will give you all the strength you need to bear through this, trust in Him and Our Lady and don’t worry, because you are not alone.
 
Other Eric,

Some people who are that deeply into depression go into denial that they need some form of help and hence contest the idea of seeking professional treatment. However, I am not saying that this is right, but maybe the OP believes that therapy cannot help him because he is in too deep. I am not good at giving advice (I am more of a person who ends up asking for advice, not giving it), but even though tough love can be necessary at times, I think that dealing with someone who probably wants to off himself, may necessitate a bit more gentleness. Going into this type of depression can feel like falling into quicksand, and maybe it does take a literal miracle to get someone out of this quicksand.
 
Dear zxc,

The very fact that you posted here means you have hope, however faint it may be. So all is not lost.

So many of us replied to you just goes to show that you havent lost all your friends.

The fact that we chose to reply to you and encourage you without knowing who you are is in itself a miracle. We could have just read your post and left it at that.

God knows you are hurting so He does not ask for your prayers right now. He knows that all of us are lifting you in prayer. So zxc just relax. Get some rest. Give yourself a break. Get good sleep. It does not matter if you dont feel like praying. Even a mere thought of God is enough.

Dont lose hope zxc. Your post could have been mine. I did not want to do all the things you did not want to do including going to see a psychiatrist. But eventually I did, and got better… Look at the name I have chosen as my id. Does it tell you anything about the relationship I have with God ? When I spent so much time fighting & doubting Him. Finally I had to agree that He knows best…
 
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