I Don't Know Where to Go

[St_Aloysius]

I’m so confused…

I’ve done threads on this kind of thing before, but I need some advice.

I’m 14, about to go into highschool. I have a crush on my same-sex friend–and it’s more serious, I think, than any I’ve had before. I’m worried I’m headed down a path.

I come from a Protestant background and only this past year have found my way home. My mother refuses to let me be confirmed till I’m eighteen. So I can’t partake of the Eucharist, or participate in ANY of the sacraments. I guess because of all this, I’ve felt “freer” to follow my own inclinations. “After all,” I figure, “I don’t have to worry about receiving Christ in a certain state or going to confession YET.”

I know, I know. I should make a spiritual communion and meet with my priest anyway. Part of me wants to…

The other doesn’t.

My friend is an amazing person and comes from a really close Catholic family. They’re amazing! I love them. We hang out a lot. He’s so incredibly nice (beautiful, too), and when I’m around him… I don’t know. I always here people say they get “butterflies.” I do around him. Sometimes we go on walks… and it’s like, by the way he looks at me and smiles sometimes, like maybe–just maybe–I’m not totally crazy and he returns my sentiments. He’s not “effeminate” or anything–but he’s not the typical he-man jock guy either. He’s Polish and has an amazing build. He’s a swimmer. His little bros are gymnists.

I first saw him in my CCD class (I attend, but am not technically IN the class). I never minded him much, as he was quiet and well-mannered. I’m not. lol Not at all. I speak my mind and speak loudly. I thought he was cute. I didn’t approach him. It wasn’t until I sat behind them in the Youth Mass that I REALLY noticed him–during the sign of peace. Afterwards, they were all speaking with a nun that was visiting our parish, and she asked us if we knew each other. We all began talking.

I’m even more confused because of another friend. Her name is Danielle. She is also from my CCD class. She’s gorgeous and uber-nice and very opionated (the lattermost why her romantic life is nonexistent). She had a thing for me for a long time. We’re really close, and so I finally came out and told her that I liked him. I knew she’d understand. Not only did she, but she SUPPORTED me. It was, and is, nice to have her unconditional love–but I told her outright I didn’t believe it all to be right. Still, I caught myself talking to her about it as if it were a definite possibility.

I’m probably just reading too much into certain things. I doubt he really feels the same. Still… I sometimes wonder. I want to be close to him. I want to be his. And somehow, I’ve just let all this go on. I pray and talk to God and go to Mass and get into the Scriptures. But it’s like my attraction and my thoughts and all that don’t even phase me like they used to. I just live in a contradiction.

I want to do what’s right to God and have every idea where to start–yet I keep hesitating.

I need some wisdom here.

 

[Tietjen]

Okay. First, you can go to Confession and Communion without first being Confirmed. Why is your mom not allowing you to be Confirmed prior to you turning 18?

Second, have you (or can you) speak to your parents about what you are going through concerning this same-sex attraction? If you are unable to speak to your parents about this, I would suggest talking to your parish Priest about it. God bless & I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[blessedtoo]

I want to do what’s right to God and have every idea where to start–yet I keep hesitating.

I need some wisdom here.

Young friend,
I don’t know if this person you are talking about is the same one you posted about a little while back, but even if he is not, the same excellent advice from that thread still applies.

Understand this: you have a choice to make. Undeniably, it is a difficult one but where you go from here completely depends on how you choose to handle these confusing feelings you are now having.

As was advised before, dwelling on these feelings, entertaining fantasies about this person and discussing these issues with folks who “support” homosexual behavior will only serve to embolden your temptations to act on your confused feelings. When I began my recovery from addiction, I was advised to steer clear of the people, places and things that reminded me of or tempted me to indulge my compulsion to drink and drug. In your case, spending time with a boy for whom you have confused feelings is very unwise. It is also not prudent to tell your school mates of these feelings, no matter how desperately you may want to talk. You should be seeking counsel with your parents and a priest. If you are not able to be received into the Church until you are 18, then seek a good Protestant pastor to help you sort through this difficult time.

You already know the truth about homosexual behavior. Being unable to receive the Eucharist does not grant you any special permission to do as you please. You may not be held accountable by the Church (because you are not yet Catholic) but you will be held accountable by God. The truth is the truth, no matter what faith you belong to.

But it’s like my attraction and my thoughts and all that don’t even phase me like they used to. I just live in a contradiction.

This comment alarms me and it should alarm you as well. Following the course you are on will inevitably chip away at what you know to be the truth. It’s easy to find people who will support sinful behavior and help you justify and rationalize why you should do as you please. Without a proper spiritual support system in place, you will struggle to stay pure. Extract yourself from the situations which are fraught with temptation and surround yourself with people who also want you to find your joy and happiness in Christ.

 

[Koopa]

I know that these are very serious feelings you are having and I know the magnitude of your situation, so please don’t take this the wrong way. The fact is that craziness hormones like to attack adolescents. I can say that because they attack me too. I would be very surprised to learn that anyone has gone through adolescence without at least some confusion about their orientation. I myself was worried at one point, but then adolescence ended and the craziness hormones let up (for the most part). Basically, my mind just wanted to attach itself to anyone because hey, that’s what the hormones told it to!

I hate saying this, but you need to give your mind time to calm itself. As your hormones finally decide to leave you alone, I think you’ll realize that your attraction was a particularly violent manifestation of adolescent chemical imbalance. Pleeeeeease don’t take that the wrong way. I really do understand how serious this is, I’m barely past your age. I hated when people talked to me like this, but I know you’re much more mature than I was, so I think you’ll at least listen. It’s pretty much scientific fact that adolescence = insanity.

I am also sure that there is much wisdom to be gained through the Sacraments, particularly in Confirmation. Even if you don’t “feel” it, I’ll bet that when you’re confirmed you’ll notice a real difference in your life and spirituality. Try to get to these Sacraments as quickly as possible, starting with confession. You have to take the first step towards helping yourself or nothing will ever change.

I would definitely recommend to pray a lot lot lot. I especially think the Rosary would be a powerful tool to battle temptation. Mary will grant you all the wisdom you ask for, and she has endless sympathy for your situation. Remember that Christ had the courage to resist endless temptations. He even had the courage to die for all of us. Make his sacrifice count, and do all you can to serve him (and how better to serve him than by serving his Blessed Mother!).

Also, I fully support blessedtoo’s advice to NOT TALK TO ANY SCHOOLMATES. We highschoolers are notorious for blindly accepting the majoritive position, which in this case would be to “follow your heart,” which, in student language, really means to give in to your urges. Don’t. Be the master of your own self. Don’t let yourself do anything that your soul does not want you to do. Don’t let chemicals control you. You have much more power than that. Delight in things of the soul and rid yourself of attachment to the things that don’t matter.

Adolescence is stupid and annoying, but it ends, and with adequate spiritual direction and involvement, hopefully this will too.

You’re in my prayers,
Koopa

 

[panoikei]

That is true…Adolescence is a crazy time in your life. You are only one year older than my son. It’s just that time in your life when anything that moves might induce impure thoughts. There was a comedian…I think it was …well can’t remember for sure. Anyway. George Carlin…and he’s an athiest. I wouldn’t want to alingn myself with him. He gave a spill about going on a date, and hormones going crazy as a teen. While he was waiting at the fireplace a dog came and did what dogs do…the end of his spill was forget the girl get the dog. It was funny, yet sick at the same time. The point is that teens are absolutely crazy this time of their life.

I know people that live chastely who have SSA. Personally as a straight male, I can understand how men can be attracted to men…note the word understand, not feel. My mental capacity through historical studies can see how a people can easily get twisted into believing they might be or give into SSA. Your mental and hormonal capacity are not working together. A priest I knew made passes on high school boys and me later on when hid. I rejected it, turned him in, and left where I was. He later left the priesthood and married. So don’t fool yourself. You could easily grow out of this. So like I tell other young people, especially my son…don’t do something that you would be ashamed of later on in life. Think about your parents…even if the attraction was heterosexual, makes no diffference. Give yourself a break and make some friends that are girls if you have to, but keep you hands to yourself.

You should seek the Blessed Mother’s intercession. She will bring you to Jesus. When tempted to any type of sexual impurity, place yourself mentally at the foot of the cross with Christ hangin on it. Think about what He did for you. Suffer for Christ by rejectikng this temptation.

The Lent Prayer begins with “Come let us worship Christ the Lord, who for our sake, endured temptation and suffering”

It is part of the Liturgy of the Hours that I try to pray every day. Maybe that’s what you should serioiusly consider doing. Pray the Hours. It will make you holy. The Rosary is a good devotion as well for consecrating oneself to Mary, our Mother, is a devotion that seems to help keep men pure. Pray to her to pray for you. Ask your guardian angel to pray for you too and to fight the demons that tempt you. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with enough grace to endure your suffering. Which makes me wonder. Are you baptized?

 

[puzzleannie]

first of all for a young adolescent to have a crush on someone of the same sex, is not necessarily the same thing as a deep rooted inclination to same-sex attraction. It is in fact a normal part of maturation to have strong feelings of admiration and affection for a peer or mentor of the same sex, and can actually be healthy if it leads to emulating good qualities of that idividual. The difficulty if that mentor is homosexual is that the mentor may be conditioned to feel he can act on and take advantage of the affection to intiate a premature and damaging sexual relationship. For that reason alone one must seek advice of an caring, safe adult in negotiating these things. Part of normal growth is learning to differentiate between crushes, puppy love, admiration, infatuation etc. and true mature human friendship and love.

 

[Scottgun]

As others either said or alluded to, don’t fall for the ontological homosexual canard.

Err…let me get out of nerd mode. Sorry for the wordiness, but basically it means doing something homosexual is something one chooses to do and it’s a lie when someone says that because you feel same-sex attraction, it means you are a homosexual. Feelings are real and serious of course, but they are not in charge, truth is. For instance, I have a short temper and when someone cuts me off on the highway, I feel anger and a desire to get out of the car and punch him through the window. Does that mean I am a thug and should just accept that and punch people freely? Not at all because the truth is that it is wrong to do that. So I acknowledge the feeling and let it go so that Truth prevails.

God bless you. You will be in my prayers.

 

[Seminarian_X]

This again. Come on, people.

 

[bpbasilphx]

At your age, I wouldn’t worry too much about same-sex attraction to your friend meaning you’re gay.

At your time of life all sorts of circuits are being turned on and tested. It’s part of growing up. Don’t worry about it.

 

[mangy_dog]

I’m so confused…

I’ve done threads on this kind of thing before, but I need some advice.

I’m 14, about to go into highschool. I have a crush on my same-sex friend–and it’s more serious, I think, than any I’ve had before. I’m worried I’m headed down a path.

I come from a Protestant background and only this past year have found my way home. My mother refuses to let me be confirmed till I’m eighteen. So I can’t partake of the Eucharist, or participate in ANY of the sacraments. I guess because of all this, I’ve felt “freer” to follow my own inclinations. “After all,” I figure, “I don’t have to worry about receiving Christ in a certain state or going to confession YET.”

I know, I know. I should make a spiritual communion and meet with my priest anyway. Part of me wants to…

The other doesn’t.

My friend is an amazing person and comes from a really close Catholic family. They’re amazing! I love them. We hang out a lot. He’s so incredibly nice (beautiful, too), and when I’m around him… I don’t know. I always here people say they get “butterflies.” I do around him. Sometimes we go on walks… and it’s like, by the way he looks at me and smiles sometimes, like maybe–just maybe–I’m not totally crazy and he returns my sentiments. He’s not “effeminate” or anything–but he’s not the typical he-man jock guy either. He’s Polish and has an amazing build. He’s a swimmer. His little bros are gymnists.

I first saw him in my CCD class (I attend, but am not technically IN the class). I never minded him much, as he was quiet and well-mannered. I’m not. lol Not at all. I speak my mind and speak loudly. I thought he was cute. I didn’t approach him. It wasn’t until I sat behind them in the Youth Mass that I REALLY noticed him–during the sign of peace. Afterwards, they were all speaking with a nun that was visiting our parish, and she asked us if we knew each other. We all began talking.

I’m even more confused because of another friend. Her name is Danielle. She is also from my CCD class. She’s gorgeous and uber-nice and very opionated (the lattermost why her romantic life is nonexistent). She had a thing for me for a long time. We’re really close, and so I finally came out and told her that I liked him. I knew she’d understand. Not only did she, but she SUPPORTED me. It was, and is, nice to have her unconditional love–but I told her outright I didn’t believe it all to be right. Still, I caught myself talking to her about it as if it were a definite possibility.

I’m probably just reading too much into certain things. I doubt he really feels the same. Still… I sometimes wonder. I want to be close to him. I want to be his. And somehow, I’ve just let all this go on. I pray and talk to God and go to Mass and get into the Scriptures. But it’s like my attraction and my thoughts and all that don’t even phase me like they used to. I just live in a contradiction.

I want to do what’s right to God and have every idea where to start–yet I keep hesitating.

I need some wisdom here.

Hello Alo…

I’m probably the only one on this site that’s going to put it this bluntly.
The actualization (that is, putting into practice) of homosexual temptations is a sin and is of the devil. It doesn’t matter how much anyone “sugar-coats” the issue - it is of the devil.

Lucifer is the one convincing you, thru your own concupiscence that this is a “nice friend and he’s catholic and this, that and the other thing”.
If you’ve already commited or succumed to a homosexual act,… stop now, go to confession and frimly resolve to not commit any further acts of homosexuality.
Seems to me that you are up to your neck in alligators. If I were you, I would do prayer, abstinence,fasting and weekly confession.
Daily rosary wouldn’t hurt either.
You have to take immediate action to defeat the temptatiions that will only lead you deeper into the presence of Lucifer. He will cloud your mind, your heart and your soul.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.

 

[Just_wondering]

At fourteen, you’re just coming into yourself. It’s natural to feel attraction to members of the opposite sex - it’s probably a result of a combination of admiration and hormones.

I felt the same way about a friend of mine when I was 20. (I was a late bloomer.) It got to the point that people asked me if I was a lesbian. Now, almost ten years later, I don’t feel that way at all. There was one girl that I met only once, but I instantly developed a crush on her. She had this confidence, this magnetic personality. I never saw her again, but I’ve tried to emulate her to this day. In fact, my boyfriend shares some traits with her - gentleness of spirit in combination with willingness to be different.

I think what you have to do is isolate what you like and admire about this boy. The things that you can imitate, try to imitate. Add some aspects of this boy’s personality to your mental list of things you want in a wife. You’ve got years to wait before you marry, and you will have crushes on women that you can’t have, either, and you will get over them too.

Don’t confide this kind of stuff in friends, I think. It’s best not to have a reputation for same-sex attraction when you do settle down. I’m glad I never told anybody I know about my attraction for the two women I admired so much.

Good luck with your struggles. I will pray for you.

 

[St_Aloysius]

First, you can go to Confession and Communion without first being Confirmed. Why is your mom not allowing you to be Confirmed prior to you turning 18?

Someone of a Protestant upbringing must be received into the Church via Confirmation (since I have already been baptized) and THEN proceed to Confession and the holy Eucharist (on the Easter vigil, I think). My mom doesn’t want me to be confirmed because…well, I don’t know. She says SHE doesn’t ‘believe that way.’ I don’t understand how she thinks that’s supposed to affect my convictions, though. I don’t think religion takes real priority with her, and so it’s difficult for her to understand my yearning for the sacraments.

first of all for a young adolescent to have a crush on someone of the same sex, is not necessarily the same thing as a deep rooted inclination to same-sex attraction. It is in fact a normal part of maturation to have strong feelings of admiration and affection for a peer or mentor of the same sex, and can actually be healthy if it leads to emulating good qualities of that idividual. The difficulty if that mentor is homosexual is that the mentor may be conditioned to feel he can act on and take advantage of the affection to intiate a premature and damaging sexual relationship.

I know that admiration plays a part in it. I don’t think it’s totally wound up in this, though. I don’t think he’s homosexual. I mean, sometimes… the way he looks at me—or because of certain moments of tension—I don’t know… I guess I got the feeling it COULD be. But he seems to make clear otherwise. I know that’s good and all, but it sort of makes me sad.

I’m probably the only one on this site that’s going to put it this bluntly.
The actualization (that is, putting into practice) of homosexual temptations is a sin and is of the devil. It doesn’t matter how much anyone “sugar-coats” the issue - it is of the devil.

I agree with the Church on this matter. Her position and approach to it is supremely logical—and I’ve found Catholics to be, by and large, the most sympathetic and caring group when it comes to this stuff.

At fourteen, you’re just coming into yourself. It’s natural to feel attraction to members of the opposite sex - it’s probably a result of a combination of admiration and hormones.

I have a hard time leaving it at this. I mean: MOST people will say they’ve never experienced something like what I (or even you) just described.

Thanks for everything.

This past Sunday, he was supposed to show up for the Teen Mass and come with me to Youth Group. I waited for him…and waited. No show. I even caught myself thinking of him during the Gospel Reading! That was the point where I told God ‘thy will be done’ and tried to concentrate. By the end of the Mass, I determined to stop asking God, in the words of St. Augustine, “Lord, give me chastity—just not now.” I said, “Now.” I was about to leave to talk to Father about the whole thing when I noticed a figure beside me. It was him! Apparently his family had been thrown off by daylight saving’s time. I felt, maybe because of my resolution, a lot more in check around him in Youth. But I couldn’t help but wonder if his showing up last-minute like that was really a good thing or not. I’ve been a bit better about chastity lately, though—with slip-ups here and there.

Pray! And keep commenting, please. I need some support.

Thanks again. I’ll try to keep you guys updated.

 

[mangy_dog]

Someone of a Protestant upbringing must be received into the Church via Confirmation (since I have already been baptized) and THEN proceed to Confession and the holy Eucharist (on the Easter vigil, I think). My mom doesn’t want me to be confirmed because…well, I don’t know. She says SHE doesn’t ‘believe that way.’ I don’t understand how she thinks that’s supposed to affect my convictions, though. I don’t think religion takes real priority with her, and so it’s difficult for her to understand my yearning for the sacraments.

I know that admiration plays a part in it. I don’t think it’s totally wound up in this, though. I don’t think he’s homosexual. I mean, sometimes… the way he looks at me—or because of certain moments of tension—I don’t know… I guess I got the feeling it COULD be. But he seems to make clear otherwise. I know that’s good and all, but it sort of makes me sad.

I agree with the Church on this matter. Her position and approach to it is supremely logical—and I’ve found Catholics to be, by and large, the most sympathetic and caring group when it comes to this stuff.

I have a hard time leaving it at this. I mean: MOST people will say they’ve never experienced something like what I (or even you) just described.

Thanks for everything.

This past Sunday, he was supposed to show up for the Teen Mass and come with me to Youth Group. I waited for him…and waited. No show. I even caught myself thinking of him during the Gospel Reading! That was the point where I told God ‘thy will be done’ and tried to concentrate. By the end of the Mass, I determined to stop asking God, in the words of St. Augustine, “Lord, give me chastity—just not now.” I said, “Now.” I was about to leave to talk to Father about the whole thing when I noticed a figure beside me. It was him! Apparently his family had been thrown off by daylight saving’s time. I felt, maybe because of my resolution, a lot more in check around him in Youth. But I couldn’t help but wonder if his showing up last-minute like that was really a good thing or not. I’ve been a bit better about chastity lately, though—with slip-ups here and there.

Pray! And keep commenting, please. I need some support.

Thanks again. I’ll try to keep you guys updated.

Just as an FYI.

Some people’s guardian angels are on “indefinite paid vacation”. Ever since I started treating my guardian angel as an actual celestial being, commission by God to be with me forever - He has been working overtime. I speak to him everyday and at several moments of the day. Besides saying the Guardian Angel prayer at the end of my daily rosary, I’ve divised a method of remembering him in regular occurences. Any time I find a penny, nickel or other small currency like that, I say the Guardian Angel prayer and thank my guardian angel. Not for the money but for the reminder that he is with me always.

Another common occurence in my daily life is temptation and sin.
I know (and hopefully everyone realizes) that sin/temptation come from 3 sources: The influence of the world; our own concupiscence and the devil. Especially with the temptations that afflict me the most I recognize that Lucifer is on the prowl and so I find myself saying the St. Michael Archangel prayer several times a day.

Not always but, on certain times of the year I place a small pebble in my shoe. Not so big that it lacerates my foot but, not so small that I forget its there. Everytime it aches or bothers I say a prayer. It keeps me praying throughout the day until it becomes habit again.

Alo…use one, the other or all 3. Whatever works for you. But by all means - Break away from the grasp of the sin and temptation that afflicts you!

I can pray all day so the Lord will keep me from getting burned but I have to stop playing with matches.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.

 

[InLight247]

I know that admiration plays a part in it. I don’t think it’s totally wound up in this, though. I don’t think he’s homosexual. I mean, sometimes… the way he looks at me—or because of certain moments of tension—I don’t know… I guess I got the feeling it COULD be. But he seems to make clear otherwise. I know that’s good and all, but it sort of makes me sad.

Please, do yourself a favor, get out of your speculation and do not allow yourself going the wrong direction.

You are only fourteen, at the beginning of your social life. It is critical to follow the Bible teaching, to gear yourself to the right path. There is life and death set before you, choose life. Do what is pleasing to the Lord.

Life is a series of choices. Do not indulge yourself in any fantasy or temptation. Choose to get out of your fantasy. Choose to stop speculating. Choose to get over your sentiment. Do not invite trouble. Choose to resist temptation, flee away from it.

There is nothig to be confused about. Where should you go? You should concentrate on you study, your learning, your prayer, and closely follow the Lord. Know that sentiment and attractions are normal part of your growing up, and let them pass. Think about whater is pure and whatever is noble. Let friendship be pure friendship.

God bless!

 

[Ravenhawk]

I’m new to this site, and perhaps this won’t be an auspicious entry into a thread, but I have a few questions for you St Aloysius:

1. Are you SURE you are an 8th grader? You sure don’t write like any 8th grader I have known, and I know the writing of 8th graders very well…
2. Are you sure you are Catholic? Why can’t you receive the sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist then?
3. Are you sure you want wisdom? It sounds a lot more like you want someone to tell you that what you are doing is ok. It isn’t.

I know this may sound harsh and uncharitable, but you are indeed heading down a path, and it isn’t in a good direction. At your age (if you truly are 14), you really shouldn’t be looking for any sexual relationships–male or female. If you ARE 14, then you are incredibly bright and surely you can find a healthy outlet for the surging hormones in your body. Keep yourself busy with exercise and homework. Join a sport or other school or community activity. Keep your mind off of sex. You aren’t allowed to participate in sexual activity until you are married, so don’t dwell on it. It sounds like you aren’t Catholic yet, but would like to be. You need to be certain that you understand the Church’s stance on sexuality and understand that your personal desires are not going to change Church teaching. I don’t want to drive you away from the Church, but you do need to understand what you are committing to. Even if you do turn out to be something other than heterosexual, and it’s way too soon to know that at 14, it isn’t going to change the fact that the only acceptable expression of genital sexuality is going to be within a valid marriage.
So, here’s my wisdom, for what it is worth:

1. Focus on healthy outlets for all that adolescent energy and pray hard to live chastely. You will need to live chastely for your entire life, even if you marry. Start now.
2. Remember that you are still responsible for your behavior and sins even if you are not yet Catholic, assuming you have already been baptized. You will be confessing them some day if you convert… Even if you haven’t been baptized, you really don’t want to run around committing sins presumptuously.
3. Wait until you are a mature adult to worry about your sexual persuasion. You won’t know until then and worrying won’t change anything.

 

[Seminarian_X]

I’m new to this site, and perhaps this won’t be an auspicious entry into a thread, but I have a few questions for you St Aloysius:

1. Are you SURE you are an 8th grader? You sure don’t write like any 8th grader I have known, and I know the writing of 8th graders very well…

And the scales fall from the eyes.

14 year old boys struggling with same sex attraction do not spend time waxing poetic over their “beautiful” and “cute” male friend with “an amazing build.” (And to top it off, he’s got a “gorgeous” and “uber-nice” female friend who fully supports him. Please.)

This sounds more like the sick fantasy of an adult homosexual.

But perhaps I’m wrong. Have been before.

 

[St_Aloysius]

1. Are you SURE you are an 8th grader? You sure don’t write like any 8th grader I have known, and I know the writing of 8th graders very well…

Pretty darn sure.

1. Are you sure you are Catholic? Why can’t you receive the sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist then?

I’m Catholic in my convictions and want to be fully received into the Church. I want to touch and experience God in the sacraments… so badly. I know what this entails. My family isn’t, though. My mom’s against the whole thing. (Not for any good reason. I think it makes her question her beliefs to an uncomfortable degree or something. I don’t know.)

1. Are you sure you want wisdom? It sounds a lot more like you want someone to tell you that what you are doing is ok. It isn’t.

If I wanted approval, I’d just talk to some of my friends. I’m looking for experience. A few adults I really respect who are active in my parish know, as does one priest (there’s another I’d rather sit down and talk about all this with.) They are the ones in my life I go to for direction, and they’re as Catholic as they come. Totally devoted. I guess it’s just easy to post here knowing that there’s privacy in the confession and because sometimes this stuff is overwhelming and those I have the quickest access to (like Danielle) are usually leading me in not-so-great directions. (She doesn’t know any better.)

And the scales fall from the eyes.

14 year old boys struggling with same sex attraction do not spend time waxing poetic over their “beautiful” and “cute” male friend with “an amazing build.” (And to top it off, he’s got a “gorgeous” and “uber-nice” female friend who fully supports him. Please.)

He’s built like a swimmer… so what? Part of the attraction is physical. And I don’t know how else to say someone’s attractive. (Oh, well I guess I just did.) Keep in mind I spend seven hours a day surrounded by dramatic, love-striken teens… The terminology rubs off.

lol “Uber”? I also say “nifty” and “groovy.” I figured, after Danielle counted me saying “awesome” over two hundred times in about a week’s time, it was about time to shake things up.

She’s from New York originally. She lived in the Bahamas for a while and then Florida. Right now she’s here in the Bible Belt. I think that’s why she’s so “open” to this stuff. She’s known people from every conceivable background. I’ve made it clear that I’m with the Church on this issue to her before, though–it’s just hard to live up to. Her mom’s the same way.

This sounds more like the sick fantasy of an adult homosexual.

But perhaps I’m wrong. Have been before.

Oy…This again? (I got this on my stinkin’ first thread too!)

Am I 14? Yup. Do I have an 14-year-old brain? Heck no! But that’s okay with me. (Well, okay, algebra’s the exception. I’m not so hot in there.) lol I get A’s in English and SEARCH (Adv. Lit.). I probably couldn’t write a book or anything, though, 'cause I’m a perfectionist and have this habit of rereading everything ten times.

Sad, I know.

 

[Ravenhawk]

No, what’s “sad” is that my suspicions are firmly in line with Seminarian X. I think you are a “poser,” and you just want a forum for depravity. You don’t want wisdom–you want an audience. I apologize if I am wrong about you being 14. You are ego-centric enough to be 14, but I don’t apologize for the depravity comment. You cannot justify your obvious desire to continue your behavior that you recognize as wrong. I think you want people to tell you it is okay. It is not.
We all sin, and we all have certain sins we struggle with more than others, but our aim should be to live each day as sinlessly as possible and use every means of grace to avoid sin, especially those we know present a struggle for us. We are called to avoid sin and the near occasions of it, not wallow in it. Whether you are who you say you are or not, you are wallowing.
I will no longer read any of your threads because I do not believe you are who you claim to be and I do not believe you want Catholic answers. I will, however, offer a prayer for you. That’s something you can use no matter who you are…

 

[Seminarian_X]

Pretty darn sure.

I’m Catholic in my convictions and want to be fully received into the Church. I want to touch and experience God in the sacraments… so badly. I know what this entails. My family isn’t, though. My mom’s against the whole thing. (Not for any good reason. I think it makes her question her beliefs to an uncomfortable degree or something. I don’t know.)

If I wanted approval, I’d just talk to some of my friends. I’m looking for experience. A few adults I really respect who are active in my parish know, as does one priest (there’s another I’d rather sit down and talk about all this with.) They are the ones in my life I go to for direction, and they’re as Catholic as they come. Totally devoted. I guess it’s just easy to post here knowing that there’s privacy in the confession and because sometimes this stuff is overwhelming and those I have the quickest access to (like Danielle) are usually leading me in not-so-great directions. (She doesn’t know any better.)

He’s built like a swimmer… so what? Part of the attraction is physical. And I don’t know how else to say someone’s attractive. (Oh, well I guess I just did.) Keep in mind I spend seven hours a day surrounded by dramatic, love-striken teens… The terminology rubs off.

lol “Uber”? I also say “nifty” and “groovy.” I figured, after Danielle counted me saying “awesome” over two hundred times in about a week’s time, it was about time to shake things up.

She’s from New York originally. She lived in the Bahamas for a while and then Florida. Right now she’s here in the Bible Belt. I think that’s why she’s so “open” to this stuff. She’s known people from every conceivable background. I’ve made it clear that I’m with the Church on this issue to her before, though–it’s just hard to live up to. Her mom’s the same way.

Oy…This again? (I got this on my stinkin’ first thread too!)

Am I 14? Yup. Do I have an 14-year-old brain? Heck no! But that’s okay with me. (Well, okay, algebra’s the exception. I’m not so hot in there.) lol I get A’s in English and SEARCH (Adv. Lit.). I probably couldn’t write a book or anything, though, 'cause I’m a perfectionist and have this habit of rereading everything ten times.

Sad, I know.

Awfully campy for a 14 year old. Next time, you might want to tone that down a bit.

Most of the people that post on this forum are earnest, devout Catholics who wouldn’t have a clue what you mean when you drop a euphemism like “built like a swimmer.” However, I know exactly from which deviant sub culture that phrase originates. Unfortunately, some of us have seen and heard things in our life that would scandalize normal, healthy, happy human beings.

I don’t know what your plan on this forum is, but I suspect you’ll probably be dropping the other shoe shortly. And you and your buddies will have a good laugh at the expense of those naive Catholics.

I’m with Ravenhawk. I will offer a prayer for you. The fact that you’ve chosen a Catholic forum for your act says a lot more about you than it does the fine Catholics who have responded to you in good faith. Something you might wish to consider.

 

[St_Aloysius]

I will do my best to call Father as soon as possible.

I guess then this thread should be closed.