I don't like people

[KendraDZ1902]

I’ve contemplated where to put this and I figured that this is the best spot.

I really don’t care for most people. I can become aggravated easily and I have aggressive behavior. These symptoms are due to my mental illness, I also know that I shouldn’t take out these feelings on others. I just can’t help but I just don’t like people. They annoy me. Like, I what to scream just to let out frustration. I deal with my people disliking feelings. I can hang out with people, but sometimes I just can’t handle the sight of obnoxious people. Obnoxiousness varies, sometimes people can be less obnoxious than other times.

Anyway, I know I shouldn’t have these feelings. We are all children of God. I just don’t understand why some/most people, depending on the day, drive me nuts. I really don’t know what I need to do about this.

 

[Christy_Beth]

First of all, know that you aren’t alone in this. I also have been diagnosed as mentally ill. I know what it’s like to want to scream and bonk people on the head. Do you have a doctor to go to? Do you have any meds to take? If not, this might be something to look into. This won’t be a cure all, but it may help calm down your symptoms enough for you to cope better with what’s going on in your life. And, through a counselor (which I am not), you might want to explore meeting new people, and making other changes that will help. I’ll be praying for you, and a few prayers to St. Dymphna wouldn’t hurt either.

 

[ClearWater]

Sounds terrible!

 

[JackVk]

I sympathize with you completely. Reminds me of the “thorn in my side, an agent of Satan” of which St. Paul writes. I, for one, am about as outgoing and spontaneous as Bilbo Baggins.

Granted, this world is full of stupid people. You just have to get over it.

The worst part of it is that you often can’t tell someone they are being obnoxious without looking like an a-hole. You have to choose between politeness and honesty. We all have those days where anyone who crosses us will end up offended, injured, or dead . Prayers headed your way.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

First of all, know that you aren’t alone in this. I also have been diagnosed as mentally ill. I know what it’s like to want to scream and bonk people on the head. Do you have a doctor to go to? Do you have any meds to take? If not, this might be something to look into. This won’t be a cure all, but it may help calm down your symptoms enough for you to cope better with what’s going on in your life. And, through a counselor (which I am not), you might want to explore meeting new people, and making other changes that will help. I’ll be praying for you, and a few prayers to St. Dymphna wouldn’t hurt either.

I’m glad I’m not alone in my feelings. That makes me feel a little better. Yes, I am on medication. I don’t know if this is the right cocktail for me. I’ve been going through this guinea pig phase for a year now. Blah.
Thank you so much for the prayers. I’ll keep you in my prayers, as well.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I sympathize with you completely. Reminds me of the “thorn in my side, an agent of Satan” of which St. Paul writes. I, for one, am about as outgoing and spontaneous as Bilbo Baggins.

Granted, this world is full of stupid people. You just have to get over it.

The worst part of it is that you often can’t tell someone they are being obnoxious without looking like an a-hole. You have to choose between politeness and honesty. We all have those days where anyone who crosses us will end up offended, injured, or dead . Prayers headed your way.

Yes. And my feelings are always written on my face. Lol. My mom was thankful for that when I was growing up, I couldn’t lie to her. It doesn’t help in the real world though.

 

[1newcatholic]

I’ve contemplated where to put this and I figured that this is the best spot.

I really don’t care for most people. I can become aggravated easily and I have aggressive behavior. These symptoms are due to my mental illness, I also know that I shouldn’t take out these feelings on others. I just can’t help but I just don’t like people. They annoy me. Like, I what to scream just to let out frustration. I deal with my people disliking feelings. I can hang out with people, but sometimes I just can’t handle the sight of obnoxious people. Obnoxiousness varies, sometimes people can be less obnoxious than other times.

Anyway, I know I shouldn’t have these feelings. We are all children of God. I just don’t understand why some/most people, depending on the day, drive me nuts. I really don’t know what I need to do about this.

I don’t think it’s just your mental illness–peoples be stupid sometimes.

 

[Belshazzar]

If you have been offended or hurt by someone in the past, forgive them. It also might help to do charitable deeds for others with no expectation of reward or even a pat on the back. We often feel disappointed in people because we feel unappreciated by them. Steer clear from negative individuals as much as you can and above all, learn to love yourself. Once you cut yourself some slack, you’ll find it much easier to love others and accept them as they are, even the most obnoxious ones! When you feel like screaming at everyone, laugh at the folly of this world instead. And don’t buy into this idea that just because you may not like someone, the feeling is always mutual. While I don’t know you personally, I happen to know that more people love you and care about you than you’re aware of.

People are always going to fall short of our expectations of them. Acquire a love of humility. Then you’ll never be disappointed!

 

[ServusHumilis]

I’ve contemplated where to put this and I figured that this is the best spot.

I really don’t care for most people. I can become aggravated easily and I have aggressive behavior. These symptoms are due to my mental illness, I also know that I shouldn’t take out these feelings on others. I just can’t help but I just don’t like people. They annoy me. Like, I what to scream just to let out frustration. I deal with my people disliking feelings. I can hang out with people, but sometimes I just can’t handle the sight of obnoxious people. Obnoxiousness varies, sometimes people can be less obnoxious than other times.

Anyway, I know I shouldn’t have these feelings. We are all children of God. I just don’t understand why some/most people, depending on the day, drive me nuts. I really don’t know what I need to do about this.

Tell me about it. I’m not sure I’d acknowledge any sort of label placed upon me by a doctor though; I’m just how God made me.

 

[boomerang]

I’ve contemplated where to put this and I figured that this is the best spot.

I really don’t care for most people. I can become aggravated easily and I have aggressive behavior. These symptoms are due to my mental illness, I also know that I shouldn’t take out these feelings on others. I just can’t help but I just don’t like people. They annoy me. Like, I what to scream just to let out frustration. I deal with my people disliking feelings. I can hang out with people, but sometimes I just can’t handle the sight of obnoxious people. Obnoxiousness varies, sometimes people can be less obnoxious than other times.

Anyway, I know I shouldn’t have these feelings. We are all children of God. I just don’t understand why some/most people, depending on the day, drive me nuts. I really don’t know what I need to do about this.

It is your cross to bear. Ask our Lord to help you carry it graciously.

 

[afthomercy]

Kendra,
Have you tried auto-suggestion? Here’s a website that believes in working on the inside of the mind. Of course, first discuss with your therapist whether it is suitable for you.
selfhypnosismadeez.com/
The opening lines go:
“Self-Hypnosis–A Powerful Tool for Change. If you’re interested in creating change in your life, self-hypnosis is a self-help tool that can help you create change. And it’s a tool that anyone can learn to use. There’s enough information on this site to get a good grasp of the subject matter. You can learn hypnosis, learn about the powerful subconscious mind, and take our free self-hypnosis tutorial. The mp3s on this site are free to download…”

 

[ready]

I just don’t understand why some/most people, depending on the day, drive me nuts. I really don’t know what I need to do about this.

Forgive and pray a lot for the people who aggravate you. And pray for meekness and humility. God bless you.

 

[iamcatholic100]

I’ve contemplated where to put this and I figured that this is the best spot.

I really don’t care for most people. I can become aggravated easily and I have aggressive behavior. These symptoms are due to my mental illness, I also know that I shouldn’t take out these feelings on others. I just can’t help but I just don’t like people. They annoy me. Like, I what to scream just to let out frustration. I deal with my people disliking feelings. I can hang out with people, but sometimes I just can’t handle the sight of obnoxious people. Obnoxiousness varies, sometimes people can be less obnoxious than other times.

Anyway, I know I shouldn’t have these feelings. We are all children of God. I just don’t understand why some/most people, depending on the day, drive me nuts. I really don’t know what I need to do about this.

Don’t be hard on yourself. I struggle with getting along with people with difficult personalities too. Just ask God to give you the humility to love these people and ask God to heal any wounds that might have caused these people to act this way . And remember this: don’t take what they say and do personally, its just their personality. Hope everything works well for you.

 

[sallybutler]

Don’t be hard on yourself. I struggle with getting along with people with difficult personalities too. Just ask God to give you the humility to love these people and ask God to heal any wounds that might have caused these people to act this way . And remember this: don’t take what they say and do personally, its just their personality. Hope everything works well for you.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that God may have made them that way for a reason other than to annoy me

Doesn’t always work, but it does a lot of the times.

 

[iamcatholic100]

**

Sometimes I have to remind myself that God may have made them that way for a reason other than to annoy me

Doesn’t always work, but it does a lot of the times.

I also recall what Scott Hahn said at a Q and A session during his talk on Confession, and this is a paraphrase. He said that we personally can’t fix any one, and that that they can’t fix us; that is something that only God can do.

 

[Sunbreak]

Well, sometimes it just is hard to tolerate other people’s behavior. I don’t “suffer the fools gladly”. For example, just driving yesterday I saw yet another bicyclist go through a red light (very common in my area), a car pulling in front of me and then going slower than the speed limit, another car stopping traffice to make a left turn at an intersection with a well marked sign right up next to the traffic light saying no left turn (and there was a marked cop car right behind him that of course pulled him over right away). So, these are examples of regular everyday irritants. But none of us is perfect and what bothers one person doesn’t bother someone else at all.

 

[Mary_Ellen]

Hmmm, I probably could have posted that op myself. I can’t stand a lot of people, either, and I’m also on meds and in therapy. “Mean Mary_Ellen” comes out when people are too slow, too fast, act superior, act stupid, are too happy or chipper, make little mistakes or just irritate me for any number of other reasons. It’s why I don’t socialize with a whole lot of people - most of them drive me nuts. I have a very, very small number of friends because, for one reason, I don’t like how I feel when I’m with most people.

Sure, I’m working on this with my counselor but I also bring this to confession as I know some of it stems from my pride, perfectionism, and lack of humility and charity. I hold myself to very high standards and I expect other people to meet those standards, as well. When I fail - I’m hard on myself. When others fail - I, too, want to bonk 'em on the head or just further isolate myself from them so I don’t have to deal with them.

My advice to the OP is to ease up on others and on yourself. Pray for those who cross your path. If you don’t remember to pray when they’re in front of you, pray for them in the morning (“bless all those I will meet today”) or at night when you review your day ('those who I have met today") and ask God to help you see others as He sees them. Pray for humility, that you will come to truly know that you are not “better than everyone else” but that you are actually called to be a servant to all you meet. I frequently pray the Litany of Humility and I share it with you here, below.

Remember that while your illness may be a factor in how you are reacting to people there may be an element of sinfulness involved, too. It can be hard to figure out where the line is that divides the two. I bring specific situations and attitudes to Confession. When I’m confused about a particular episode I may mention “I’m not sure how much of such-and-such was due to my mental illness or to my own sinfulness.” I figure if the priest wants more details than that - he can ask. I have found that the graces found in frequent Confession have been very helpful in overcoming this basic bad attitude that I carry around with me.

Be at peace.

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed …
… deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of being rebuked …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …

That others may be loved more than I,
… Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

 

[Aloysium]

I’ve contemplated where to put this and I figured that this is the best spot.

I really don’t care for most people. I can become aggravated easily and I have aggressive behavior. These symptoms are due to my mental illness, I also know that I shouldn’t take out these feelings on others. I just can’t help but I just don’t like people. They annoy me. Like, I what to scream just to let out frustration. I deal with my people disliking feelings. I can hang out with people, but sometimes I just can’t handle the sight of obnoxious people. Obnoxiousness varies, sometimes people can be less obnoxious than other times.

Anyway, I know I shouldn’t have these feelings. We are all children of God. I just don’t understand why some/most people, depending on the day, drive me nuts. I really don’t know what I need to do about this.

“most”? That’s not good.

:twocents:
How would you feel if you met yourself?

:twocents:
People can be obnoxious. I attended a meeting last night where a good portion of the attendees were attempting to trump each other with their brilliance. All the excitement and hubris jangled my nerves, but I actually did learn some new things. Had there been more peace, some quiet space in the meeting where I wouldn’t have felt I would be forcing myself on the group, I would have contributed some fairly interesting perspectives. Again, those particular individuals monopolizing the event, appeared not interested. So, the bottom line is that I got the better deal; all some got was to hear themselves speak and to feel important. On the other hand maybe it’s just me feeling bullied. Maybe it wasn’t anything bad, just being excited about what they had to say and not caring and oblivious to what others had to say. A little rude I suppose, but that’s it. Feeling slighted and overlooked in the circumstances appears to stem from my own pride.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Hmmm, I probably could have posted that op myself. I can’t stand a lot of people, either, and I’m also on meds and in therapy. “Mean Mary_Ellen” comes out when people are too slow, too fast, act superior, act stupid, are too happy or chipper, make little mistakes or just irritate me for any number of other reasons. It’s why I don’t socialize with a whole lot of people - most of them drive me nuts. I have a very, very small number of friends because, for one reason, I don’t like how I feel when I’m with most people.

Sure, I’m working on this with my counselor but I also bring this to confession as I know some of it stems from my pride, perfectionism, and lack of humility and charity. I hold myself to very high standards and I expect other people to meet those standards, as well. When I fail - I’m hard on myself. When others fail - I, too, want to bonk 'em on the head or just further isolate myself from them so I don’t have to deal with them.

My advice to the OP is to ease up on others and on yourself. Pray for those who cross your path. If you don’t remember to pray when they’re in front of you, pray for them in the morning (“bless all those I will meet today”) or at night when you review your day ('those who I have met today") and ask God to help you see others as He sees them. Pray for humility, that you will come to truly know that you are not “better than everyone else” but that you are actually called to be a servant to all you meet. I frequently pray the Litany of Humility and I share it with you here, below.

Remember that while your illness may be a factor in how you are reacting to people there may be an element of sinfulness involved, too. It can be hard to figure out where the line is that divides the two. I bring specific situations and attitudes to Confession. When I’m confused about a particular episode I may mention “I’m not sure how much of such-and-such was due to my mental illness or to my own sinfulness.” I figure if the priest wants more details than that - he can ask. I have found that the graces found in frequent Confession have been very helpful in overcoming this basic bad attitude that I carry around with me.

Be at peace.

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed …
… deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of being rebuked …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …

That others may be loved more than I,
… Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

I can relate to this post a lot. I have ADD which makes me defensive of my personal space, distracted by noises and lights that others don’t seem to notice, etc. And more grumpy and short-fused a lot of the time. Driving is sometimes a trigger area but I have brought my issues there to Confession and over the years seen improvement. Right now I’m trying to just give to God as many irritations as I can - try to get some humor or “in the grand scheme of things what does it matter” perspective. This year of Our Lord 2014 has seen big trials in my life and the lives of people I’m close to. I think that has helped me to see and be able to let go of more of the trivial things than I’ve ever been able to before. But the key is prayer - I couldn’t achieve this on my own efforts alone.

Gratitude is another good thing - I like this song by Josh Groban “Thankful”: joshgroban.com/node/827656

 

[pensmama87]

Kendra, I can relate. I do not have mental illness but I do have anxiety from time and time and I get really, really impatient with people, even people that I care about.

You mentioned meds so I am assuming you receive counseling on a fairly regular basis, too. Could this be something that could be addressed there? I think the advice here is great, too, but a counselor could give you tips for slowing down, addressing your emotions early before they get out of control, and for ways of communicating with people that respects them but still gets across your needs. (I mention that last one because I know I struggle with the tendency to expect people to mindread what I want, because I expect it to be obvious, and it’s not.)

It’s also not wrong to not want to be with people all of the time. I notice I get more impatient the longer I am in big social situations. Going to the store is more annoying now because of all the holiday shoppers. There are more people and they’re making specific purchases on a deadline, so they’re stressed too. Drivers are more aggressive. In many areas of the country, the weather is less than ideal, which makes people grumpy. By all means, figure out how to make do with the situations you have to, but a big part of dealing is probably going to be just minimizing exposure to those situations in the first place. And after Christmas, it will probably settle down a lot, which will help you handle it better, too.