I don't pray because I get nothing out of it

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scapularkid8

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I’ve prayed my whole life. I’ve never had a problem, until now. My problem is that I’m not praying and life is no different from when I was praying more…that’s what scares me.

I feel like I don’t get anything out of prayer. I never seem to see the results. This sounds increadibly selfish and I feel like I should know better, but I’m just disappointed in myself. I don’t feel any resentment toward God…just me. I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like a child who misbehaved and is now being given “the silent treatment” by the dad.

I’m stuck. Maybe the supposed “desert” I’m in has finally won. I can’t find water anywhere. I’m dying. Help!

I can’t believe my faith in prayer has become so weak. I’m disappointing myself by admitting this, but it’s the truth. I need to be honest and admit that I’m not praying lately because I don’t get anything out of it. And when I do, it’s usually a feeling and I shun it aside saying “oh, that’s just my imagination” or “oh, that’s just me trying to make myself feel good, that’s not true consolation from God.”

I’m so confused.
 
I think you may just have finally discovered that prayer isn’t primarily about asking for things. It’s about lots of other things too - thanksgiving, adoration and worship, or just communication (meaning you talk and you listen, you don’t just question and demand).

You do remember to pray and thank God that you’re alive and kicking, don’t you? That you have food, shelter, clothing - so many lack these things? That you even have working digits and a working brain with which to communicate on these boards?

If you have, then your prayers have been heard. Sure, the things will still be there even if you don’t remember to thank God for them but what sort of rude spoiled-rotten person forgets to thank people for their gifts? Especially when they’ve been as generous as God has?

In short - of course my life is different when I don’t pray. Not because anything around me’s changed, but because I am different when I don’t pray - less generous, less kind, less mindful of others, less thankful and awe struck
 
I have a few suggestions for you. Try praying in a different way than usual. If you usually say the rosary, try being spontaneous in prayer (and visa-versa). Read a book. Pray for others–I mean people you don’t even know and you know you will never know for sure if your prayer helped them. Do whatever you have to do to keep your attention off yourself. Confess your problem to a priest. Join a group at church (not a prayer group). Volunteer with a charitable organization; I mean help others in a group situation.
Many great saints had difficulty in prayer. St. Therese felt she was left aside by the Lord. Mother Teresa of Calcutta had such a long period of dryness. What made these people saints? They never gave up! Often they had to force themselves to go on. Often, it is an act of will–as in, “I get nothing and I don’t know if You even hear me, but here I am Lord.”
My prayers with you…
 
If you’re not “getting” anything out of your prayer life, then your spiritual life is probably coming on just fine.

You say that you are being selfish, but think about how much praise and glory you are giving God by your selfless act of prayer.

Keep praying. Keep struggling.

Two things I would recommend is praying the Psalms (In the Divine Office?) and reading the *Dark Night of the Soul * by St. John of the Cross.

JD
 
“getting something out of it” in regard to prayer and other spiritual practices is characteristic of the earlier stages of spiritual life, the honeymoon period. If by “getting something out of it” you mean emotional consolation, a feeling of connection with God and with others, signs that prayers have been heard and answered, feeling close to God etc., this becomes rarer as the soul matures, and are never the goal or end of prayer. You may not yet be ready to read the Dark Night in its entirety but the first 2 chapters, which warn beginners (those who have already undergone initial conversion and are well on the path to spiritual growth) what to expect. First and foremost is loss of consolation in prayer (including “I don’t get anything out of Mass” or “I am not being fed” type feelings). John of the Cross, like other spiritual masters warn that while God withdraws sensible consolations in order to strengthen the soul in His own way, Satan exploits the sense of emptiness for his own purposes, and convinces us that it is useless to pray or attend Mass unless “we get something out of it”. Like married love, which is not proven until the tough times, spiritual love also has its honeymoon with lots of assurances and consolations and closeness, but also has its times of darkenss, separateness, confusion, loneliness and feelings of abandonment. the love is proven when it sticks through those times, not proven in the good time.

The solution is given by all the great spiritual writers, be faithful, in prayer, in Mass participation, in observance of the commandments, in charity to neighbor. Love that is “just a second hand emotion” is the way the world defines love. God wishes to teach the soul the deeper way of love, and the soul cannot learn this as long as it remains in the milk and cookies phase. At some point, God will lead the soul through the bread and water phase, and the desert dryness phase, for the soul’s own good.
 
Try reciting the “Our Father” (Lord’s Prayer) very slooooooooowly and meditate on each thought.
Thy will be done…just what does that mean to you? Are you telling Our Lord that whatever He has planned for you today is His present for you. It may be challenging or a piece of cake but whatever His will is, you will accept.

Forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us…what does that mean to you?
That can be a toughie! Every day you will experience people either inadvertently or purposely hurting you. But, you also are either inadvertently or purposely hurting others each day. People are like the sand in the oyster because they are helping to purify each other here on earth. Thank God for the daily irritations that are helping to shine us up for heaven!
 
Prayer can just be you being silent in the presence of the Lord. God is quiet and mysterious. There can be spiritual growth by just sitting before the Lord adoring and thanking Him. Prayer is a gift from the Holy Spirit. God aks us to totally be dependant on Him and He asks us to trust Him in all things.

You might say this prayer while quietly resting in God’s presence “You are God. You are all. I adore you. I love you.”

Blessings
 
Sometimes I do this and begin with “Be still and know that I am LORD”, but then my mind wanders and I feel bad that I got distracted. I guess it just takes practice.
 
I find that when praying gets dry for me I pick up my Journal and write down prayers, not the traditional ones, just the ones in my heart, this helps me stay focused, or you may do it as a letter form to Jesus, Mary or God the Father. Just a suggestion. God BLess.🙂
 
CatholicCajun said:
I find that when praying gets dry for me I pick up my Journal and write down prayers, not the traditional ones, just the ones in my heart, this helps me stay focused,
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This sounds like a neat idea. Kinda like a modern day Psalm!
 
It’s really great praying when we get something out of it, but when we don’t then we start to wonder why on earth we are doing it, what happens is we start to lose direction. Prayer takes work and perseverance.

It’s like when you are at school and you are studying a subject you really like, those times are great and you enjoy it, but when you study a subject you’re not so keen on, those times aren’t so great but you study them and mess about a bit during lesson and get distracted and lose direction and then, in time, when you’ve left school you find out you actually wished you listened and have developed an interest in the subject years later and have forgotten all you knew back then and worse still you really wished you knew something about it you realise you have missed a chunk of knowledge you wished you now possessed.

Or it’s like when you are baking a cake, the mixing part is fun, the putting it in the oven is fun, licking the bowl is fun, but then comes the drab bit that we don’t feel we get anything out of, washing the dishes and utensils and putting them away and waiting by the oven smelling the great smell and having to wait for it to cook, but in the end out comes a great cake and we’re back to the fun of eating it!

Prayer isn’t dissimilar to this, there are highs and lows, times when we do get a great deal out of prayer and times when it appears we don’t get anything out of it, that’s not what is going on. We always get something out of prayer its just that we do not always perceive it and we don’t always perceive it because God works in this way for our benefit.

If we clean the dishes and utensils, next time we go to bake a cake we have clean stuff to work with, we keep things running smoothly, in prayer if we persevere even in the apparant low times we are being formed for our next great leap in the prayer life by God and so when the high comes we are prepared for it. Prayer is a constant work and preparation for being fully transformed to the likeness of Christ Jesus.

I cannot say if this is or is not the Dark Night of the Soul, people go trough dry periods in prayer and have not entered the Dark Night of the Soul.

All we need do is keep praying constantly. If it’s hard to make alot of prayers make short prayers like if you see a great sunset, say ‘Thank you Jesus’ and if you listen to some great music you like, say ‘Thank you Jesus’ and when you look at your mother being kind to you say ‘Thank you Jesus and I love you’.

Don;t forget everything you do is a prayer, so offer all your work and rest to Jesus and tell Him thank you very often.

Pray and persevere in prayer and don’t worry yourself; Jesus is always with you.🙂

In the Living Prayer of my life.
 
scapularkid8 said:
I’ve prayed my whole life. I’ve never had a problem, until now. My problem is that I’m not praying and life is no different from when I was praying more…that’s what scares me.

I feel like I don’t get anything out of prayer. I never seem to see the results. This sounds increadibly selfish and I feel like I should know better, but I’m just disappointed in myself. I don’t feel any resentment toward God…just me. I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like a child who misbehaved and is now being given “the silent treatment” by the dad.

I’m stuck. Maybe the supposed “desert” I’m in has finally won. I can’t find water anywhere. I’m dying. Help!

I can’t believe my faith in prayer has become so weak. I’m disappointing myself by admitting this, but it’s the truth. I need to be honest and admit that I’m not praying lately because I don’t get anything out of it. And when I do, it’s usually a feeling and I shun it aside saying “oh, that’s just my imagination” or “oh, that’s just me trying to make myself feel good, that’s not true consolation from God.”

I’m so confused.
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Sometimes, praying for ourselves, doesn’t change things outwardly…but surely you feel different (more at peace perhaps?) inwardly. And if not, praying for others will surely help them…and cause you to take the focus off of yourself…your own intentions, and pretty soon…you will feel the effects of your prayers.
 
scapularkid8 said:
but then my mind wanders and I feel bad that I got distracted. I guess it just takes practice.
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Ah, I would imagine that guilt to be part of the problem, right there. It’s an all too familiar problem, for me. And I also know what it’s like to feel like you’re lost in the wasteland. But take heart, things get better eventually; you just can’t give up.

My prayers are with you tonight.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight
 
I’ve looked into Celtic Spirituality lately. It takes the philosophy that God reveals Himself in all of His Creation and is always near. It also stresses that all time is sacred and as such, all time is fit for prayer. Using this philosophy I think I can see a purpose and beauty in my prayer rather than the ritualistic approach I’ve been taking lately.
 
  1. Have you tried offering that very dryness you feel in prayers to Our Lord as to unite your “darkened hour” with that of His darkest hour, how dry and desolated He felt, and how He responded. Have you meditate on it? If you could comtemplate on Our Lord’s Passion long enough, you will see that every bit of His suffering is in union with that of the suffering of humanity. Only then will you see your suffering as only a shadow of His, and the light of His infinite love might strike your heart and soul. Try it and you’ll see. Also, try offering it up as a sacrifice for a particular intention, for someone else in the same situation, for example.
  2. Read the Scripture, particularly the Gospel and meditate on the message of Our Lord. (my hint: actuality symbolizes spirituality to some degree)
:gopray:
 
I think in my pride, I’ve left the Passion (and more specifically, the Crucifixion) behind in my devotions because I wanted to find something less…I don’t know, common. Now I’m realizing that the Crucifixion is the apex of human salvation and suffering. I will try to meditate upon the Passion. Thanks.

"(my hint: actuality symbolizes spirituality to some degree) " I’ll need another hint. This isn’t making sense to me.
 
“Actuality symbolizes spirituality to some degree.” I guess what I meant was application to reality.

For example, when Our Lord prayed on the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” What did He mean by that? This is what I got out, sometimes we react the way we do because, according to our limited knowledge, we think we know best. Those who persecuted Christ was in darkness and they could not see the truth in that darkness; they were driven by emotions (contempt), and through contempt arised false judgement. Imagine if these people instantly come face to face with God and clearly see their miserable sinful state, how would they react? I would say, similar to those of Judas’. Christ knew this and that is why, out of mercy, he intercede for them (with hope that in time they may see the light and be converted).

:bible1:
 
scapularkid8 said:
I think in my pride, I’ve left the Passion (and more specifically, the Crucifixion) behind in my devotions because I wanted to find something less…I don’t know, common. Now I’m realizing that the Crucifixion is the apex of human salvation and suffering. I will try to meditate upon the Passion. Thanks.

.
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mind if I copy this and paste in the back of my prayerbook?
 
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