I don't see how I can believe in the Church anymore

[Neithan]

First of all, I would not recommend them anything. I would listen to them, and what they say. I believe they understand their own sufferings better than most people will.

OK, I appreciate that. I’ve read your posts here and empathize; I hope that at least some day you’ll recover a reverence for the Eucharist, and not as a means to an end. God bless.

 

[leonhardprintz]

OK, I appreciate that. I’ve read your posts here and empathize; I hope that at least some day you’ll recover a reverence for the Eucharist, and not as a means to an end. God bless.

I am in good spirits. People’s comments here have been ‘food for thought’ and a good perspective. I maintain a good comradery, online at least, with my Catholic friends and I know of a good spiritual advisor I will visit down the road to get a much deeper guidance in this matter.

I know I sound discouraging, but people shouldn’t be discouraged from reading this. I had a need to be honest about this. What I’ve tried, and how empty and fruitless the actions have been.

Perhaps, indeed, a new approach to Catholic spirituality is one that I need. At any rate I will explore that at some point when I feel confident about it again.

Very likely not this year, probably not next year, but its on the spiritual todo list.

 

[YoungCatholicGuy]

Have you ever attended Catholic Charismatic prayer meetings? A large number of people find deliverance and rejuvenated life serving with the Holy Spirit through this form of catholic spirituality

 

[Lea101]

Didn’t read everything so I apologize for any repetitive advice.

From a more secular pov…how’s your mental health generally? Any unresolved issues? Any triggers. Some people fall into sin because of feelings of loneliness or insecurity. If there’s any issues here, feel free to get help.

Also, how would you rate your self control in general? If you’re unable to stick to a diet, or resist the urge to snooze etc, it’s no wonder why you lack self control in certain areas of your life as well. Being able to resist gratification is generally an important cognitive skill, so try to train control in areas in your life. In a healthy way of course.

Also feel free to reward/punish yourself. No, not in a violent way. If you fall, avoid sweets/junk food until you get to confession. Or a specific period (3 days). If you don’t fall in a period of time, treat yourself. This works differently for everyone obviously, but it can be sometime you can try to do

Also pick up new activities. Try something new. It gets your mind off stuff. Easier said than done, but it helps ‘fasting’ go on smoother.

 

[leonhardprintz]

Have you ever attended Catholic Charismatic prayer meetings?

My spiritual advisor was Charismatic Catholic, and I also frequently attended those prayer meetings while participating in the youth group. It was an enjoyable time, though I prefer other approaches to Catholic spirituality.

 

[leonhardprintz]

Didn’t read everything so I apologize for any repetitive advice.

Not at all, I’m happy that people come with advice. Many things that have been said have come under consideration, though they’ll probably have to stew for a long time in my head.

From a more secular pov…how’s your mental health generally?

Excellent now that I’m no longer under that burden. I am not lonely, I have many friends, and I’ve dated more than once. I also have a good social life with my colleagues and my family.

Also, how would you rate your self control in general? If you’re unable to stick to a diet, or resist the urge to snooze etc, it’s no wonder why you lack self control in certain areas of your life as well.

I’ve had issues with that a while ago, but ever since I quitted the whole “never masturbate” thing, I can finally sleep. If I feel the need, I do so without shame and then I can sleep. If I don’t do it, I can’t sleep at all, or get only a few hours of sleep very poor sleep.

Now I sleep regularly 10pm - 6am, and I don’t snooze. I get out of bed immediately. A trait I’ve inherited from my father according to my mother.

While I was an active Catholic I didn’t have much of a job, so money was strained leading me to eat cheap food of poor quality. Now that I’ve got good fulltime job as a consultant, I eat very well and much better.

Also feel free to … punish yourself.

I know what you mean, and I read the rest you wrote elaborating this.

But no.

Never. Again. Period. End of sentence.

If God wants me to restart doing anything even remotely comparable to that, He will have to send an angel, while I’m awake, and make it supernaturally, abundantly clear to me that I need to do so.

I will accept that not happening, as a sign that I shouldn’t. I have every natural reason to do so.

Also pick up new activities. Try something new. It gets your mind off stuff. Easier said than done, but it helps ‘fasting’ go on smoother.

I did think of that, and I certainly tried everything from book reading, to computer games. Anything that could occupy my mind, and keep me distracted.

Never worked unfortunately.

 

[Lea101]

Never. Again. Period. End of sentence.

And that’s fine. Reinforcement/punishment is a normal tactic to prevent or encourage behavior, but when it’s done by someone themselves, it can affect whatever problems they have. I personally don’t do anything with food because I know I’ll spiral.

I did think of that, and I certainly tried everything from book reading, to computer games. Anything that could occupy my mind, and keep me distracted.

I don’t mean to do these activities while you’re in that state of mind, but to keep yourself occupied so you won’t end up finding yourself with that desire. Pretty difficult to experience that urge when you’re painting or building something, for example.

At the end of the day, know this: you’re not a unicorn. Many men have come and gone before you. Some of them were successful. The most crucial thing is your attitude. If you start off with a very self defeating ‘why would God do this to me/why is this a sin/this is so unfair’ attitude, you won’t succeed. This can be applied to anything you’re trying to kick as well.

Perhaps, indeed, a new approach to Catholic spirituality is one that I need. At any rate I will explore that at some point when I feel confident about it again.

Very likely not this year, probably not next year, but its on the spiritual todo list.

Do this as soon as possible. Start slowly, read some new material. Watch some videos etc.

 

[Nicky777]

Please try to understand… Men are weak in there human nature and in this century and thw last one satan has ruled over the world. Just look around you. But the Church i.e. the bride of Christ is Holy. So don’t be discouraged. Pray for our Pope and religious. They need our prayers now in this spiritual war. Remember. Christ said that the gates of hell will NOT prevail against it. In the meantime check out the traditional mass i.e. the Latin mass. I fins that one can be profoundly rewarded ans the reverence is incomparable. In crease your prayer life and frequent the sacraments as often as possible. But don’t abandon the truth. That’s just what satan wants. Be of good courage and fight the good fight. You’ll be rewarded in the end. May God bless you. I’m praying for you.

 

[tomo_pomo]

You have put a lot of effort in escaping the sin instead of Loving God and receiving his Love.

 

[Windmill]

leonhardprintz,

Thank you for being so open about this topic. I hope my Dr. Phil remarks weren’t too poorly received. Tone of voice is so difficult to convey on the internet, and we are easily tempted to assume the absolute worst of intentions. I hope my remarks were received with the benefit of the doubt. This is something that I have dealt with in my life and am starting to see the end of the tunnel after a couple of decades of struggle. I guess I wanted to say that there is hope out there if you ever choose to revisit it.

Peace.

 

[leonhardprintz]

Naturally. I don’t mind people offering advice or making suggestions, but I’ve had my share of bad diagnosis from well-meaning people and rather than doing good it only introduced harm. So I wanted to alert you to it. Its clear to me that you didn’t mean ill.

I am not without sin in that when having advised others. We understand ourselves so well, and we can often tend to think of other people’s foibles in terms of our owns.

I’m very glad to hear that you’re having success in your journey.

 

[leonhardprintz]

In the meantime check out the traditional mass i.e. the Latin mass.

Thank you for your response. I did go to an mass in the Extraordinary Form. Its not quite right calling it the Latin mass, as the Ordinary Form can and is offered in Latin with Gregorian chant in many places, in a very somber and glorious fashion. I went to both. I’m also blessed with having a bishop who celebrates according to this form of the latin rite monthly.

The local parish isn’t up to those specs, but that is not really an issue anymore, since with the new job I’ve gotten enough money to make a sojourn to the capitol city every month or so.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Has this person’s private revelations been approved by his Bishop?

 

[Nicky777]

I’m happy for you. I foynd myself in tge same situation and didn’t know it until I went to the traditional mass. Now there’s no place I’d rather be. My prayer life has improved greatly and I am now studying to be an apologist. God bless and pray for me.

 

[Gab123]

Has this person’s private revelations been approved by his Bishop?

Yes. His apostolate has ecclesiastical approval and is overseen by the bishop of Bogota, Colombia. He’s been featured in Vatican Insider and his mission is worldwide. Here’s a picture of him on the left (much older than in the video above and without a beard) and a link to his English site:
http://www.marinorestrepo.com/about-us.html

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

 

[leonhardprintz]

I would get holy water and blessed salt and sprinkle your room, and begin to fill your mind with good stuff to crowd out the bad.

Thank you for the link to the man who had those visions. Unfortunately - other than adding the decadal prayer to my rosary - I am highly dubious about the reality of visions in general, and even in specific cases I find them odd. I prefer the scriptures and tradition.

As for holy salt, water, etc, it did nothing.

As I’ve written earlier, I’ve done a lot of praying, read a lot of books, had blessed “everything”, daily communion when I could, statues, relics, prayers to say before leaving and entering apartment, prayers in the morning and evening, blessed salt, holy water, my confirmation candle out and visible, statue of the Virgin Mary visible next to my monitor, etc… etc… etc…

Completely ineffectual. I only kept getting more and more sick. More and more depressed. And my habit was as strong as ever. God was not going to give me any aid to change my habit. It seems He preferred me being miserable, sick and masturbating, than becoming a saint.

And then I stopped.

After a few months of reconnecting with friends I had pushed away (following the advise of a spiritual advisor and people online, and even some saints, to remove unholy friendships), and then just treating myself with acceptance… I got better. Not quickly, but slowly and surely.

And I finally began to be able to sleep at night regularly, as I wasn’t fighting a nightly struggle not to masturbate. Now if I felt the need when I was about to sleep, I just did it, felt good about it and slept like a baby.

My health improved further.

I finally was so well again that I could get a job at reduced hours. 25 hours per week. But that increased as I got even better. 30 hours per week. 32 hours per week. And now finally 40 hours per week.

Now that I wasn’t plowing the internet for help in getting rid of masturbation, but accepted it as a normal and healthy act for any young adult, I could start reading other stuff. So I did self-studies in my field of business. Began reading books. And then I got promoted.

I began to eat right, exercise more. Be more happy and positive overall, because I was in fact more happy and positive overall. I cleaned up my apartment in the style of Marie Kondo and felt even happier.

Second promotion!

The Church made me sick, leaving made me healthy and full of happiness. I left it because I wanted to survive and not commit suicide. I still want to be sure I did the right thing, which is, among other reasons, why I’m here now and then.

As I’ve told people, I do intend to sit down with a spiritual advisor. Someone I know and trust. A good, pious, orthodox yet common-sense filled priest (which I need more right now than “Holy Spirit” filled), whom I’ve been an altar server for at times.

My big challenge is finding out how this could be, and how I can enter without becoming sick again.

Until I know that, I believe I have every natural reason to stay away from the Catholic Church.

 

[Gab123]

I still want to be sure I did the right thing, which is, among other reasons, why I’m here now and then.

As I’ve told people, I do intend to sit down with a spiritual advisor. Someone I know and trust. A good, pious, orthodox yet common-sense filled priest (which I need more right now than “Holy Spirit” filled), whom I’ve been an altar server for at times.

The fact that the thought of you staying or leaving the Church is present in your mind, is that deep down inside there is something that is still unsettled.

Addictions are hard to break, but we have to want to break them for the right reasons in order for us to make any progress. Thus, the final thing I will recommend is that when you go to bed at night, listen to this short talk by one of the greatest spiritual directors you could find. Listen to this every night leading up to Holy Week when you go to bed, followed by 1 Hail Mary prayer said, not from your mind, but from your heart. This should point you in the right direction as to your next move. I will pray for you:
Spiritual Direction Audio

 

[leonhardprintz]

Addictions are hard to break, but we have to want to break them for the right reasons in order for us to make any progress.

My motivation was that I love God, and I believed in the Catholic Church when it taught that masturbation was gravely sinful. Therefore since I wished to receive the Eucharist, I wished to stay pure.

If I didn’t have the right motivation, no Catholic ever did or ever will.

Thus, the final thing I will recommend is that when you go to bed at night, listen to this short talk by one of the greatest spiritual directors you could find. Listen to this every night leading up to Holy Week when you go to bed, followed by 1 Hail Mary prayer said, not from your mind, but from your heart. This should point you in the right direction as to your next move. I will pray for you:
Spiritual Direction Audio

Thank you for the advice, but you don’t seem to be listening. Especially not what I’ve written about how many little pious acts I did. Since you’re not listening, I’ll kindly ask you to refrain from offering anymore links like that in this thread.

If I am to add even one iota to a prayer I already say, it will be at the firm insistence from a spirital advisor after I’ve said no to doing it multiple times.

 

[Nicky777]

You better fight the urge to masturbate or else your soul Will be doomed for all Eternity. Stop being selfish and read your scripture and some lives of the Saints. Many are called not All are called. So if not all are called and only few are chosen, where does that leave you and me? Meditate on it receive the Sacraments as often as possible. God love you. I’ll be praying

 

[cmac2]

You are not alone in this, my friend. I’ve struggled with purity and so have a lot of people. It’s a fight worth fighting because you and I can recognize the beauty that God gave us with our sexuality. It’s nothing to be ashamed of when put it in the right order. Frankly, I wouldn’t listen to people, priests and therapists included, who say you should just accept this sin and nothing will change. That is despair and it only takes a road to dropping virtue altogether. I know this from experience. Up until a couple months ago, I was sinning almost every night. It seemed that I wouldn’t stop. So, here are some things that might help that’s done wonders for me:

1. Remove any source of temptation. I got rid of so many books and cut off illicit websites. This might be harder for you, but unless a home computer is necessary, you shouldn’t keep it. If you struggle with porn, as I was, it would be easier to get rid of the computer altogether. If you’re able to get around a safety net, so to speak, attempts to avoid certain websites becomes a moot point.
2. Breathe. It’s a lot easier to let go when you don’t agonize over every time you sin. It’s important that you recognize that you do as wrong, but it’s equally important to realize that you can also trust in God’s mercy. This step is harder than it seems, but agonizing and despairing over a particular sin leads to more despair. You can accept it for what it is, a sin, but don’t let the guilt over it obsess you.
3. Find other distractions. If you can’t get rid of your computer or if you need a supplement, find something else to do. If you feel temptation, go outside and take a deep breath. Ride a bike or some other excercise. Pick up a new hobby. Read a book, though it doesn’t have to be scripture or a life of a saint, it just has to be wholesome.
4. Talk to a priest outside confession. You can ask for a special blessing or even a minor exorcism to remove the obsession/addiction. Find a time outside confession so it doesn’t feel like you’re reopening a wound.
   And finally, 5) Turn to Our Mother of Sorrow. Ask her to reveal to you what the source of your obsession/addiction is and how to get rid of it. Ask for her intercession in matters of purity and let her do the work.
   I hope even some of this helps you. The struggle is real, but don’t give in to despair. That’s how vice and Satan wins. These are some of the things I’ve found that have worked for me. Hopefully these help you too. Please don’t give up just yet.