I don't see how I can believe in the Church anymore

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Right, but is that really relevant? I mean, if you aren’t Catholic in your own eyes, why does the fact that the Church thinks of you as Catholic, have relevance to your need to go to CAF for encouragement and support?

I really am trying to engage in good faith. Are you unsure about leaving?
 
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Aspidistraflyer said:
I really am trying to engage in good faith. Are you unsure about leaving?
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I’ll take your word for it. And of course I’m unsure. If I was certain in my actions I wouldn’t be on Catholic Answers Forum. I left out of nescessity and a desire to survive, and a lack of understanding about what I experienced. But you can’t base a sound life decision on that, so now that I’m feeling better I’m revisiting the decision, trying to come to a fuller understanding of it, and seeking people who’s opinion I respect who can give me new perspective.
 
laylow said:
Is that seriously how it works?
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I suggest you open a new thread somewhere about whether someone who has fully entered the fellowship of the Church, is considered a Catholic till the day they die.

I don’t want to make this thread a thread about that basic teaching.
 
leonhardprintz said:
I suggest you open a new thread somewhere about whether someone who has fully entered the fellowship of the Church, is considered a Catholic till the day they die.

I don’t want to make this thread a thread about that basic teaching.
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Sorry, you are correct…I do not want to derail this thread…carry on.
 
Of course, that should have occurred to me. I’m sorry about my confusion. 'I have a reputation as being a bit of ditz!

Also, where are you getting that the Church assures that we will always have the necessary faculties to resist the temptation to perform some action which is of a grave nature?

Do you have any sources you can cite?
 
Aspidistraflyer said:
Of course, that should have occurred to me. I’m sorry about my confusion. 'I have a reputation as being a bit of ditz!
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No worries. 🙂
Aspidistraflyer said:
Also, where are you getting that the Church assures that we will always have the necessary faculties to resist the temptation to perform some action which is of a grave nature?

Do you have any sources you can cite?
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Good point, but I’ve spent my daily internet forum time now. I might reply with this later tomorrow. Thank you for participating. 😄
 
I think that might be a big deal. And haha, yeah, you’ve been on here a while it seems, haha

Good luck in your search, and I’m praying!
 
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Your welcome!

Although temptation and sin comes from the enemy, I can understand that somethings are clinical and aren’t alway as easy as just not doing the sin. Take mental illness for an example. Sometimes things are happening within the body that can deeply affect how we feel or behave and I don’t think a lot of us Catholics realize that.

At least for me, I feel as a Catholic I am very self-critical and I tend to be quite harsh on myself. I think Catholics do have this similar reputation. We must remember that God Is merciful and with our surrender, he can heal our hearts. We just have to be willing to accept His love.

I advise that you do go see a doctor specifically about this issue that your suffering from. Just to make sure you are okay. Maybe they can offer you different medications or even therapies to help.

I also think attaining a spiritual director would do some wonders. Just being able to talk about your doubts and feeling on the faith. Someone who can help you hear God more clearly.

Praying for you! Don’t lose hope!
 
I cant say I’ve really been in your shoes, or that I can save your faith. Im not even practicing anymore for my own reasons.

However, besides my sympathy I have some advice. Relax.

Your actions show you love God. You put in the work. Much more than i ever did. Your faith is troubled because you actualy care. Most simply dont care too much.

Im a universalist when it comes to salvation. Im guessing your not. However, all the same id tell you to relax. The reason being that even if you believe that mortal sin condemns you to eternal separation from god, that requires you to commit mortal sin.

All I can go off of is what you have written here. I don’t know you. However, based off of what you wrote The ability to meaningfully control your actions in this specific part of your life left your hands some time in the past. You’ve sought help. And you need more of it. Which, from what I read you seek with determination.

You love god. God loves you. He is going to save you. Don’t take yourself this seriously, He saves literal war criminals. So, relax and acknowledge your a bit messed up and keep walking forward.

I hope this helps you to keep going. If not, ignore what I wrote. God bless.
 
leonhardprintz said:
Though then I still need to understand why God wouldn’t help me. It would seem I needed even more help, not less. You don’t ask someone who’s so sick they can’t get out of bed to run a marathon. 😐

Its not something I’ve found a good answer for yet. But I know of some people well learned in moral theology who I can ask when I’m ready.
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Dedicate time to read the Bible, especially the New Testament. And realize that God will give you all the grace you need, but you have to do your part. Your problem is an addiction; the problem is when one starts making excuses and rationalizing sin…
 
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Yep said:
Im a universalist when it comes to salvation.
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The problem with universalism is that it is a lie, a terrible heresy. Do not be deceived; The devil is tricky. The great apostasy from the truth is that nobody goes to hell and that there is no such thing as mortal sin.
 
I know this has been covered by others… but I just wanted to add that it sounds like you have a legitimate addiction that could be medical in nature. God promises to give us the grace necessary to avoid mortal sin and to get to heaven. He doesn’t promise to remove all disease this side of heaven… some people are cured and others aren’t.
My grandma is a devout Protestant Christian. Now that she’s suffering from dementia, they caught her in bed with a man at the nursing home. I don’t know and don’t want to know what exactly they did, but even if it was sex, it was a direct result of her medical condition and inability to make rational decisions. God hasn’t healed her, but nor do I imagine God finds her guilty of sin. I can’t judge your situation, but if it is indeed an addition that is ultimately a medical / psychological issue, culpability is a variable. But you know all that.

Prayed for you.
 
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I don’t think you should give up on attending mass. I think that you have a very deep seated addiction and you were making yourself sick in your constant/obsessive struggle. That’s not to say that you should stop resisting it, but I do think you should be kinder to yourself. The church is full of sinners, and you don’t have to be perfect to be a part of it. Also, there is the issue of possibly having a reduced culpability due to the severity of your problem. The priest who was working with you before seems very kind and understanding, I think you should continue to seek his guidance, and just overall try a new approach to this that is kinder to yourself, and less obsessive. Definitely keep your friends, try new hobbies, and make an effort to maintain a good balance in your life. Struggling against sin is good, but it’s not good to get to a point where we become obsessive and physically ill from it. God definitely wants you in His Church, so there has got to be a better way.
 
If you were searching for a magic pill, thinking if I do x then y happens, you’re getting into the realm of superstition. God works in his own time, not on yours, not on any of your advice givers. Miracles do happen, my experience is they are small but powerful. As in, I’ve never seen a burning bush.

But I get it, as I am a convert from atheism, and I recognize atheist arguments. It’s unfortunate, that we live in a time where our views of God can be colored by a certain level of childishness.

The “God doesn’t give us what we can’t handle”, doesn’t seem helpful at all for anyone who has real life, chronic struggle. My brother would flip out if anyone said to him, his severely handicapped child was a blessing for him and God must of known that he could handle this challenge, otherwise he wouldn’t have it.

Yikes! We have to be careful to understand first that God doesn’t will bad things on us as a means to see what we can handle. God is with us, especially in our suffering. We only need to look at the Cross to see this.

I’m not going to pile more advise on you. I will say that I agree that you need to be accepting of yourself, to not be self judgmental. Judgment is up to God. We can only do our best and confess our sins.

The miracle I hope for one day, is the conversion of my family. I hope you can pray for my intention as I pray for yours.

Simplicity is my way, really. If I were doing all the devotions you listed I’d be exhausted.

And last, in these times of struggle, I always like St. Paul, who said God cleanses us with fire. And Blessed Oscar Romero, who said sometimes, God allows the things or people in our lives who are scourges, so that we may suffer with Jesus. And just one more, St. Francis, who said there is joy in suffering! Aren’t us Catholics a weird bunch. But suffering is never better explained.

I’m sorry your suffering is so great, and seems to be without relief. Don’t lose hope, as our Hope has a name, Jesus Christ. Rest in Him. God bless you on your journey and always.
 
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Gab123 said:
Masturbation is to engage in sexual activity with one’s own self, which is inherently a homosexual act, but the Bible speaks of It as the sin of Onan, and known as Onanism
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If masturbating is all it took to be considered a homosexual, then most men would be considered to be homosexuals since most of them have probably masturbated at least once in their life.
 
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@leonhardprintz
Hi, I’m new to the thread, and it is quite long. However, I can’t find if you’ve mentioned how long you’ve had this addiction? Also, how many years were you Catholic and were trying to stop? Some people it takes a very long time.

I mean, for alcoholics, many will continue to go to AA meetings and say “I’ve been sober for 30 years, 40 years”, etc. But they still go, because they’re still an alcoholic. They have achieved sobriety, but that doesn’t change the fact that they still have that addiction. Does that make sense?

I personally have been addicted to pornography for about 13 years now. I’ve been a practicing Catholic for just over 5 of those years. But, I left the Church, and have only recently come back, about a year ago now. I started to after just praying to God sometime in May of last year.

I hope you come back to the Church. The Church is full of addicts, sinners, and people who are struggling. “The Church is not a museum of saints, but a hospital for sinners”. You and I are like in the longterm care wards lol. Or would be if you came back 😜 And there’s really no shame there. Like I said, people in AA will say they’ve been sober for 30 years or something like that. Or they drank for 30 years. So, there’s never reason to lose hope. There’s never a point where you are beyond saving, and where you are beyond getting freed from your addiction by Jesus.
 
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leonhardprintz said:
But I never gained the ability to resist.
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If the Devil has a thousand poisons… Jesus has a thousand antidotes .

Sr. Josefa Menendez (1890-1923) -Jesus’ Message to the World of His Mercy for All

“I would like these [those living with sin] to understand that it is not the fact of being in sin that ought to keep them from Me. They must never think that there is no remedy for them, nor that they have forfeited for ever the love that once was theirs… No, poor souls, the God who has shed all His Blood for you has no such feelings for you!”

“It is My intention also, to show souls that I never refuse grace, even to those who are guilty of grave sin; nor do I separate them from the good souls whom I love with predilection. I keep them all in My Heart, that all may receive the help needed for their state of soul.” -Jesus to Sr. Josefa Menendez

Prayer to the Shoulder Wound of Jesus:

It is related in the annals of Clairvaux that St. Bernard asked Our Lord which was His greatest unrecorded suffering and Our Lord answered: “I had on My Shoulder, while I bore My Cross on the Way of Sorrows, a grievous Wound, which was more painful than the others and which is not recorded by men. Honor this Wound with thy devotion and I will grant thee whatsoever thou dost ask through Its virtue and merit. And in regard to all those who shall venerate this Wound, I will remit to them all their venial sins and will no longer remember their mortal sins.”

The Prayer

O Loving Jesus, meek Lamb of God, I a miserable sinner, salute and worship the most Sacred Wound of Thy Shoulder on which Thou didst bear Thy heavy Cross, which so tore Thy Flesh and laid bare Thy Bones as to inflict on Thee an anguish greater than any other Wound of Thy Most Blessed Body. I adore Thee, O Jesus most sorrowful; I praise and glorify Thee and give Thee thanks for this most sacred and painful Wound, beseeching Thee by that exceeding pain and by the crushing burden of Thy heavy Cross to be merciful to me, a sinner, to forgive me all my mortal and venial sins, and to lead me on towards Heaven along the Way of Thy Cross. Amen.
Imprimatur: Thomas D. Beven, Bishop of Springfield, Ma.

St. Faustina Divine Mercy Diary:

I desire trust from My creatures. Encourage souls to place great trust in My fathomless mercy. Let the weak, sinful soul have no fear to approach Me, for even if it had more sins than there are grains of sand in the world, all would be drowned in the unmeasurable depths of My mercy. (1059)

Say unceasingly the chaplet that I have taught you. Whoever will recite it will receive great mercy at the hour of death. Priests will recommend it to sinners as their last hope of salvation. Even if there were a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only once, he would receive grace from My infinite mercy. I desire that the whole world know My infinite mercy. I desire to grant unimaginable graces to those souls who trust in My mercy. (687)
 
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Ignatian discernment is fantastic, Read: ‘The Jesuit Guide to Almost Anything’

It is a method of thinking/ praying/ discerning/ reading the bible, To help discern with the Holy Spirit what are the root areas in your life from God/ from yourself/ from the bad spirit. And how to follow God ordinary daily life.

It is based on the writings of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, many free catholic podcasts or youtube videos are available on this topic too, and audio books on the audible app,
 
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