I don't think my marriage is Sacramental

[Colettine]

When I married, in the Catholic Church, as a Baptist to a Catholic man, I was contracepting, and had every intention to continue. I may also have considered divorce an option, because it was the example I’d seen as a child, and although I thought I was marrying permanently, I wouldn’t say I thought divorce was completely out of the question.

20 years later, I realize that this is grounds for an annulment.

Which, might make my marriage non-sacramental.

What do I do? Do I request a convalidation? Would a priest even consider it?

 

[buc_fan33]

When I married, in the Catholic Church, as a Baptist to a Catholic man, I was contracepting, and had every intention to continue. I may also have considered divorce an option, because it was the example I’d seen as a child, and although I thought I was marrying permanently, I wouldn’t say I thought divorce was completely out of the question.

20 years later, I realize that this is grounds for an annulment.

Which, might make my marriage non-sacramental.

What do I do? Do I request a convalidation? Would a priest even consider it?

You, a baptized Christian, were married in the Catholic Church, to a baptized Catholic. Your marriage is both valid and sacramental. Were there other issues that need repentance in order to more fully receive all of the sacramental graces the Lord wishes to give you and your spouse? yes. But, the Church always assumes a marriage is valid until proven otherwise, and if a valid marriage is between two baptized Christians, said marriage is also sacramental.

From what you describe in your post, there is no reason to investigate the validity of your marriage. Be at peace.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

You sinned in your past, as we all have done. But this does not make your marriage questionable. I am assuming that you two are still married and committed to each other. Look to the future and a closer relationship with Christ, not to the past.

 

[Beryllos]

The sacraments work by God’s power, which is greater than our human faults and failings:

CCC 1128: This is the meaning of the Church’s affirmation that the sacraments act ex opere operato (literally: “by the very fact of the action’s being performed”), i.e., by virtue of the saving work of Christ, accomplished once for all. It follows that “the sacrament is not wrought by the righteousness of either the celebrant or the recipient, but by the power of God.” From the moment that a sacrament is celebrated in accordance with the intention of the Church, the power of Christ and his Spirit acts in and through it, independently of the personal holiness of the minister [and here I note that the bride and groom are ministers as well as recipients of the Sacrament of Matrimony]. Nevertheless, the fruits of the sacraments also depend on the disposition of the one who receives them.

If one is not in a state of grace at the time of the Sacrament of Matrimony, I think one can make it right (and obtain the graces of that sacrament) with the help of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Peace be with you!

 

[WT1]

When I married, in the Catholic Church, as a Baptist to a Catholic man, I was contracepting, and had every intention to continue. I may also have considered divorce an option, because it was the example I’d seen as a child, and although I thought I was marrying permanently, I wouldn’t say I thought divorce was completely out of the question.

20 years later, I realize that this is grounds for an annulment.

Which, might make my marriage non-sacramental.

What do I do? Do I request a convalidation? Would a priest even consider it?

Don’t let him off that easy it’s your job to make to him suffer. It will bring him closer to Christ so it’s the decent thing to do.

 

[Regina7]

Don’t let him off that easy it’s your job to make to him suffer. It will bring him closer to Christ so it’s the decent thing to do.

Huh?

 

[Vico]

When I married, in the Catholic Church, as a Baptist to a Catholic man, I was contracepting, and had every intention to continue. I may also have considered divorce an option, because it was the example I’d seen as a child, and although I thought I was marrying permanently, I wouldn’t say I thought divorce was completely out of the question.

20 years later, I realize that this is grounds for an annulment.

Which, might make my marriage non-sacramental.

What do I do? Do I request a convalidation? Would a priest even consider it?

Sometimes people have doubts. There would have to be a positive act of the will to exclude an essential. If consent was invalid and not publicly known then it only has to be corrected privately.

I suppose you had doubts that you did not freely consent to lifelong and exclusive union, and granting conjugal right, and would accept any child that resulted, however you no longer have doubts.

 

[Thomas_White]

Who can know with complete certainty what the future will hold? The important thing is that so far as you could know at the moment of your marriage, you believed your marriage would be permanent. Beyond that, I’m sure a Catholic marriage is always considered sacramental until such time a marriage tribunal would declare it null. May your mind be at peace.

However, if this continues to be of serious concern for you, I would suggest discussing the issue with a priest, rather than letting it remain a concern.

 

[fred_conty]

I am going to be honest, it does look as tho you do have grounds for an anullment. However I think that if you do correct what would make it an anullment now, then I believe it would be a sacramental marriage.

I believe there is a lot to consider here, and I can understand your concern. You may wish to talk to a priest to see what he would recommend about this. It really isn’t good for you or the marriage to have open doubts about your marriage. The truth is better than to go on that way. The answers you receive on this sight may or may not be correct including mine. So resolve the doubt by talking to a canon lawyer by calling the bishop’s office(chancery office). Just say you would like to talk to a canon lawyer and that it is a personal matter. It would take just a few minutes of your time right over the phone.

God bless.