I don't understand my attraction to Catholicism

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Agastasa said:
I was raised in a Muslim household but in my teenage years, I’ve became a stern atheist. But even this fades away as I argued with more religious people. I’m open to any religion. Now, I’m a bit older, I want something more. I think I can see the importance of the transcendental even though I don’t really believe in it. Something about the aesthetics of Catholicism fascinates me. Normally, I don’t want to believe in Catholicism. It’s only when I’m in a really emotional state that I want to believe in it. Like when I’m really scared, angry, lonely, in ‘‘love’’ or even when I’m sexually aroused( I hope I don’t sound rude here). Otherwise, I’m satisfied with materialist outlook on the universe.

It’s really confusing for me.
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You reminded me of one of the more interesting responses to Atheism that I have come across (I am pretty sure it was a Catholic Answers broadcast).
Humans desire water, there is water.
Humans desire food, there is food.
Humans desire friends, there are folks with whom we can become friends.
Humans desire love, there are people with whom we can enter into a loving relationship.
It seems that for every desire there is at least the possibility of having the desire satiated by that object of the desire existing.
Many Atheists acknowledge the desire for God, they just do not find Him. But, does it really make sense that there is a desire for God present in Atheist and Theist alike and yet there is no God, no way to satiate this desire. Regardless of ones worldview, that God is the ONLY thing that we humans desire and that we humans can never embrace seems WRONG. Go find God!
Charity, TOm
 
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We all desire beauty, truth, justice and love. Jesus is where it is at.
 
I think your heart and emotions are leading you to something, the Catholic Church, that is deeply satisfying. Later, your mind and intellect will catch up and explain it to you.
 
My advice would be explore Christianity as a whole first.
Do you really want to be Christian?
Can you really believe that Jesus was the Son of God?
Emotion is useful to us but sometimes can lead us astray.
So balance this with reason. And of course faith.
I wouldn’t choose Catholicism solely on emotion, is what I’m trying to say.
 
I’m aware of Catholicism isn’t hostile towards science ( the Church even accepts evolution with a few important qualms) and it boosts a proud intellectual traditions in the world.
 
I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that a very large number of the greatest scientists through the last 2000 years have been Catholics. I made a list at one time, but I’ve forgotten much of it by now.
 
Volunteering is a perfect idea. That is exactly what you should do. Maybe you will meet some people that you connect with. They might even invite you to Mass with them. Follow where the Spirit is leading you. May God Bless you!
 
I’ll try. There is a church near my college that feeds the homeless. I’m kind of anxious. I keep thinking they might find me strange for some reason.
 
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