
The Mass said at SSPX/FSSP parishes is the
same Mass said for oh, about fifteen hundred years (with the exception of the addition of the name of St Joseph into the prayers to the saints). The TLM is valid and licit; the issue is with the licitness (I know that’s not a word) of the
bishops LeFebvre ordained, not with the liturgy he used. So much of the strife that has come out of and caused this strain between SSPX and Rome is because of the false notion that the New Mass is a translation of the Old. It is not. If someone is trying to tell you that it is a translation in any honest sense of the word, they are either ignorant or lying. I’m sorry if that seems mean, but you can read a translation of the Old Mass on the right-hand side of every page of the missal. You can compare it to the NO missal. There are differences in ideologies and emphasis as well as outright changes in what is being said. Whether this invalidates the
new Mass is beyond the scope of this thread, but it is one of the issues that SSPX (I can’t speak for other traditional communities or parishes or beyond my understanding of this one) is at the very least concerned about. As well they should be–any and every Catholic should be alarmed at the thought of actual changes being wrought to the Mass, if it is at all what the Catholic Church for all Christendom has taught it is.
The matter of veils is also another matter, but worth looking into. There is a very short book of two essays, easily read in an hour or two, which details the reasons two young ladies choose to wear their veils. (Sorry I can’t recall the title but it is available from Angelus Press.) It is not a subjugation of women. For those who like Scripture to bolster every act of the faith, the Bible does say a woman’s head should be covered, a man’s head should not, because a woman’s head uncovered would be her shame, and a man’s head covered would be his shame. I don’t see how a man asking his wife to wear a veil is an abuse or controlling.
I don’t know if anyone has mentioned it, but the Mass is supposed to be universal (being ‘catholic’ and all), so a difference in language does not essentially matter–the intent and action are the same all over the world and throughout time and eternity. It is not being performed for your benefit, but as a sacrifice pleasing to God and efficacious for mankind. We don’t need to understand it. It’s nice to, sure, that’s why I use a missal. But I’m not the focal point of Mass. It can happen without me there to ‘participate.’ Children I think would benefit more from knowing that happens at Mass rather than being worried about whether they can understand what is being said. For that matter, the concepts being discussed are not really child-level theology, so the words might as well be in another language anyway. (That is where home catechesis becomes necessary–it’s up to Mom and Dad to give them the formation so they understand what is being said, whether Latin or vernacular, and what is actually happening, which is to say, the unbloody sacrifice of Christ re-presented to God for mankind.)
She needs to sit down and talk to her husband. Take her questions to him directly. If they cannot be resolved one-to-one, the mediation of a knowledgeable priest or counsellor is needed. Do some reading on why there is a difference (when one is perceived) and why these things are worth the trouble for SSPXers.