I don't understand.

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Larowyn

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For years I’ve been back and forth between wanting to be a priest or monk or marrying and doing something else, and even now, mere weeks before I graduate from college, I still don’t know. Every few days I change my mind. I usually consider teaching, becoming a priest who teaches, joining an order that requires a vow of poverty, or turning my father’s woods into a farm. Sometimes this nagging thought that maybe my vocation is unclear because I will die too soon to do anything enters my mind.

I tried a Catholic singles website advertised on the back of my parish bulletin to see if God was leading me to a girl, but I never connected with anyone. One day I browsed their forums (I couldn’t post without paying for a subscription), but I was simply amazed at how many Catholics were posting on the singles board and discussing their experiences in dating; all of the posters there seemed that they were called to marry, and the vocations board seemed dead in comparison. This is another thing I don’t understand: how can so many Catholics be absolutely convinced that they want to be married, yet so few are equally convinced that they want to become priests or nuns or religious?
 
Marriage is the most common vocation…it is part of our natural inclination as well as a calling by God. Those that do not have a call to the priesthood will naturally feel very confident that there calling is to marriage.

If you are conflicted then you must go through a process of discernment. Do not attempt to discern a vocation to the priesthood while exploring the dating scene. The two are not compatible. I would strongly suggest that you get a spiritual director that can help you in the process of discernment. The next step is to “put out into the deep” with Jesus at your side. If a vocation is there then the Lord will help you see it through. If you are called to married life, He will show you that as well.

In the end you will be better prepared for whatever it is that God is calling you to. Prayer and openess are essential. Trust in the Holy Spirit and have no fear. “Put out into the deep.”
 
But if marriage is the most common vocation, why is it that there supposedly is a shortage of priests? And how do I know whether I should be married or become a priest if I neglect considering one in favor of the other?
 
The shortage of priests is due to the incredible number of distractions that steer us away from holiness. These same distractions are also distructive to the institution of marriage. That is why shacking up and divorce are common and successful marriages are in short supply.
 
So that means many Catholics seeking the married life are probably better off not marrying, but instead becoming religious?:confused:
 
Well, if they had a failed marriage, wouldn’t that mean that they probably would have been better suited to the religious life?
 
Larowyn said:
how can so many Catholics be absolutely convinced that they want to be married, yet so few are equally convinced that they want to become priests or nuns or religious?
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well. I have only read OP but this is my experience. I wanted to be a priest but during the homily when the priest said " God made a woman from Adams rib bone" My rib bone vibrated and shook and felt warm in place. Thats a direct sign that God wants me to marry!
I am blessed because I dont have to worry. I wouldve became a priest regardles of Gods will if I had not felt this. ( I allways wouldve assumed it as Gods will. 🙂
 
I suggest you contact your diocesan vocations office and look into obtaining a spiritual director who can help you with discernment.
 
1ke said:
I suggest you contact your diocesan vocations office and look into obtaining a spiritual director who can help you with discernment.
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he he. nahhhh. if you were talking about me? :confused:

I am pretty sure it was God
 
1ke said:
I suggest you contact your diocesan vocations office and look into obtaining a spiritual director who can help you with discernment.
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I tried discernment groups, but I really hated the military recruiter-style atmosphere it had. I don’t really like being pressured into things like that. My diocese is having a 24 hour vocations retreat in June and I’m thinking about going, but I’m not sure…
 
Larowyn said:
For years I’ve been back and forth between wanting to be a priest or monk or marrying and doing something else, and even now, mere weeks before I graduate from college, I still don’t know. Every few days I change my mind. I usually consider teaching, becoming a priest who teaches, joining an order that requires a vow of poverty, or turning my father’s woods into a farm. Sometimes this nagging thought that maybe my vocation is unclear because I will die too soon to do anything enters my mind.

I tried a Catholic singles website advertised on the back of my parish bulletin to see if God was leading me to a girl, but I never connected with anyone. One day I browsed their forums (I couldn’t post without paying for a subscription), but I was simply amazed at how many Catholics were posting on the singles board and discussing their experiences in dating; all of the posters there seemed that they were called to marry, and the vocations board seemed dead in comparison. This is another thing I don’t understand: how can so many Catholics be absolutely convinced that they want to be married, yet so few are equally convinced that they want to become priests or nuns or religious?
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Of all the options you gave in your post, they all have one theme: poverty.

Perhaps this is something you could dig into. If you feel called to live simply and below your means to a large extent, it could be a sign of a religious vocation.
 
Larowyn said:
So that means many Catholics seeking the married life are probably better off not marrying, but instead becoming religious?:confused:
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No, Larowyn, but there are a number of Catholics today who seek the married life but ARE being called to a religious or priestly vocation. However, these people cannot be your concern. You must focus on your own discernment, and make sure you choose the path God draws out for you.

Naturally, we are drawn to marriage, but we are called to a supernatural faith in which we are to realize the superiority of the priestly and religious life. That doesn’t mean we are called to this “superior” call, though. God calls some to embrace the “good” of marriage, some to embrace the “better” of religious life. But even those called to marriage are called to see the superiority of the call to religious life, and always keep in mind that those celibates point them to what their marriage is really supposed to lead them to and point them to - God and Heaven. Marriage can become “idolatry” just as money and sex and sports can.

That being said, how must you discern? Prayer, prayer, prayer. And a spiritual director too is essential for you at this stage. Get some good reading material on discernment too - your spiritual director can probably help with that. Or a vocations director. God’s blessings.
 
Larowyn said:
For years I’ve been back and forth between wanting to be a priest or monk or marrying and doing something else, and even now, mere weeks before I graduate from college, I still don’t know.

I tried a Catholic singles website advertised on the back of my parish bulletin to see if God was leading me to a girl, but I never connected with anyone. One day I browsed their forums (I couldn’t post without paying for a subscription), but I was simply amazed at how many Catholics were posting on the singles board and discussing their experiences in dating; all of the posters there seemed that they were called to marry, and the vocations board seemed dead in comparison
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Paragraph 1: Vocational discernment sometimes takes many years. Be patient with God, and in the meantime, devote this time of your life to figure some things out, live and enjoy life, and being productive with your singleness. As well, follow some of the other fine advice that has been offered.

Paragraph 2: Well, this should not surprise you. The singels website is where people go to meet potential spouses. Doesn’t surprise me that they aren’t the least bit interested in religious life (though most should probably be more open to it and have a greater admiration for it). If you were on a forum for guys looking for dioceses to study for or religious orders to join, the vocations forum there would be prettly lively, and the forum for dating / marriage would be pretty dead by comparison too.

Anyway, blessings, friend. I am a fellow “discerner”, and I don’t know which way God is going to finally call me (I’m 30, so brace yourself - discernment might take you this long).
 
It’s especially hard for me to decide between the married or religious life considering that I was adopted and thus have no siblings to carry on my adoptive family’s legacy. What do I do with my father’s land if I take vows of poverty? What do I do if I give it all up and later realize that I’ve been called out? Sometimes I think it would be appropriate to marry a Catholic girl, have several children, and hope that one of them becomes a priest or monk.
 
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