Actually, you did not make any of that clear in your original post. And your tone in it is very angry. You mentioned people who complain about their kids without specifically mentioning you don’t mean parents who occasionally vent—it was open to be interpreted that you meant any parent who makes any complaint about their children. You also explicitly said your struggles with infertility are worse than the other people’s struggles. That’s minimizing, and it’s not fair to say such things.I’m not really doing that at all actually. I come from a family of six. I’m aware kids can be a challenge. And I’m not talking about parents venting or people feeling momentarily overwhelmed, or even people using NFP to avoid pregnancy for a good reason. I made that quite clear.
I’m talking about an overwhelming tendency in modern society, and increasingly among Catholics, to view kids as a burden and talk about them as such.
I’m also not minimising the pain of people who genuinely need to avoid kids or angry at those people. I’m not actually angry about it at all, I just have become more acutely aware of this particular thing.
I think there is just anger and frustration. Sometimes it takes a person who cannot have children to realize the poor attitudes in some who take their children for granted. And there are people who say ugly things about the vocation of parenting!Actually, you did not make any of that clear in your original post. And your tone in it is very angry. You mentioned people who complain about their kids without specifically mentioning you don’t mean parents who occasionally vent—it was open to be interpreted that you meant any parent who makes any complaint about their children. You also explicitly said your struggles with infertility are worse than the other people’s struggles. That’s minimizing, and it’s not fair to say such things.
@Allegra is spot on about everything. I am also a teacher and worked with many children before I had my own. I thought it would prepare me for parenthood. It didn’t. The responsibility of being completely entrusted with the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of another human being is not something you fully understand until it happens.
I understand he is angry and frustrated. But people who found his words to be in poor taste are not doing anything wrong. Most of the posters who told him his post was in poor taste also sympathized with him, said they would pray for him, and wished him well.I think there is just anger and frustration. Sometimes it takes a person who cannot have children to realize the poor attitudes in some who take their children for granted. And there are people who say ugly things about the vocation of parenting!
The OP has said he knows what it’s like to be responsible for children because he had many siblings. All we’re saying is that having many siblings isn’t the same as parenting. He says people who have children don’t understand his struggles and that his struggles are worse than theirs. We’re saying he doesn’t understand their struggles either and it’s not fair to say his struggles are worse.And still, all good reason we should rightly be so honored to bring children into the world who are connected to us through God’s creative wonder.
I never said it was the same. This thread wins the prize for people wilfully misrepresenting stuff.The OP has said he knows what it’s like to be responsible for children because he had many siblings. All we’re saying is that having many siblings isn’t the same as parenting.
Adam, please reread the chain of posts. How else was this comment supposed to be interpreted? You said your struggles with infertility are worse than the struggles of those who have children. You made no clarification in your original post that you didn’t mean those who occasionally “vent” about their children. @Allegra pointed out that while those who have children don’t understand your struggle with infertility, you also don’t understand the struggles of people who do have children. You then said you know kids can be difficult because you have many siblings. Allegra pointed out that having many siblings isn’t adequately comparable to parenthood.I never said it was the same.
Yes, That is not the same as saying I know what it’s like to be a parent.You then said you know kids can be difficult because you have many siblings.
Dear one, I’m sorry, but in the context of this discussion, it does imply that. At the very least, you can’t blame other posters for interpreting it that way.Yes, That is not the same as saying I know what it’s like to be a parent.